Chapter Twenty-Two: It’ll Be Like an R-Rated Disney Land
Someone’s placed a framed picture of Cole and me on my vanity table at home, and I want to hug whomever that person is. It’s one from a trip we took to the beach this past summer; I’m grinning at the camera, Cole’s standing behind me and holding me in his arms. His head’s turned toward me and he’s beaming at me; you can practically see the feelings that he has for me pouring out of the picture. Picking up the wooden, rustic-looking frame, I hug it to my chest and decide to take it back to my dorm.
“I had it in my phone and thought you’d like a blown-up version of it.” Travis leans against my doorframe and smiles warmly at me. For old times’ sake, he’s crashing in his old room, though I imagine the memories it holds for him can’t be too pleasant.
“I love it. It was a really good day.”
“You’re talking about it like there haven’t been too many of those since then.”
I don’t want to mope during my time home because that’s not why I’m here. It’s the holidays, and I’m supposed to be spending this time doing anything but unloading all my problems onto them. But they’ve already seen enough, heard enough, and my good intentions have gone to waste.
“You know how it is, Trav, college isn’t always what you expect it to be. I’m just feeling a little lost right now, and Cole is, well…I think he’s just suffering because of how confused I am.”
“What’s there to be confused about?” Travis walks into the room and sits on my bed, patting the space next to him, and I follow his directions.
“You’ve always known what you wanted from life, always more than I did. Hell, I never had any intentions of getting into politics or law school or any of the other stuff Dad had planned for me. I’m going back to school in a couple of months, and it scares the shit out of me because I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. But you’ve always loved books and known you wanted to build a career around them. Are you going to let some entitled airheads get in the way of that?”
When he puts it that way, I feel incredibly stupid.
“It’s not just the airheads; it’s knowing that there’s one thing that I’ve learned to feel the most secure about, and that same thing is being threatened over and over again. It took me a long time to feel comfortable in my relationship with Cole, to understand that we’re equals and not ask myself why someone like him would be into someone like me.”
He groans in frustration. “Are you even listening to yourself? God, if Beth were here, she’d put you in your place. This isn’t the Tess I know, and the more you put yourself down, the more I want to hurt someone.”
“Well, it’s a good thing Jay’s in the neighborhood, right?”
“Can’t get into trouble with the sheriff, he has to oversee all my community service paperwork, but I could always wear a ski mask,” he muses.
“And jump Jay in a dark parking lot, oh, and Beth would totally have enough black outfits for both of you.”
“I don’t think she’s aware of any other color existing. If she didn’t look so hot in it, I’d say it was a little disturbing.”
I laugh and he rolls his eyes. “That was a brilliant change of subject, but come on, we’re not done talking about you.”
“There’s not much to talk about. I’m lacking in the confidence department, and that’s a known fact. Those girls, well, blood-sucking leeches would be a better term, but they’re aware of it, and they take advantage of the fact.”
“They crossed a line, if I could ever fucking hit a girl…” Travis growls and I drop my head.
“Everyone keeps wanting to fight my battles for me, and I keep letting them. Maybe part of being confident is to stop doing that.”
He’s quiet for a while. “I miss your spirit; I hate that whatever’s happening at school is taking that away from you. I might have missed out on the toughest part of your life, but what I did see showed me that you were brave, that you stood up to people who tried to hurt you, and, most of all, you were happy. Now you just look tired of everything, and it’s killing me.”
I’m speechless. My brother has never been one for making speeches. He’s always there for me in his own quiet way, but he’s never said something so touching before, and before I know it, my eyes are watering. I hug his side and he slings his arm around me.
“Be the fighter that you are Tess, come on.”
***
The girls and I pack ourselves and our collective hoard of Black Friday loot into my car.
“That was so much fun!” Megan sighs as she pulls on her seat belt. “Victoria’s Secret always has the best sales.”
“Talk about yourself,” Beth groans, “all that squealing, and the amount of pink in that room…” She shudders. “Why do you guys subject yourself to this torture every single year?”
“Hey, it’s tradition, besides, it’s not like you came out empty-handed.” I point toward her own bags.
“I just bought some necessities. I do live in an apartment that requires me to actually shop for it.”
“And under what kind of necessity would you classify La Perla?” I laugh but then immediately shut up at the sly look that comes across her face.
“Oh Tessa, dear old Tessa, you walked right into that one.”
“No! Please, forget I said anything. I don’t need to know why you needed that medieval-looking corset or any of the other…stuff.”
“Your brother’s quite adventurous,” she goes on, ignoring everything I’ve said. “He especially requested that I look for these items. I might even wear them tonight; did you forget that I’m staying over? I really hope you have earplugs nearby.”
“Stop, stop! For the love of god, I ask you to stop.”
