My mind went into overdrive trying to process the last ten minutes. Because there was no way in hell that Casey Santiago just told me she wanted me to have sex with her. At least that’s how my brain interpreted what I’d just heard, and I almost prayed I was wrong. Even as that tiny voice whispered it hoped I was right. She sat there looking determined, nervous, a tad hopeful even, and always beautiful. The sunlight streamed through the living room window, shining brightly on her dark brown hair, emphasizing the natural caramel highlights scattered through it. Adorable freckles dotted her nose, and her azure colored eyes sparkled beneath long lashes.

She’d drastically changed from that sallow-faced, frail, timid young woman I first spied two years ago. She’d been terrified and huddled so tightly against the arm of this same couch as though she wanted to disappear inside it. Back then, she’d been leery of me and any other man within spitting distance. Which, given her history, was completely understandable. Now, her eyes had lost their haunted look, although I knew the demons still visited her at times. Occasionally, I’d catch a fleeting expression of fear, but she always quickly chased it away. She refused to let it control her.

“So, are you ever going to say anything or just keep staring at me in abject horror?” Casey’s voice bordered on irritation.

“I’m trying to compute what you just said. I’m a man, remember; I need a few extra minutes. My brain doesn’t work as fast as yours.”

Casey snorted at that and lightly smacked my thigh. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. “How long does it usually take for you to decide if you’re going to have sex with a woman or not?”

I choked on my own spit. Shit, I hadn’t been wrong. “Jesus.”

She shrugged. “What? I’m just ripping the Band-Aid off. Trying to make it less painful for both of us, I guess.”

“Yeah, well try not to pull the arm hairs when you rip it off next time, will ya? Although, I pray there isn’t going to be a next time.”

“Stop making jokes, Philip. I’m serious here.”

“I know you are, and that’s what scares the shit out of me.”

This woman was going to be the death of me.

“I’m not that scary.”

“Honey, if you only knew how terrifying you truly are.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” Casey frowned at me.

My breath huffed out. “Do you understand the magnitude of what you’re asking me to do? What you’re asking me is not something I can give you an immediate decision on. There are consequences that need to be considered here.”

Her forehead scrunched in confusion, and her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean…consequences?”

This wasn’t an insult by any means, but God, she was so naive. Almost juvenile in her outlook on life sometimes. I blamed it on her upbringing.

“Have you considered what this could do to our friendship? Sex complicates things. It changes the dynamic between two people. What happens if one of us falls in love with the other, but the other person doesn’t feel the same way? Do you know how devastating that would be?”

She slumped down into her seat, dejection clear on her face. She propped her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her temple on her closed fist, letting out a dramatic sigh.

“Oh, I guess I didn’t really think of that.”

She quickly perked up, a big grin spreading across her face. “What if I promise not to fall in love with you?”

I couldn’t help but smile a little sadly as I reached out to cup her jaw. I rubbed my thumb across her cheek as I asked softly, “What happens if I fall in love with you?”

The atmosphere between us after my open-ended question was fraught with tension and an awkwardness that hadn’t been present in our friendship since the beginning. I didn’t wait for her to respond before I rose from the couch.

“I’m going to head outside and check on things.” I shifted nervously, something I’d never been around her. Patient, compassionate, quiet, yes. But never nervous.

“You know you don’t need to do that anymore.”

“I know I don’t, but it makes me feel better.” With that, I headed outside. I’d just checked the last camera in the backyard when the door opened, and Casey stepped out.

“Everything okay?” I asked in surprise since she’d always stayed inside while I worked.

“I wanted to see what you did out here. After all this time, I still really don’t know. I was also hoping you’d tell me why you still check security for a house that doesn’t need it. None of my father’s former associates care about me.” She sat on the single wooden deck step and propped her chin on her hands.

It was best that I humored her, because I knew she wasn’t going to drop the subject. “I check to make sure all the cameras are online and that all the motion detection lights work. I also check the doors and windows to make sure they’re locked and the seal is tight. As unnecessary as it seems, I still do it because I want to. Because it gives me an excuse to continue coming over here to see my friend.”

“Oh.” She sat up a little taller and smiled shyly.

“C’mon, let’s go back inside. I’m finished.”

Neither of us brought the previous topic of discussion back up. Later on, I said my goodbyes and headed home. I needed to make a quick detour first.

