Epilogue
Susannah shivered and adjusted the warm furs and blanket around her, leaning against Colin more heavily, smiling when his arm around her tightened at once.
They’d spent almost a month in Scotland, touring the countryside a little, seeing the wealth and splendor and beauty of that majestic place, and they’d even been so fortunate as to spend some time with Duncan Bray’s cousin Graeme, laird of the MacLaine clan, in their historic and splendid keep, with the warm and very bustling clan. Such hospitality had been unexpected, but very pleasant, and they had received invitations to return at any time.
Thankfully, however, most of the time they had spent in Scotland had been just the two of them. It had been years since Susannah had been so much herself, without her child to think of or her life to fear. Colin was rather quickly, and efficiently, eviscerating all such fears and horrid memories. They had laughed a great deal, and talked even more.
It was the best sort of fun she could ever have imagined they would have together.
She had never known a marriage could be this way. Granted, her experience with marriage was rather skewed and unpleasant, but even the marriages she had seen up close had never been anything of this nature. Her years of friendship with Colin underscored everything, and the love and desire so addictive and ever-present had been built upon that foundation of trust and understanding. The emotions they felt were so deep, so consuming, and was acutely overwhelming for them both, but it was beginning to feel more natural and easy.
Now they were riding back to England, and would be back in London with their family in a matter of a few days. It was bittersweet, to be sure, as the time alone had been rejuvenating and beautiful, and more of that would surely be appreciated. But they missed the children, and Kit would likely go mad if they stayed away any longer. According to Colin, Kit had grown immensely since the girls had arrived, and was a wonderful guardian, but he was used to Colin being there to take some of the workload. He was not entirely sure his brother had been equipped with the proper endurance for tending all four of them, no matter how Mrs. Creighton or their friends stepped in to help.
They had brought several presents for all of them, and more grand furs for Tibby, which would delight her. She had been a godsend from the day Susannah had met her, and for Colin, even more. There would never be a proper way to thank her for that.
Christmas was soon approaching, and there would be much to see to from almost the moment they arrived. It would be best to get what rest she could on the journey in.
To her surprise, the carriage rolled to a stop. They could not have been very far into England at this point, and had only changed horses an hour ago. They should not have stopped for some time yet.
She sat up in confusion and looked around. Her heart slammed against her ribs as the imposing edifice of Pavel House met her gaze. It looked much worse than how she had left it, now appearing from the outside as horrific as the inside had ever been. Her stomach clenched in apprehension and she wondered faintly if she might be sick.
Colin brushed past her to exit the carriage, jostling it a bit with the movement. He turned and held out his hand. “Come on,” he urged softly.
She looked at his hand, swallowing hard, then met his gaze, pleading wordlessly.
He pressed his hand out further, his eyes full of understanding. “Come,” he murmured again.
This was not the same thing, she reminded herself. Colin was not her former husband, and this house would never again hold the same horrors. She would always be safe with her hand in his.
She exhaled softly and put her hand in his, which he instantly rubbed soothingly.
When she was down at settled at his side he cupped her cheek and kissed her brow. “It’s all right,” he whispered against her skin.
She remained still beneath his lips, breathing in the comforting scent of him, her hands holding herself steady against his chest.
Eventually, Colin eased away and she looked up at him, finding strength in his eyes. She nodded once, then turned and scowled at the house. “Why would you bring me back here?” she muttered, letting him take her arm and lead her away from the carriage. “I hate this place.”
“No, you hate this house,” Colin corrected. “Which is perfect, because I think it is an eyesore and there is no way my son is inheriting this grotesque thing.”
Susannah frowned in confusion and looked up at him. “Wait, what?”
He returned her look with one of his own, and snorted. “Freddie can’t possibly live here, and no wife of his would want to.”
Susannah stopped and put a hand on his chest, her mind whirling under his words and the implications of them. “Hold on. Your son?”
Colin shrugged once, his eyes the barest bit uncertain. “I’ve arranged to make him a Gerrard.”
Her heart soared to the heavens. “You did what?”
He beamed at her then, his blue eyes dancing against the grey of the skies. “The meeting with my solicitor before we left? Mr. Goulding was present and we set everything up. He is mine now.”
