Ella took a deep breath before she pressed Nina’s door bell.

What the fuck are you doing? She asked herself as she gripped the bottle of wine she was holding tighter and waited for Nina to open the door.

“Hi,” Nina said in her usual chirpy voice when she opened the door. She quickly stepped back to let Ella in to her home. “Please, come in.”

Ella stepped into the hallway and took in her surroundings. This was Nate’s home. Over the years, she had wondered where he was and what his life was like. Now she knew.

The house was beautiful, warm and welcoming. It looked like the home of a happy family, and this made Ella feel sick. Was she about to destroy this family’s world?

“You have a beautiful home,” Ella said when she realised Nina was watching her. Then she remembered she was holding the bottle of wine. She held it out to Nina. “I brought this.”

“Thank you,” Nina said as took the bottle, before she turned and led her through to the kitchen. “I will put it in the chiller. Please, make yourself at home.”

Ella walked into the kitchen, and her stomach felt sick. As she took a seat at the big oak table, she spotted framed photographs lining the walls. They were different snapshots of Nina and Nate with their two girls. The eldest of the two girls looked very like Nina. Same colour hair, same piercing blue eyes, and the same happy smile. The younger girl was like a carbon copy of Nate. Ella could tell from the photographs that she was shyer than her sister and that she was very much a daddy’s girl.

The one other thing Ella notice was that she and Max were very alike. They had the same dark grey eyes and the same button nose. The resemblance was almost scary.

“How old are your girls again?” Ella asked when she realised Nina was watching her once again. 

“Cassie is twelve,” she replied, and she set a glass of wine down in front of Ella, then took the seat next to her. “And Shelby is seven.”

“They are beautiful girls,” Ella said as she reached out and took the glass that Nina had set in front of her. “Thank you.”

“They are good girls, mostly,” Nina said with a half-smile. “Shelby is the quiet one. She is very like Nathan. As deep as the ocean. You never really know what’s going on in their minds.”

“And Cassie?” Ella asked as she looked back up at the photo of the other girl.

“Oh Cassie holds nothing back,” Nina sighed and took a long sip of her wine. “Right now her favourite topic is how everything that is wrong in this house, is my fault.”

“I guess most teenagers think that of their parents,” Ella offered, but she sensed that this was more than just the usual teenage troubles.

“She is angry at me because of how things are between Nathan and I,” Nina said, and the sadness in her voice was palpable.

“I see,” Ella replied feeling uncomfortable with how this conversation was going.

“See,” Nina said as she knocked back her glass of wine and poured another. “We may look like the perfect family, but we are far from it. We’re just really good at pretending.”

Ella didn’t want to hear this. She didn’t want to know all of Nate’s private business. This was nothing to do with her.

“I’m sure things aren’t as bad as they seem,” Ella said, not really knowing what else she should say. “Every couple goes through rough patches.”

“We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore,” Nina replied with a sarcastic laugh. “Do you know how long it’s been since we had sex? I know the only reason Nathan is here is that he loves the girls. The worst part is, it’s all my fault.”

Ella didn’t know what to say. She had so many thoughts running through her head at that exact moment, but the loudest one was, what the hell am I doing here?

“Truth is, I destroyed our marriage a few years ago,” Nina continued as she gulped back her wine. “I made a mistake, and Nathan never forgave me.”

“He’s still here, isn’t he,” Ella offered, as she tried her best to make Nina feel better. “Surely that has to count for something.”

“He isn’t here for me,” Nina sighed. “He can barely look at me, and it’s just getting worse. The last few days, he has been so disconnected. It feels like he is ready to bite my head off over the slightest thing.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Ella said, surprised to hear about this side of Nate. Not that she knew him that well. The truth was, she barely knew him at all.

The night they spent together had been amazing, but it was just one night. How much could you really learn about someone in one night?

