LIV

 

I ran away from Isaac.

Well, that’s not entirely true, I didn’t run away. I just told him I needed time, and that wasn’t a lie. With Aunt Libby dying, I needed to spend some time with my parents, and honestly, the little information Isaac has told me so far left my mind reeling.

How much more is there?

What else is he going to tell me?

But… the real reason I took some time? I keep trying to push it from my mind.

What if the secret he tells me does makes me see him differently?

I’m scared.

Part of me thinks that if he confesses something horrendous, something that would cause my love for him to fade, it would be a bonus. Then I could move on, and I’d be free of my feelings for him.

The real me—the one I try to keep locked away, the small part that’s still a teenage girl on the inside—that part is scared of knowing the truth in case it makes me see him differently. I’m not sure I could handle my fantasy being shattered.

“How are you feeling?” Helena asks, poking her head around my bedroom door.

“I’m okay. Surviving,” I reply with a tight lipped smile.

She shuffles in and sits on the side of my bed. “Liv, I’m not sure if this is the right thing to say, especially because I never liked Isaac. Well, I mean I never knew him.” She shrugs. “But from all the things you told me and how sad you always were whenever he was mentioned, I obviously hated him. BFF rules, right?” she says the last sentence with sarcasm in her tone, and I giggle. Helena is probably the least likely person I know to be preppy and use titles such as BFF, even though she is my best friend and hopefully will be forever.

“Yes, Hel, BFF rules.” I deadpan arching my eyebrow at her.

“Anyway, I digress. As I said, I’m thinking this time you might need to give him a chance. Spend some time with him, if nothing else he’ll hopefully help you mourn your aunt. Just… guard your heart a little, okay? Be careful.”

“Thanks, Hel.” I pull her in for a hug and ponder over her words. I suppose I can’t hide from Isaac forever, but I’m going to take another day. It’s been a week, one more day won’t hurt.

“You wanna go to Casper’s tonight?” I ask, propping my pillow behind me and sitting back against the wall. My fingertips tap a rhythm on my thigh, I desperately have the urge to dance.

Her smile drops. “I can’t. That’s the other reason I popped in here. I’m taking off for a few days.”

I lurch forward. “What’s wrong?”

“My nan is still poorly. She’s back in hospital.”

“Shit,” I throw out. Helena’s nan has been poorly on and off for a few weeks now. She was in hospital with flu when we had Aunt Libby’s funeral, but she had gotten better and went home a week ago. It seems she wasn’t as well as they thought.

“I’m sure she’ll be okay, she’s a tough old bird,” Helena jests, but there’s concern in her voice, too.

“I’m here if you need me, I’m just a call away,” I tell her, and she nods. “When are you going?” I ask.

“I’m leaving for the station in about twenty minutes. Gramps only called me last night to let me know, so I got a last-minute ticket. You were already in bed, I didn’t want to wake you,” she explains.

“Listen,” I demand grabbing her bicep. “If something like this happens again, you wake me straight away, okay?”

Helena smiles then pulls out of my hold with a chuckle. “You’re a nutter, you know that, right? But I love ya, girl,” she says.

“Back at ya.” I wink. “Right, I’m going to throw some clothes on then walk to the train station and see you off.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she protests.

“I know, but I want to.”

Helena wrinkles her nose. “No shower?”

“Cheeky cow!” I retort with a smirk. “I’m going to the studio after. Once I dance, I’ll have a shower there. Is that okay, mum?” She rolls her eyes at my sass.

“Get your arse in gear then.” Helena smiles, jumping off the bed and strolling out of the room.

“Do you know how long you’ll be gone?” I ask Helena ten minutes later as we walk toward the station. I’m concerned as her normal small weekend suitcase is noticeably absent, and in its place is a huge—two weeks in Tenerife—suitcase, which only tells me I might lose her for a while.

“I don’t know. Allegro has given me an extended leave period from ShadowBox, and Sam told me he’d keep my chair at Eternal,” she explains, using the nickname for the tattoo shop she owns a chair at Eternal Sin Ink.

“I should hope so, you own that chair,” I reply.

She doesn’t say anything, just shrugs.

I open my mouth to talk about the tattoo that I still haven’t had done yet when I’m interrupted.

“Liv.” I hear a deep voice shout from across the street. Helena and I both stop and glance across the road.