“I think she’s going to have a panic attack, Beth, you should stop.” Megan doesn’t look up from her phone, typing furiously.
“She started it.”
“I did no such thing! All I said was—”
“Tessa, don’t be stupid, Beth isn’t mad about the shopping thing. Isn’t it obvious? We’re still trying to understand why you think anything that comes out of Nicole’s mouth is a good idea.”
I hate traffic, I mean everyone hates it, but right now, it’s making me feel claustrophobic. We’re stuck in a long line of cars that don’t look like they’re going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe I could just leave the car running and jump out; it’d be less painful than the conversation we’re about to have.
“I never said that it was a good idea.”
“But you’ve been thinking about it. Ever since the she-devil left and you came back after brainwashing Cole, you’ve had that look on your face. You’re actually thinking about the fake breakup, aren’t you?” Beth looks ready to hit me.
“If I said that it’s Cole who’s considering it and not me, would you believe me?”
“No way,” Megan scoffs, “he would never even think twice about it.”
“You’d be surprised at the things that he could do when he deludes himself into thinking that he needs to protect me.”
“Then stop acting like you need his goddamn help all the time.”
“I don’t.” I’m starting to get annoyed now, really annoyed. “I didn’t ask to be ridiculed in front of the entire student body, who’ve seen my underwear, by the way. I also didn’t ask for photos of me to go around and advertise the fact that I’m nothing better than a prostitute.” I hear my best friends’ gasps but continue, “And I sure as hell didn’t ask to see a girl wrapped around Cole every time I see him. I trust my boyfriend, and I love him to death for always trying to take care of me, but I don’t purposely put myself into situations just to get his help or attention.”
Both of them are quiet, and I think maybe I’ve come on a bit too strong. “I’m not angry; I just…I wish you guys understood that it’s not easy for me. I’m not big on the idea of any kind of a breakup with Cole, it’d kill me, but then according to him, being together is doing the same thing.”
“Just promise us you’ll exhaust all other options before coming anywhere near Nicole’s idea,” Megan asks me.
“Of course,” I promise, really hoping that I get to keep it.
***
Everyone sleeps in on Saturday, and the girls and I meet for a late lunch. Later in the day I go to have dinner with the Stones, which is awkward as heck, given that Jay’s date is here and she’s staring daggers at me. The moment I make the stupid mistake of excusing myself to go to the bathroom, Rose corners me and is standing outside the guest bathroom when I come out.
“Hi.” She’s got those crazy eyes going on, and I can’t help but feel sorry for Jay. This is going to end badly for him, and he’s probably never going to stop picking the wrong girls.
“Hey?”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” The way she’s looking at me makes it look like if I don’t answer her question, she’ll plunge her hand down my throat and yank it out.
“Okay, and it is?”
“Is Jay cheating on me with you?”
I nearly start choking on air, well, it’s either that or laugh until tears start streaming down my face, and naturally, I go for the latter.
“I’m sorry—what?” I can’t stop laughing, and it makes her glare harder.
“I’m not stupid. I see the way he looks at you, the way he’s always looking at you. Are you sleeping together?” She moves in as if to intimidate me, but Rose is as threatening as a sloth.
“I’m dating his brother.”
“So?”
“Why would I date a Jason if I have a Cole?”
It’s proof of how horrible of a girlfriend she’s going to make that she accepts my point as being valid, but then her face morphs in anger.
“But you brought his ex to dinner yesterday. If that wasn’t a move to sabotage my relationship, then what was it?”
At this I start laughing again, and I’m pretty sure we’ll have an audience soon if I don’t control myself.
“Nicole remembers Jay with the affection one has for an ingrown toenail. If you thought I’d brought her in for a passionate reunion, you’d be wrong.”
“Well, then she isn’t my problem anymore, you are! He’s got photos of you on his phone and…and I had to force him to bring me home to see his parents. Just…just stay away from him.”
I’m only just absorbing the fact that Jay’s unrequited affections really need to be tamed when Cole appears by my side.
“I think she’s heard enough of your shit, don’t you?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I do have some space left for some more BS, but only if she still thinks she’s capable of spewing some more of it.”
Cole looks at me with a mixture of surprise and amusement on his face. He understands that I don’t really need him to step in for me right now. I see the virtual waving of a white flag as he steps back.
Rose’s face is ironically turning red. “Leave him alone,” she stutters and marches away, stumbling in her heels, and Cole and I burst out laughing even before she’s out of earshot.
“What a piece of work.” He shakes his head before grabbing my hand and hauling me to his chest.
“That was pretty sexy.”
“What was?” I arch an eyebrow. It’s nice to see him like this, all light and free and not brooding and distant.
“Seeing you like that, a woman in control.” He settles his hands at the sides of my waist and teasingly begins bringing them up and down.
