When I woke up to find messages on my phone, my heart leaped. I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. But then I saw that none of the messages were from Jacen.

I’d texted him four times.

Each time, I’d waited for an answer.

Each time, I’d waited and gotten nothing.

Already today, Daytin had texted me twice. Piety had texted me once and asked how I was doing. Astra wanted me to join her for lunch.

I responded to her first and told her I couldn’t. I’d gotten a book list back from one of the professors I’d have in the fall and needed to start looking for them so I could get a jump start on reading them. Then, without thinking about how it hurt that Jacen hadn’t texted back, I responded to Piety.

I’m fine as long as that lack-witted brother of mine stays out of my business. And you?

Barely a minute passed before her reply.

Trying to convince that lack-witted brother of yours to stay out of your business. Not having much luck as of yet. I love you.

My heart melted a little.

She gave love so easily, and I didn’t know how to handle that.

Nobody I knew had ever given love that easily. Not since my parents. Not my uncle. Not even Kaleb.

I knew he loved me, but lately, it felt like his love came with conditions. Do this, or else…be this, or else.

A face flickered in my mind, and I shoved it aside. “No. That’s not love. Not. Not. Not.”

It was disturbing that I’d even found myself considering such a thing, scary. I wasn’t in love with him. I’d never be in love with him. That would be like just ripping my own heart out and handing it over to somebody and saying, Smash this, please. I don’t need it!

Jacen had made it clear that while he liked me, he had no serious feelings toward me. I needed to remember that. We’d enjoyed each other physically, and we got along well enough otherwise. That was it.

I had books to find, then an afternoon at work, and an evening of hunting for a needle in a haystack—or, rather, Daytin in a huge city. I didn’t have time for distractions. Still, when I picked up my book list and saw the paper sitting underneath it, I couldn’t help but think back to a couple weeks ago when I’d gotten that hard-fought-for A.

“Have you ever considered art therapy as a career?”

My psych teacher passed my paper back to me, her expression curious as she waited for an answer.

“I…no,” I said, startled. “I’m planning to work at a clinic. I already have a part-time job there as a receptionist, and there’s a job waiting for me once I graduate. It’s what I want to do.”

“But is it what you’re called to do?” She tapped the paper I’d done on modern methods of therapy. Some had used pet therapy, music therapy—I’d chosen art. “You truly have a unique grasp of the subject matter. And…you’re talented.”

“I’m good where I am.”

Changing my major would mean extending my time in school, and that would mean delaying the time it would take to prove to all of them that they hadn’t wasted their time on me. And that I could make up my mind about something and stick with it. I needed them to see that I could do something good with my life.

But is it what you were called to do? Her words echoed through my head, taunting me. I yanked my car door open almost viciously, wishing there was a way to drown it out. But there wasn’t.

The only thing that was going to silence the need was keeping myself busy.

* * *

“Look, sugar, she ain’t here. Somebody told her she could probably hit some people up at the club strip downtown. Go look there…” The big man with a protruding brow and small, beady eyes looked me up and down. “And stay the fuck outta here unless you want to get what’s coming to you.”

I almost told him to kiss my ass.

But I wasn’t there to fight.

One of the clients at the clinic had mentioned that he used to get his fixes near here. I’d come here on a whim, hoping to find something and I had. Trouble. A lot of it.

He wasn’t the first guy who’d suggested that if I kept loitering in this part of the city, I was going to end up biting off more than I chew. One had offered me something to bite on. I’d told him I’d bite it off and left. He hadn’t said anything else.

But this one…if I said something remotely sounding of innuendo, he’d take me up on it. I’d learned to spot the difference.

Since I didn’t want to end up in a world of hurt, or worse, I just nodded and left.

The club strip. Where was the club strip? I wasn’t exactly into the party scene here in LA, so I had no idea where that was.

I had to google it and ended up gaping at the screen when one of the names practically leaped at me from the screen. Flames Down Under. They were doing a series of guest shows.

And the first one was tonight.

Jacen’s face featured prominently on the poster, and I wondered if Daytin might see it, if she’d feel drawn to him. Was she drunk? High? Safe?

Mind made up, I started the car and programmed the GPS on my phone. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do tonight.

* * *

“Yeah, she’s been here.” The bouncer at the door nodded, sighing as he passed the picture back to me. “One of the boys took her under his wing, told the kitchen to get her some food. It’s against policy—I told him that, but he said he didn’t care about policy when there was a hungry girl around ready to sleep with anybody just to get some money. Lord knows she’d probably use any money she had to shoot up before she even thought about food. Probably why he made she sure ate before she left. All she wanted was to find herself a quick…” He paused, suddenly looking self-conscious. “Excuse miss, but that’s the way of it. She’s doing what she thinks she’s gotta.”

“It’s okay,” I said, hoping he couldn’t see right through me. There he was getting embarrassed to be talking about Daytin probably be a hooker and me…well, me being what I was. It was times like this I felt like a fraud, but I pushed all that aside. This wasn’t about me. Almost afraid to ask, I said, “This guy…was he…”

“He wasn’t after her, if that’s what you’re thinking. He just wanted to help her. Offered to take her to the nearest shelter though and she freaked out.” The big guy shrugged. “I don’t know what ended up happening with her.”

Frustration and renewed panic tried to set their teeth in me, but I fought them down and forced a smile. “Look, she’s a friend of mine. I’m trying to get her into rehab. Can I talk to the guy who was with her? Please?”

“Can’t.” He gave me a smile that looked genuinely sorry. “He’s already gone. He had the earlier show and beat it out of here as soon as he was done. I don’t remember his name, but he’s the lead of that new Aussie show.” He nodded at something behind me. “That guy there. He’ll be back tomorrow. Maybe if you can get here about five, before we open, I’ll get you in for a couple of minutes with him. But you can’t go getting me in trouble, hear?”

Already knowing who I was going to see, I turned. The lead of that new Aussie show. Of course, Daytin had come to find him. And of course, he’d taken care of her. Some part of me had known that from the moment I’d seen the advertisement for the show. He made me feel safe, and I was sure he did the same for her.

I stared at Jacen’s artistically captured image, eyes half closed, mouth partially open—an erotically charged expression if ever there was one. My voice was surprisingly steady as I said, “That…that won’t be necessary, actually. I already know him.”

I flagged down a cab and gave the address even as my mind spun. Was it kismet that had landed me on his door again, or just coincidence? After all, Daytin could have done the same thing I had, been looking for something and stumbled across a familiar face. She could have decided to take one more shot at getting Jacen to sleep with her, or figured he’d be an easy mark for some free cash because he wouldn’t have sex with her. Or it could have simply been a coincidence as she’d made her way through the club scene.

Or maybe, just maybe, she’d chosen to go to Jacen because deep down, she wanted to get clean.

I didn’t have answers for any of that, but I knew that the two of us seemed to keep crashing into each other’s orbit, and I shouldn’t just blow that off.

I’d barely knocked on his door before he opened it. Without me saying a word, he grabbed my hand and yanked me inside. I might have yelped, but his mouth crushed down on mine before I could do much of anything. I acted on instinct – an instinct I had with no one but him – and curled my arms around his neck. His tongue slid between my lips and I met it with a moan.

Damn, he could kiss.

Two seconds later, his hands gripped my shoulders and moved us apart. “What in the hell are you doing here?” he demanded.

Blinking and more than a little dazed, I stared at him and tried to remember how to speak. “The, um, bouncer. He said you’d seen Daytin. I wanted to talk to you about her.”

His face went solemn, then to my surprise, he turned me around. The sight of Daytin lying asleep on the couch hit me like a ton of bricks.