“Oh, hi, Noah,” I greet the tall sexy man as he crosses over and heads in our direction. Every time I see this guy, I feel like I need to pinch myself because he can’t be real. Nobody looks this film-star gorgeous in real life. But yep, Noah Maitland, school teacher, dancer, and seemingly all-around nice guy is bloody hot. There’s one thing he doesn’t have, though, one thing Isaac has in spades—danger. There’s an edge to Isaac, a darkness. The guy standing in front of me is all light, and he cannot take his eyes off my best friend.

“Noah Maitland, Helena Todd,” I say introducing them.

“Hi,” they murmur simultaneously, eyeing each other with very obvious interest pouring off the both of them.

“Hel, you’ll miss your train.” I nudge her as the staring continues.

“Oh, shit yeah.” She fumbles around in her pocket and whips out her phone. “Ten minutes until my train. Fuck!” she shouts and starts running, dragging the elephant-sized suitcase behind her.

“Bollocks,” I snap and run after her. As we pound the pavement, Noah passes me with ease and pulls her suitcase from her hand. She falters for a second, but I hear him say, “I’ve got this,” like he’s taking a stroll next to her—there’s no panting, huffing, or puffing. I know he dances, so he’s healthy, but I’m fit, too, and even I’m wheezing heavily now. We reach the station and just have time to catch our breaths before Helena’s train comes. I pull her into me for a hug and hold her close. “Love you,” I whisper.

“I love you, too.” She pulls back and glances over my shoulder before her eyes come back to me. “Is that the guy you went for coffee with, and is he free?” She grins.

“Yes and yes,” I reply.

“Keep me posted and put in a good word.” She winks.

“Will do. Hug your grandparents for me.”

She smiles while nodding and gets onto the train. I wait until it’s left the station and then allow my heart to deflate. She will come back.

She will come back.

“So…”

I start at Noah’s voice. I’d forgotten he was standing next to me. My heart does a river dance in my chest from both the running and the fright he gave me.

“So,” I echo his word. “You like my friend?” I question, arching my eyebrow and trying not to laugh.

His eyes widen. “I know we went for coffee, but I, well—”

I cut him off with a giggle. “It’s okay. God, I can’t watch you try to explain yourself. You’re a good guy, Noah, you know that?” I need a bad one, I can’t help but think. “I think she liked you, too,” I tell him, and his face lights up.

“What can I say, I have a thing for tats,” he tells me shyly.

“You want her number?” I ask.

“Yeah, if you don’t think she’ll mind?”

“I don’t think she’ll mind,” I reply.

We both turn and walk out of the train station. “Where are you going?” I ask him.

“To the dance studio, you?”

“Same,” I reply.

We walk side by side, both quiet. It’s sedate, the quiet is comfortable and easy with him.

“You want to dance with me?” he asks when we’re only a few minutes away from our joint destination.

I almost trip over at his words, and Noah quickly catches me.

“You don’t have to.” He chuckles quietly.

“No, it’s not that. Sorry.” I sigh hauling myself out of his arms. “It’s just, you surprised me.” He smiles, and we continue walking side by side. “What type of dancing do you do?” I ask.

He turns to me as we stroll along. “Most styles. Jazz, latin, contemporary, swing, street. I’m partial to ballroom, though.”

I nod as we round the corner. “Meet you in room four in five minutes?” I ask.

“Sounds good,” Noah replies before heading for the men’s changing rooms.

I enter the women’s locker room and go directly to locker thirty-eight. It’s my own personal space, so I always keep two spare sets of dance clothes and towels inside in case I decide on an impromptu session. I change my attire and grab the stilettos. I look in the mirror. “Ready to dance,” I tell myself.

“So how about a tango?” I ask Noah as I walk into the studio.

He lifts his head from digging in his bag and seems to mull it over for a moment. “It’s been years since I’ve tangoed. I might be a little rusty, but I’m game if you are?” he offers, and I can’t stop the huge grin which spreads across my face.

I love this dance, but I don’t dance it. Not with anyone, not even Toby. I always wanted to dance it with Isaac, but we never did. I know he’s been taught how to tango, just like I have. But for fun? Yeah, I can’t speak for Isaac, but this will be the first time I’ve danced it for fun. It’s a masterful sexual dance. At least that’s how I feel about it. In my heart, I know Isaac should be my partner, and I’m not sure if my offer to dance it with Noah is because there’s a small part of me that wants to rebel against my own need.

“Shall we?” Noah asks and takes his stance in the centre of the floor holding out his hand to me.

