Zara

Over the next few days Lance and I spent a lot of time together. He was there to drive me to and from work. He was there at noon to bring me lunch. To say Lance was spoiling me would have been an understatement. We’d developed a friendship I’d treasure forever. In addition to that, the romance had been amazing.

If things didn’t work out between us, it would devastate me. Not to mention our connection would be impossible to replace. I couldn’t imagine being this comfortable with, or this attracted to, another man.

Tomorrow we’d be flying to Honolulu together for my job interview. Besides spending a few days together as a couple, I hoped to take our relationship to the next level. Even though the last few days we had turned a corner as a couple, deep down I felt that once we had sex it would truly be official. I was ready to make love to him, and to admit I loved him.

During dinner, my mother and I chatted excitedly about my job interview and the trip in general. My father knew of my plans and smartly kept his opinions to himself.

Lance and I would be taking a puddle jumper to Oahu for my interview. Once done, we planned to stay in Waikiki overnight so I could show him the sights before driving up to Annia and Kai’s in Honolulu for a visit.

After dinner, while my parents took Marshmallow for a walk, I quickly packed before lying on my bed to study Hawaiian facts. It was hard to concentrate knowing that in just twelve hours Lance and I would be heading to our romantic getaway.

As my thoughts bounced between my interview and my handsome boyfriend, the doorbell rang, surprising me.

On my way to answer it, the sight of a black Jeep in my driveway caused my heart to pump excitedly in my chest.

“Hi,” I said the moment I opened the door.

“Hi, beautiful.” The forlorn look on his face turned my excitement to fear.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, searching his crystal-blue eyes for some clue as to why he was at my door looking like his best friend had just died.

“Yeah. Can I talk to you?”

“Of course.” I moved aside, stopping when he shook his head.

“Can we go for a ride?”

The fear escalated and I forced a quick nod. “Sure. Let me just leave my parents a note.”

“I’ll be in the Jeep.” I waited a moment to watch him. His demeanor was nothing like the Lance I’d gotten to know so well these past two months. All sorts of scenarios flipped through my mind, ranging from an emergency back home to him deciding things wouldn’t work out between us.

With a shaky hand, I scribbled a quick note letting my parents know I’d gone for a drive with Lance. A few minutes later, I nervously climbed into his Jeep. He leaned over and gently kissed my lips, appeasing me just enough to hope this little chat had nothing to do with our relationship.

He drove us to Sweetheart Rock. It was one of the places I had recently taken him to, explaining one of Lanai’s most endearing legends. I prayed that the story of the lovers whose lives had ended tragically there had no relevance to us.

He shifted into park and cut the engine before grabbing a blanket off the backseat. After he got out, he walked to the passenger side to open my door. Wordlessly offering his hand, he then led me toward the small strip of beach facing the rock. The sun was setting, bathing the landmark in a warm orange glow. With each step we took, my pounding heart contradicted the calm and tranquil surroundings.

Releasing my hand, he spread the blanket out for us and sat on the sand facing sideways from the ocean. I followed, facing him. The fabric of his shorts draped away from the backs of his thighs, making it hard to not want to admire his thick, muscular legs.

“I had a nice phone conversation with my mom today. I told her all about you, and she can’t wait to meet you.”

My heart warmed at his admission, and I gave him a glowing smile. “I can’t wait to meet her, too.”

“She’s great…so is my dad. They’re very supportive and always believe my happiness is most important. She could tell by the sound of my voice, and through the way I described you, that I was happy. And she’s right, except for one thing.”

“What’s the one thing?” I anxiously twisted the hem of my shirt, waiting for him to speak.

“Don’t be nervous,” he said, reaching to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Okay.”

He propped his elbows on his bent knees and stared at his hands for a pause before lifting his eyes back to mine. I watched him drag in a deep breath only to audibly release it.

“I haven’t exactly been honest with you, and it’s been eating me up alive. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but my worries about how you’d react to it always stopped me.”

“Okay. You can tell me anything, Lance.”

He nodded solemnly. I couldn’t imagine what it was he’d kept from me, and my heart pounded while I waited for him to continue.

“Zara, it’s hard for me to trust people. Yet with you, it was never an issue. From the moment I met you, it felt like I’d known you my whole life. And I’ve grown to truly care about you in these past weeks.”

“I feel the same.”

“I’m glad. Because I truly meant it when I said I want to continue what we have between us.” Grateful he wasn’t ending this, I allowed a small smile at his admission. My apprehension eased enough to believe that what he was about to say had nothing to do with us.

He twisted his head to glance at the sunset before turning back to me. His crystal-blue eyes shone brightly, mesmerizing me into a predictable trance. “Have you ever heard of Landon Price?”

