Philip’s kiss was burned into my forehead for hours after his lips no longer touched me. It was a heady feeling. If I felt the heat from just the briefest of touches, I expected I’d go down in flames before this was all over. Even as fear tickled my brain at the thought, another more prevalent emotion took the reins. Excitement danced in my belly. I’d woken up this morning giddy and nervous, but in a good way.

Normally, I didn’t put much stock in my appearance, but today, I found myself taking a little extra time to get ready. I dabbed on some light pink lip gloss, added some eyeliner and mascara, and barrel curled my hair. I painstakingly flipped through every piece of clothing I owned, eventually settling on a bright yellow, maxi-dress with big, white flowers and a pair of white wedge sandals. I almost added some jewelry, but I thought that was a little overkill.

I had one of my textbooks out, and I was desperately trying to study, but I found myself glancing at the clock every ten minutes. Knowing that I needed to turn in this assignment tomorrow, I made myself focus. Luckily, it worked, and I’d become so engrossed, I lost track of time. The knock on the door broke my concentration. My heart raced, and I smoothed my suddenly sweaty palms on my thighs. I attempted to look busy as I heard Philip say my name when he walked in.

“Morning,” he greeted me looking relaxed and casual, as though our entire dynamic hadn’t shifted yesterday. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe I was making more of it than he was.

I tried to act natural. “Oh, hey.”

Clearly, acting was not my forte since my greeting sounded forced and awkward.

“You look like you’re busy, so I’m going to put the groceries away, and then do a quick walk around outside. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He disappeared down the hall. My shoulders slumped. He hadn’t said anything about me looking different today. Maybe I had gone through all that effort for nothing.

“Oh, you look especially beautiful today, by the way.” Philip popped his head around the corner before he disappeared again. A stupid, silly smile crossed my face now, and I spun around in circles in my office chair.

He must have made quick work outside, because suddenly, he was standing in front of me again.

“I have a surprise for you,” he said, plopping down in the recliner across from where I sat. “You haven’t eaten lunch yet, have you?”

“No, why?” I looked at him suspiciously.

Philip stood and reached out his hand. “I told you, it’s a surprise. Now, do you trust me?”

I hesitated for only a moment before placing my hand in his. He gently pulled me out of the chair and looped my arm through his bent one.

“Thank you for your trust. I won’t lead you astray, I promise.” He looked down and winked at me. “Much, anyway.”

My chest tightened, and my heart dropped with slight panic when he began leading me out the front door. He slowed his stride when he felt the hesitation in my footsteps. I gathered up my courage and kept silent as Philip escorted me out to his truck, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for me, then closed it after I’d secured my seatbelt.

He hopped up in the driver’s seat, threw me a one-hundred watt smile, and started up the vehicle. He fiddled with the radio, stopping on an oldies station.

“So, how are the studies going?”

It took me a minute to realize Philip was speaking to me over the sound of rushing water in my head. I was outside, and he hadn’t prepared me for this. I never went outside without at least a day’s prep. My palms were sweaty, and my whole body felt clammy.

“Oh, um, they’re going okay. This semester has been a lot tougher, but I guess that’s expected since it’s so close to graduation. Only a few months left.” I wondered if Philip could hear the tremble in my voice as loudly as I could.

A warm hand covered mine. I looked down at Philip intertwining our fingers. My head shot up to look at him. He squeezed my hand even though he didn’t speak. He just sent me a look that said, “You’re okay. I’m right here.” And suddenly, a light bulb went off, and I realized he was right. Everything was going to work out just fine. After that, the rest of the drive was actually pleasant. We talked about his youngest niece’s birthday and how his oldest niece was broken hearted about her first boyfriend breaking up with her. She alternated between crying her eyes out and being pissed off about what a jerk he was.

I found it oddly fascinating. I’d never had a boyfriend, so I’d never experienced the teenage angst. I could imagine the heartache she felt though. My glance darted to Philip, who kept his eyes on the road as he talked and drove. It made me more appreciative of having Philip in my life, because right now, I couldn’t imagine it without him.