Gotan Project’s ‘Santa Maria’ sparks to life over the speaker system, and I step up to my partner.

We dance the tango, and it’s… fine. We move correctly, enjoy the music and repeat the same dance to different songs practicing until our movements are perfect, but it lacks... passion. There’s nothing beyond some choreographed shapes measured to the beat of someone else’s song. As much as I appreciate stretching my legs and trying something new with Noah, this just isn’t how I dance. I like to claim the music as mine, feel it to my bones. Today, the only thing I feel is downhearted.

“Shoot, it’s nearly one. I need to get to my sister’s,” Noah says, collecting his things and hastily shoving them into his bag.

“No worries, I’m just going to cool down,” I tell him grabbing my towel and wiping the back of my neck. I stretch and take a second to think about what I’m doing. It’s Monday, that means no classes are due until six p.m. I checked the register in the office before I came into the studio, and none of the other rooms are booked. I have the whole place to myself for hours.

“Gotta go,” Noah shouts running toward the door. “Shit,” he spits running back to me. “I forgot to give you my number.”

“Huh?” I question.

“So you can text me Helena’s number,” he tells me, his cheeks pinking slightly. Yep, totally a good guy. “Also, I’d like to think we’re friends now, right?” he says nonchalantly, but there’s an undertone of uncertainty.

“Of course,” I reply, pulling out my phone.

“Hit me with your number and I’ll text you tonight,” I tell him.

He reels off the details, and I add them to my phone before he rushes away.

I stretch for about five minutes and am just getting ready to take off my shoes and choose a new song and dance when the silence in the room is shattered.

“Finally. I thought he’d never leave.” Isaac’s deep voice throbs through my whole body, and just like that, I’m alive and buzzing.

“Y-you were watching us?” I have no idea why my words come out as a stammer, only that this man always leaves me breathless.

“Pretty boy can dance.”

“Noah,” I snap.

“Whatever. He can dance, but it’s all technical. There’s no passion, no emotion,” Isaac airs the same thought’s I’d had as he walks over to the stereo and fiddles with the music.

“I suppose you’re so different?” I ask.

“Baby, you know I am,” he retaliates striding over to me. Placing his palm on my lower back, Isaac slams my body into his. “Now we’re going to do this right.”

“Do what?” I breathe.

“Tango,” he says, and the music starts. Once again, ‘Santa Maria’ plays, but this time I know it’s going to be different. I can already feel the fraught tension between us, and as Isaac pulls me tighter, I realise this isn’t just a tango. With Noah and I there was space between our bodies, but this is Isaac’s version, and much like the Argentine Tango, we’re chest to chest. He moves me around the floor, both physically and with his aura, which fills the room. I’m a slave to him, to the music, and it infuses every modicum of my being. More than once our chins and the tips of our noses meet at exactly the same time, meaning our lips are mere millimetres apart. It’s frustrating and sexy as fucking hell.

As his legs move and his body grinds against mine with almost every movement, I’m helpless. I’m his.

Looking into his eyes, I see darkness, danger, love, and lust.

Yeah, Isaac James is not, and never has been, a good boy.

Once the song finishes, I pull away and rush to the office. I need to… I have no fucking clue what I need. Every inch of my skin tingles, and as I stop and lean over the desk, I squeeze my legs together desperately trying to control the aching in my core.

“Don’t keep running, Via. This only ends one way,” he promises.

“And that would be?” I rasp.

“With you, admitting you’re mine. Submit to your feelings, you know you want to.” He’s cocky now, but I can clearly hear the want behind his words.

His body presses against my back and a shiver runs through me. I twist my head and neck around until my eyes are locked with his.

“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice betraying the need I’m trying—and failing—to keep locked up.

“I made a mistake, Via. I went against my own nature and was waiting for you to realise you belong to me. I’ve changed my mind, your time’s up, now I’m claiming you. The decision isn’t yours anymore. I can read your body baby, and it agrees with me.” His breath tickles my neck as he speaks and my skin pebbles. “I’ll still explain everything to you in time, I promise. But for right now, I need to make sure your body remembers it’s mine and when you’re ready, your head can catch up.”

Isaac wraps my hair around his fist and pulls my head back running his nose from my collarbone up to my jawline. “Don’t think I’ve gone soft... but I missed your long hair, Via.”

I close my eyes and steady my short, shuddering breaths, trying to calm my chest from the jerky movements I display every time he’s near. “Missing my long hair would make me think you’ve gone soft… how?” I almost pant with need as I continue to press my legs together.