* * *

After parking my blue, extended cab pick-up truck in the driveway, I grabbed the box off the seat next to me. It was wrapped in paper a nauseating shade of pink, the color of Pepto Bismol, with a giant, white ribbon and a ridiculous amount of tight spiral curled tendrils falling over the side. I tipped my head in greeting at the neighbor out watering her lawn, but didn’t engage in any conversation. When I reached the door, I let myself in.

The scent of freshly-baked cookies teased my nose, and the laughter of young girls filled the air. The sound of running footsteps grew louder, and I braced myself against the impact as suddenly, fifty pounds of energy barreled into me, spindly arms wrapping around my waist.

“Uncle Philip! Uncle Philip!” The little spider monkey hollered as she crawled up my body before latching on to my neck, her legs winding tightly around me. “Is that my birthday present?”

I barked out a laugh at my incorrigible eight-year old niece as she looked up at me, innocently batting her eye lashes. Heavier footsteps quickly followed.

“Pippa, let Uncle Philip at least get the door shut before you start harassing him,” my sister, Clarissa scolded, her arms folded across her chest as she leaned against the hall wall.

Pippa bussed a kiss across my cheek as I set her on her feet.

“Happy birthday,” I told her as I handed over the gift. She squealed and jumped up and down, clapping her hands in glee. She took the box from me and raced down the hallway, screeching out a “thank you, Uncle Philip” over her shoulder. Then I heard her yelling, “I got another present to open”.

Clarissa kissed my cheek in the same spot Pippa had.

“Thank you for bringing her gift over, Philip. You didn’t have to. We could have picked it up this weekend.”

We headed into the family room, and while Clarissa settled on the chaise sectional, I dropped into the brown, leather recliner. “It’s no big deal. I was out and about anyway. Besides, I wouldn’t dare to not stop by to wish Princess Pippa a happy birthday.”

My sister laughed. “She certainly acts like she’s a princess some days. So, how are things?”

I studied her for a minute. Clarissa and I had similar coloring with our light brown hair, broad nose, and sharp cheekbones. I noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the new tension lines around them.

“About the same. I have two tickets to a Nationals game in a couple weeks, if you want to see if Larry will watch the kids so you can go with me.”

Clarissa winced and shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

I tensed at her words. “Why not? What’s going on? Is everything okay between you guys?”

“We’re just —” she paused, measuring her words— “trying to work through some things. It’s nothing for you to worry about. It’ll be fine. So, how’s Casey doing?”

Her smile was weak, and I wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince me or herself. But, I knew how stubborn my sister was, so I didn’t want to push too much or she’d go on the defensive. I let the topic go. For today at least.

Now, it was my turn to shift uncomfortably, and I had a hard time looking Clarissa in the eye. “She’s fine. She’s working on finishing up her degree. She should graduate in a few months.”

She narrowed her gaze, her hazel eyes studying me. Damn it. I had never been able to keep secrets from my little sister. Somehow, she saw everything.

“Your left eye is twitching, Philip. I know that means you’re hiding something.”

The back of my neck grew hot, and I felt the flush spread across my face. It was ridiculous that a thirty-six year old man blushed so easily. My sister just continued to stare at me impatiently. I knew she’d let the silence get so thick that I would be forced to fill it. It was how she worked when she wanted to know something I didn’t want to tell her. I hated the heavy silence.

“God, you’re a pain in the ass.” I rolled my eyes at her. “So, apparently Casey has decided it’s time for her to overcome her traumatic past and replace the memories of what was done to her with new memories. She wants the two of us to…do it.”

Clarissa’s eyes opened wide in shock. “You mean like ‘do it’?”

Didn’t I say women’s brains worked much faster than men’s? It took her a lot less time to work through it than it had me.

I nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

My sister knew I was head over heels in love with Casey Santiago, even if Casey herself didn’t have a clue. A look of pity flashed in her eyes. God, I hated that useless emotion. The town had pitied us when my firefighter dad died in a four-alarm blaze when I was five. Then again when my older brother overdosed when I was thirteen. Six years later, my mother was hit in a head-on collision by a drunk driver that left her paralyzed from the neck down. This was the catalyst that had me discharged from the Marines. I’d been in Afghanistan for five months when I got the call to come back in order to care for her and, a then fourteen year old, Clarissa.

“What are you going to do?” she interrupted my memories.

I leaned back in the leather seat as my distracted gaze watched the girls now running around in the backyard, screaming like banshees. “I have no idea.”