Two Years Later

 

“I swear that boy is an angel,” Nora said when Ella came to collect Max after work. “We went to that baby and me group today at the rec centre, and all the other kids were fighting and crying. Max just played by himself and didn’t get involved in the commotion at all. Everyone said just how good he was.”

“Where is he now?” Ella asked.

“He is out in the backyard with your dad,” Nora replied as she continued preparing dinner. “You’re going to stay for something to eat, aren’t you?”

“Sure,” Ella said absentmindedly as she walked to the window and looked out at her son with her dad. “We would love to.”

She watched Max as he kneeled next to her father while they worked on the flower bed just like she used to do when she was little. That’s where she got her love of flowers from. Her father was telling him how to do something as Max just continued to dig a hole in the flower bed. It was hard to believe that in just over one weeks’ time, Max would turn two.

Ella couldn’t believe how quickly he was growing. He was ahead of his age group in most things, and he amazed Ella every day. Ella’s only real concern was Max still didn’t talk much. He was an extremely quiet and shy little boy, and sometimes that worried Ella. He didn’t really interact with other kids and preferred his own company. She wondered if not having a father had somehow impacted on Max.

“Did you remember to call the bakery about the cake?” Nora asked as she pulled Ella from her thoughts.

“I did,” Ella said as she turned to her mom and smiled. “Everything is all sorted. Are you sure you’re okay with having the party here?”

“Of course,” Nora replied. “It will be lovely for Max to have all his friends here for his birthday. Your dad said that he has confirmed the clown too. One of the boy’s from the station said that they used him for his daughter’s birthday and the kids loved him.”

Suddenly there was a loud scream from the backyard and Ella immediately hurried to the door.

“What’s happened?” Ella asked as she hurried down the back garden to where Max was with her dad.

“I have no idea,” Henry replied. “He was fine one minute, next thing he was screaming.”

When Ella reached Max, she turned him, so he was facing her.

“What’s happened, Baby?” She asked him as she tried to figure out if he was hurt. “What’s the matter?”

Max held out his hands and continued to scream. Ella looked down at his tiny little hands that were covered in dirt and tried to see what was wrong. She quickly brushed the dirt away, and the moment she did, Max stopped crying.

“Don’t you like the dirt on your hands?” Ella asked when she realised there was nothing else wrong with her son.

“No!” He shouted as he pulled his hands free, then turned back to his little shovel and continued to dig in the flower bed.

“I guess he’s okay,” Henry said with a laugh as he leaned over and kissed his daughter on the cheek. “Hi, Sweetheart. How was your day?”

“Okay,” Ella said as she watched Max. She was so confused by his behaviour sometimes that it worried her. “We were busy today, which I know is good, but I am tired.”

“Why don’t you and Max stay the night,” Henry suggested. “You look tired. Mom and I could take care of Max, then maybe you could get some rest.”

“I’m okay, Dad,” Ella smiled. “Thanks for the offer, though, but I don’t have Max’s things with me, and you know what he is like about his routine.”

“He’s a funny little man,” Henry laughed. “He knows what he likes; that’s for sure.”

“Dinner is ready,” Nora called from the house.

“Come on, Max,” Ella said as she walked towards her son. “Grandma has dinner ready; we need to clean up.”

She took Max by the hand and led him into the house to wash his hands for dinner.

“Did you go to play with the other boys and girls today,” Ella asked Max as she washed his hands. He didn’t respond. “Did you have fun?” Again there was no response.

Ella sighed. She wondered would her son ever try and talk to her. If she was honest, she was worried about him. There was something wrong, Ella knew it in her heart, but she had no idea what.

“I was talking to a woman in the shop today,” Ella said as they all sat around the dinner table. “She had a little girl that wasn’t much older than Max with her. The little girl was full of chat, talking about the flowers and then told me all about her princess doll. The woman told me that she only started to talk recently. They had discovered that her hearing was bad and that she needed grommets inserted in her ears. Once they did that, she started to talk.”

“That’s wonderful,” Nora said as she looked up at Ella and smiled.

“I was thinking,” Ella continued. “I’m going to take Max to see Doctor Waters next week. I want him to check his hearing. Maybe it will help him communicate more.”

“There is nothing wrong with his hearing,” Henry said as he looked over at Max and smiled. “He’s just the strong, silent type. When he’s ready to talk, he will.”

“I know,” Ella shrugged. “Still, I would like to have him checked out all the same.”

“But he’s fine,” Henry insisted. “Aren’t you, Buddy?”

“If Ella wants him checked over,” Nora said, giving her husband the same look she always gave him when he needed to shut up, and Ella couldn’t help but smile. “Then that’s what she should do. She’s his mother.”