I searched my memory, shaking my head. “No, I don’t think so. Should I have?”

“Landon Price is one of the biggest stars in Hollywood.”

“Really? We truly do live in a cave out here. Has he been in a lot of movies?”

“Quite a few.” He nodded before continuing. “Most people around the world know Landon Price.”

I tried to remember if I’d ever heard of Landon Price. The name definitely wasn’t familiar. “Most of the movies in the cinema downtown are classics. You already know we live in a bubble in Lanai. We once had a visit from a movie star, and I can’t even remember his name, but Palu thought it was the best thing ever. He hosted a luau for him. I couldn’t relate to that…being famous.”

“It isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Unable to leave the house without droves of photographers following you around, every bit of your business printed in every magazine both reputable and trashy. It’s like living in a virtual fishbowl, with every aspect of your life broadcast, reported on, and exposed to the entire world. Everyone wants something.”

“That sounds awful. Is Landon a friend of yours?”

I couldn’t piece together why he was telling me all this, or what had Lance’s eyes misting with emotion and altering his handsome face in agony.

He took my hand in between both of his and smiled sadly. “Zara, I’m Landon.”

“You?”

His nod was slow and deliberate. “Yes. I am Landon Price.”

I pulled my hand away from his in confusion. “I don’t understand. Why would you lie to me?”

“I never lied to you.”

“How can you say that? You made me believe you were an accountant originally from New Jersey.”

“Yes, I lied about my real name and my occupation, but that was all I lied about. I swear. This…” He hit his chest with a clenched fist. “The person you got to know, the man you spent time with, is the real me. I never hid my true self from you. You know the real me, Zara. In fact, you’re probably the only person who has seen this side of me, including my own family.”

I couldn’t wrap my brain around his admission. I stood and began pacing as my mind raced, trying to understand what all he’d said meant. In my periphery, I watched him stand cautiously. He made no attempt to come closer, giving me the space I needed to process it all.

“Why did you come here?”

“Zara, I came to Lanai to hide, literally vanish from my world. So much has happened the last six months of my life, and I’ll tell you all the details. It all came down on me at once. For the first time in my career I needed to run away from fame. I couldn’t function until I took a much-needed break. I picked Lanai because of its beauty and purity from the outside world. Ironically, I found one of the most beautiful and purest people I’ve ever met in you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Two reasons. First, I meant it when I said it was hard to trust people. My childhood friends were no longer the people I knew so well. Even my closest buddies suddenly were calling me wanting help in getting their own talents noticed. Making new friends wasn’t easy. It’s impossible to tell who is genuine, and who just wants a piece of my fame and fortune…especially once they find out who I am. It makes it hard to trust anyone, even those who were once my absolute closest friends.

“Before you, I never knew if someone truly cared about me or if it was my fame. I liked you so much and wanted your feelings to be genuine. I loved how I was able to be the real me with you. The more I got to know you, the more I desperately wanted you to truly care for me. And that came with time. Otherwise, it would just have been more of the same. Does that make sense?”

It did. I couldn’t fault him for that. I nodded slowly.

“Secondly, I was afraid that once you knew the truth you’d walk away. Selfishly I didn’t want to lose your friendship. I wanted you to get to know me better as a man before my fame ruined everything between us.”

“And how does this affect us?” The emotion I held back revealed itself in my trembling lip and the tears that welled in my eyes.

His forehead wrinkled, as if seeing it caused him physical pain. He finally came closer and tentatively took me into his arms. “It doesn’t as far as I’m concerned. It’ll take getting used to, of course. But all that matters is what we feel for each other.”

My mother’s words replayed in my mind.

I can see how much you care for Lance, and in his eyes I can see how much he cares for you as well. Keep that most important detail front and center in your mind, because that simply is the only thing that matters. Trust me when I say confusion and doubt are what usually ruin a good thing.

That’s just what I felt, confused. I wanted to believe him, but how could it not affect us? I lowered my head, trying to hide the doubt that clawed its way through me. With a gentle hand, he gripped my chin and forced my gaze back to his.

“I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you. But, Zara, I’m not sorry for wanting everything to be perfect between us, for wanting every feeling we’ve had for each other to be real. I’ve never had that in my life, and I desperately want it with you. I worried, and I still do, that the moment I told you it would ruin things between us. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to lose your friendship, and…I don’t want to lose you.”

I felt the same. My feelings ran too deep, and I really couldn’t blame him for waiting. It still hurt that he’d lied to me…but not enough to replace that hurt with the crushing pain I’d no doubt feel if I walked away.