It was still morning by the time Jacen got into the shower and I managed to slip out of the hotel room without having the awkward ‘morning after’ conversation. I felt a bit guilty for faking sleep so I wouldn’t have to try to figure out what to say, but I told myself I’d apologize when I got back to the room tonight. He’d understand that I was just anxious to find Daytin.

Even though it wasn’t yet noon, the sun burned hot on my shoulders, promising a scorching introduction to June. I strolled to the corner, trying to remember the way the public transportation system worked. I couldn’t claim that I’d ever known it like the back of my hand, but I’d gotten along.

Now, moving with the working stiffs who lived in Vegas, I found myself a little bemused. I’d always found daytime here odd. As one of the many who’d lived in the Nevada night, daytime had felt so weird, and it still did.

Too many people sleeping off the gin and tonics, jack and cokes, their wins and losses, having drunken dreams of just one more hand leading to the big time.

Glancing to the hills that bordered the city, I found myself thinking about one of my former regulars.

He’d been a sweet, lonely old guy, and one of the few I remembered who I hadn’t outright despised. For some reason, he’d liked me enough to pay Stefano’s ‘regulars’ fee, and we’d had a standing date on Sunday afternoons. If Stefano had known the truth about what the two of us had done, he would have pissed himself laughing.

The old guy’s name had been Liam, born in Adelaide, Australia, and he’d picked me because I’d reminded him of home. And because I hadn’t been a bitch when he’d asked if we could just walk around the city.

That was what we’d done.

We’d walked.

He’d talked.

He’d told me about his life, and the city where he’d grown up, and the city he now called home. He particularly loved history.

One of the stories he’d told me had to do with the silver industry in Nevada. I’d never known that so many people had come to this place in the eighteen-hundreds because of silver. They’d come looking to make it rich, just like a lot of people did now when they came to Vegas.

While some people did hit it rich, most had built their lives on fantasy.

I’d done it too, built my life on highs and hallucinations and other shit that wasn’t real.

What was real was what I saw now. The people going to jobs had vanished into their various place of employment, and the majority of those left on the streets were the ones who were returning home from their jobs. Some made honest livings, but most were like I had been. They were easy to spot if you knew what to look for. They looked dull and tired, an echo of the city itself, a reflection of what I felt too.

Dull, tired, scraped out and raw. So empty inside it hurt.

And hopeless, too.

That feeling of hopelessness grew as I passed by face after unfamiliar face, many of whom wore the same worn-down expression I’d seen in the mirror when I’d lived here.

Too many young girls were forced into this. Boys too. Some were runaways, some drug addicts like I had been. Maybe some of them had chosen it because it seemed like the only way to survive, and they did enjoy the thrill of it. Some pretended that it was all okay, that they enjoyed giving their bodies to the assholes who paid ten for a hand, twenty for a mouth.

But it didn’t matter how they’d gotten to this point, what mistakes they’d made. Nobody deserved this life.

My phone rang for the fourth time in the past hour, but I silenced it, already aware of who it was. If he called again, I just might cave and answer. It was a miracle I’d held out this long.

The thought of hearing Jacen’s familiar, sexy as hell, velvet voice in my ear had me shoving my phone back into my pocket before I could give in to temptation.

Of course, Kaleb had called twice as many times in the past eighteen hours, and while I did miss him, I wasn’t tempted to answer his call. He was being all brotherly, checking up on me and shit. I didn’t think he’d respond very well to finding out that I’d had our good old friend taking care of me in a very personal way last night.

Jacen was…well, I didn’t know if he was checking up on me, worrying about me, or wasn’t able to stop thinking about me. What I did know was that I’d slept with him, and it had been the most excellent sex of my life.

Then, while the sheets had still been warm from him, I’d gotten up and run away. Just fantastic.

Before I could start going back over every detail for the hundredth time, my phone started to buzz in the next moment. I didn’t even have to hear three bars from the tune I’d programmed in to know who it was.

It was Daytin.

* * *

She was a mess and my heart broke when I saw her. Her auburn hair was cut shorter than I remembered and was dull, dry. Her nut-brown eyes were glassy and unfocused, though I could tell she was trying. She was thinner than ever, even more than when she’d been with Stefano, and she’d been delicate looking even then. Daytin was one of those girls that made some women gossip, Oh, you know she’s anorexic, being that skinny, and shit like that.

I’d heard it myself plenty, even when I hadn’t been using, but I’d never been as petite as her.

