Presley

 

I pull into the student lot and take a deep breath. I can’t help the pride I feel as I take a moment to enjoy it before the only emotion I feel becomes fear. I did it. I actually did it; I defied my parents and drove 2,974 miles all alone. I don’t think I slept the first two nights, mostly out of fear since I’ve never traveled by myself, but the fear was worth it, because I’m here. It was mostly rundown industrial on the way here, but the old part of town is beautiful, the buildings are historical, and could be gorgeous with a little TLC. I drive into a very full lot, but finally find a parking space and I thank the Lord above that the campus seems nice and compact. I open my door and smell freedom…and wrinkle my nose because freedom doesn’t smell as good as Hartford. That doesn’t matter though, because it will all be worth it. It has to be.

My parents thought I had an aneurism when I said I was moving across country and leaving the only home I’ve ever known. Not to mention Ivy League. We fought for two weeks straight, with them going as far as staging an intervention. That’s what tipped the scales. I knew they would never relinquish control of me if I didn’t make this move now. So I left everything I’ve ever known: my family, school, and trust fund far behind. I’m done living someone else’s life. I’m ready to start my own story and maybe make a few mistakes along the way. Being perfect is exhausting, and living up to unachievable expectations is a never ending game.

I eye the backseat of my car and wonder how many trips it will take to get all my crap to my dorm. I look down at my information package and see that I’m in Grace Covell Hall. I can worry about getting most of my stuff later. I grab what I can carry and start walking in what I hope is the right direction. Compared to Yale the school is small, but the enormity of my situation is overwhelming. I try not looking like such a fish out of water, but the sympathetic smiles I’m getting tell me I’ve missed the mark.

After stopping once for directions from an understanding upperclassman, I finally find where I’m supposed to get my student ID. The buildings are beautiful brick and classically done. The campus is well taken care of, with plenty of trees and grass throughout. I could probably cover the whole campus in minutes, which will be a nice change from Yale, and Grace Covell isn’t far. When I reach it, I easily swipe myself in. As I make my way up the stairs, I am instantly assailed with the smell of musty gym socks. Welcome to communal living. I get to my door and freeze. I’m not sure if I should knock or just use my key. I mutter to myself how silly I’m being just standing here debating it when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

“You know this isn’t Hogwarts, it’s not going to open by muttering a spell. You actually have to turn the handle.” I jump about a foot and the tall blonde just laughs.

“Oh Lord, I almost peed myself.” This of course causes her to laugh harder.

“Not another roommate who isn’t housebroken! They promised me you’d be better trained than my last one.” She is friendly and I smile in relief.

“Hi, I’m Presley; I’m guessing you’re my roommate?”

“Sure am, looks like it’s your lucky day. I’m Jodi, by the way. Allow me.” I take a minute to study her. She’s absolutely beautiful with shoulder length blonde hair that falls in layers, and big brown eyes. She is tall and slender and doesn’t seem to have a shy bone in her body. I look around and take in the very neat surroundings. It’s very clean, a fact that surprises me being that it’s co-ed. There isn’t a piece of trash in sight and nothing lying out in the halls. I see a sign posted that makes me chuckle when it reads there is a $25 floor fine for every piece of trash found. I guess that explains the tidiness. My roommate fishes in her purse until she comes out with a key and opens the door with a flourish.

“After you, madam,” she says in a very proper voice, adding a very dramatic curtsy.

“Theatre major?” I ask with a grin.

“Bravo! Yes, theatre is one of my majors. Engineering is the other.”

“Wow, ambitious, aren’t you?” Jodi just shrugs like it’s no big deal, but I’ve heard how intense an engineering major can be.

“Engineering is my career, theatre is my passion, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have a double major. How about you?”

“Music therapy,” I say, waiting for the cringe I’ve grown accustomed to receiving, but it doesn’t come.

“Score! That sounds like a fun major actually; I can’t wait to hear about it.” Jodi is completely sincere and it almost brings me to tears.

“I wish my family was as understanding as you are.”

“Uh oh? You’re the square peg, huh?” At my blank look, she just smiles.

“Round hole, square peg…you know, you don’t really fit in with the rest.”

“Oh wow, now that you put it like that, even though it’s mildly depressing, you are right on. Both my parents, grandparents, and my older brother are all surgeons.”

“You will still be a doctor though, so you still fit. Not a Sesame Street song then…bummer.” I don’t bother to hide my eye roll.

“Do I even want to ask?” Now it’s her turn to roll her eyes like I’m the one talking in riddles.

