Chapter 29
Luca
For nine minutes I stared at my phone after I hung up. The next eight were spent smiling at the picture of Mikey wearing my jersey. Add another sixteen of me ignoring the pile of paperwork on my desk while memories of a certain blonde and her son took over my brain. It was fair to say I wouldn’t be getting any more work done.
I had a ton to do at the office, and even more at home. But based on my sluggishness over the past ten days, every simple task took a fuck-ton longer than it should have. With a sigh, I packed up what I needed for the trip to L.A. and headed out of the quiet office. Maybe I’d have better luck at home, although I doubted it.
I couldn’t even blame my lack of focus on the fact I spoke to them for the first time in ten days. Because to be honest, even during the silence, concentration was non-existent. Except for one text asking Sabrina how Mikey was sleeping, there was no communication between us. That didn’t mean the need to see her hadn’t consumed me. A few times during this past week I’d walk by the salon in hopes to catch a glimpse. Through the window, a smiling Sabrina was enough to appease my curiosity. She seemed happy and appeared to be just fine.
Wasn’t that what I wanted?
But in one fell swoop, by just speaking to Mikey, hearing the obvious normalcy through the phone, made me equal parts sad and angry. I missed that kid so much, and his mother even more. After she pushed me away, I sympathized with her motives. That five minute phone call I received out of the blue effectively reversed any understanding I held for the situation.
During the trek from the office to my apartment, I flip-flopped at least a dozen times between not wanting to leave New York and feeling it might be just what I needed at the moment. Some distance could do me good, because for the life of me I no longer understood why we were apart. For the first time in ten days, my anger took over my sadness.
One thing I was certain of, she wasn’t ready to move on. I didn’t know if it was his betrayal that seeped into her conscience and caused a lack of trust, or if she wasn’t feeling the same toward me as I felt for her. Either way, to force something that wasn’t meant to be would only result in more heartbreak… for me, for her, and for Mikey.
Just as I stepped through my door, my phone chimed with an incoming text.
Cassie: Are you alive?
Cassie: I’m about to call John Walsh.
Me: No need. I’m breathing, does that count?
Cassie: Where are you?
Me: I just got home.
Cassie: Coming with food. Chill the wine.
Me: I’m busy.
Cassie: Doing?
Me: Washing my hair.
Cassie: Cut the shit, Luca. I know.
Me: Know what?
Cassie: The reason you’ve avoided people since graduation. Do you think I believed your lame excuses? I gave you space, but your time is up. Be there in twenty.
My gut wanted to tell her I needed more space, especially after today. But a pang of regret hit over the distance I put between one of my best friends and me. I really hadn’t socialized with any of my friends. With Jude and Brae still in Hawaii, Kyle and Vanessa busy with work, and Cassie taking a child psychology course at NYU, it had been easy to lie low. Like Cassie said, my time was up.
True to her word, my doorman announced her arrival twenty minutes later. I propped a shoulder on the doorframe of my apartment door waiting for her to appear. The elevator doors opened, and upon seeing me she shook her head. “Going for the Paul Bunyan look?”
I ran a hand over my overgrown scruff. It had started because I couldn’t be bothered to shave every day, but now I liked the way it felt like a mask. “You don’t like it?” I asked, moving aside to let her pass.
“If you sported a clown wig and a red nose, you’d still be a hottie, my friend.”
“Gee, thanks.”
She raised the brown bag in her hand. “I was in the mood for Greek.” Before I could say, that was fine with me, she pointed to the beach ball Mikey made in her class, that was on display in my living room. “He was very proud of how it turned out.”
I smiled. “He should be.” As I pulled out dishes, silverware, and glasses, Cassie sat quietly. I glanced over my shoulder with a smirk. “Cat got your tongue, Brooks?”
“Nope. Just waiting for your undivided attention, Benedetto.”
After grabbing a bottle of wine from my fridge and serving us each a glassful, I sat with a huff and raised my hands. “So? What’s new?”
“Funny. What the hell happened?” From the bag she pulled out a greek salad for herself and a gyro for me.
“Have you spoken to her?” I asked, curious if Sabrina had reached out to Cassie.
