Chapter Twenty-Two
I felt safe wrapped in Garrick’s arms. I glanced at the clock. It was almost four a.m.—about two hours since Garrick got into bed with me.
Ever so slowly, I extricated myself from him, instantly missing his nearness and safety. I had to do this. For me. For him. For us.
We were moving at such a fast pace. It would be easy to derail us if we weren’t careful. And we deserved the best chance to make something out of our relationship.
The yoga pants and T-shirt I’d worn to bed would have to do if I didn’t want to wake him by getting dressed. I grabbed my phone and purse and tiptoed out of the room with my tennis shoes in hand.
In the entryway, I found a piece of paper and quickly scrawled a note.
Needed to handle something. I will be back. I’m not running but need to take care of something for us. I’ll be safe.
Xoxo
Knoah
I made my way down to my car in the nearly empty parking lot. Though it was dangerous to be alone, I was heading straight to my parents’ house. As I drove away, I looked into the rearview mirror and took a deep breath.
This was necessary.
I had to let go of the past.
If I held onto it, I would be swallowed up and never found again.
My parents lived an hour away, which meant I’d be there around five—about the time they got up. They had always been early birds. It had been a long time since I’d been home. The memories normally felt like a heavy weight waiting to suffocate me, but now that weight wasn’t there. A sense of relief laced with trepidation flowed through me.
Though it was early, I wanted to tell Kurt. I dialed his number, and he answered on the third ring.
“Hey, squirt. What are you doing up at this hour?” He yawned loudly into the phone.
“I’m going home. I had the nightmare again at Garrick’s apartment last night. It must have been bad because he heard me from his room and woke me up. Afterward, I asked him to sleep next to me. I want to move forward, Kurt, but I need to go to Dylan’s grave first. I need to say goodbye.”
Wow, talk about laying it all out there. Last night we’d texted after Kurt landed back in Orlando. I told him I was at Garrick’s and would explain today. Telling him about Jessica was something I wanted to do in person.
I heard rustling on the other end of the phone. “I’m on my way.”
“Kurt, you don’t have to come. I only wanted you to know where I was going.”
From the background noise, it sounded like Kurt had already grabbed his keys and was headed to the car. “I know, but I want to be there. I’ll drive you and sit in the car while you’re at the cemetery. You shouldn’t be alone. Where’s Garrick?”
“I left a note.” There was a pause on the other end. Deep down, I wanted Kurt to be there. “I’m already more than halfway to Mom and Dad’s. I’ll wait for you there.”
“I’ll be there in an hour.”
We hung up, and I took a deep breath. Having Kurt there—someone who knew everything—would help.
Less than twenty minute later, I pulled up to my parents’ modest three-bedroom house and smiled. It occurred to me how much I missed home as I watched the palm trees sway in the wind.
Behind me, a black SUV came down the road. Is that Garrick? I paused, wanting him here with me but wanting to be alone at the same time. The SUV continued without pausing and turned at the end of the street.
I dialed my mom. She answered, fully awake, “Good morning, Knoah.”
“Morning, Mom. What are you doing?”
She gave a little yawn. “Making coffee and then cooking your dad French toast.”
“Would you care to make some for me and Kurt?”
“When?” She sounded so excited.
This was going to surprise her for sure. “I’m outside. Kurt is on his way. He’ll be here in about half an hour or so.”
The line went dead, and I stared at the phone. Odd. I thought Mom would be excited for me to be home. With that thought, the front door burst open, and she ran down the stairs in her robe, her blond hair completely a mess.
I’d barely made it out of the car before she engulfed me in a hug. “Come here, my sweet Knoah. I have missed you so much!”
As she held me, I grinned so hard my cheeks ached. “I’m going to make biscuits and chocolate gravy.”
My mouth watered at my favorite breakfast dish. “Oh, Mom. French toast is fine.”
“Nonsense. Come on in. Your dad is still sleeping. He was up late watching the game since it got moved to Friday night. Thank goodness we won. Otherwise he might have shot the TV.”