Susannah swallowed, tilting her head up at him. “Can you even do that?”
“Not really,” he said with a wince. “But I’m not a peer and Freddie’s been irreversibly declared illegitimate, so not very many people will care.” He sighed and took her hands. “The best I can do is become his guardian, and now, legally, I am his guardian, save for you. I can’t actually make him mine, but that’s a formality. I will treat him as if he is mine. This is as binding a thing as I can make it. He can keep the last name if you want, but…”
Susannah surged on her toes to grab his face and kiss him, pouring every bit of love, passion, and gratitude she had searing her bones at this moment into her lips. His response was enthusiastic, as always, and his arms clamped tightly around her.
“No,” Susannah murmured, slowly lowering herself back down to earth with a hint of a groan. “No, Freddie is a Gerrard now.”
Colin smiled and his throat worked for a moment. “Good,” he finally said, roughly.
Susannah was near to tears herself. She wet her lips and cocked a brow at him. “Now what’s this about the house?”
The wild grin that was so her husband was back in place. “It’s his. I took care of the cousin, he’s enjoying the prospect of the Shropshire estate Loughton left behind.”
She gaped for a moment. “You hate Shropshire,” she said in awe.
Colin chuckled and lifted his brows knowingly. “I know. It was a most excellent trade. So,” he said, turning to look at Pavel House with an appraising eye, “the house is to be demolished within a fortnight, and an architect is meeting with us in London when we get back, and I will leave the new name of the house to your creative genius.” He gave her a bold wink and squeezed the hand he had somehow taken hold of.
Unable to believe what was happening, Susannah could only listen and smile.
“Freddie talks about a tree all the time, I am assuming that one?” Colin asked, pointing to the old oak on the green nearby. “So we will keep that, obviously. He won’t need this place for a while, so there is plenty of time to make things perfect, and when he’s old enough to understand and have a voice, we can work out what sort of an entail to put on the place so it need never fall out of his hands again.”
Susannah stared at him, open mouthed, her eyes welling up. He had thought of everything, for her and for her son. Their son. They really were a family, and nothing would ever convince anyone otherwise.
Colin caught her expression and turned to face her, capturing her other hand as well and holding them close to his chest. “I know your memories of this place are horrible, the stuff of nightmares. But you spoke of the land and the gardens with longing. I couldn’t help myself, and Freddie deserves his rightful inheritance. But if you wish it, I’ll put a stop to everything. You are his mother, and…”
Swallowing back tears, she pulled one hand free and covered his mouth, fighting for control. “And you are his father,” she told him in a slightly choked voice. “I see the way he looks at you, Colin. You are his father, in every way that matters. And that you would do something like this for our son…”
She shook her head and cupped his face. “I didn’t think I could love you any more than I did, but somehow I do. Thank you, my love.”
He kissed her then, slowly, lingering, savoring every delicious caress, cradling her body against his. Then he slid his hands down her arms and interlaced their fingers. “Come on, sweetheart,” he whispered, his nose touching hers. “Let’s go plot the destruction of this hellhole and plant our dreams for the future.”
Susannah sighed as he tugged her towards the house. “I don’t care what the future is anymore, so long as you’re with me.”
He looked down at her with a tender smile. “I’ll never be anywhere else, darling. I am always and forever yours, yours to command and direct and obey as you will.”
She quirked a brow and a half smile. “Obey? Really?”
He hesitated, wincing a little. “Well, within reason.”
“Oh, so now your fealty has exceptions?” she asked with a roll of her eyes. “That is a promising condition for you.”
“Marriage is not exactly convenient,” he protested. “Compromises must be made.”
“Not convenient?” she screeched playfully. “What, you are inconvenienced by a loving and devoted wife in your bed every night? I will gladly remove such an impediment if that is the case, for the sake of your blessed compromise.”
“Don’t you dare.”
Susannah laughed merrily as her husband pulled her flush against him and tried to walk and seduce her at the same time, which led to nothing more than their mutual laughter and a few scattered kisses as they proceeded forward.
Their future may have been uncertain, as the future always is, but their joy was anything but.
And who could resist a prospect such as that?