Zara

It was hard to believe that only five days earlier I’d been blissfully unaware of who Lance really was or what kind of life he led. The time since he confessed his true identity felt like it had happened weeks ago. In fact, it felt like we’d left Annia’s place weeks ago, and not merely hours ago.

After Lance left my house, I wordlessly walked into my room and locked the door. I needed to be alone to mourn the relationship we’d had and to figure out my next move. Marshmallow bounded off my bed toward me, his little tail wagging happily when I lifted him to sit on the side of my bed. The tears came again as I buried my nose in his soft fur.

When I whispered, “He’s gone,” his eyes met mine, making me wonder if he understood me. Fingering the black bow tie with pineapples that I refused to remove from his neck, my sobs took control. “You’re the reason we met, Spike.” I said his nickname without conscious thought before nuzzling his neck. “I miss him so much.” He licked my face over and over while allowing me to squeeze his tiny body to mine, seeking some form of comfort.

The need to talk to someone who understood what I was going through overwhelmed me. I quickly pulled out my phone, desperately wanting to hear Lance’s voice. I could easily have gone out and gotten the house phone to call him with, but I wasn’t ready to face my father yet. My blood still simmered over his behavior, and it was best I stayed in my room until I calmed down.

Frustrated beyond belief, I growled, feeling like I was in prison. On a normal day I would have taken Marshmallow and gone for a long walk. I couldn’t even head to a place where I could get cell service with those leeches still hanging around my house. The place that had been my home for most of my life suddenly felt stifling.

Time stretched before me dauntingly. Tomorrow was Sunday, and the thought of being stuck in this house all day made me angry. I had to work on Monday, and wondered what I would do if they were still here then.

I opened one of the many pictures I had taken of Lance, tracing his straight nose and his square chin with the pad of my thumb. Marshmallow let out a small bark, and I could practically hear Lance chuckling like he always did when Marshmallow voiced his doggie opinion. It was the same laugh he made when I used one of my quirky South African terms that he thought was silly. Desperate to remind myself he was real and he’d been mine for even a short time, I lifted my shirt to smell his cologne that lingered on the fabric. I closed my eyes to imagine his lips and his hands loving every inch of me.

Even the fear that had engulfed me most of the day, and the feeling of suffocation I felt stuck in my bedroom like a child being punished, didn’t compare to the raw pain that twisted my insides from missing him. He wanted me to think things through, to decide if I wanted his lifestyle. While smack in the middle of the ramifications of his lifestyle, I’d still have rather been running and hiding with him than here without him.

The house phone rang, causing the volume of the chatter coming from my living room to change into muffled whispers. A few seconds later, a soft knock came at my door.

“Zara, honey. Can I come in?”

Still holding Marshmallow, I walked to the door and unlocked it. My mother held the cordless toward me. “Annia.”

“Thank you,” I said taking it from her.

She stopped me from moving with a soft hand on my arm. “I’ll come talk to you when you’re done. Listen to your sister. I happen to think it’s a good idea. Your father and I need to talk, and…figure things out.” She offered a small, sad smile before leaving.

I waited until she was down the hall before closing my door. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“No.”

Annia sighed on her end of the call. “I know, sweetie. I’m so sorry. Kai made sure to tell Elan exactly what happened. He claimed he had no idea Rosalani did that, and said he feels bad about the whole thing.”

“You don’t believe him?”

“I’d like to. Where is Lance now?”

I suddenly felt so tired, and my eyes closed as I responded to her question, “Probably on his way back to California. I’m kind of stuck here, and this damn cellphone won’t work.” I put Marshmallow down so I could lie on my bed.

Annia laughed and said, “It’s frustrating how behind the times Lanai is, isn’t it?”

“Very. I now get it and understand there’s a whole world out there I had no idea existed.”

“There sure is, which is why I called. I think you should come here for a while, stay with us. Kai said his cousin could fly you over in the middle of the night. You can wait to hear about the job while you’re here, relax, and think things through. Being stuck there isn’t healthy for you right now.”

“And Mama agrees to this?”

“She does.”

I heard a commotion outside and moved the side of my shade an inch to peer out. Darkness had fallen, but I could still see quite a few men and women standing across the street waiting. Didn’t these people have lives? I watched Palu and Kaholo speaking to one of the officers who were still standing in front of the house. The three then walked to the line of reporters and animatedly shooed them away.

“Nothing left to see here. Your movie star is on his way back to Hollywood. Leave this poor family alone,” Palu shouted while waving his short arms. The police officer then said something to the crowd that I couldn’t hear before getting into his car and driving away with Palu. Whatever was said caused a few of the reporters to walk off, get into cars that were parked at the end of the street, and drive off, as well. Some refused to move, still standing holding their gigantic cameras in protest. Kaholo folded his arms threateningly, glaring at those who stayed.

Seeing the gall of these people made my decision to leave Lanai a simple one.

At my silence Annia asked, “Are you still there?”

“Yes, and yes, I’ll come. What time should I be at the airport?”

“I’ll call you back. Meanwhile pack to stay awhile, and bring Marshmallow.”

“I planned to. Thanks, Annia. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She hung up, and for the first time since Lance had left I felt something other than sorrow. Maybe it was a touch of optimism. Being in Honolulu with Annia and Kai could help me escape my father’s negativity enough to think clearly and come up with a plan for the rest of my life.

I needed to let Lance get back to his life and fix what needed to be fixed. I needed to mend my relationship with my father, because once I left it would most definitely cause more stress between us. By leaving, he would no doubt think I was choosing Lance over him. Even though I was, I wasn’t okay with severing the relationship I had with him. He might have infuriated me at times, but he was still my father and I loved him very much.

If my future was with Lance, my father needed to change his mentality and his behavior to fit into my life. I had to do all I could to get us to that point. Otherwise, I would be forced to choose between him and Lance. That choice would be sure to estrange us with little hope of reconciliation. That would break my mother’s heart, devastate my sister, and cause a gaping hole in my life.

I opened my cellphone to Lance’s number and dialed it on the landline. It immediately went to voicemail, causing a sinking feeling in my chest. I missed him terribly. Once his sexy voice asked to leave a message, I said, “Hi. It’s me. This is my house phone. I just wanted you to know that I’m heading to Annia’s for a few days. I miss you and love you.”

Marshmallow startled when I jumped off the bed. My duffel bag from our trip still sat in the living room. Like a woman with a mission, I began pulling out more of my things to pack for my open-ended stay with my sister.