~Tracey~
I couldn’t believe that bastard! First, he acted like a cold piece of shit to me and then he had the nerve to pay for my drinks? What the hell? I didn’t get this at all.
I sat there at the bar, fuming over that man. Why did he do that? What was the meaning behind it? I looked over at the bartender, who was laughing at me.
“You seem to have an admirer,” the woman said to me.
“No way. He doesn’t like me like that. He’s just some big, stupid alien who probably gets off on teasing people like that,” I told her.
“I don’t know, he did leave you quite a bit of extra cash, so if you choose to drink a bit more, it’s all covered,” she told me.
I didn’t like this. I didn’t need some billionaire alien patronizing me, if he was a billionaire that is. I mean, I don’t know, maybe he was just rich. I sat there, annoyed by the whole mess, drinking my drink like it was the only thing that mattered. Which was kind of true. I still felt unsure of what to make of the whole thing with that guy, whatever his name was, but I guess it did help me get my mind off it.
Still, there were many considerations. For one, I didn’t feel the connection I’d had with Brad anymore. Although I disliked this alien a lot, I felt more at ease around him than I did around Brad as of late. He seemed funny, smart even, and while he did seem to get off on harassing me, I kind of enjoyed it in a strange way. Plus, it did help with my stress.
Ugh, this was already proving rough. I continued to drink for a bit longer, until it was time to go home. Then I walked over to my apartment, which was near the studio. When I got there, I saw that one of the lights was on. Occasionally Brad would show up to say hi. He did have a key to my place, even though we didn’t move in, and I had his. But I was kind of relieved I didn’t have to see him. When I got inside, I closed the door, heading to bed to pass out. That night, I dreamt about the whole situation with the alien, and while I was fuming mentally, there was a strange part of me that enjoyed the whole mess, and a part of me wondered if it would actually lead to anything, whether it be friendship, or something more.
Who was I kidding? That guy was balls deep in his work. He probably just did that to make fun of me. He probably hated me and stuff. I didn’t think he had any sort of feelings for me. Not at all. I slept that night though dreaming about what might be going on, what might happen, and the potential that was there for something more.
I doubted it would get me anywhere. I woke up the next morning, noticing that Brad didn’t even leave me a voicemail or anything. I mean, did that mean he wanted to see me? I didn’t believe so. I walked over to my studio to work on a few projects. It did take my mind off how shitty my love life was, and how I was considering a change.
A change. I wonder what it would be like to change something such as this. I mean, maybe fate had something else in mind for me. I painted the commission that I had, and then, I started to work on my own work.
It was an image of a woman and a man in an embrace, but the woman was looking out the window at the world beyond. As I finished it I begin to wonder whether this was what I needed? Maybe the cheeriness of my relationship wasn’t as good as I expected it to be? I began to wonder if this was indeed possible, or maybe I was just overthinking it. I doubted that I could change that, but maybe I would be able to when the time was right.
After finishing the work, I set my paints down, keeping that picture as a personal memento. Maybe it was a self-portrait. I don’t know. After that though, I went over to my phone once more to see if he had messaged me. Nothing.
“What the fuck?” I muttered to myself. Brad didn’t even bother to call me or anything. What the hell was he doing? Why didn’t he try to say anything? I called him a few times, but there was no answer.
I went over to the studio and, when I got there, I noticed that he just finished up work. He looked at me, and I grimaced.
“There you are,” I said.
“Oh, sorry. I was in the middle of work,” he said.
Right. “So into your work you never bothered to message me?” I asked.
“Hey, I have a lot going on. I have so many commission pieces that it’s driving me mad. Plus, I have a new agent I’m working with,” he told me.
I paused. “Agent?”
“Yeah. Her name is Lila. I got signed onto her team, and she’s helping me get gigs. She’s done a lot for me. Sorry, I haven’t been as vocal as I normally am,” he said.
“Well, it would’ve been nice to know that you have a new agent,” I said.
“Hey, it’s not like I have to tell you every goddamn thing going on in my life!” he said.
“It would be nice if you actually respected the fact that I’m your girlfriend, not just some fleeting thing. I don’t like being regarded as such,” I said.
I was angry. I was fucking pissed at the way he was treating me. I walked away, and then I heard him finally retort.
“You know that the world doesn’t revolve around you, right? You’re not the only one here. I’m trying to make this all work, not just for you, but for both of us. Maybe you should think of someone else other than your-goddamn-self,” he said to me.
The nerve of this man! I flipped him off, slamming the door. I couldn’t stand the fact that I’m seen as nothing more than just a secondary option. The fact that he didn’t even bother to tell me that he had a new agent, the fact that he led me on like this, it all pissed me the fuck off. I needed a break.
I went over to the bar once again to drink. I didn’t see the man there this time around, which upset me, but I guess you can’t always get what you want. Of course, after that I went back home, trying to get my mind off things by sending out some work emails. But, there was that nagging feeling of dread in my body, the realization that Brad might not care about me as much as I thought, and the fact that he acted the way that he did towards me really hurt. Did he even care about me?
Did anyone care about me? I waited for a call from Audrey, but nothing. She seemed busy, off in her own little world with Remi. The whole situation was turning me bitter, and I didn’t like it. I’d never felt so alone before. I was with a guy who didn’t respect me, lost my best friend ‘cause she’s off in another fucking galaxy, and the only person who’s even been remotely nice to me over the last couple of days was that damn alien from the wedding. Ugh, what do I do now?
I guess the only answer was to hope that the answer to my problems would eventually come. Maybe there would be a sign along the way, something that would dictate to me what to do next. Because right the fuck now, I felt completely out of sorts, unsure of where to go, and mostly worried about what to do next. There were still many problems that I had regarding this whole mess, but maybe, just maybe, it will all work out when the time was right. I was just sick of feeling alone, sick of feeling like I’m nothing, and I’m sick of being treated like this when I know I could have so much better.