Before Henry could respond, the front door opened and Ben’s voice echoed through the house.

“I’m starving,” he called out as he made his way down the hall. “I hope Ella has left some food for me.”

“Shut up, Ass,” Ella said and laughed as her brother appeared in the doorway. She was close to both her brother’s, but she and Ben were closest. “Haven’t you learned how to feed yourself yet?”

“And why would I do that?” Ben asked as he made his way straight to the kitchen cupboard and grabbed a plate before he returned to the table and sat down next to Max. “Hey, Buddy. You all set for your big birthday?”

Max didn’t even look up from his plate, and Ella sighed with disappointment.

“Wow, the food must be good, huh?” Ben said as he reached out and picked up a spoon from the serving dish in the centre of the table.

Ella froze when she spotted Ben giving Nora a strange look and Nora quickly shuck her head.

“What?” Ella asked as she set her knife and fork down. “What was that look?”

“What look?” Henry asked as he looked up at his daughter.

“Ben gave Mom a strange look,” Ella explained, and Henry looked from Ella to Ben, and then to his wife.

“There was no look,” Nora quickly said, but Ella knew she was lying. She always knew when her mother was lying.

“What’s going on?” Ella asked as she set her napkin down too. “And don’t tell me, nothing, because I know you two. I want to know what that look was about.”

“Okay,” Ben said as he too set down his fork. “I’ve been seeing this girl. She’s a school teacher. And I was telling her about Max, about how he doesn’t talk much.”

“You were discussing my child with a stranger,” Ella replied as suddenly she felt annoyed.

“No,” Ben quickly replied. “It wasn’t like that. I was just telling her I had a nephew, and how awesome he was, but then I mentioned the talking thing.”

“And did you tell her that I was stupid enough to get knocked up by some asshole that doesn’t want to know us too?” Ella replied angrily.

“Ella, Sweetheart,” Nora said as she tried to calm her daughter down. “You know none of us think like that.”

“Ella,” Ben said as he looked a little hurt by her words. “You know I adore you and Max more than anything else in this world.”

“So tell me,” Ella said as she tried to remain calm. “What did she say about my son? What was the look for?”

“Jules said that maybe you should have him tested,” Ben said and swallowed hard. “That maybe he could be on the Autistic Spectrum.”

Ella didn’t reply. She couldn’t find the words. It was like time had stopped, and all she could hear was her own heartbeat. She couldn’t believe Ben had said her inner most fears, out loud.

“She thinks he could be Autistic?” Ella said as her voice cracked with unshed tears.

“That’s crap,” Henry said angrily as he too, set his knife and fork down, then stood up. “There is nothing wrong with my grandson. You can tell your friend she doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about.”

Ben stared at Ella, and she knew he didn’t know what to say or do next.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with him?” Ella finally asked as she looked over at her mother.

“Ella, you know I love Max as if he were my own baby,” Nora said. “He is such a sweet, good boy…”

“But there’s something wrong,” Ella finished her mother’s thought.

“Ella,” Ben finally said. “All I’m saying is, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to check.”

“I think I need to go home,” Ella said as she stood up suddenly.

“Ella, Sweetheart, please don’t leave like this,” Nora said as she stood up too.

“I just need time to think, Mom,” Ella said as she picked Max up from his chair and he started to scream and kick out. “Everything is okay.”

“You’re upset,” her mother pushed as she followed her to the hallway. “And so is Max. Please.”

“I just want some time alone,” Ella said as she slipped on a hysterical Max’s jacket, then picked him up again. “I will call you tomorrow.”

“Ella,” Ben said as he too followed her towards the door. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was only trying to help.”

“It’s okay, Ben,” Ella said as she grabbed her car keys from the hall table. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

Without saying another word, she hurried out the door, the whole time Max was screaming in her arms. Once she had him in his car seat, she climbed into the driver’s seat and reversed out of the garden.

It wasn’t until Ella reached her apartment building, that she even realised she was crying. She had no idea why she was so upset. Ben had only said out loud what she had feared deep inside her for months now. She had no idea what she was going to do next.

Ella was surprised to see her father standing in front of her when she opened her apartment door. It had been two days since she had left her parent’s house after her disagreement with Ben, and she still hadn’t talked to him or her mother.

She had called in sick to work, the day after the dinner and asked Carly to work an extra couple of shifts. Ella had considered calling her mother to let her know she wouldn’t be dropping Max off, but she couldn’t face talking to her, so she sent her a text message instead, then powered off her phone.

