“Oh, my fucking God!” Ruby exclaimed when Ella finished telling her about her run in with Nate. “I don’t know what to say.”

“What is there to say?” Ella sighed as she buried her face in her hands and rubbed her tired eyes. “It’s a freaking nightmare.”

“And have you seen him since?” Ruby asked.

“No,” Ella replied as she looked up at her friend. “It’s been two days, and I’ve heard nothing. And it’s driving me nuts. I feel so on edge all the time.”

“Maybe he has decided to leave well enough alone,” Ruby shrugged.

“Maybe,” Ella sighed as she looked at Max sitting on the floor of Ruby’s living room, lining up his little animals in a straight line and naming them, over and over. It was his favourite thing to do. He loved animals.

She felt so confused. Part of her was relieved that Nate hadn’t come to talk to her again, but part of her was both angry and sad for Max.

He was such a sweet boy. He deserved to be loved. He deserved to be wanted. If Nate didn’t want to be part of his life, then it was his loss, not theirs.

“What are you going to do?” Ruby asked, pulling Ella from her thoughts.

“Honestly,” Ella said as she looked at her friend. “I have no idea. This was supposed to be our new start. A home for Max and me, where we could be happy.”

“And you still can be!” Ruby exclaimed. “So, Nate lives next door. That doesn’t mean you have to let him ruin your life. If he wants to be a dick and pretend Max doesn’t exist, that is his loss.”

“And what if he doesn’t,” Ella asked. “What if he wants to be part of Max’s life? What will I tell my mom and dad? What would I tell Max? This is such a freaking mess, and if I am honest, I don’t know that I want him in his life. Max has his routines, and you know how hard it is to deal with new things. Moving into the house is already such a big thing for him, but now there is Nate too! It’s all just so complicated. I mean, he has another family. Where would Max even fit into his world? I don’t even know that he would. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?”

“I don’t know what to say, sweetie,” Ruby said as she blew out a deep breath and rubbed her bump.

“Are you okay?” Ella asked as she gave her friend a worried look.

“Yeah,” Ruby smiled, as she continued to rub her belly. “Just this little one kicking the hell out of me once again.”

“Can I feel?” Ella asked, and Ruby reached out, and took her hand, then placed it on her stomach. Ella waited for a few moments, then finally the baby moved once more. “Oh my God. That is so strong.”

Ella looked over at Max, who was still sitting on the floor, rearranging his little animals.

“Max,” she called out. “Come and say hello to Aunty Ruby’s baby.”

Max got up from the floor and walked towards Ella without even looking at her.

“Hello, baby,” he said, and Ella knew he had no idea who or what she was talking about.

“Give me your hand, Sweetheart,” Ella said as she reached out to Max and took hold of his little hand. She pressed it to Ruby’s bump and waited for the baby to move once again. When it finally did, Max pulled his hand away from Ruby. “It’s okay Max, that’s Aunty Ruby’s baby.”

He stared at Ruby’s belly for a moment, then suddenly leaned his head down to her bump, and pressed his ear to it. For a moment nothing happened, but then finally the baby kicked.

Max stood up and stared at the bump once more, as the two women watched him closely.

Finally, he leaned forward again, but this time he pressed his mouth to the bump.

“Hello, Baby,” Max said, then turned and walked back to his animals on the floor, and sat down and continued to play.

“If Nate doesn’t want to be part of that little boy’s life,” Ruby said as she smiled at Ella. “Then he is a fool, and it is totally his loss.

“Thanks, Ruby,” Ella said as she smiled gratefully at her friend.

“Did you have fun at Aunty Ruby’s today?” Ella asked as she tucked Max into bed that night. Max nodded absentmindedly as he pulled his little, stuffed dog to his face, and began to rub its ear against his cheek. Ella knew this meant Max was tired and wanted to sleep.

She reached out and turned out the light on his bedside table then stood up. She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

“Love you, little man,” Ella whispered before she turned and walked to the door. When she reached the door, she stood for a moment and watched her little boy lying in his bed, and her heart hurt. She wished more than anything she knew what was best for him.