I’d watched the poor thing gorge when she wasn’t high, trying to put weight on in a desperate attempt to get some curves. It had never worked, and in her more maudlin moments, she’d complained about how she was tired of tricks who wanted her to pretend to be years younger than her actual age. Which, if she’d told me the truth when we’d first met three years ago, she’d just turned eighteen.

Now she looked like she’d lost more weight she couldn’t afford to lose. At only an inch taller than me, she probably weighed a good twenty pounds less.

She gave me a wide-eyed look, her mouth curving into a smile that lingered only a moment before it wobbled and fell away. “You look great.” Her voice was rough and raw, as if she’d swallowed broken glass. “Like some kind of rich bitch or something.”

I couldn’t even answer her, a rush of emotion choking me. If I said anything, my voice might crack, and that was only if I could get something out in the first place.

So instead I just wrapped her in my arms and held her.

She clung to me, shoulders trembling. “I’m a mess, Cam.”

“We all are, honey.”

* * *

The motel where she’d been staying was barely worthy of the name. I’d heard of the place before, and knowing she’d been staying here was enough to make me want to vomit.

I’d given her a worried look when she’d told the cab driver the address, but she’d refused to so much as glance at me until we’d climbed out of the car, and since then, it had just been quick, furtive looks.

Now, as the hotel manager stood in the doorway, jingling the change he had in one pocket and eying Daytin with a far too-intimate smirk, I decided I couldn’t wait for her to start talking.

I caught her arm and pulled her over the bathroom under the pretense of asking for some girl stuff.

The manager went white, then red.

Typical.

Men could be as vulgar as they wanted, use all the crude words out there for women’s body parts they wanted, but most of them, so much as hint at having something as normal as a period and they panicked.

“I don’t have any tampons, Cam,” Daytin said, her voice faint.

Holding onto her elbow so she didn’t wander back out there, I shook her a little. “Honey, has he been…” I hesitated, surprised by how uncomfortable I was at the thought of asking what I needed to ask.

Apparently, it surprised Daytin, too, because she blinked up at me. After all the humiliating, degrading things I’d seen and done, it should’ve been simple enough to ask if he’d been demanding sex in exchange for letting her stay here, but I couldn’t get the words out.

“Has he…”

She sighed, tongue darting out to lick her cracked lips in a gesture I recognized all too well. She’d start scratching her arms soon if she didn’t get a fix.

“He’s just a guy, Camry. We’ve fucked a few times, and he gives me this room cheap. He’s taking care of me. Says he’ll do an even better job if I let him.”

I was sure he would. Keep her doped up with whatever shit he could find and let her have the room...as long as she fucked whoever he sent to see her.

But I didn’t say any of this. She knew it, even if she was trying to pretend she didn’t. Just like I’d always known deep down that Stefano hadn’t given a shit about me.

“I guess we’ll just have to see if my care is as good as his,” I said lightly, hooking my arm through hers. “Now, let’s get you taken care of.”

We were gone in less than ten minutes.

The jackass hotel clerk watched from behind his counter as Daytin and I walked by, but I didn’t let it get to me as I helped Daytin into the back of the cab. Her eyes looked a bit clearer, but she was chewing on her bottom lip now, her fingers skittering down her arms, and I knew had to get her back to my room before the nasty withdrawal stuff started.

“If you want, there’s a shelter I can take you to,” the cabbie offered.

“No.” I smiled at him as I shook my head. “I’ll take care of her.”

“If you’re sure. Where to, then?”

I gave him the address and then leaned back against the seat, wrapping one arm around Daytin’s shoulders as the driver pulled out of the parking lot. She was shaking hard enough to make my teeth chatter, and I sent up a quick prayer that I’d get her to my room before she puked.

We made it out of the cab, but as I tried to get her up the stairs, she began to lean more and more heavily on me, forcing me to split my focus between helping her and trying to think of something to say to Jacen when he asked. I mean, I was showing up with a girl who was clearly strung out. He was going to have questions.

Except…he wasn’t there.

I pushed down the stab of hurt that went through me at his absence. I hadn’t come here to meet with him, and he’d promised me nothing. He’d done more than I’d asked, and I’d had no expectations.

Or, at least, I shouldn’t have.

“I’m going to be sick,” Daytin said, her voice ragged.

“Okay. Okay.” I helped her into the bathroom, putting Jacen out of my head.

Clearly, he’d already done the same with me.