Dad was very passionate about his Gators. I’d learned the Gator Chomp as soon as I could copy the movements. It broke his heart when I never took an interest in football.
As we entered the house, I saw not much changed. All of my school pictures still hung on the wall opposite the TV. I had some very unfortunate-looking years at school. The year with braces had been especially horrible in junior high. I wished Mom would take those down, but she wanted to remember all the years.
Mom handed me a cup of coffee, and I hopped up on the counter like I’d done as a child before taking a sip. She began to assemble the ingredients for homemade biscuits. This was our thing. I’d sit on the counter and spill my heart out while she cooked.
“I met someone.”
For a mere moment, Mom paused. I watched her face carefully, and she smiled. “Tell me about him.”
“His name is Garrick. He saw me at Cameron’s office and wanted to make me smile. He found out it was my birthday, so he sent me flowers.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow.”
Mom was good about not pushing me, either. “Yeah, then I had a really bad day. He listened to everything I said and did everything in his power to fix things.”
“Like what?”
The thought of his sweetness made me sigh. “I spilled coffee on my dress, so he sent me a new one. My car had a flat tire, so he sent someone to fix it.”
The pastry blender dropped in the bowl as Mom touched her chest, abandoning the biscuit mixture. “Oh my. That is the sweetest thing I have heard in a long time.”
“I know. He doesn’t push me. But there’s an undeniable attraction I can’t fight. And I don’t want to.”
I hadn’t told Mom about my job or Jessica yet. It was hard to believe how much of a person’s life could change in a short amount of time. But I wanted her to know everything.
“There’s more.”
“What’s that?”
I launched into every detail of the last week. Mom remained silent as she rolled the biscuits and placed them on the cookie sheet to cook.
When I got to Jessica’s death, she gasped. I did omit the fact that the cops thought the person might be after me. A shiver ran down my back as I realized driving here alone might not have been the smartest thing to do. Kurt was going to be pissed when he found out. “Knoah, why didn’t you call? Her poor family and fiancé. Have you spoken to any of them?”
“No. I never met her parents. I assume Michael is handling it all. I don’t have his number.”
Mom slid the biscuits into the oven. “Did you feel pressure to move in with Garrick?”
“No, we weren’t planning it. In fact, we’ve tried to take things slow, but somehow we keep getting catapulted forward. Garrick and I have acknowledged how fast it is, but we can’t put more distance between us. It’s almost uncontrollable. And I’m okay with it.”
I took a breath, and Mom stared at me. It was a lot for her to take in. I decided to keep going. “Early this morning, I decided I need to go to Dylan’s grave. I’ve never been back since the funeral. It’s time.”
Kurt appeared in the doorway. He looked relieved to see me. “You okay?”
“I’m okay.”
Mom was still in shock. She turned to Kurt. “Have you met Garrick?”
“Not officially. But I think he’s crazy about Knoah.”
Of course, Mom smiled at that. Then she said, “It’s terrible about her neighbor, Jessica. Did you know her?”
Kurt’s eyes cut from my mom to me. There was no surprise in them. He knew. Somehow, he knew. Uh oh. I was going to be in trouble. “No, I didn’t.”
Mom hugged Kurt. “It’s good to have you back in this kitchen. I’m making your favorite, too.”
“Chocolate biscuits?”
She winked, and he picked her up and spun her around. “Oh, Kurt. I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too, Momma Knox.”
Dad walked into the kitchen and stopped. “Knoah? Kurt?”
Seeing him in all his familiar disarray, from his messy hair to the thick-framed glasses on his face, made my heart ache. I had been gone from their lives for too long.
I hopped off the counter and rushed into his arms. Why did I stay away so long? Going forward, I would not waste any more time. Mom and Dad were older, nearly forty, when they’d had me. Now that they were in their sixties, I needed to treasure every moment.
“Hey, Daddy.”
He wrapped his arms around me. “I missed you, Knoah.”
“I missed you, too. I’m back.”
Mom called over her shoulder, “Breakfast will be ready in twenty. Everyone, get washed up. I’m going to make cinnamon rolls for later.”
The exact comfort food I needed.