~ Andrea

A break from life, huh?

Funny. The last time I thought of that was after Clay’s grandparents told me that he wasn’t coming back. Back then, a part of me felt like giving up, disappearing. I didn’t really want to die, though. I just wanted to stop for a while, to have time to pick up the pieces of myself, to get away from everyone I knew. I didn’t have that luxury, though. I was only sixteen and I had to go back to high school, to face the people who Clay left me behind with, the mean ones smirking and saying ‘I told you so’ and the kind ones speculating in not so hushed whispers about how last year’s most popular high school sweethearts fell apart so fast. It was hell but I managed to get by, focusing on my studies and leaning on my family.

Somehow, I made it through life.

Still, a break feels nice and as I drive around Moorhead, I realize I’m in the perfect city to have it.

It’s a city with character and charm, not bustling but at the same time, not eerily quiet. It’s got history with old houses and a Viking museum, as well as the first Dairy Queen to offer the famous Dilly Bar. It has wide, open fields where the city earns most of its income and it also has modern buildings to keep up with the times, along with several shops.

After visiting a few, I find just what I’m looking for – a small, knitted pony for Rose to hang above her bed or put under her pillow. I get myself a souvenir as well – a Viking helmet paperweight. Then as I’m on my way to the counter, something else catches my eye –a statue of a sleeping Viking, at the bottom of which says Even warriors need a break. At once, I’m reminded of Clay, not just because he’d probably look hot in a Viking costume – an image I try to push away – but because I still can’t believe he hasn’t had a vacation in years.

Should I get it? I’m not sure. I don’t know if Clay will like it. I don’t even know if it’s right for me to give Clay anything. He probably has everything he wants.

Then again, even the person who has everything could use something and I can imagine this statue on Clay’s desk in his office, hopefully reminding him that even the best people need to take a breather every once in a while.

Just get it. You won’t know if he’ll like it unless he sees it.

Oh, fine. I’ll get it. I won’t give it to him right away, though. Maybe I’ll wait for the perfect opportunity or more accurately, when I have the guts or a good reason to. Our trip is just starting, after all. There’s plenty of time.

As I walk out the store with my purchases, I smile. Who knows what else I’ll find on this trip?

---

“Is it a giraffe?” I ask Rose, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

We’re on our way to our next destination, Custer, South Dakota, which is about eight hours away and to pass the time, we’ve decided to play 20 Questions. By we, I mean Clay and I started it but Rose joined in and so we happily let her have a turn.

“No,” she answers, hugging her knitted pony, which she claims is her best pony ever, to her chest.

Each day, she just seems to keep getting better and better.

“Is it a tiger?” Clay asks.

“No.” Rose frowns. “Tigers don’t eat grass.”

Clay shrugs. “You’re right. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Does it live on the farm?” I ask.

“Some do,” Rose says.

I look at Clay who gives me a knowing smile. We’ve actually known the answer since the beginning but pretended not to just so we can get Rose to talk and enjoy the game. We’re almost at the end of the twenty questions, though – not that anyone’s really keeping count – so it’s about time we drop the act.

I glance at Rose. “Is it a…pony?”

Rose gasps. “How did you guess?”

Clay and I chuckle.

“I guess it’s my turn now,” I say, facing the front.

Now, what should I let them guess?

“Alright, I have it.” I place my hands on my lap. “It’s a thing. I guess it’s a…mineral?”

Clay glances at me. “You’re supposed to be the answerer, not the guesser.”

“Mineral then,” I announce.

“Is it a diamond?” Rose asks.

I smile at her. “No, sweetheart.”

“Is it Skittles?” Clay asks.

I chuckle. “No.”

“Is it something you eat?” Rose asks.

“No, sweetheart. It’s a mineral so it’s not edible,” I explain.

“Is it something you make?” Rose asks again.

“Yes, you can make it.”

“Is it those paper things?” Clay asks. “What do you call them again? Origami? I remember you were good at those.”

Yes, I was. I used to make paper cranes, boxes and flowers and paste them on my bedroom wall. I even tried to make a thousand paper cranes once when my sister was in the hospital for an appendectomy, reading somewhere that it could help with her recovery. Clay helped me. In spite of that, we only managed to make a little over a hundred. It’s a good thing my sister made a quick recovery just the same.

So, Clay remembers that, huh? He seems to have remembered everything I’ve tried to forget.

“No,” I tell him. “Not those.”

“Is it colorful?” Rose asks.

“It can be.”

“Is it a kite?” Clay asks.

I give him a puzzled look. “Actually, yes. How did you know?”

Clay shrugs. “I just guessed. Plus, I remembered when we were…when we were in high school, there was a time when we were at the park and there were kids flying kites and you said you wanted to be a kite.”

Shit. He remembers that, too? I don’t know what to say. I wasn’t even thinking of that when I thought of kite.

“My turn.” Clay grins, continuing with the game. “Since Rose chose an animal and you chose mineral, I’ll choose a vegetable.”

Vegetable, huh? That means something that grows, maybe something edible. Strange. I don’t even remember what his favorite food was.

“Is it a carrot?” Rose asks.