Every decision she ever made when it came to Max, she questioned herself over and over again. She knew it was something most mothers did, but she felt that doing it alone for her son, made everything her responsibility. And with the way Max was, Ella always worried if he was happy, because he could never really show her if he was. That was hard for Ella sometimes. She wished that just once, he could tell her he loved her or got excited about something the way other kids did. The only real emotion he was ever really able to convey was when he was upset, and that always came in the form of a meltdown. Other than that, he just seemed lost in his own little world.

She sighed as she closed the door before she turned and headed back downstairs. When Ella reached the hallway, she picked up a box from the last few stacked against the hall wall and made her way into the living room.

One of the things Ella liked about the house when she came to view it was it needed very little decorating. All the walls were painted in mute tones, and that was exactly what Ella liked. The colours went well with her things so she knew that she and Max would be settled in very quickly. Which would be good for Max.

Ella took the box she was carrying to the sofa and sat down. Slowly she began to unpack its contents onto the coffee table in front of her. There were mostly ornaments and knick-knacks she had collected over the years in the box. Among the things, was a photo of Max when he was about six months old.

She lifted the photograph and stared at it closely. It surprised Ella just how like Nate, Max was. He had the same shape mouth and strong jawline. The same warmth in his eyes that Ella had fallen for the night she met Nate.

Why does he have to live next door? She thought to herself miserably. What did I do to deserve this?

As Ella stood up and walked to the fireplace with the photograph, the door bell sounded. She set the photograph down on the coffee table and went to answer the door.

When she reached the hall, she could see a tall figure through the bevelled glass panel on the door, and she knew it was Nate. She hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath before she opened the door.

“Hey,” Nate said nervously the moment his eyes met Ella’s. “Can we talk?”

“You’d better come in,” Ella sighed, and instantly a look of relief appeared on Nate’s worried face. She stepped back and let him into the hallway. As he stepped through the door and looked around. Ella watched him for a moment before she moved towards the kitchen and Nate followed her.

“Would you like a coffee?” She asked as she walked to the cupboard and took out some cups.

“A coffee would be great,” he replied with a smile as he slipped onto the high stool at the breakfast counter. “Your head is healing up nicely.”

Ella didn’t reply. As she made the coffee, she could feel Nate’s eyes on her, and it made her feel self-conscious.

“Here you go,” Ella said with a smile as she set the coffee down in front of Nate a couple of minutes later before she set her coffee down across from his. Ella chose to stand, deciding that having a counter between them was the safest way to go.

“Thanks,” Nate said as he picked up his coffee and took a sip. A nervous silence remained between them for a few minutes, both knowing there was so much to talk about, but neither knowing where to begin.

“So,” Nate said as he swallowed hard, and took a deep breath. “I think I owe you an explanation, and also, I have a feeling you may owe me one as well.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Ella replied with a sigh as she looked down at her coffee. “But you’re right; I do owe you one.”

“I’m Max’s father, right?” He blurted suddenly, surprising Ella with his directness. “I mean, the time scale is about right, and I am not blind, I can see the resemblance.”

“Yes,” Ella confirmed, as her heart raced. She couldn’t believe she was actually saying these words out loud. “He is your son.”

“I see,” he nodded as he watched Ella closely.

“Nate, it was never my intention to keep him from you,” Ella said feeling like she needed to explain further. She looked up, and her eyes met his. “When I found out I was pregnant, I had no idea where I could find you. All I knew about you was your name was Nate, and you were married.”

“And if you had known, would you have told me?” Nate asked, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Honestly?” Ella asked.

“Honestly,” Nate repeated.

“Probably not,” Ella replied truthfully. “You were married, and I didn’t want to be the one to destroy a marriage.”

“But I’m his father,” Nate said, as Ella could see hurt in his eyes. “I had a right to know, and he has a right to know me.”

“I know he does,” Ella nodded. “But things with Max are complicated. He isn’t like other kids. His world is different from yours and mine, and I need to protect him.”

