Kayla took advantage of her morning off and lingered in bed longer than usual. While there was something to be said for the feel of a man giving her pleasure, her high-end toys got the job done just fine. She knew what she liked and how she liked it, and the sad fact was, most men didn’t come close. When she was done, she was done.

Even better, her “me time” wasn’t followed by awkward “after time.” She could get up and get on with her business without having to worry about tact or platitudes.

Outside, a chilly rain dampened her plans to mow the lawn. The teenage kid she had hired to do it every week hadn’t been around as much lately, which she didn’t mind too much. Spending time outside and getting some sun and fresh air was a nice change to being in an office.

She opted for a bit of light cleaning inside and tossed in a load of laundry. Not feeling up to going to the gym, she forced herself to do an exercise video, then took a long, hot shower and dressed.

With a couple hours left before she had to go to work, she decided to swing by Brian’s house. It had been on her mind since dinner the night before, and then her dreams had been filled with memories. Some were good, some not so good. Most of it, she had put behind her a long time ago.

How things have changed, she thought, giving herself a final check in the mirror.

She wasn’t the same person she had been then. Hard lessons forced her to re-evaluate her life. It didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t easy, but she no longer looked to others for happiness or approval and was a stronger woman as a result.

The transformation had been external as well as internal. Gone was the skin-tight, vibrant clothing she used to wear, now preferring a well-washed pair of jeans, soft cotton tops, and comfortable shoes. Instead of spending hours on her hair and makeup, she just did the basics—moisturizer, some color-correcting, age-defying foundation, and a few swipes of the mascara brush. A twist and a clip, and her hair was artfully arranged in a casual, but flattering style.

Being content with who she was and not giving any fucks about anyone else was incredibly liberating.

Everything was quiet when she stepped outside and walked to her car. Like many of the older homes on her street, she didn’t have a garage. What she did have was a carport, which was enough to keep the car relatively protected from the elements.

The hairs prickled on the back of her neck, accompanied by the feeling of being watched.

She looked over at her new neighbors, discovering she had been right when she saw one of the curtains move in a second story window. Kayla thought it must have been the kid’s bedroom.

It wasn’t the first time. From time to time, she had caught fleeting glimpses of the slight figure with dark hair.

Kayla wondered absently why the girl wasn’t in school, then realized it was none of her business. If the kid wanted to ditch while her mother was working, more power to her.

Kayla made the relatively short trip to Pine Ridge. Things hadn’t changed much. The local farmer’s market was still a huge attraction. The IHOP was packed, mostly with seniors who liked to while away time over coffee and local gossip. Sean’s garage was still there, too, as was Jake’s Irish Pub. She hadn’t expected any differently. The Callaghans were a strong presence in the community, and probably would be for long after she was gone.

Dull pangs of regret speared through her as they always did when she returned to her old stomping grounds. The town held bittersweet memories for her, as did the pub. She had done things, said things she wasn’t proud of, yet she had been young and stupid. She was smarter now, wiser, but there was no changing the past.

She wondered vaguely if they still hated her, but she already knew the answer. Honestly, she didn’t blame them.

Brian’s house looked the same as she remembered it. Quaint, with white siding and dark green shutters, the Colonial sat back from the street, guarded by decades-old, stately arborvitae. Though he had been gone close to ten years, it was and always would be his place.

Kayla used her key to let herself in, a sense of déjà vu wrapping around her as she stepped over the threshold. Patricia had made plenty of changes after Brian died, but it wasn’t only the professionally redone interior design Kayla saw. Memories of how the place used to look when she and her mother lived here drifted in and out as she walked from room to room. The kitchen, where Lexi was always puttering with some new concoction. The dining room, where they would gather for holiday meals and special occasions. The living room, where Brian used to sit in his favorite recliner and watch football, just as often he would stare out the bay window, a look of such pain and longing on his face that it permeated the space around him. He had been a good man, a man who had made the mistake of opening his heart and his home to her and her mother.

He had been lonely then, a widower trying to raise his health-challenged teenage daughter on his own and having a rough time of it. In them, he had thought he’d found a woman who would ease some of that loneliness and provide his daughter with a stepmother and big sister.

How wrong he had been. Patricia didn’t have the time or patience for dealing with Lexi’s health problems, and Kayla had resented her from the get-go. Lexi was too delicate, too pretty, too fragile. Everything had always been about Lexi.

Patricia hadn’t liked it any more than Kayla had—taking second place hadn’t sat well. Oddly enough, those years had probably been the closest she had ever felt to her mother. They had been allies, united in a common purpose to be the center of their little self-serving universe.

Kayla sighed, that old resentment now nothing but a vague ache of regret. Her mid-thirties self saw things a lot differently than her seventeen-year-old self had. While Brian had probably cared for Patricia, he had already lost his croie—the love of his life. If it hadn’t been for his belief that Lexi needed a female in her life, he probably never would have remarried.

And Lexi, well, she hadn’t asked for the rare blood disease that had necessitated the special treatment.

