Chapter 15
She took one last moment to look Diego over. He was pale and breathing a little heavier than she would like, but he seemed content in his napping. His breathing was deep and steady, if a little pained. His face seemed as content as could be. It was enough to settle Alessia’s nervousness as she walked over to where Erik stood with his hands shoved in his pockets, staring out in the valley beyond them. If nothing else, this place was gorgeous and Alessia could be grateful for that much. Nature and all that. It wasn’t worth the weeks of imprisonment and the threat of death. But it was something.
“Hey,” she said, coming up to stand next to him. He didn’t flinch a bit. He expected her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Nice views,” she said. “Who knew that outside Los Angeles, this place was actually gorgeous.”
“National Geographic, probably.”
She didn’t know if she was supposed to laugh or not at that, so she gave him a snort and then they went back to silence. She stole glances at him through the corner of her eye. His arms were crossed now and he stared out into the air with such seriousness. He seemed so much older than the smirking man from her seminars. He seemed like an actual scholar, a student of thought. She supposed spending days in a dungeon and being held captive would do that to you.
“Something on your mind?” he asked with much reluctance. Asking her what was wrong would open a can of worms for both of them.
Everything had been a whirlwind. She’d turned him down, he’d realized why. She’d slept with Drake, and then immediately went to beg Erik for help. He gave her help and was severely punished for it. He’d been helpful for her. He’d been a good friend. And now, his life was probably changed forever in a way that would never go away. He had a scar now, some that probably could even be seen since they seemed to like torturing him.
“I feel bad,” she said, honestly. “I got a lot of people hurt.”
Erik snorted. “You give yourself a lot of credit. I mean, yeah, you asked around and got some things in motion, but at least give us the power of choice here. I did what I wanted to do. I wanted to help you and I wanted to help Drake. That wasn’t your fault. Just like him getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault.”
She smiled to herself. She didn’t believe him, not really. But she liked hearing it. It wasn’t all hot air. He believed what he said. That didn’t make it true, but it made it very heartfelt. He wanted her to feel better and he wanted to do it with truth.
“Shit sucks,” he said. “Yeah, you gave me the options but I made the choice. You can’t force that shit and it was my fault. So, I’ll take the blame for it and move on.”
Okay. She’d take that. She’d let that be the truth for her. She didn’t need more. She’d accept that at face value and move on. It was easier than trying to pick it apart and find the ways he was wrong or she could find loopholes in his forgiveness. She nodded into the air at a question that wasn’t asked because she would accept everything he laid at her feet.
Now the only thing she needed was for Drake to get back and for her to have her talk with him. They needed to discuss some things as well, for clarification. Part of her wished that Diego was awake enough to hear her ranting; she wanted someone to bounce these things off of. She wanted to let it out to someone and Erik wasn’t the person she would force to listen to this. She didn’t return his feelings and she didn’t want to encourage him, but she also didn’t want to torture him. He deserved more than that.
So, she was left to tumble the issues around in her head.
***
Night fell and Drake was still very much gone. Alessia wouldn’t sleep tonight and she knew that Erik wouldn’t either. Diego was in a permanent state of sleep and she didn’t think that was a good thing. He wasn’t getting any better, despite the rest. He needed antibiotics, they needed to clean him up, get him food and water. They would need to keep moving soon and hope that Drake somehow found them. Alessia knew the solution waiting for them. She didn’t want to admit it or give into it, but it was the way things would be soon.
“How should we move him?” she asked, nodding to Diego.
Erik looked up and turned. “You’re giving up on your boyfriend so easily?”
“Getting him better needs to be the first priority,” she said as if the possibility of Drake being captured and tortured wasn’t at the forefront of her mind.
“Well, we can take turns carrying him,” he said. “He can’t walk on his own. He could stumble a few steps on our shoulders with some leaning but I don’t think it will get much farther than that.”
Alessia nodded. She didn’t have the strength to carry Diego on her own. They’d have to do what they could to avoid hurting him permanently. Nothing was broken and the bruises were mending. He didn’t seem to have any internal bleeding but that didn’t mean all his wounds were obvious.
“So, should we move now or wait for daylight?” Alessia asked. She wasn’t sure which was more dangerous and which was the suicide mission.
“I say we go now,” Erik said and Alessia didn’t want to think he was saying it just because he wanted to try to lose Drake in their struggle to get to shelter and civilization. “Daylight is too obvious. Everyone wants to move around in daylight because it’s nice and safe, but this way will be better, trust me.”
She decided there was some truth in that. Everyone always waited until daylight to start moving; they felt safer, but if everyone did it, then everything out there would know where to find humans. Not that she was suddenly giving into all sorts of fears and fancies like vampires and werewolves (though Diego was the closest thing she’d ever gotten to something like that).
They packed up what little camp they had, did their best to disguise the fact that anyone had been living and moving through there, and made their way towards where Drake had flown off to. At the very least, they could follow his trail that way, working towards him, assuming he didn’t circle back around or choose to make his way back to them through a different route. They’d hopefully catch him as they moved through the wilderness, headed south towards civilization they hoped was there.
It became clear very quickly during their excursion that they couldn’t last long, carrying Diego the way they were. He couldn’t make it on his own. They let him down for a brief amount of time, tasked him with trying to make his way out on his own, but it always ended with him succumbing to some weakness or another and tumbling to the ground. It bothered Erik, Alessia could tell that much with the way he groaned and moaned as he bent down to pick Diego back up to his feet. But he kept it to himself.
She never would have pegged him for the type to be quietly selfless. He seemed like the picture of a man who would complain and be the first to suggest they leave Diego behind while trying to make their way to safety. But he didn’t say a word. He glared, he groaned, he might have even growled once or twice, but he moved on, all the same, quietly helping Diego along and moving the group. She didn’t want to admit their roles had changed, that he had morphed into the leader position. She’d hoped to retain that for herself since it was her idea to break off from Lana and move south.
But he was also very good at what he did. He was a natural when it came to directions while Alessia was quite useless at it.
“Don’t look so gloomy,” Erik said when she incorrectly tried to point them south. “It’s not like you need to know stuff like this. I just went camping a lot.”
“I just thought I would be better at this whole setting out on your own thing than I am,” she said, sighing.
Erik turned to look at her; she saw it out the corner of her eye and felt it in her cheeks as they heated under a prolonged gaze. He had a way of looking at her that was constantly analyzing and she didn’t know if it excited or scared her more than anything else. “You don’t always need to have the practical skills to be a good leader or an asset to a group. I’ll be the brains, you be the heart of the operation.”
“The heart?”
“You’re the one who was brave enough to stand up to Lana and stand up for Diego. I was pissed, but I let it happen. So, you’ll be our moral compass; you’re certainly very good with directions when it comes to that,” he said with a small smile and Alessia fought down the urge to launch forward and hug him. Diego was still hanging on his shoulder and they hadn’t exactly gotten down the whole touching thing. She didn’t know if it was something she should try to do yet, until they had a better grounding for the elephant in the room between them.
It worried her that she felt more likely to touch him with Drake not here. It felt like it was somehow his presence that kept them from connecting better. That worried her because of what it could mean.
She didn’t get the chance to ponder it too much, however; the next thing she knew Erik shoved her down onto the ground and someone shouted.