Chapter 38

Branna

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I have my legs tucked up to my chest as I perch on the toilet seat, like I’m hiding. I know it’s unnecessary, and ridiculous, since no one else is even in the bathroom, much less anyone dangerous. Everyone is out in the stadium, eyes fixed on the cage. I have second row seats with a perfect view of every move that Cooper and Carl make, but I’m hidden away in the bathroom, sitting on an uncomfortable, cold toilet sheet and shaking like a crack addict in a withdrawal crisis.

My dreams are disintegrating at lightning speed before my eyes. Just when I thought I was in the clear. Just when I thought I was finally having some good luck. Just when I was finally letting myself believe that a happily-ever-after future with Cooper, my very own sexy Prince Charming, could actually happen, reality comes up like the little bitch that it is and bites me in the ass.

How could I be so stupid? How could I not have put two and two together and figured that this would happen, or at least realized that it was possible, before I came upon the fucking poster in the hall? Just minutes ago, I was blissfully unaware of the danger I was putting myself in by being Cooper’s girl. When I got up to the go to the bathroom, I didn’t expect any of this. I didn’t expect anything when I glanced over at the posters advertising upcoming fights. At most, I thought I’d see a photo of Cooper, shirtless advertising his next match. Instead, I saw Alexei.

Not in flesh and blood, but I’m shaken almost as if I had seen Alexei for real. Seeing his face on a poster, advertising a match here next week—not against Cooper, but still against a fighter in his league—sent me crashing back down from my cloud nine of warm fuzzies faster than I would have thought possible. 

Alexei fights in Cooper’s league. That’s it. Just like that, I lost the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I lost Cooper.

I can’t be with Cooper now. There’s absolutely no way in the world that that’s a possibility. All of my imaginings of a future together depended on us leaving Boston and flying under the radar somewhere far, far away—like California, or maybe even Hawaii—to start over. But with Cooper and Alexei already fighting in the same circles, Cooper has probably beaten Alexei before. I have to check. Alexei was still fighting in a different league when I ran away, so maybe he hasn’t fought at all yet, or only a match or two against someone else.

I hold my breath as I scroll through recent match results and then, like a knee to the stomach, I see it. They’ve fought. Cooper won. Just like that, all hope is lost. Even if Cooper started over in a new place, fighting in a new league, Alexei won’t be defeated without a chance to redeem himself. He’s been known to plant spies with opponents who’ve beaten him, so he can get inside info on how his opponent trains and what his achilles heel is before he fights him again. Whether it’s a training opponent or even a trainer, most people have their price. With Cooper under some kind of surveillance in the future, it’s only a matter of time before Alexei finds out how we’re connected.

And I can’t ask Cooper to give up fighting for me. Never. I wouldn’t give up art for anyone and fighting is his art. So now I can’t tell Cooper the truth.

My blood runs cold at the thought and I think I’m going to be sick. If Alexei finds out about me from Cooper now, Cooper’s life is fucked. I can hardly bear to consider what would happen, but I have to. And besides, I know too well what would happen. Alexei would get Sokolov associates to back him up and, hell, probably O’Sullivan ones, too. They would come hunt Cooper down and kill him, or worse. They would hunt me down and make me rue the day I walked away from Alexei Sokolov and tried to step out into the world as my own woman.

I have no choice. My castle in the sky dream of a happy future with Cooper went up in smoke the moment that I saw Alexei glaring down at me from that poster, and now there’s only one option if either of us wants to have a future.

I have to get out of here and I have to do it now. I have to stay far, far away from Cooper. I can’t stay here with him, or we will both die. I can’t run away with him, because the moment that I tell him who I am, he’ll recoil from me in horror. Who would pick me, Branna O’Sullivan, at the cost of their greatest passion? Who would want the marked one, the one with whom sex is a death sentence and romantic entanglement is idiotic? No one. And not Cooper, either.

I can feel the tears building behind my eyes as I think about that. No, no, I can’t be rejected by Cooper. I can’t, not by him! He’s the one guy who has made me feel wanted and loved and womanly, and to see him step back from me in horror and disgust would break me.

I blink back my tears. I am on my own again and this time for good. The only way I will survive is by being strong—and so I will be strong. I will do what it takes. I will leave Cooper and never come back.

I let go of my death-grip hug on my knees and put my feet down. I stand up, first still a little shakily, then steady. With my mouth set in a grim line, I unlock the stall door.

It’s time to run.