“Dad,” Ella said when she saw Henry standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see if you were okay,” Henry said as he walked into her apartment. “Your mother’s worried sick about you. She knows she and Ben upset you, and she thinks you are still angry with her.”

“I’m not angry with her,” Ella sighed. “I’m not anything.”

“Then why are you hiding away here?” Henry asked as he reached the living room and looked around. “Where is Max?”

“He’s napping,” Ella replied as she watched her father closely. “He hasn’t been sleeping. He is just having tantrum after tantrum. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him.”

“He can sense something is wrong,” Henry sighed as he turned to his daughter. “He is missing his routine. He doesn’t want to be cooped up here in this apartment.”

“Dad, if you came here to fight with me,” Ella said as she walked to the sofa and sat down. “I wish you would just get it over and done with because I promise you, there is nothing you can say, that I haven’t already said to myself.”

“You think I came to fight with you?” Henry asked, surprised by his daughter’s remark. “I came here because I was worried about you too. Locking yourself away here is not the answer to anything.”

“I just needed some time to think,” Ella sighed as her father sat down across from her.

“This is about what Ben and your mother said the other night,” Henry said as he gave Ella a knowing look. “Isn’t it?”

“I just needed a little space,” Ella shrugged, unable to look up at her dad.

“Well I know your mom and Ben were only trying to help,” Henry sighed. “But you shouldn’t take what they said seriously.”

“Shouldn’t I?” Ella asked as she finally looked up at her father and gave him a worried look. “What if they’re right?”

“Do you think they are?” Henry asked.

“Maybe,” Ella said as hot tears suddenly stung her eyes. “I mean, he still isn’t talking. He doesn’t mix well with other children, and he can be so fussy. He likes things a certain way and freaks out if they aren’t right. The older he gets, the more noticeable it is becoming.”

“Then what do you want me to do?” Henry asked as he sat forward in his seat and looked Ella straight in the eyes.

“Will you come with me?” Ella asked as she gave her father a pleading look. “When I take him to get some answers.”

“I will go wherever you need me to go,” Henry smiled as he reached out and gave her hand a squeeze.

“What if there is something wrong with him?” She asked as the tears finally broke free and trickled down her cheek.

“Then we will get him the best help that money can buy,” Henry promised his daughter.

“Is this my fault?” She sobbed softly. “Did I do something wrong?”

“You’re an amazing mother, Ella,” Henry said as he hugged his daughter tightly. “There is nothing more you could have done for that little boy.”

“Then why does it feel like I have failed him?” She said, breaking down completely. Henry didn’t reply, he just held her tightly.

“I’m scared,” Ella said as she looked down at her son sitting on her lap, holding a toy dog in his hand. It was his favourite thing in the world since he was a baby, and he took it everywhere.

“No matter what the specialist says,” Henry said as he reached over and took her hand. “Your mom, and I will be with you every step of the way. Max is very loved, and that’s all that matters.”

Before Ella could reply, the door to the office they were sitting in, opened and Doctor Silverman walked into the room. She took her seat behind the desk in front of Ella and her father and gave them a smile.

Doctor Silverman had been the specialist that Max’s pediatrician, Doctor Waters had referred Max to.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” the doctor said as she opened the file that was sitting on the desk in front of her. “I know you’re keen to get the results of our assessment, so I won’t delay any further.”

She flicked through the file until she found what she was looking for, then she looked up and smiled at Ella again.

“As you know,” she said as she looked from Ella to Henry and back to Ella again. “We carried out every test and assessment we could to get the clearest picture of what is going on with Max, and we can confirm that Max does appear to be on the Autism spectrum.”

“Okay?” Ella said as she felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She tried to swallow the lump of grief that was threatening to choke her. She was not going to cry.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear and that it’s scary,” the doctor continued. “But I can assure you; we will do everything we can to help you and Max. I don’t want you to give up on him. It’s impossible to predict the course of an autism spectrum disorder. I don’t want you to jump to conclusions about what life is going to be like. People with autism have an entire lifetime to grow and develop their abilities, just like everyone else and we will do everything we can to make life easier for you, and more importantly easier for Max.”

“Okay,” Ella said as she blinked back the tears that were burning her eyes and kissed Max’s head. She thought she was going to be sick. Was this really happening?

The doctor spoke more about making a plan for Max, and of all the different therapies that there was that would benefit Max, but Ella didn’t hear a word.

All she could think was, what had she done that was so wrong that this would happen to her son? Was this all her fault? Was there something she could have done differently while she was pregnant, or when Max was a baby that would have changed how things were now?

Ella felt like her world was completely unravelling. Suddenly, she thought of Nate and wished he was here with her, so she wouldn’t have to face this on her own.