“One of these things is not like the other; one of these things just doesn’t belong,” she sings out. “You might not be a surgeon, but will still be a doctor, so you fit in with the rest. Thus, not a Sesame Street song.”

“Don’t let my parents hear you say that. According to them, head doctors don’t count. Add in music and I might as well be a groupie in their eyes.”

“Yep, square peg. That blows. I’m guessing that’s why you transferred in. Where are you from, anyway?”

“Hartford, Connecticut.”

“Oh fancy. You come from the country club scene?”

“Unfortunately, but I never fit in there, really.”

“Then you are going to love Stockton!” she says, wiggling her eyebrows. “I hope you don’t mind, I took the bed to the left.”

I actually look around for the first time, noticing how small the room is. Good thing I didn’t bring much stuff with me. There are two beds and two small dressers. She managed to fit a small fridge and microwave in between the beds pushed up against the back wall.

“This is perfect,” I say, actually meaning it. I’m thrilled to have this brand-new start. I loved Yale, but there, I was an alumni’s daughter and anything but pre-med was unheard of. Here, nobody knows me and I like that just fine.

“I’m a bit eclectic, but I promise I’ll keep everything to my side…unless you want help decorating yours, that is.” She sounds so hopeful that I just smile.

“I think I’m good, but I’ll let you know.” Eclectic is putting it mildly. Every square inch of her side is covered in…something. She has posters of plays taped to the wall as well as charcoal hand drawn pictures of buildings. Dividing our space is a bright red curtain of beads that go down the center of the room. She has a red Chinese fan suspended over her bed and a white lava lamp in the corner.

“I think my side is going to be a bit boring compared to yours.”

“That’s okay; I can help you spice it up. You are into music, right?”

“It’s only my heart’s blood,” I say, picking up on her dramatic flair.

“Cool, let’s go find a vintage record store and we can get a few of your favorite albums to hang up.” It’s not really my normal style, but that actually sounds really cool, and it will give me an excuse to tour my new city a bit.

“Sounds like fun. Let’s do it.”

 

 

With two bags full of records, we make our way to an adorable café called Cast Iron. They brew their own coffee and tea here and I almost moan at the first taste of my iced tea as lime, mint, and agave explode in my mouth.

“Good, right?”

“Amazing! Much better than anything we have back home.”

“Speaking of, and if it’s none of my business, just tell me to shut my face.” I can’t help but chuckle at how colorful my new roommate is. “But you transferred from Yale. I’m talking Ivy League, impossible to get into, cut throat college, to come to Stockton. Don’t get me wrong, UOP rocks, it’s such a great school, but what gives?”

I take a deep breath and a slow sip of my tea while I try to figure out how I’m going to put into words why I left.

“Yale is a fantastic school. I was incredibly lucky to get in, but it’s like you said with the peg thing…I just didn’t fit no matter how much I wanted to. Not with my roommate, or classmates. For sure not with my family, and I started wondering what was wrong with me. I was constantly depressed and felt like I was just going through the motions. I only had one close friend at Yale and growing up. It was like we fell off the conveyer belt. You know, the rejects that aren’t exactly perfect? Well, that was Sandra and I.”

For being so bubbly and fun, she seems to be really listening to me, and she must be able to see how hard this is for me to talk about, because she reaches out and grabs my hand.

“Sandra’s family was just as bad as my own, if not worse. Where mine were all doctors, hers were all lawyers. Our sophomore year, Sandra’s sister was hit by a drunk driver and killed instantly, Sandra never really recovered.” Jodi reaches over and wipes a tear that falls from my eye. “She couldn’t move past it. I tried to be there for her, but I was being pushed into pre-med and trying to survive Yale, and well…I failed her, and we ended up losing her, too.”

“No, you didn’t, sweetie. I know she was your best friend, but it wasn’t your job to save her.”

“One night after attending another fundraiser dinner it all hit me. I wasn’t able to save my best friend. She drowned in sorrow and expectation and I found myself following the same path. The fundraiser was for a musical program for a private school and it just woke me up. If I was going to survive, I needed a new start far away from memories that haunt me, and family that doesn’t understand me. Stockton has an amazing musical therapy program, it’s far away, and it’s in a community where I can actually do good.”

“Wow. When I asked, I wasn’t expecting you to be so honest. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, but I’m very happy you’re here now. I think we’re going to become fast friends.”

“Thanks, Jodi. I can’t believe I just told you all that, I’ve never told anyone before.”

“See? Fast friends.” She hugs me, and for the first time in a year, I feel like some of my jagged pieces might be starting to merge together to heal.