~ Clay

Coldwater, Michigan. The place where it all began.

As I drive the SUV, the same one we used for our road trip, my thoughts drift off to the time I spent there, to my grandparents who I lived with and who are now gone – I suppose I should use this chance to visit their graves, to high school, to the time I met Andrea and those months I spent with her, to the day I left.

I can’t believe I’m going back.

I never thought I’d go back. Well, I was initially planning to, of course, but after I decided to stay with my mother, I knew I couldn’t show my face in Coldwater anymore. It was the price I had to pay for my choice. Even when my grandparents died and I wanted to attend their funerals, I couldn’t go. How could I, when there was a chance I’d run into Andrea? How could I face her after leaving her behind and breaking her heart?

Andrea wasn’t the only one who was afraid.

I wanted to see her again. Many times I picked up the phone, staring at it and thinking of calling her. Once I did only to hang up as soon as someone answered. Even after my company took off, I thought of seeking her out but I told myself I had my chance and I wasted it. I didn’t deserve another. I never thought I’d see her again.

But I did. I met her again, just when I needed to and now, here we are, going back to Coldwater as a married couple with a little girl that we’re in the process of adopting.

I have to say, I’m a little bit terrified.

I remember Mrs. Simmons well. She had eyeglasses, the same hair as Andrea’s that she always wore short. And she always wore a cardigan no matter what time of the year it was. She was always kind to me back then but I can imagine she isn’t inclined to feel the same way.

As for Andrea’s father, I don’t really remember him. All I remember is that he was a big guy with a big voice. He was the coach of the swimming team, after all. Pretty scary.

And Rachel? She was in college already so she wasn’t really around. All I can say is that she was older, sassier than Andrea but not as smart or as beautiful. And Tom? No. I don’t remember him, at all, but if there’s one thing I know about big brothers, they can be very protective of their younger sisters, especially younger sisters who have been heartbroken before. He won’t like seeing his sister married to the same guy who broke her heart. And since he’s a Marine now, he might express his dismay in more than just words.

Boy, I’m in for a bit of trouble.

It’s nothing I can’t handle, though, I tell myself as I look at Andrea in the passenger seat, who seems to be even more nervous than I am. Right now, she’s staring far beyond the dashboard, her fingers alternating between tapping her knees and fidgeting with her wedding ring.

“Hey,” I tell her. “It’s going to be alright.”

“Is it?” she asks, looking at me as she sits back.

“It’s going to be tough, I know. They’ll interrogate us. They’ll roast us. They’ll probably divide and conquer. But in the end, they won’t come between us. We’ll still be together and everything will be alright.”

I place my hand on her thigh, giving it a light squeeze to reassure her.

She nods, letting out a deep breath as she places her hand over mine. “You’re right. We’ve gone through a lot to be here. We’ll make it.”

“Make what?” Rose asks from the backseat.

Andrea glances at her. “What I’m saying is that you, Daddy Clay and I are going to be a family no matter what.”

From the rearview mirror, I see her smiling and I, too, smile.

“That’s right. No matter what happens, we’ll have each other.”

“You mean you won’t ever leave me again?” Rose asks.

My smile vanishes. Nothing happened while Andrea and I were on our honeymoon. Even so, I still feel bad about having left Rose behind, especially with Nora.

“Don’t you like your Aunt Nora?” Andrea asks her. “I thought the two of you got along.”

“She’s okay,” Rose says. “But she’s not like you or Daddy Clay. I want to be with you.”

“Of course, you do,” I say. “That’s why we’re bringing you with us this time.”

“Where are we going again?” she asks.

“To Coldwater, Michigan,” Andrea answers. “That’s where Daddy Clay and I first met.”

“Really?” Rose’s eyes grow wide.

“And where my family lives. You’ll meet my Mom and Dad, who are going to be your grandparents.”

“I have grandparents?”

“And another aunt, Rachel, who you’ll hopefully like more and an uncle, Tom, who’s a soldier.”

“Does he have a gun?” Rose asks.

“Yes, but he’ll leave it at work,” Andrea answers.

I sure hope so.

For a moment, Rose falls silent. Then she pops another question.

“Will they like me?”

This question makes me pause and I draw in a deep breath. Of course, Andrea and I are not the only ones who are nervous.

“Of course, they will,” Andrea assures. “How can they not when you’re the sweetest, smartest little girl in all the world?”

“And you’re our little girl,” I add, glancing at Rose. “And if they don’t, well, it’s their loss. And like I said, no matter what happens, we will still all go home together, happy.”

“Okay.”

She doesn’t seem to have any further questions and Andrea looks at me, letting out a deep breath.

“Feel better?” I ask her.

She shrugs. “They’re my family so I guess I’m the most terrified.”

I give her a puzzled look. “Shouldn’t that make you the least terrified?”