When the truck came to a stop, he let go of my hand and shut it off. I hadn’t even realized we were at our destination. I peered out of the front windshield, my neck craning as I looked up and around at where he’d brought us. I’d been paying more attention to the sight of a Ferris wheel, roller coaster, and clock tower than to Philip, because I startled when he opened my door. When I looked over at him, I saw he was carrying a picnic basket.

“What is this place?” I asked in wonder.

I placed my hand in his free one as he helped me out of the cab, releasing it when my feet hit the ground. I turned in circles in the empty lot. Grass grew through cracks in the sidewalk and the place looked like one of those spooky old ghost towns you see on TV with the sagebrush rolling through the street.

“This, my dear Casey, is Poppy Park. Or rather, it used to be back in the day. It was the place to take a girl on your first date when I was a kid.”

“Wow, no wonder it’s shut down. That was eons ago.” I couldn’t help razzing Philip about his age, even though you’d never know how old he was based on his looks. With his Viking good looks, especially when he smiled, he could pass for ten years younger.

He nudged me with his elbow. “Hey, watch it, you. I can keep up with guys half my age, I’ll have you know.”

I gave him a once over as my cheeks heated, especially when he reached for my hand again. Philip certainly had a thing for that. Not that I was complaining.

As we strolled toward the entrance, I couldn’t help wondering. “I have a question. If this place has been shut down for so long, how are we going to get in?”

Philip wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Oh, ye of little faith.”

“I’m not going to have to call my sister to bail us out of jail, am I?”

He snorted. “Not hardly. I called in a few favors from a buddy of mine who knows the former owner. He unlocked the gates for us and said we could hang out for a couple hours, but then he’d have to lock up again. So, for the next two hours, we have the whole park to ourselves. Not that any of the rides are even hooked up anymore, but I have the perfect spot for our picnic lunch.”

Once inside the park, my gaze took everything in. I imagined the place back in its heyday with teenagers and parents with their small children strolling along. I almost heard the screams and laughter of ride-goers as they were whipped around on the roller coaster. I pictured their eyes watering and hair blowing, as they held on for dear life while the ride plunged them in to an unknown abyss. This place must have been amazing. My heart ached to see it in such disrepair.

I gasped when I spotted the giant carousel in front of us. It reminded me of the musical snow globe Josie had bought me when she went away to college, shortly after it started happening. “It” being the fact that from thirteen to fourteen, my father had “gifted” me to one of his business associates who was partial to young girls. I purged the unpleasant memory and focused on how less alone the tiny little carousel horse had made me feel. Every night before I went to sleep, I’d turn the knob and shake it up and watch the snow and glitter dance around the bobbing horse. Even for an almost fourteen year-old, it was magical.

This was the first one I’d ever seen up close, and tears filled my eyes. It was just as majestic in the flesh as I’d imagined, no matter how old and battered it appeared. It signified a time in my life when I desperately needed a friend, and that single horse inside that glittery snow globe was the only one I had.

“Casey, hon, what’s wrong?” Philip stepped in front of me, effectively blocking the carousel from my view, concern written across his face. He reached up to swipe away a tear I hadn’t realized I’d shed.

I hastily wiped away the rest of them with a self-deprecating laugh. “God, you must think I’m being silly, crying at the sight of a stupid ride. It’s nothing, really.”

“Hey,” he whispered, “it’s obviously something important, to cause that kind of reaction. I don’t think you’re being silly at all. Do you—do you want to tell me what happened?”

I shook my head, taking in a shuddering breath. “Not really. Not today at least. I want today to be all about happiness. And being here, with you, makes me happy. So, let’s have a picnic.”

Philip studied me for another minute, waiting for me to change my mind, maybe. But I was resolute in my decision. I didn’t want anything to ruin this afternoon by talking about the past. Now that I was actually out of the house, and here, excitement filled me. This was living. I was doing something completely, and utterly, normal. And aside from a few tears and a brief trip down memory lane I’d rather not have had, this was part of what I’d wanted from Philip, even if I hadn’t known it. It was finally occurring to me that there was more than just sex that I needed to erase. I’d asked for his help to create new memories. And today was a day I would remember forever.