“Nope,” Clay answers.

Think, Andrea.

“Is it Jalapenos?” I ask. “You used to like them on your pizza.”

He looks at me. “You remember?”

Oh, shit. Why did I say that? Why did I fall into his trap? I should never have thought of playing this stupid game in the first place. Now, I’m remembering stuff, too.

“No, it’s not Jalapenos,” Clay says.

“Can you eat it?” Rose asks.

“No.”

I take a deep breath. Relax, Andrea. It’s just a game.

“Is it hard?” I ask.

“No. Don’t worry, it’s not.”

At first, I’m confused by his answer. Then I go back to the question and realize what I just asked, my gaze instinctively going to his crotch.

“And no, that’s not it.”

I look away, blushing.

Shit. Why did I have to ask that stupid question? And why did I have to look. Of course, that’s not it. That isn’t a vegetable, after all, though it did look somewhat like a cucumber or an eggplant. Or is it more like a zucchini? Ugh. This game is feeling more stupid by the second.

“What’s not it?” Rose asks curiously.

“Nothing,” I tell her quickly. “Now, ask your next question.”

Rose pauses before asking. “Is it small?”

Clay’s eyebrows crease. “I guess it is.”

Nope. Definitely not it. Wait. Why am I still thinking of that?

“Is it pretty?” Rose asks.

“Yes.”

“Is it a flower?”

Clay smiles. “You’re right, Rose. It is a flower. Now, tell me what kind.”

“A rose?” Rose asks hopefully.

Clay gives her a high five. “Alright! You got it!”

“Yes!” Rose cheers.

“Yay!” I cheer as well, clapping my hands.

Of course, it was a rose.

“It’s my name!” Rose says excitedly.

“That’s right,” I tell her.

“I wasn’t thinking of her name, though,” Clay says, glancing at me. “I was thinking of that rose I gave you at my junior prom.”

The prom.

All of a sudden, I’m back at the high school gym, standing under twinkling lights and flower lanterns. I was Clay’s best friend so he invited me. I was the only freshman to go. I wore a green dress. He wore a rented tux with the red rose as a boutinniere on his chest. When the evening was over, he gave the flower to me, along with a kiss.

Our first kiss.

I blush.

“What’s a prom?” Rose asks.

I don’t answer, still trying to slow my heart down.

“It’s when girls and boys in high school dance,” Clay explains.

“Oh,” Rose says, unimpressed. “Can I have my turn now?”

“You know what? Why don’t we stop playing for now?” I tell her, finally finding my voice.

Sorry, Rose, but I don’t think I can stand another second of this game.

“Why?” Rose asks, frowning.

Because ‘Twenty Questions’ is not a good game to play with your ex.

“Because we should rest,” I tell her.

Clay says nothing.

“But I’m not tired,” Rose whines.

“But I think I am.” I face the window. “You can keep playing with Clay if you want. Or we can play another game later.”

A game that doesn’t involve bringing up the past or anything personal or anything hard, hopefully.

I yawn. “I think I’ll take a nap.”

---

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is that my neck hurts from staying in one position for too long. Darn it. I should have used a neck pillow. As I rub my neck, the next thing I notice is that the car isn’t moving and as I turn around, I find the driver’s seat empty. Quickly, I glance at the back, relieved to see Rose sleeping there, one arm over her chest and the other dangling towards the floor where she’s dropped her knitted pony. I pick it up, placing it on her belly with a smile before looking around.

Where are we? And where’s Clay?

Just a quick glance around answers both questions. We’re at a gasoline station and Clay is inside the convenience store, probably paying for gas or buying something. At first, it’s just him and the clerk talking but after a few moments, two blondes join in. I don’t know what they’re talking about but seeing the way they’re smiling and running their hands through their hair, trying to get as close to Clay as possible, I can guess that they’re flirting with him. Of course, they are. Any woman with eyes can see how good-looking Clay is.

Unexpectedly, I feel a surge of jealousy climb up my spine, followed by another when Clay turns to them with that breathtaking smile of his.

I tear my gaze away, frowning.

What the hell is wrong with those girls? Don’t they have any self-respect? Where do they get the guts to approach a stranger like that?

I shake my head. No. It’s not them I’m annoyed with. It’s me.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this? Why am I feeling this way?

Maybe reliving all those memories has my brain confused into thinking Clay is still my boyfriend. He’s not.

But he can still be.

Never, not after what he did to me.

Never say never. If you’re feeling jealous, it means you still feel something for him, don’t you?

I shake my head. No, I don’t feel anything for him. Even if I do, I shouldn’t be jealous. I have no right to be. Clay is not my boyfriend.

He is not my boyfriend, I repeat to myself just to let the message sink in.

We’re just friends traveling together.

And you think that’s what he thinks? You think that’s all he wants? Why do you think he’s bringing up the past?

As he approaches the car, I close my eyes, pretending to still be asleep as I push the green-eyed monster back into its lair.

Well, genius, if Clay really wants us to go back to the way they were, then why on earth is he flirting back with those girls and looking like he’s enjoying it instead of shoving them away?