We had just finished dinner when I turned on the Bluetooth speaker and played our wedding song, C-R-E-A-M by Wu-Tang Clan. I watched my woman’s face light up. Being married in Vegas had been wild. We had gone to a random club on the strip, and this was the first song we heard so we made it ours. Pharis knew every goddamn word.
“Dance with me, baby,” I said, taking her hand and leading her to the middle of the dining room.
Falling into my arms, Pharis locked her fingers around my neck whispering, “Always.”
Finding our rhythm, I had her tight against my chest when she crooned, “So I got with a sick ass clique and went all out catchin’ keys from across the seas.”
While I doubt she even knew what it meant, for me it was the most beautiful track I had ever heard.
I had my head in my hands when my FaceTime alert went off.
Swiping quickly, I saw her face and forced myself to calm the fuck down.
“I’m back,” she said so sweetly.
“Did you make him cry?”
“I said what I had to say,” she smiled. “But enough about me. How are you?”
“Superstar,” I gritted out, clutching the phone. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Eddie, shh,” she whispered. “I don’t know how long I have, but you need to know something.”
“What’s that?”
“I would do it all over again to have had this second chance with you.”
Gutted, I wiped my tears and was about to speak when her phone started shaking.
She was running out of oxygen.
Watching Pharis shut her eyes and her mouth involuntarily open wider for oxygen that wasn’t available, was torture. With practically the entire city of Detroit’s finest here working on finding her, Aaron and Butch made it clear I stayed on the phone with Pharis.
They were right.
I owed her this.
To be the last voice she hears.
Because unless we found her within the next thirty minutes, she would close her eyes and never open them again. And if there was ever a time to say what needs to be said, it was now.
I had waited too long as it was.
Focusing on my wife’s beautiful face, I finally managed to say, “I love you.”
Her gasp cost her as did the fresh tears, but I had to keep going. “I could never say the words because love can’t describe how I feel about you. I love you isn’t enough. Far as I know, another word hasn’t been invented yet. To me those words slighted you. You shouldn’t have to settle, so I tried to show you instead. Should have said the words, Pharis. Should have made my own fucking words.”
She was quiet for a moment before saying, “Was that so hard?”
And I couldn’t help the heartbroken laugh that escaped me. Staring at the woman who owned me heart and soul, even as she was struggling to breathe, to stay calm. With panic riding her, and death nearby, she still smiled for me.
She still loved me.
“Eddie,” she said with a short breath. “Don’t forget about me.”
Holding back my rage, I vowed, “I will never forget you. You’re my wife, my life, my superstar.”
“Find her,” she sniffled. “Make her pay.”
“Who, baby?” I begged clutching the phone. “Who!”
“Emily,” she said fading right before my eyes.
Oh God, I was losing her. “Talk to me!”
“She said Butch would know where to find me. I told you earlier.”
She hadn’t told me earlier because she was doped up. Finally answers! Roaring his name, I looked up at Butch to see he was as lost as me. But when it clicks, we both sprang into action.
“I’m coming, Pharis! You hold the fuck on! I’m coming!”
We were loading up into Aaron’s truck on the way to Emily’s with all units when Pharis started gasping and panicking in earnest. Covering the mic, Butch met my eyes. “This is it, Eddie. She's out of time.”
“No!”
“Comfort her, calm her, let her know you’re here.”
With my friend’s arm around me to lend strength, I said, “Relax for me, superstar. Stop fighting. It’s okay. I’m here, it’s okay.”
Her gasps were becoming fewer and far between. I clutched the phone and told her, “I love you, Pharis Ellis. Until the day I fucking die and when that day arrives, I’m coming for you, superstar. This isn’t over.”
Through tears, I watched from my end of the phone as my wife took her final breaths.
And when the phone fell from her hand, it landed sideways perched on her breast giving me a final look at her face.
Mouth no longer gaping open, eyes were closed, her face was relaxed.
She was still.
So still.
My wife wasn’t just gone.
My wife had suffered.
For loving me, she paid the ultimate price.