“No.” The fact she hadn’t hurt a lot. A sick part of me stupidly thought if Sabrina had been as distraught as I was she’d want to talk to Cassie about it. Apparently, not.
Cassie took a sip of the wine before going on. “That day, she was upset. When I tried to talk to her about it she kind of dismissed me. I was concerned, and with you being swamped at work I didn’t want to add to your stress. But then Becky called me just before I texted you.”
“What did she say?”
“That she was at Sabrina’s earlier and was concerned that she seemed miserable.”
I knew the feeling. Staring at my still-closed styrofoam container, I asked, “And Mikey?”
She waited for me to lift my eyes to hers. “That was why Becky reached out. She gave me the rundown on what Sabrina said happened after the ceremony. Yes, that day Mikey was not himself. But since then, he seems absolutely fine.”
“I surmised that after I spoke to him.” Cassie uncrimped the silver edge on the tin holding her salad and waited for me to elaborate. “Sabrina called me today. Mikey wanted to thank me for the graduation presents I left with her. Cass, he sounded normal, with no evidence of the way Sabrina said he acted when I didn’t show. I felt awful that day, for disappointing him and her. I listened to her make excuse after excuse on why she felt us starting a relationship was a stupid idea.”
“You don’t believe her?” she asked, before stabbing some leafy greens with her fork.
I shook my head as she ate the forkful of salad. “I do. Before I left her apartment that night, Mikey had a nightmare.” Remembering his scream haunted me. “It was at that point, I thought I understood where she was coming from. But now, just like then, I think there’s more to it all, and…”
I stopped myself from revealing too much. Sabrina’s story wasn’t mine to tell. Amending what I was about to say, I flipped open the lid to my dinner and added, “I don’t doubt that to a five-year-old, missing something as important as a graduation seemed like the end of the world. I know enough about kids to know they happen to be resilient, with the ability to forget and move on much quicker than adults can.”
“So, you think this is Sabrina pushing you away for her own reasons?”
“Maybe,” I lied. Without a doubt she pushed me away. Because that prick cheated on her, I wholeheartedly believed that she clung to the first legitimate excuse to add distance to protect her heart.
“Maybe you should talk face to face?”
“I’ve said all I needed to. She knows how I feel.” Cassie’s raised brows meant she didn’t agree. “Don’t look at me like that. I told her I loved her, Cass. I’ve never said that to a woman I wasn’t related to.” I scrubbed my jaw with my hand. “I think she needs time, we both do. Talking face to face or over a phone, isn’t going to change what happened.”
“I’m sorry, Luca. I didn’t know you loved her,” she said with a soothing tone and warm eyes. “That’s not entirely true. I had a suspicion, but wasn’t sure you had admitted it to yourself let alone her.”
“Well, my declaration didn’t change the outcome of what happened.”
Cassie put her fork down and paused while staring at my face. “Can I ask you one more question about Sabrina, and then I’ll drop it?” On my nod, she said, “What would you do if she changed her mind?”
Without any hesitation, I responded, “I’d take her back in a heartbeat. But based on our last conversation, I don’t see that happening. If it weren’t for Mikey, she never would have called me.”
Staying true to her word, she took another bite of her meal and chewed. “When are you flying to L.A.?”
“Monday. I’ll be there all week, but I may stick around a bit longer, since my brother has a photo shoot that week.”
“You and your brother in L.A.? Should I be prepared to send bail money?”
“The only reason you’d have to bail me out was if I killed him.” Cassie knew how different Dante and I were, and spending an extended amount of time together could be a huge mistake. But, having said that, I also knew Dante would provide the perfect distraction.
I finally took the first bite of my dinner and turned the tables. “Tell me about this Carson dude.”
“Thomas,” she corrected. “Carson is his last name.”
“And?”
That was all it took for my friend to bring me up to speed on the guy she had gone on a few dates with. It felt good to think of something else other than Sabrina. Based on the way Cassie smiled throughout, I was glad she seemed happy… one of us should be.
Sabrina
Every clip, snip, and curl felt robotic. Client after client, I would don a happy face and listen to their latest trials and tribulations as most hairstylists did. The salon primped many June brides and I was thankful to see this month nearing its end.
After I adjusted the veil on my client, and wished her well, I decided to take a break. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and checked my text messages. My parents took Mikey to a museum, so I knew I wouldn’t have heard from them, but there was a missed call from Cassie.
