Landon

Every damn thing I saw, in one way or another, reminded me of her. The melted ice that lightened my whiskey made it the exact color of her golden-brown eyes. I swirled the liquid in the heavy crystal tumbler, watching it catch the light and turn the amber into gold. In one long gulp, I swallowed what was left of my second drink.

Running my other hand over the smooth, high polished walnut table, I first noticed just how close in color it was to her hair. The highs and lows in the wood grain mimicked the highlights that caught the sun’s rays when it shone down on the top of her head.

The professional arrangement of fresh-cut flowers sitting on the credenza reminded me of the day I had tucked a hibiscus above her ear. The smooth silk chair I sat on reminded me of the sheets we’d made love on at the hotel in Waikiki. The way my agent scowled like he’d just lost millions in the stock market reminded me of her father’s face right before I left.

“Price!”

My eyes slid to Roger, who sat across from me with his arms folded over his ridiculously expensive suit.

“What?”

“Did you hear a word we said?”

“No,” I said on a sarcastic laugh.

Why bother lying? I wanted no part of this meeting. This marked our fourth in a week. A powwow, a touch-base, a recap, it didn’t matter how Roger spun it, they were all the same. Different ways to pretty much tell me I was fucking up, yet again. He’d finally moved on from the fuckup of leaving my career for two months and had settled on the way I was fucking up my career since I’d gotten back.

Well, if I was fucking up either way, and as long as I was stuck here, I had no problem being transparent about the fact that I’d rather be in Lanai. I was proud to admit I’d been living in as close to a coma as one could, while still mimicking a human being. That wasn’t easy to do in our plastic town.

Roger sighed dramatically, and then grumbled at the bored look on my face. “Really?” He pointed to the contracts and pile of scripts littering the table. “This is for you, Landon. We have busted our asses while you were gone, ensuring those who were important in this goddamn town didn’t forget about you. We aren’t here for our own pleasure. The least you could do is pretend you’re invested.”

Well, that was a lie because they were there for the fat checks I gave them. All three of them—Roger, my agent; Ira, my lawyer; Sadie, my PR rep—were there because of the money. Sure, they liked me as a person and would consider themselves friends, but if I hadn’t been as successful as I was I had no doubt they wouldn’t be standing for my shit right now.

Instead of voicing my theory, I shrugged and otherwise said nothing. Besides, I’d said all I had needed to say seven days ago. They all knew the truth behind my relationship with Zara. I had to listen to them carrying on and on about career suicide, and blah blah blah.

Whatever.

I had agreed to hide my love for one reason, and one reason only: that that would best protect Zara, first and foremost. So, the official statement given to the press was that we’d had a brief affair while I was visiting Lanai City. Due to geographic locations and irreconcilable differences, we had parted ways while remaining amicable.

With that out of the way, they all dove back into my career with two feet. All this bullshit, meeting after meeting regarding the topic, was fucking redundant. Nothing they said would pique my interest, because the only thing I’d have loved for them to say at that moment was, What do you mean you quit?

The time between leaving LA and returning to it had caused me to lose my zeal for acting. No doubt if I shared that with my tenacious agent he would accuse me of thinking with my cock. It couldn’t entirely be blamed on Zara. Living so simply, so easily, in such a carefree manner had something to do with it. It reminded me of my roots, brought me back to what life had been like before I became a celebrity, and truth be told I hadn’t realized that I missed it until now.

I also hadn’t realized how badly I needed to share my life with someone else until now. I couldn’t guarantee that if I lost Zara because of my career I wouldn’t walk away. I couldn’t really deny that I was pretty much buying time and waiting for her to decide. Thoughts of doing so were consuming me. Would I leave? Could I walk away?

Possibly.

I already had enough money to live the rest of my life never having to worry about finances. I could keep my parents very comfortable. I could travel and support a family. I had it all. The only thing I was missing was Zara. What was the point of working my ass off in front of the camera, with my millions, my homes, my cars, if I lost the one woman I had ever loved?

Who even knew if she’d be sharing my life? All I could focus on was right now. And right now she wasn’t with me. I didn’t want to push or prod her in any way. The only thing that was getting me through was hearing her voice every day and hearing that she loved me. In spite of all that had happened at the end of my time in Lanai, she still loved me. That was the little beacon of hope I held on to.