“You have no idea,” Nina said as she knocked back the rest of her wine once again. She then stood up and wobbled slightly, clearly affected by the wine she was consuming at a rapid rate. She grabbed the bottle from the table and disappeared out the kitchen door.

“Nina,” Ella said as she followed her. “Maybe I should make us some coffee?”

“Why,” Nina laughed as Ella joined her in the living room. She walked to a small cabinet in the corner of the room, set down the almost empty wine bottle and opened the cabinet door. She bent down and pulled out a bottle of vodka. “We need a proper drink. We should celebrate.”

She took two crystal tumblers from the cabinet and poured two large drinks. She walked towards Ella and handed her a glass.

“To the end of my marriage,” Nina said as she raised her glass, then knocked back the vodka in one go.

“Nina, I am not going to stand here and pretend I know what you’re going through,” Ella said as she set the glass she was holding down on the end table next to the sofa. “But I do know that this isn’t the answer.”

“Then what is?” Nina slurred as she tried to focus on Ella. “Because I don’t know anymore. I walked away from a man I loved, to try and save my marriage, and my husband hates me. He hates me because I got rid of our baby, and he is never going to forgive me for that.”

Ella had no idea how to respond to that. She stared at Nina for a moment as she tried to find the right answer to give her.

“I think I’m going to be sick!” Nina exclaimed suddenly as she pushed past Ella and ran towards the stairs.

How do you get yourself into these situations? Ella thought to herself miserably as she walked back to the kitchen and opened all the cupboards until she found some glasses. When she did, she filled it with water for Nina.

As she walked towards the door, Ella spotted an empty wine bottle in the trash.

I guess that’s why she got drunk so quickly, Ella thought to herself as she headed for the stairs. She had started the party before I got here.

“Nina,” Ella called out as she reached the top of the stairs. She waited for a reply, but none came. Suddenly she heard a groan, so she followed the sound until she came to a bathroom, where she found Nina slumped over the toilet bowl. “Oh dear.”

Ella had lost count of the times she had to take care of Ruby like this, so she knew exactly what she needed to do with Nina.

“Here,” she said as she walked towards her with the glass of water. “You need to drink this.”

“I can’t,” she groaned as she dry heaved.

“It will help, I promise,” Ella said as she offered her the glass once again. Nina sighed as she reached out and took it from her. “You also need some painkillers; it will help head off the hangover that has your name on it.”

“They’re up there,” Nina said as she sipped her water and pointed to the medicine cabinet above the sink. Ella opened it and found a bottle of painkillers.

“You must think I’m pathetic,” Nina slurred as she sipped on the water. “I know I do.”

“I don’t,” Ella replied as she handed her two tablets. “I think you’re sad and a little lost, but I don’t think you will find the answer at the bottom of a bottle.”

“How did my life end up such a mess?” Nina cried as she buried her face in her hands. “I’m such a disaster.”

“We are all a little bit of a disaster,” Ella said with a sigh as she sat down on the floor next to Nina. “Anyone that tells you different is full of shit.”

“How do you do it?” Nina asked looking up at Ella.

“How do I do what?” Ella asked.

“How do you do it all on your own?” Nina asked. “I don’t know if I would be able to do it. Does that make me sound weak?”

“If you had to cope,” Ella said with a slight laugh. “You would.”

“What about Max’s dad?” Nina asked, and Ella froze. “Wouldn’t it be easier if he was in your life?”

“Maybe,” Ella replied honestly. “But it’s not an option, so I will just keep going the way I always do. It’s not as bad as it seems.”

“I think…” Nina said as she closed her eyes. “I think I need to lie down.”

Ella got up from the floor and helped Nina to her feet. She followed Nina’s lead to her bedroom, and when she reached it, she set her down on the bed. Pulling off her shoes, Ella pulled back the bed clothes and helped Nina into it.

She went back to the bathroom and got Nina’s glass of water. When she returned to the room, she set it down on her nightstand.