Sliding the green icon to the right, I called her back.
“Hi, Sabrina.”
As always, her chipper voice made me smile. “Hi, Cassie. I’m sorry I haven’t called you back.”
“That’s okay. How are you and your little first grader?” She sighed. “I’m going to miss having him in class.”
“We’re good, thank you. How are you? Is everything okay?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I know it’s short notice, but I’m at the café around the corner from the salon. Can you meet me for lunch or do you have a busy schedule?”
Worry started to settle in and I felt like a horrible friend. “I have time for lunch. I’ll head over now.”
“Perfect. See you soon.”
Becky’s laughter filled the salon as she straightened a woman’s hair. “Hey Beck, I’m going to head to lunch to meet Cassie. I’ll be back before my two o’clock.”
Her lips twitched before turning into a grin. “Sounds good. Have fun.”
Surprised to see Cassie beat me there, she looked up and smiled when she saw me approach the table. I slung my purse on the back of the chair and sat down. “Hi, thank you for calling today.”
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since the last day of school. I can’t believe almost three weeks have passed. Time flies.”
Flies? This has been the longest twenty days of my life. Mustering a smile to match hers, I agreed. “It sure does.”
The waitress came by and after a quick skim of the menus, we placed our orders.
Cassie straightened her posture. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I know you’re pressed for time, so I’m just going to cut to the chase.”
“Is everything okay?”
“No, actually it isn’t. My best friend’s heart is broken.” I opened my mouth but she held up an index finger just as I imagined she did in class. “I know it’s none of my business, but I’m making it mine. I saw Luca last Saturday.” The nerve endings in my face prickled. “Before you get angrier at him, he didn’t tell me everything that happened, only that he felt horrible for disappointing you and Mikey… oh, and that he told you he loved you. What happened, Sabrina? The two of you are perfect for each other.”
“Life happened. You know how difficult this past year had been for Mikey. Seeing him revert back to the scared, sad, little boy broke my heart. To be honest, it also scared me too. Luca meant the world to him.”
“What about you? What does he mean to you? And yes, I used present tense because I believe you still care for him.”
The waitress set down our meals and walked away. “I do care for him and about him. None of this is fair, Cassie. Do you think I wanted to end things with him? Do you think I wanted my son to wonder why his best friend doesn’t come around anymore? Because that’s how he thinks of Luca.” I pushed my salad aside. “Do you think I wanted to break anyone’s heart? Don’t you think I miss him too? I do. Every day I hope that he’s okay, that he doesn’t forget us, that he’ll find happiness.” She stared at me. “But this isn’t just about me, and you know that.”
Her hand was suddenly on mine. “I do know that. I also know you’ve had to deal with more than your share of heartbreak, and I’m so sorry about that. I also know you want to protect Mikey, but do you really think keeping Luca out of his life is accomplishing that? You just said Mikey misses him. Luca’s here. He’s alive and he loves you and your son. Do you really want to throw all of that away? You said you want him to find happiness, but do you really? Would you be okay seeing him with someone else?” Tears welled in my eyes. “I didn’t think so.”
We sat silently for a few minutes. Deep down in my soul, I knew I loved Luca. Remembering all of the words he said to Mikey before he left swam in my head.
“I don’t know what to do.”
She sat back in her chair. “Jude and Brae are having a party in the Hamptons to celebrate the Fourth of July. She wanted me to extend an invitation to you since she figured, Luca might have forgotten.” When my eyebrows rose she added, “Yes, this was before the breakup but who cares. It’s still valid.”
I remember him telling me about the Hamptons a few weeks ago. “Thank you, but I can’t go.”
Cassie exhaled, picked up her phone and started tapping something in. My heart stopped thinking she was texting Luca but then my phone chimed. When I read it, she sent me a text with an address.
“The ball is in your court now. I think you’re making a big mistake letting go of something and someone so wonderful.”
The rest of our meal was awkward and tense, and like a coward I was relieved when the waitress came by with our tab. Before I could get it, Cassie snatched it off the table. “It’s on me.” We both stood and she hugged me. “Think about what I said, okay?”
I nodded. I had a feeling that would be all I could think about.