Things at home with Zara and her father were not good. While I was on the plane she’d left a voicemail that she was going to stay with Annia and Kai for a while. I had called her back the moment I landed. Her face, even her father’s face as he yelled inside the open door of their home, appeared on every news channel for days after my departure. Gossip sites dubbed Zara the other woman and Kaelynn the scorned one. It had gotten so bad that I called Kaelynn and demanded she open her mouth and confirm that we were not a couple. She had done as I asked but through tears, making it look like it was a rehearsed statement.

My heart had squeezed painfully in my chest as Zara relayed some things her father had said after I left. Knowing my girl, it would be hard for her to get over his words. The man was as stubborn as a mule, and I couldn’t fathom why the hell he was acting this way. Because of his behavior, he was now estranged from his daughters, fighting with his wife, and living a miserable lonely life. Didn’t that make his integral need to protect his family all in vain?

Zara had been frustratingly quiet over the whole thing. My heart broke for her. With me gone, the fight with her father, the fact that she still hadn’t heard if she had gotten the job, and her instant celebrity status was too much coming at once. Anything else that happened she refused to talk about over the phone. Our conversations focused on our time together and Spike. Any more than that, I learned via short texts from Kai. I owed so much to her brother-in-law, because without his updates I’d have been in an even worse state than I was currently in. He made sure to tell me that he wasn’t betraying Zara, he was just trying to get us back together.

Zara did admit that she was very overwhelmed and trying to figure things out, not surprisingly, since her face had been all over every entertainment news program from coast to coast. I hoped it would die down soon, especially since her mother had said that once the reporters had figured out she was no longer in Lanai City, their town went back to normal. But that meant she was in hiding in Honolulu. If she went out and people recognized her, the harassment wouldn’t end anytime soon.

Other than her admission that she loved me and missed me terribly, I really didn’t know how she truly felt.

I had warned her about the statement I would be making, and she completely understood the reasons behind it. But whenever the topic of my career came up, her responses were cordial, detached, and impersonal…and that scared the fuck out of me.

The reason for today’s emergency meeting was my obvious gloom and doom attitude. None of the scripts Roger had held for me appealed, and I couldn’t commit to a project I had no connection to. I’d rather produce my own films and control my own contribution to Hollywood. No one knew that but my team, and Zara.

Since getting back to LA, the outside world had seen a happy-go-lucky bachelor thrilled to be back in Hollywood. But behind closed doors, all bets were off. I missed her, and when I was out of the public eye I wouldn’t pretend that I didn’t.

I couldn’t help it if the producer for an upcoming opportunity took offense to my standoffishness. Nor could I do a damn thing about the director from my last movie hating that my costar, Kaelynn, and I were no longer tied together by the press, and because we weren’t, our upcoming press junket would be affected.

Roger was not happy that I refused to play their game. He was lucky I pretended to act normally when out and about in town. It happened to have been the best acting of my career. Heading out to the gym with a huge smile on my face as I waved to the assholes pointing their cameras at me. Or winking at them when I dashed out of a Starbucks with my much-needed triple espresso because I was up all night missing her.

Even when I had donned a tux last night to walk a red carpet for an awards show I couldn’t give a crap about, wishing Zara was on my arm, I had dazzled with my smoldering “I’m available and I’m looking” expression that usually made women’s panties damp.

I gave Academy Award–worthy performances all week long…so fuck Roger if he didn’t like seeing the brooding, pissed-off version of Landon Price that I refused to turn off in his presence. I paid him enough, and he could deal with it.

“All right, we’re getting nothing done here except to watch you drink the day away. What is it you want from us, Landon?”

Hmm. What did I want?

Zara.

Avoiding his question, I asked, “When does the press junket start for Broken Branches?”

“First of the year.”

“I thought it was in the spring.”

“They moved it up.” I had no idea what would be happening in January, and even though it was only a few months away I refused to look that far ahead.

While Roger droned on and on, I picked at a piece of lint on my jeans. “It kicks off in London, Rome, Paris, back to Venice, Frankfurt, then down to Sydney, New York, and ending in LA.” He paused and glared. “Did you hear me?”

“Every word. Fucking fantastic.”

“Landon, cut the shit,” Roger barked, quirking a brow at my very audible groan. “What the fuck has gotten into you?”

Their eyes followed me as I slowly stood to help myself to more of his expensive whiskey. Once I sat with my drink in hand, Roger slid the schedule at me across the table. “You are contracted to promote this movie, and you will.”

“Have I not done everything the three of you have told me to do since getting back? Cut me some slack.”

