When Josie first called to tell me that Philip had called in “sick”, I’d been devastated. But, after a while, I realized I should have expected it. I knew Philip. He’d blame himself for what happened, even though we both knew my panic attack wasn’t his fault. That blame lay solely on my father and Mr. Childress’ heads. Philip and I were too good of friends for him to let this come between us. In the meantime, Josie was on her way over.

I spent the afternoon working and studying so it helped to take my mind off things. I got so wrapped up in my work, I didn’t hear Josie come in.

“Hello, hello!”

“Oh my god, you scared the crap out of me.” I swiveled around in my chair, hand to my chest to try and calm my racing heart.

“Sorry,” she said with a sheepish grin. “How you doing?”

“Well, let’s see, my best friend is avoiding me at the moment, so how do you think I’m doing?”

“What makes you think Philip is avoiding you?” Josie asked as she moved to sit on the chaise lounge.

I knew there was no way around it. I was going to have to spill my guts. “When we went on our date the other night, he brought me flowers, took me out to a fancy dinner, and we danced under the stars. It was the best night of my life. Except, when we got back to my house, I might have had a small panic attack, which freaked him out.”

I knew I was leaving a few things out, but I hoped Josie wouldn’t pick up on it.

“And what brought on this attack? I mean something had to have happened.” Her tone was cautiously curious.

Crap.

“Well, we might have been fooling around a little bit. He said something, and it triggered a memory. Hence, the freak out. First mine, then his.”

Josie shoulders sagged. “Oh, Casey, I’m so sorry. I should have known it was something like that. I mean, in all the years I’ve known Philip, I can’t remember a time he’s ever actually been sick. I mean, not that I know him that well, but well enough that I should have found it odd for him to call in.”

I shrugged with a small hmph. “Until he decides to stop avoiding me, there’s not much I can do. He can’t avoid me forever. He can’t, right?”

“You know he’s not like that. He’ll take a few days to calm down, and then he’ll be back. I’m not saying things won’t be awkward between you, but he’ll be here. Just give him some time.”

I nodded.

Josie rose from the chair. “Have you eaten?”

I glanced at the clock and couldn’t believe the time. “No, but you know, ice cream sounds good right about now actually.”

She waved me back into my seat. “Stay there, I’ll go get it.”

While she was in the kitchen, I saved my work and then shut down my computer. I’d just finished putting a client portfolio away when I heard her footsteps.

“Can I ask you something? It’s just something I’ve been thinking about more and more lately. Especially after you told me what you wanted Philip’s help to do,” Josie asked as she walked back into the living room, two bowls in hand.

She handed me one and plopped on the other end of the couch, careful not to spill hers.

“Of course.”

She finished swallowing her spoonful of dark chocolate and marshmallow ice cream before she spoke again.

“Do you ever resent me? Because I didn’t get you away from Dad sooner? You know…after.”

“You mean after Mr. Childress raped me? You can say it, Josie. I’m not going to lose it on you. It happened, and I’ve learned to deal with it, my date with Philip notwithstanding.” I took a bite of my ice cream even as she flinched.

“You were fourteen years old, Casey. It had been going on for almost a year before I even knew what was happening. And then, for me to leave you with Dad for the next eight years.” Her voice broke, but she cleared her throat and gathered her composure.

“Josie, you didn’t just leave me with Dad. He forced you out. Disowned you. And you were the one who killed Mr. Childress. How could I ever resent you? I’m actually envious. Do you know how many times I wished that man dead? You saved me. Both then and when you got me out of Dad’s house. Even if he seemed shocked, I think Dad knew you were using your knowledge of computers to keep tabs on him. He might not have realized the extent of your hacking skills and how much evidence you’d actually acquired over the years to put him away, but still, he knew. Which is why after Mr. Childress was dead, Dad left me alone. It’s why I didn’t have any more of his “friends” visit me in my bedroom. Dad realized what you were capable of doing. I think he was afraid of you.”

“I’ve just worried all this time. I mean, what if I’d been able to get you out sooner? Hell, what if I’d have been able to stop it sooner. Maybe you wouldn’t need Philip to help you get over the memories. Maybe you’d already be married with babies right now. I feel so guilty sometimes.”

I quickly set down my bowl and reached out to hug Josie tight.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about. Bad things happen in life. That will never change. It’s how we react and cope with the bad things that matter. I’m okay. I swear. Philip and I will be okay. He’ll come around eventually. And, well, if he doesn’t, then I’ll figure something else out. In the meantime, I’m going to give him his space. The more I try to push, the more he’s going to push back. Now, let’s finish our ice cream, and I want you to tell me all about this new case you’re working on. Babysitting a senator’s diva daughter hell-bent on partying her life away? Sounds juicy.”

Josie and I spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and having sister time. I hadn’t lied when I said I was giving Philip his space. But I’d only let it happen for so long.