“Your parents are a couple of feet away,” I squeak when his hands get a bit too close to trouble.
“Your overnight bag is in my room.” He grins.
“What?”
“I thought we were stating facts.”
“When did you…how did you? Am I staying over?”
He nuzzles his face in my neck. “Yes, and it’s going to be fun.”
“Fun.” I’m beginning to lose my train of thought.
“Yeah it’ll be like an R-Rated Disney Land.”
“Oh my…”
“My parents are going to go drop off Nana and stay the night with some of their friends.”
“And Jay?”
“Twenty bucks says that he’ll check into a hotel the moment we close the door to our bedroom.”
“That’s not something I’m going to bet against.”
“Smart choice, Shortcake, smart choice.”
***
Before I know it, it’s time to head back to school, but this time I leave knowing that winter break is just weeks away and that I’ll be home for a good while the next time I come back. Megan, Beth, and I say a sappy goodbye to each other, and Beth promises to visit at least once in the coming month, ensuring that she’ll bring Travis along.
Before we leave, my dad pulls me aside and hands me an envelope, which I know contains a big, fat check.
“What is it for this time?”
“She called it a pre-Christmas present present.” He scratches the back of his neck.
“Well, you know what to do with this.”
“Tessa…I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay with you shutting out your mom like this. This is the only way she knows how to connect with people these days. I really think you should…”
“I don’t need her money, literally. I really don’t need it, Dad.”
“And I’m proud of you, I’m proud that you’re smart with your finances and that you keep a steady job. Don’t use the money and see it for what it really is, a plea to get you to talk to her.”
“I’ll think about it; I’m not making any promises, but I’ll think about it.”
I hold my tongue from asking how her sugar daddy’s doing, because that would just ruin the moment.
The drive back is oddly quiet; Cole seems detached again, and the sense of foreboding that creeps through me makes my skin crawl. When I can’t take it anymore, I ask him to pull over.
“What?” He seems startled.
“Do it, or I’ll jump out of the car.”
“Tessie, what are you doing?” His eyes widen as I begin pulling off my seat belt.
“Being a sexy woman in control.” I grin at him as he pulls the car to the side of the road, earning us honks and angry glares from other drivers.
Removing my seat belt, I move over to the driver’s side and straddle Cole’s lap.
“I think I’m getting my mojo back.” I loop my arms around his neck.
“Your mojo?” His smile is a little bit cautious, like he’s wondering if his girlfriend has gone batshit crazy, oh well.
“I’ll try out for the dance team when I get back, and maybe the student newspaper.”
His eyes dance with delight and mischief. “Really? I’ll get to see you in that itty-bitty uniform?”
I laugh and kiss him. “You and probably every other guy on campus, mister.”
This makes him scowl. “Why don’t you just stick with the newspaper; I’m sure that’ll keep you occupied enough.”
“No way,” we kiss again, “I’m going back and fitting in, and if that means getting over my stupid fears, then I will.”
“And you,” I clutch handfuls of his hair and pull his mouth to mine, “are going to stop acting like you’re on a man period.”
He starts to choke. “I don’t act like…” I slap my hand over his mouth. “Shut up and make out with me.”
His voice is muffled beneath my hands. “Kinda difficult to do when I can’t even breathe.” His lips tickle my fingers, and I remove my hand.
“Are you drunk?” His hands settle on my back, moving lower until he’s palming my behind.
“Just a little liquid courage.”
He shakes his head. “Drunk Tessie always tries taking advantage of my innocence.”
I swat his shoulder. “You haven’t been innocent since the day you discovered your first facial hair.”
He gives me a disarming smile. “Now that, Shortcake, is the truth. What were you saying about making out again?”
***
Sarah’s studying in our room when I get in, still feeling the after-effects of the beers I chugged down before leaving for school. I must look like a total mess with wild hair and swollen lips, and she gives me a sly look.
“In the car? Really, Tessa?” She shakes her head, her shoulders quaking with humor.
“Hey, it didn’t get that far. Cole has a thing with not letting drunk girls maul him.” I fall onto my bed.
“That I do.” Cole walks in and drops my bag at the foot of the bed. “You need anything else, baby?”
“Just a really long nap.”
“If you want to go out to eat when you wake up, call me. I just have to go home and do damage control. Eric really isn’t into clean living spaces ever since his girlfriend left him…again.”
“She’ll be back by next week, right?” I mumble, fighting sleep and exhaustion.
“Give or take a few days. Sleep well, Tessie.” I remember him taking off my shoes and pulling the blanket over me, kissing my forehead before he leaves.
I hear Sarah sigh, “You’re so lucky.”
I don’t respond but silently agree, “I’m so lucky.”