Thinking back now, Kayla could see how difficult things must have been for her. The girl had already lost her mother. Brian, afraid of losing her, too, had treated her like some fragile glass doll.

It must have been some shock when Patricia and Kayla moved in. Lexi suddenly found herself in public school, and neither Patricia nor Kayla were the types to mollycoddle anyone. When she looked back now, she realized Lexi probably hadn’t wanted them to, either. She had only wanted to be treated like everyone else.

Even then, though, things hadn’t been horrible. Having been sheltered most of her life, Lexi was a shy, awkward mouse and hadn’t even registered on Kayla’s radar outside the house. As the new girl in school, she had enjoyed her share of attention.

No, the real trouble hadn’t started until Kieran Callaghan, the youngest of the seven brothers, had appointed himself Lexi’s protector, and as such, the others followed suit. They had taken it upon themselves to become a pack of big brothers, but only to Lexi. In doing so, Lexi had unknowingly gotten the one thing Kayla had wanted more than anything—the interest of the Callaghan boys.

Kayla hadn’t been alone in that. Most of the girls in school wanted to bag and tag a Callaghan. They were hot, rich, popular, and hard to hold on to.

Kayla had been in the same grade as Ian. Ian’s older brothers, Jake, Michael, and Kane, had enlisted in the Navy, so they hadn’t been around much. Ian’s three younger brothers, Sean, Shane, and Kieran, had still lived at home.

Kayla remembered the things girls would do—the things she had done—just to catch their eyes. But Lexi, Lexi hadn’t had to do anything more than get a nosebleed to get their attention. While most of it had been brotherly, Kayla had seen the way Ian had looked at her, even then. That was when shit had really hit the fan.

In the end, it didn’t matter.

Kayla shook her head, dispelling the memories. Water under the bridge.

Lexi had gotten her happily ever after. She and Ian were married now, with two kids and the love and support of the Callaghan clan.

Good for her. Really.

Now that she was older and wiser, Kayla knew things had worked out for the best. She wouldn’t have been happy being a part of that family. She was too self-absorbed, too independent, and too competitive around other women. It was just the way she was wired.

There was freedom in knowing and accepting what she was.

Kayla went upstairs to the small bedroom that used to be hers. Boy band posters no longer hung on the walls; no stuffed animals or bottles of nail polish littered every available surface. Patricia had turned it into a guest room within a week of her moving into her own place, replacing all of Kayla’s things with new, elegant-looking furniture and draperies. Kayla wondered vaguely if it had ever been used for anything more than storage for Patricia’s expansive wardrobe and shoes.

That was also where the door to the third-floor attic was located. Kayla had to tug a few times to get it open, since no one had probably been up there in years.

Twenty-some years ago, Lexi used to sneak into Kayla’s room. At the time, Kayla had thought Lexi had been looking for Kayla’s cigarette stash to get her into trouble. One night, though, Kayla had hidden in the closet and realized that Lexi was going up into the attic. Kayla had barricaded the door, forcing Lexi to spend the whole night up there. Lexi never snuck in again after that.

She really had been mean to Lexi then. It was only later, when Kayla went up to the attic herself out of nosiness, she realized Lexi had created a little niche up there, surrounded by her mother’s things.

Once again, a sense of shame ghosted over her. Kayla couldn’t do anything about the past, but she could at least ensure Lexi didn’t lose whatever the old attic had to offer.

There wasn’t much. Just a cedar trunk and some decorative boxes. At some point, Brian must have come up and tidied things.

When Kayla lifted the lid of the boxes, the scents of cedar, mint, and lemons suffused the air around her. A brief search revealed small, handmade fabric pouches, filled with dried herbs, no doubt to keep moths and the like from settling in and ruining the stuff inside.

Kayla examined some of the contents. In one, she found a stack of letters, tucked into envelopes yellowed with age and tied with ribbons. She could only assume they were love letters. Some were addressed to Brian, care of the Navy; and some to Adonia, Brian’s first wife and Lexi’s mother, in Pine Ridge. Kayla didn’t open those; they were too personal.

She also found some books, leather-bound and showing signs of being read many times. Personal journals. Ancient photo albums. More dried flowers. Jewelry. And a wedding dress, presumably belonging to Lexi’s mother, well-preserved and gorgeous. Kayla couldn’t help appreciating the hand-stitched embellishments. Surely Lexi would want this. Knowing her, she would want all of it.

Kayla looked at her watch and gasped. She couldn’t believe time had passed so quickly. Brushing off the dust and cobwebs from her forearms and backside, she hurried back downstairs and locked up. She thought briefly about returning at another time, then decided against it. The trip down memory lane had brought back a lot of things she wasn’t proud of. It was past time to close the door and leave them behind for good.

There wasn’t enough time to drive up to the Goddess, where Lexi was surely preparing for the dinner crowd. However, if she hurried, she could swing by the pub on the way back to Brandyville and drop off the key with Ian or Jake, or whoever happened to be there, get back to her place to change, and make it to work on time.