“Will you be okay?” She asked Nina, unsure if she should leave her or not.

“Yeah,” Nina replied sleepily, and Ella knew she was nearly gone.

Ella turned and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her.  She hurried down the stairs and opened the front door, but screamed when she found Nate on the other side, with his key in his hand.

“JESUS!” Ella exclaimed as her heart hammered in her chest. “You frightened the crap out of me.”

“Ella!” He exclaimed, looking just as startled as she was. “I’m sorry, I wasn't expecting to find you opening my front door. Is everything alright?”

“Not really,” Ella snapped, unsure why she was angry with Nate, but she was. “I had to put your wife to bed. She was very drunk and very upset, and I hate that I am caught in the middle of this.”

She pushed past Nate and made her way down towards the bush that divided their driveways.

“Ella!” Nate called as he quickly followed her down the driveway. “Wait! Please don’t walk away from me again.”

“I’m not walking away,” Ella shot back over her shoulder. “I’m going home.”

“Will you just stop and talk to me,” Nate said as he picked up his speed to catch up with her.

“Maybe you should go talk to your wife,” Ella said as she pulled her key from her pocket, and slipped it into the lock on her door.

“ELLA!” Nate shouted and stopped Ella dead in her tracks. She turned and looked at him. “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry Nina is dragging you into shit that is not your problem. I’m not happy that she is doing that and I will tell her that when she sobers up.”

“And what about Max?” Ella said, unable to bite her tongue anymore. “Will you tell her about him too?”

“I will tell her,” Nate insisted. “I will; it’s just complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Ella sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, as she attempted to relieve the sudden tension headache she had. “Maybe we should just leave well enough alone.”

“I don’t want to leave well enough alone!” Nate exclaimed. “I’m his father, and I want to be part of his life.”

“I can’t handle this right now,” Ella said, feeling suddenly drained. “Go home, Nate.”

She turned and walked into her house and tried to close the door behind her.

“Ella, please,” Nate said as he put his hand against the door, stopping her from closing it. “I know this whole situation is fucked up. I know that. And I know I’ve no right to ask you for anything, but I’m asking you this, please don’t take Max away from me. I know he doesn’t have the first clue who I am, but I am still his dad. I promise, whatever else happens, I won’t let you or him down.”

“Nate,” Ella said as she looked up at him. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t want him in their lives, but she knew that was a lie. “I don’t know if I can be the person that destroys a family. This will kill Nina. She is already so broken; I don’t want to be the one to destroy her completely.”

“And what about what I want?” Nate whispered as he looked into Ella’s eyes. She was surprised to see the tears dance in his eyes. “I’ve already lost more than you could possibly imagine. I have lost the one person I think I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. Please don’t take my son from me too. I have already missed enough of his life. Please, Ella.”

Ella stepped closer to him and softly touched his face. She wished she could take all his hurt away. She wished she had the right words to make it all right for him.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers. She closed her eyes as his breath washed over her face. She longed for him to kiss her, for him to take her in his arms and promise that everything was going to be okay.

“Please,” he whispered.

“Okay,” Ella breathed without opening her eyes. She knew if she looked at him, she could not hold herself back. “Come by tomorrow. I think it’s time you met your son, properly.”

“Thank you,” he cried, as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close to him. He held her tight and Ella knew he was longing for some comfort.

She knew he longed to feel like he was wanted again, but she couldn’t give him that one thing that he needed. Even if she wanted and needed it too.

“You should go,” Ella said as she pulled herself free from his embrace. She didn’t let her eyes meet his because she knew that would be her undoing. “You need to check on Nina.”

“Okay,” Nate said as he reluctantly stepped back away from Ella. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“I will see you then,” Ella said as she finally looked up at Nate. She stepped back further and reached for her door. “Bye, Nate.”

She didn’t wait for him to reply before she closed the door. Once it was closed, she pressed her head to the door and prayed to God, for the strength to get through this nightmare.