“But I’m still his father,” Nate replied.

“Yes, you are,” Ella agreed, and she knew she needed to respect that fact. Neither of them said anything for a few moments and Ella had no idea what they would do now. Finally, Nate sighed and stood up.

“Ella,” he said as he walked around the breakfast counter, and stopped beside her. “What happened that night…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ella cut in as she looked up at him. “You don’t need to explain. It’s all history.”

“I want to,” Nate replied giving her a look that pulled at her very soul. “I need you to know the truth.”

“Okay,” Ella smiled. “Tell me what happened. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

“There was nothing to tell,” Nate replied, and his words surprised Ella. “The night I met you, as far as I was concerned, my marriage was over. I had moved out of the house about a month before I met you. I had found out that Nina had been having an affair. We tried to work through it, but it was just not working so I moved out.”

“I see,” Ella said, but she was unsure of what else to say.

“That morning, when I heard you leave,” Nate continued. “I tried to stop you. I had no idea why you left. But when I saw you on the elevator, I knew something big was wrong. I went back to the room to get dressed so I could follow you, that’s when I saw the ring, and I knew I had messed up. I tried everything I could, to find you. I wanted to tell you that what you thought about me wasn’t true. You were all I could think about. You still are.”

“I guess I should have given you a chance to explain,” Ella sighed as she tried her hardest not to react to his last remark. “But it doesn’t matter now. You’re back with your wife, and I will never destroy a family.”

“But it’s not that simple,” Nate insisted.

“Yes, it is,” Ella said as she stepped around Nate, and quickly put some space between them. “You have a wife; you have children. This is not something that can just be brushed away.”

“And what about Max?” Nate asked.

“You’re his dad,” Ella replied. “I will never deny you that but like I already said, Max is not like other kids, and I need to protect him. So, if you want to be part of his life, you better mean it. I won’t have him hurt. I will not do anything that will upset him. We need to do this right because you could destroy him if you let him down.”

“I would never let him down,” Nate replied. “He is my son.”

“And what about Nina?” Ella asked realising that what she thought would matter too. “How do you think she will handle this?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Nate replied truthfully. “But that doesn’t change anything. I’m his father, and I want to be part of his life if you will let me.”

“I would like that,” Ella replied with a nervous smile. If she was honest, she was beyond terrified to allow Nate into their lives, but she knew Max had a right to know his father, she needed to put him first. “But it has to be on my terms.”

“Thank you, Ella,” Nate beamed. “I promise you won’t regret this.”

Nate agreed that he should spend time with Max in Ella’s home until Max became used to him. He didn’t take to strangers easily, so Ella knew this would take some time.

She made them another coffee, and they took them into the living room where they sat and talked about Max.

As they talked, Ella realised just how sweet Nate truly was. He loved his daughters, and it was clear to Ella they were his world. He was excited about getting to know Max too. The one thing they never discussed was his wife, Nina, or their relationship in any way.

“Thank you for not shutting me out,” Nate said when Ella walked him to the door when he was leaving. “I know this has to be scary for you, but I promise I will not let you or Max down.”

Then he suddenly smiled, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“I have a son,” he said as his smile widened. “This means everything to me.”

Ella smiled at Nate, relieved that he seemed so happy to know about Max. He held her eyes for a moment, and Ella could feel her face burn with embarrassment.

She hated how drawn to him she felt. He was married, and she needed to remember that. Nate stepped closer to her and gave her another shy smile, then he slowly leaned forward and softly kissed her on the cheek.

“Good night, Ella,” he said, keeping his face only inches from hers. He held her eyes for a moment, and Ella held her breath. She thought he was going to kiss her, and the truth was, she wanted him to.

Finally, he closed his eyes and blew out a deep breath, then stepped back. He opened his eyes and gave her a sad smile, before he turned and walked down the pathway, towards the bushes that divided their front yards.

When Ella closed the door, she pressed her head against it and released a deep sigh.

She knew that she couldn’t have him, he was married, and she could never be the other woman. That’s what her head said; she just wished her heart would agree.