Zeva
At last, I arrive at the hospital. I pull up right on the sidewalk near the entrance. I rush inside and demand to see Tammi. Once they show me to her room one look from her smiling face lets me know that she's okay. At least she appears okay.
"Are you alright? Tammi, I was so worried," I say with downcast eyes. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. What would I’ve done if I lost you?"
I'm crying soft tears and bend and bury my head in her lap when she speaks up. "It's okay darlin'. I'm fine really. Don't you worry."
"You're like a mother to me," I say quietly. "The only mother I have. Without you, I'm an orphan."
"I'm going to be released tomorrow, that means it wasn't so bad,” she replies gruffly.
I look up at her through tear-stained eyes, "You are?"
"Yes,” she says nodding. “Doc said my wounds weren't that deep apparently. All this fuss over nothing."
I breathe out a sigh of relief, "Thank God."
"See, it's okay like I said,” she reassures me.
"Well, what can I do?” I ask. “Do you want me to take you home?"
"No hon. I've decided to leave town for a while. Things are getting too crazy around here and I'm not prepared to go through another war. My sister's coming to pick me up. I'm gonna stay with her in NYC until this whole thing blows over."
"You're leaving?" I ask, my eyes going wide. I'm sad at the prospect of not having her to confide in but I'm happy that she'll be safe. Hell, if I didn't have the men I'd probably be packing my suitcase myself.
"Zeva, I want you to come with me,” she says. When I don’t answer she continues. “Wouldn't it be fun to stay in the city for a while? We could go together. Please Zeva, I need you to be safe also."
The idea is appealing, but I know in my heart I can't leave here. I need to stay and make sure everything’s alright.
"Oh Tammi, I want to go with you,” I say and her eyes light up. “I really do. But...I can't leave. I'm in too deep now. Please understand."
She sighs a breath of knowing like she saw this coming. "I figured you'd say that but I had to ask. I hope these guys appreciate you after all.”
"Thank you, Tammi, thank you for your offer. And I promise that they do care for me."
"Okay then. I'll be in touch. I will call you with my sister's phone number."
"I will," I promise. I leave the hospital grateful in my heart that she's okay. I was imagining the worst and I thank God that she made it through seemingly untouched. Her wounds were not as bad as they could have been for sure, just surface stuff from the look of it.
"Thanks, Tammi," I feel bad not accepting her offer but I have to. "But I can't leave. I just can't leave."
"Hmm, so things are turning out to be different with them,” Tammi says with a twinkle in her eye. “Zeva, is it sounding like you might be their old lady."
"Well, we did talk about love,” I admit.
"Sounds pretty real,” she says wryly.
"Yes!” I declare. “I love them, each of them...so much."
"That’s good honey, but you have to be careful. Try to guard your heart a little. You realize that as long as they stay the biker route they’re all gonna die young. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it's just the truth."
I shake my head. I’ve known this for a while.
"I know," I say sadly. "And Tammi I know that you feel the pain from losing your man. I've talked to them about leaving or becoming legitimate but they consider the whole thing a family legacy. I don't know what to do to change their minds."
"Yeah well, you can't change a man I guess,” she says with a sigh. “They have to learn it on their own."
"I wish I could change them, Tammi, just on this one thing."
Tammi looks at me as I say those words and nods.
"Trust me, so do I,” she says quietly. “I tried to have the same discussion with my man and he saw it like that too, through the lens of family. And he was stubborn as all hell and guess what? I had to watch him die in my arms. For what? An ill-conceived notion about loyalty? I wish he had been as loyal to me as he was to that damn club."
"I know Tammi, I'm so worried. I thought about how I might as well die if something happened to any of them. That's not healthy. And then I think about you and how you've endured. You've really been strong Tammi and I don't want to have to be that way. I don't want to have to be strong. I want to come to it a different way."
"I know babe. I know. That's why my greatest advice is that you come with me. Let this thing blow over and then see about men."
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t even consider what she was saying.
Just leave it all. Get away from all of this madness?
"Well, Tammi,” I sigh again. “I can’t.”
"Alright, well you know where to find me. I hope you're right and that things turn out fine."
"Okay Tammi, thanks,” I say, a tear rolling down my eye. “I'll be in touch."
She looks at me one last time – as if her look will convince me.
"I'll miss you Tammi," I say as I kiss her on her forehead and get up to leave. I better head back to Wade's soon now that I know Tammi's okay.
"Goodbye sweetheart, take care of yourself," she says as she sees me get up.
I leave and take a minute to just consider what she's said. She is alone now because of the exact mess I'm in. Am I willing to go through more grief in exchange for love? I decide I better get back before anyone notices I'm gone.
I’m going to begin my journey back to Wade's place. I wonder if Jason will have noticed that I left. I hope not because I don't want to endure his wrath. But, he would have to understand that I needed to check on Tammi. It's such a good thing she's leaving and I'm sure they will be happy to hear it too.
I feel that familiar rush of emotion at the thought of seeing Jason. I haven't even had a chance to reflect on the fact that he changed my life last night. It was so worth being with him. He was amazing and I will never forget the way he handled me with such furious passion and yet tender care too. My heart flutters at the thought of it happening again. I know that I should probably be leaving town like most people are likely doing, but the thought of leaving these guys to possibly die here is too great a burden. I need them and that need is what makes me stay.
I head outside. Before I get two feet past the door though a hand is over my mouth and someone has my legs.
Fuck. I know it's them. I don't even have to look.
It's The Iron Legion and they’ve found me.