LIV

 

I pinch myself then hiss through my teeth at the pain. I had to feel it, though. I had to know if everything I’ve witnessed, all I’ve been through in the last few hours is real. The man holding me in his arms is tall and wide, but I already know he’s a gentle giant. I know he’s safe because he was with Isaac. As he looks down at me, I know for certain because both worry and kindness fill his eyes.

I hear footsteps approach fast from the left and when they get nearer, I flinch.

“Careful movements,” my gentle giant warns.

“Sorry, Kane asked me to bring this for her.”

“Give it to her.”

I see another man come around to my side, he’s not as tall as Mr Gentle, but his eyes are just as kind. I take in his blond hair and scruffy beard—he reminds me of a mountain man. Smiling, he hands me a bottle of water. I try to return his smile gratefully, but my guess is that it comes out like more of a grimace, when he stares at me sadly.

“Thank you,” I wheeze to the mountain man.

“Don’t speak, sweetheart,” he replies.

There’s a growl from behind us which I recognise as Isaac, and I jolt.

“Shhh, try to remain still,” gentle giant murmurs.

I force my body to relax and my chest to expand as I take a couple sips of water. I know Isaac is behind us, and I need to talk to him, but my ribs, back, face, and chest all hurt, plus I still have to process what I saw.

Isaac hacked a man’s head off.

Right. Fucking. Off.

For me…

I still have his blood splattered across my bare chest. I don’t know what I thought Isaac’s job was, but it wasn’t this. I guess I had some romantic notion about the Army. The truth, however, doesn’t come close. Back there he was someone else, a man possessed, a man on a mission.

A man in love…

A phone starts ringing, and I can hear a disjointed conversation which sounds like Isaac, but my head is so fuzzy I could be imagining it. My gentle giant stops walking when we reach a black car, he places me in the back and bends down.

“You’re safe now. You know that right?” he tells me softly. I nod in reply, but gasp as pain slashes through my head. “Take it easy,” he orders quietly before moving away.

Carefully, I lay my head back and close my eyes.

“Via.” That one word still elicits all the butterflies in my body to come alive and whirl around at speed.

Opening my eyes, I blink and look at Isaac. He’s crouched down next to the open door of the car. His face is soft, loving, if a little fearful. He’s my Isaac again. But as I blink, the images of him chopping at that man’s neck haunt me, and I can’t help but recoil.

He sighs and shuffles backwards a little creating more space between us.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to see me right now.”

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I don’t know what to say. Right at this moment, I’m not sure if he’s wrong or right in his assumption.

“You’ve been through hell, you’ll want to speak to someone, plus you’ll want your mum or dad, someone you love with you,” his voice breaks, and I want to cry.

“I… I s-still love you,” I manage to rasp out.

He smiles at me and warily raises his arm, his fingers reaching out to touch my face, but I shrink in my seat. His hand whips back, and as his sad gaze meets mine I look away, avoiding eye contact. It seems best at this point. I can’t help the automatic reaction of my body. I’m still terrified by what I’ve seen.

“You may still love me, but that will fade. You’ll get over it. I’m not the right man for you, Via, I never was,” he tells me tenderly.

“Isaac.”

“No. I should have kept away. I’m dirty, soiled. I’m not a good man, and now you’ve seen that, now you understand the darkness inside me.”

“I, I don’t know what I want. I need some time. Can you give me time?” I plead, knowing I just need to take a breath, have a moment, and work this shit through in my head.

“Times up, Via. We were never right.” He shrugs as his face changes. Indifference fills his eyes, alongside arrogance. Once again, this isn’t him. I open my mouth to speak, but he gets there first. His eyes are filled with grief and sorrow for a second before they turn blank.

“My mum called. I’m sorry after all that’s happened to you, I have to tell you that Uncle Dane has died.”

“What?” Shock takes hold of me.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know any more than that.” He shrugs like it’s all the same to him. Then nods his head to a figure standing outside the car. “Victor here is a good guy. He’s going to drive you to the hospital. Your roommate, Helena, is already on her way. I’ll call Toby and ask him to meet you there. See you around, Olivia.” My full name on his lips burns, and I swallow the pain into my soul, adding it to the rest. Isaac stands before I have a chance to do or say anything more and slams the car door, walking away.

“Hi, I’m Victor, I’m just going to drive you to the hospital, okay?” a tall, tanned, and tattooed man says sliding into the driver’s seat. I don’t answer him, I can’t. Uncontrolled tears once again roll down my face. Watching out the window as the car turns around, I spot Shelly, Isaac’s supposed girlfriend. The same one he swore he wasn’t really dating. She seems to be having heated words with him, her arms flail about, and she points her finger toward him, then me. Fuck, maybe he has been with her this whole time, and she’s found out what happened between him and me.

He glances over at me and notices I’m staring. Isaac winks and salutes a goodbye, then suddenly he pulls Shelly into his arms and kisses her hard.

“Bastard!” The word rips free from my mouth in feral scream before a sob erupts from the very bottom of my now shattered heart.

I turn around.

I face forward.

I decide never to look back.

Never again.