~Jives~
Feeling her hand against my own sent shivers down my body. It made me want to just break down and tell her everything, and to take a chance. I kept thinking about what she said earlier.
I was put together. I knew what I was doing. I laughed inwardly the second I heard that but, in truth, I did feel like that was the most wrong thing I’d heard in my entire life. I felt like it was just some lie that was put there because of how I act.
I didn’t feel put together. I felt like a mess. I always buried myself in my work to hide it, always working to be strong. I wanted to, one day when it was right, to just tell someone the truth about me, but I didn’t feel like now was the time. I knew that it would become apparent later on that I needed to reveal it, but for now, I would keep the lie there.
That’s right, I would continue to be the strong, alpha man that I’d always been. Jives the diplomat, the one who knew exactly what to say when it was the right moment. The person that never showed their true colors. The person that didn’t bother others with their pasts, for it was nothing but moot points that didn’t have anything to do with the situation at hand.
I shivered though, feeling the tension that was in my body start to deplete as I looked at her. I mean, Tracey was a good woman. I didn’t just help anyone. There was something about her that I enjoyed, something that made me want to knock all the walls down and tell her.
But I wouldn’t yet. Right now, friendship was the only thing that I could handle.
At the end of the night, I brought her back to the studio. She seemed happy about the events that transpired, and I was glad about it.
“I had fun,” I told her.
“I did as well. It was nice to finally hang out again. As friends,” she said.
I nodded. “Right. As friends,” I said.
As she got into her car, I headed back to the ship and sighed. Did I really want to be just friends? Do I tell her the truth? That I’m really a monster from a fucked up past, a past that even I’m ashamed to acknowledge? I don’t even know anymore, but as I sat there, thinking about it, I could tell that this would only get worse if I didn’t say anything.
Maybe it would be best if I left her alone for a bit. I went back, started to work on a few things, and left it at that.
However, it only made things worse. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t even understand why. I tried to get back to work the next day, but all I could think about was her.
What would happen if I told her everything? What might come about because of it? I didn’t want to know. I saw her call a few times, but I ignored it. I didn’t know if I was ready for her yet. Rather, I felt a bit lost.
Would everything work out? I didn’t even know anymore. I tried to keep a strong grounding on this. I mean, I’d never told anyone the truth about myself, about my past, or even who I am. There was that part of me, that one that ached to explain it all, to show her my true colors.
I held back though. I continued to work by myself, not paying mind to the calls and texts that I got from her. I could tell immediately she was angry with me. I would get calls and texts from her constantly, asking what was wrong, and when I’d see her again. I didn’t know how to approach this.
After all, how do you approach this situation? This was a human, probably someone that wouldn’t understand. I don’t know what to do about it, how to approach it, or anything of the sort.
Would I be better off telling her? I mean, she seemed to have her own problems as well, which meant that she probably didn’t have the time or energy to deal with me. Women were frustrating, and frankly, even I didn’t know what to do about any of this.
I sat there at my desk sighing, unsure of what to even do now. I mean, I could see her calls, her texts, and I wanted to see her again. I decided to bite the bullet after a while, and I picked up.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Are you okay?” she replied.
I sighed. I mean, I didn’t really know if I was.
“Yeah, I am. Sorry, I just got busy once again. You all right?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I do want to see you though,” she said.
I paused. I wanted to see her too, but I didn’t know if I should tell her what I was feeling.
“I do as well. I just... I have a lot on my mind,” I replied.
I really did. But of course, she knew just what to say, at the right time as always.
“You can always tell me, you know,” she said.
I tensed. There was no way she would understand. They told me nobody ever would, so why was she saying such asinine things? I didn’t even know anymore.
“Okay. Well, if you want to see me tonight, we could meet up either at your studio, or somewhere else,” I said.
“You want to maybe go see a movie? My treat. I just got paid for a huge commission, and I feel like doing something fun.”
A movie. That would give me less time to talk to her. I knew that humans loved being quiet during movies.
“That’s fine. Let’s do that,” I said.
I hung up the phone, sitting there and wondering if she would actually get it. If I could tell her everything. I mean, maybe she would. It’s just… it’s a risk I feared taking.
That night, I drove over to the studio. She got in the ship, and she directed me to the theater. She talked, and I listened. I mean, it’s nice that she did this. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to.
“Are you sure you’ve got this? I have money, you know,” I said.
“Seriously, Jives, this is my treat. Don’t you worry,” she replied.
I sighed. I didn’t want to be indebted to her. But the woman seemed insistent. Humans were like that.
The movie was okay, nothing to write home to mom about. I frankly found it quite boring and trite, but she seemed to like it. It was one of those romantic comedies, and while I didn’t understand the jokes, I tried to stay in there and watch it for her sake.
After that, we walked out, and she took me over to the pier nearby. When I looked around, I started to notice something out of the corner of my eye, causing me to freeze up.
“You okay?” I heard her ask.
“Yeah. Just fine,” I said.
“You’re hiding something,” she said.
“I’m telling you, it’s fine. It’s just... I thought my eyes were deceiving me,” I told her.
“What did you think you saw?” she inquired.
Man, this human didn’t seem to get it. I stood up, looking at her and sighing.
“I told you, it’s nothing that you have to worry about. It’s that—”
But I did have a hunch, and unfortunately, my hunch was right. She was soon attacked. She screamed out, but we were so far away from the pier that nobody saw it. I knew I wasn’t seeing things. I knew that she was back.
It was an alien, one that reminded me of a hell from long ago. I began to grow wary, mostly because I didn’t know what to do. Immediately, Tracey was held there, and I freaked out. She tried to get out of there, and I knew that time was running out. I had to save her. I just had to.
That’s when I did it. I finally revealed who I really was. I morphed, a change that I never thought would come. After a moment, I started to get bigger, showing off the true form that I had. I was unlike the other aliens on Klanden, and I saw her eyes widen. She didn’t understand.
But would she? That’s what I feared. I would figure out how to tell her when the time was right. Right now, I needed to fight off this alien.
I started to punch at it, feeling the tentacles trying to wrap around my arms. But it was too much. I had to use the attack, the one that I forbade myself from using unless someone was in danger. Right now, I needed to save her.
I stood up, putting my hands together, and cried out, a giant purple shape forming in my arms. I pushed it out, seeing the energy immediately rush out, and it hit the other creature square in the chest. I watched as it faltered about, letting Tracey go and I rushed to catch her as she collapsed on the ground. I looked at it, and the creature seemed to be almost smiling.
“It seems that you’re still here, so we can’t invade the humans yet,” the creature said.
It jumped into the water, and I watched as it swam away. Invade the humans? What the hell was going on? I didn’t even know anymore. There seemed to be something amiss about all of this. But what I was worried about, was Tracey.
Did she see it? Did she have questions? Did she even trust me? I don’t even know. I felt ashamed that I had to show her like that. Maybe I should’ve told her sooner, but I don’t know, I feared doing so. Right now, the only thing that I could think of doing, was to put all of this to bed, and that’s what I did. I brought her back to the studio, laying her down there. I wanted to tell her, but I needed to make sure she got some rest first. Plus, I feared what I saw could be the start of it all.
I was scared though. How do I tell her? Do I even want to? Maybe I should end all of this with this human now, not get involved any further. But, I felt like this had already gone too far, and I was in too deep. For now, I’d just take care of her, and when she came to me, I’d figure out what to do next.
If I even want to tell her that is.