I watched the veins in his neck bulge and almost laughed out loud at the shade of red darkening the tips of his ears. Screw him. Nothing would change for him if I were to suddenly become the next Howard Hughes.

“We did, Landon. For the nine weeks that you vanished, we cut you a lot of slack. Do you have any idea what you’ve put us through these past two months?”

“Yes, you remind me often.”

He threw up his hand and said, “Seriously, I give up.”

“You’re the best agent, Roger. I appreciate all you do for me.” I threw him my best on-screen-interview fake smile.

“Quit blowing smoke up my ass, Landon.”

“Noted. So are we done here?”

Ira and Roger exchanged a look while Sadie placed a hand on my arm. “Landon. Your fans feel you abandoned them. You can’t go from being one of the most accessible, hands-on actors of all time to withdrawing with absolutely no interaction.”

“Release another statement then. Tell them I’m battling severe anxiety or make something up. I don’t give a shit.”

“You won’t get cast in any of the projects you want.”

“So?”

“Oh my fucking God, Landon.”

I glanced at my Rolex and stood. “I got plans. Anything else?”

“Yes. Is the screenplay done? I pitched it while you were gone and have a few bites.”

“Nope.”

“No?”

“Did I stutter? No. It’s not done.”

“Okay, let me rephrase. When will it be done? You have no commitments confirmed for next summer and that would be a great time for you to take on your own movie.”

“I’m not sure when I’m going to finish it, or if I’ll concentrate on another story I want to tell.” Before he could speak, I said, “Yes, you heard that right. See you all tomorrow, I have someplace to be.”

“Hi, sweetheart.” My mom barely turned from whatever she was stirring on the stove that smelled amazing. I came closer and peeked over her shoulder at the huge pot of stew she’d made. Since arriving, she had been making all my favorites and enough to freeze as leftovers. My mom was a serial freeze-junkie. True to form, she moved to the freezer and opened it to reveal dozens of plastic containers all labeled with content and date.

“Mom, have I told you today how happy I am that you’re here?”

She gave me a sideways glance and shook her head. “It’s my cooking you’re happy about. But thank you.”

“Well, that, too.” I kissed her cheek before stealing a peanut butter cookie from the platter she’d piled them on. “Mmm. Just like when I was young.”

“I had to hide those from you when you were young. You’d sit and eat an entire batch if I let you. You and your peanut butter.” She lowered the flame on my Viking stove and wiped her hands on her apron. She must have brought that with her because no way did I own an apron.

“Too bad Dad couldn’t come. How is he going to survive while you’re here?”

“I froze a bunch of meals for him,” she said as if it were obvious. “He’ll be fine.”

“When are you moving here?”

“Someday.”

It was her standard response. I loved teasing her, and selfishly would have loved for my parents to live closer. For some reason, the desire for that to occur was stronger than ever. Zara had uncorked this need to have those I loved near me.

My mother had arrived two days ago. As she’d promised me while I was still in Lanai, she had hand-delivered all my mail, contracts, and scripts that had come while I was gone. The entire pile still sat on my dining room table untouched.

She noticed the shopping bag in my hand. “What’s that?”

“I took your advice.” Pulling the Nikon box from the bag, I placed it on the island. Last night as Mom and I had relaxed on the patio with glasses of wine, I had told her all about Zara. I wanted to get her a present, something that said how much I missed her and was thinking of her. Materialistic things didn’t really impress Zara. She’d be happier with the plate of cookies my mom baked than a ridiculously expensive piece of jewelry. When I mentioned the amazing photos she took on a tiny, outdated camera, my mom suggested I send her a better one. It was a brilliant idea.

“You were right. She’s going to love it.” I pulled out accessories, and three different-sized lenses. “She should be doing this professionally.”

Giving me a warm smile, she nodded knowingly. “Well, you’re definitely pointing her in the right direction. I’ll get it mailed for you tomorrow.”

“Mom, I have an assistant who can do that.”

“Oh, whatever.” Whenever she visited, my mom insisted on helping me. I always indulged her, even when it was something as ridiculous as mailing a package. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. How was your meeting?”

“Awful. The three of them think I’ve lost my mind.” The concern in her eyes was obvious. “What? You do, too?”

“No, honey, I don’t think you lost your mind. I think you finally woke up. And I don’t give a rat’s ass what Roger, Ira, or Sadie think of you.” She came closer and took my hand. “Landon, I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m working on it, Mom.”