LIV

 

Waking up with a pounding headache, I blink back the curse that sits on the tip of my tongue. I take in the whitewashed sterile walls of the hospital room and pull myself into a sitting position. In films and books, when people have been in hospital, they wake up to a group of family and friends who fall upon them, cooing with joy that the person is awake. I wake up to an empty room. “Figures,” I mutter, falling back on the bed. An internal door swings open making me jump, and Toby bursts through it.

“Liv.” He rushes out barrelling over to me. “Bloody typical, the minute I go to take a piss, you wake up,” he huffs, taking a seat next to me.

“Just the vision I wanted.” I deadpan, raising an eyebrow.

Toby hangs his head, and I give him the time he needs. I know him so well. He wants to apologise, but he’s trying to think of exactly the right words.

“There’re no words I can throw at you to excuse myself,” he tells me, meeting my eyes with his. I nod. He’s right, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love him. He needed to acknowledge his behaviour, and he has. “I’m sorry, Liv. I’m still not entirely sure what happened.” His head drops down again. “Everything just built and exploded. I guess there was too much… past, present, and foreseeing my future in the same way.”

“What way?” I ask.

“In Isaac’s shadow.”

I frown. There’s nothing I can say. I’m surprised and a little pissed off at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“You said that already,” I snap.

“Liv?” His head bolts up, his questioning gaze meets my angry one.

“He’s your brother and your best friend,” I hiss out. “For years he’s been stuck inside a prison cell, and you’ve had your family and friends around you. How could you possibly be in his damn shadow?” I hurl the words at him.

Toby pinches the bridge of his nose, and I sigh. “I’m sorry.” I find myself repeating his words back to him.

“I guess I never felt like I was good enough. Like I was the poor imitation of my big brother. Just not quite hitting the mark.” His tone is one of defeat.

“You were always good enough,” I tell him and his returning smile relaxes me.

Toby grabs my hand in his. “I know, Liv. Although, you and I only started dancing together after he went to prison.”

I open my mouth about to argue then close it again. He’s right. I used to dance with Isaac. The only time I danced with Toby was when Isaac wasn’t around. “I didn’t know it bothered you,” I tell him.

“It didn’t.” The corner of his mouth twitches and I slap him on his bicep.

“Wanker.”

He bursts into laughter.

“Are we good?” he asks as we both fall silent.

“Always, Toby.” My words are warm. “No more smashing mirrors, okay?”

He blanches. “No, not again.”

Some grudges are worth holding onto, and some actions demand harsher consequences. There are those people who would have made it harder for Toby. Although I’m still annoyed by his actions, I feel like I should give him some leniency. The number of times over the last few years he’s helped me out, saved me, cared for me—times that other people have no idea about—I owe him a little understanding.

“You like Shelly,” I state.

“I like Shelly.” He parrots me, and I’m shocked he admits his feelings so freely.

“Does Isaac know?” I question.

He shrugs. “Probably now.” He can’t stop the smirk that spreads across his face.

I blow out a breath, not knowing what to say. Toby doesn’t seem too worried, and I narrow my eyes at him. “What aren’t you telling me, Tobias?” I bark.

“If there’s something I’m keeping from you, and I’m not saying there is, then it would indicate that it’s something I can’t tell you.”

Rolling my eyes, I purse my lips. “Good job you’re not a spy, Toby. You’d be crap at it.”

He forces a chuckle, and I shake my head. Tiredness overcomes me, so I close my eyes, letting sleep take me away again.

 

 

The next morning when I wake I really am alone, but only for about ten minutes until my mum and dad enter and fawn all over me.

“You’ve come to take me home?”

“We have,” my mum tells me, fussing.

“I’m going back to my place,” I emphasise.

My mum opens her mouth to say something, but my dad steps in. “Yes, if that’s what you want?” I nod. “You know you’re always welcome home, baby,” he offers, and a glisten of emotion coats my eyes before I blink it away and nod in reply.

“Thanks, Dad,” I whisper. He squeezes my hand as my mum continues gathering my belongings. “Love you both,” I tell them and my mum comes over and cuddles me.

“Love you too, my baby,” she murmurs into my hair, while Dad mouths I love you to me.

 

 

“What the actual fuck?” Helena shouts, slamming her bag down on the armchair. “I go away for one bloody weekend, and all hell breaks loose!”

“It’s fine, everything’s fine,” I soothe, patting the seat next to me. She sits down and turns around to face me crossing her legs like we’re still in primary school.

“Well, you look okay,” she decides, moving to look at the side of me.

“I’m fine. It’s going to be a couple of days until the bandage can come off my hand, and I’ll need to have the stitches out in about ten days, but I feel okay,” I tell her.

“What about work?” she asks, and I shrug.

“I guess I’ll wear gloves for a bit.” I wink.

She doesn’t look convinced, but she also doesn’t say anything further about it. “Right, well, you with that gammy hand—”

“My hand is not gammy!” I splutter.

“Whatever.” She shrugs. “You’re not going to be able to cook. I’m making pasta, you want some?”

“Please.” I smile fluttering my eyelashes for effect. Helena shakes her head and gets up to make us dinner.

Picking up my phone I toy with it. I desperately want to call Isaac, but what would I say?

Hi, I’m okay.

The hospital was boring.

I’m going back to work now.

We have so much to catch up on.

What happened to you over the last five years?

Yeah, definitely not the last one.

Puffing out a breath I sink back into the corner of the sofa deciding not to text him. My life was easier before Isaac came back, but at the same time, I can’t deny that I’m glad he’s here. A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts.

“Oi, sunshine, no lazing about, we have company,” Helena shouts from the hall then Holly appears in the doorway.

“Hey, Hol’s,” I greet. Her face is slightly red as she blows a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Whatcha got there?” My questioning gaze lingers on the mini suitcase she has at her feet.

“You, get a chair, I’m doing your extensions,” she answers pointing at me.

I can’t help the smile that erupts. I was supposed to call her to set up an appointment, but with everything that’s happened, it keeps getting pushed into the background. “Cool,” I whisper and rise from the sofa to get a chair.

 

 

“What do you think?”

“It looks bloody amazing,” I say twirling like a kid in front of my full-length mirror. Holly’s been working on my hair for hours, but I now have a platinum blonde mane down to my waist, making my tats stand out more. It looks incredible, and I feel great. I’m honestly over the moon.

“I’m so damn good,” Holly replies taking a little bow.

Snorting at her, I smile and grab her around the waist. She squeals as I squeeze tight, trying to pick her up. My hair looks amazing, and I’m not even thinking about the fact that Isaac prefers my hair long.

Not even a little.

Not at all.