“Sweet talk and soft voices often give women ideas. I know you, Via, I don’t want you to get the notion this will be gentle. We have time for that, but right now I’m not that guy. In about twenty seconds, you’re going to be bent over this table, and I’m going to fuck you like a savage who hasn’t had pussy for years.”

I gasp, my mouth dropping open. “Why? You’ve had pussy recently,” I state, sure of my statement.

“Not yours,” he snaps back at me, his hot breath like a shot into my ear.

“Isaac?” My emotions are warring. I feel like an animal in heat ready for him, and I so desperately want him between my thighs right now. But at the same time, I know he’s always held my heart in a vice and depending on his words, he could loosen the hold, allowing it to beat once more… or he could strangle what little life it has left. I’ve avoided him, but I knew it would come to this. I knew.

“I could have a million women, but they’d never be you.” Although his words are affectionate, his tone’s sharp, exposing his need for me. As his hand travels down my ribs, his fingertips hit my hipbone before slipping into my knickers and finding my centre wet and waiting. I know the need I have for him is stronger, so much stronger than the little control I’m desperately holding onto, a control I’m barely able to maintain over my body whenever Isaac James is around.

He’s always been the one leading, and I’ve always followed him anywhere he’s asked. This man, even when he was a boy, could command everything and everyone. I never stood a chance back then, and I still don’t now, no matter how hard I try. Each time he left while he was in the Army, I convinced myself I could walk away from him. That when he returned, I’d be more in control, that I would find someone else and move on with my life. Then all my grand ideas washed away like old bath water every time he came home. My heart has always belonged to him, and it seems my body does, too.

With his fingers still inside me, Isaac slips his other arm across my breasts and lifts me, taking two steps until we’re standing facing the desk lengthways. With one hand, he lifts my arms up and pulls my top off, then shifts my body forward while pulling his fingers from my folds. Instantly I feel the loss. His hand moves away from my breasts and journeys around to my back pushing me over the table until my front is flush against the cold surface.

Isaac runs both thumbs along my spine. “Such a beautiful body,” he murmurs pulling my loose dance skirt down my legs along with my knickers. Without thinking, I kick away the clothes now at my feet keeping my stilettos on. His hands are like reflections of each other as they run up the backs of my legs until he palms both my arse cheeks. “This is going to be hard. I need to fuck you right now, Via. That need is the only thing I can feel, I can’t promise to be gentle.”

“Isaac…” His name comes out in a whimper as I hear rustling, he must be pulling his joggers and t-shirt off.

“Brace yourself,” he warns.

Even with his warning, I still convulse with surprise as he lifts my legs off the floor.

“Stretch your arms apart and grip the sides of the table,” he demands.

I do as he says, my breasts squashing against the desk. His hands once again move up my legs until he’s clutching my thighs. He stretches my legs apart, and I hear a low groan rumble from him.

“Fuck,” he growls.

I’m still thinking of his last word when I feel the tip of him nudging me apart. He hasn’t even entered me yet and still, I can’t help but close my eyes, biting my bottom lip with arousal.

Excruciatingly slowly Isaac pushes inside me, filling me as I adjust to him. It’s almost magical. I’ve had lots of sex, but I’ve never had sex in this way. The position opens up a whole world of new feelings, and as he seats himself inside me fully, I want him to stay there forever. Filling me, fucking me, owning me… loving me.

Isaac has no constant rhythm. He’s slow, then fast, hard then soft—it’s delicious. Every movement Isaac makes feels precise like it’s been selected especially for me, to accomplish a never ending frenzy of sensations with pleasure leading my ecstasy. Circling his hips, his dick hits just the right spot. At the same time, he leans over me and bites down on my shoulder. I explode. I can feel myself pulsing around him. Isaac moves back pulling my hair out of the way and kissing along my neck and down my spine. I thought he was fucking me hard before, but as soon as my clit stops vibrating, Isaac steps up a level and slams into me. I can hear our bodies slapping against each other and something that has never happened to me before finally happens. I come again at the same time he roars out his release but he doesn’t stop moving inside me.

The minutes rush by and my body falls deliciously limp.

Isaac leans forward fitting his body to mine and whispers in my ear, “Your body knows I’m in love with you, but do you know it, too, Via?”

His body is still attached to mine, and my heart is still attached to his.

“Yes. I know it, Isaac.”

“Fucking finally.” He breathes in my ear.