Andrea gives another shrug. “I just hope they’re in a good mood.”

---

Well, Mrs. Simmons seems to be in a good mood, or so I think after she welcomes me with a hug. I’m not holding my breath, though. I know she has a lot to say and she can be scary when she wants to be.

“I still can’t believe Andrea married you,” she tells me as she lets me out of her arms. “After all, she used to say all the time how she…”

“Mom,” Andrea stops her, casting a warning glance in her direction.

I wouldn’t have minded hearing the truth but I should let Andrea handle this.

Mrs. Simmons looks at me. “Well, I guess she saw how handsome you became and just fell in love all over again.”

I can’t even tell if that’s a sarcastic remark or not.

“It seems being apart from each other did us some good,” I say.

She says nothing to that.

“And who’s this?” she asks as she kneels in front of Rose, who’s gripping the hem of Andrea’s blouse.

“This is Rose,” Andrea answers. “Clay and I are adopting her.”

Her mother stands up slowly. “Oh.”

I can tell she’s confused and disappointed. She must have a lot of questions but since Rose is around, she holds her tongue, forcing a smile.

“Well, welcome to our humble home.”

“Where’s Dad?” Andrea asks.

“Your father is in the garden as usual,” Mrs. Simmons answers. “You know he’s always there when there’s something on his mind.”

And Andrea’s marriage must be weighing on his mind.

“He’s not drinking, I hope,” Andrea says.

“I wouldn’t hope that. Men usually drink when there’s something on their minds.”

Andrea frowns.

Just then, the front door opens behind us and an older woman with dark brown hair enters, wearing a knitted, gray sweater and a red scarf.

Rachel.

“Ah, so the newlyweds are home,” she says, eyeing Andrea from head to foot. “Then again, we only have your word for it, since you didn’t invite any of us or even let us know. Are you sure you’re married?”

Andrea lifts her hand to show her ring.

“Beautiful ring,” Rachel says, nodding. “I approve of it. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for your husband.”

She glances at me.

“Hello, Rachel,” I greet.

“Hello, Clay.” She places a hand on her hip. “I’m surprised you had the guts to show your face around here.”

“Rachel,” Andrea scolds her.

Rachel, however, ignores her, her gaze still on me. “Are you sure you’re staying around this time?”

“I am,” I tell her confidently. “By the way, I heard you got married, too, so congratulations.”

The moment her eyes narrow, I realize I’ve said the wrong thing. Right. Andrea mentioned that Rachel and her husband were having some problems with their marriage. Fuck.

“Don’t get so cocky,” Rachel says, stepping closer to me. “I can see right through you and I don’t trust you one bit.”

“Rachel,” Andrea warns again.

“What?” Rachel turns to her. “Just because you’re blind doesn’t mean everyone has to be.”

Andrea turns to her mother. “Mom.”

Mrs. Simmons shrugs. “I’m afraid I can’t control your older sister any more than I can control you.”

Andrea sighs.

I take Rose’s hand. “I think Rose needs to rest. We’ve had quite a long trip.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Simmons says. “Where are my manners? Please follow me.”

She goes up the stairs.

“I hope you can all fit in Andrea’s old room. Or maybe one of you wants to stay in the guest room?”

“We’ll all fit, Mom,” Andrea says. “Thank you.”

As soon as we’re in Andrea’s bedroom, though, I frown, doubting it. There’s only one queen-sized bed and hardly enough space to move around, my head almost hitting the ceiling.

“Sure you don’t want me to take the guest room?” I ask her.

She frowns but the fact that she hasn’t said ‘no’ means that she’s considering it.

“I don’t mind,” I say.

“Sure?” She places her arms around me. “I’m so sorry everything is turning out to be such a disaster.”

“It’s fine.” I pat her on the back.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”

“And risked making your parents disown you? Now, that would be a disaster.”

She pulls away, stroking my cheek.

“We’ll be fine,” I assure her again. “We all love you so we’ll all find a way to get along somehow.”

Finally, Andrea smiles. “Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband?”

“Um…” I look up at the ceiling. “No.”

She chuckles.

I pinch her cheek. “Now, that’s the wife I know.”

“Sorry.” She sighs as she sits on the bed. “Everything’s just so overwhelming, I guess. And I suddenly feel so guilty. I feel like I have to talk to everyone so they’ll forgive me.”

“So talk to everyone.” I sit beside her. “Don’t worry about me. Rose and I will be fine, won’t we, Rose?”

Rose nods without glancing away from the wall she’s staring at, filled with pictures of a younger Andrea as well as other remnants of her youth.

“And you’ll be fine, too,” I say, holding her hand. “They’re your family. They’ll listen to you.”

“Will they?” She gives another sigh as she leans on my shoulder. “Who do you think I should talk to first?”

I look at her. “I think you know the answer.”