Chapter 24

There were at least a hundred things on Julie’s to-do list this morning. Or really just a few, but she still felt overwhelmed thinking about them. First up, she was going to Beth’s to help interview babysitters to take her place with Sabrina. It was the least she could do after giving Beth such short notice. But Mr. Banks was ready for her to take over and start overseeing things alongside Allison at the Veterans’ Center ASAP. And she couldn’t wait. She’d decided, after much chocolate and wine with Kat and Val the other night, that from here on out she’d focus on her career. And her family and friends.

No more men.

She pulled into Beth’s driveway and released a breath. Beth had told her that Lawson wouldn’t be here when she arrived, but she’d still wondered. Lawson was so protective over Sabrina; how could he not be here when Beth interviewed the next person who’d care for her?

Then again, Julie didn’t know Lawson as well as she’d thought she did. The Lawson she thought she knew would never have professed his love one day and treated her like she was disposable the next.

“Hey.” Beth turned as Julie gave a courtesy knock and entered. “Thank you so much for coming today. I hate interviewing people.”

Julie sat on the barstool at the counter. “Why don’t we just sit back and let Sabrina do the honors. She did a great job interviewing me.”

Beth took a sip of water and nodded. “That’s right. Aww. We’re going to miss having you here. You’ve been great with her. But I understand. You have to follow your heart.”

“Well…” Julie looked at Sabrina seated at a child’s table against the wall. “Sabrina will always have my heart now.”

Sabrina looked up and smiled brightly, tugging at Julie’s emotions.

“I’m not leaving Seaside. Just getting a new job. We can still have lunch or macaroni and cheese for dinner.” As long as Lawson wasn’t around, that was.

Beth nodded. “Sounds good.”

Someone knocked on the side door and Julie jumped. Giving her a strange look, Beth waved at the mailman and took a package. “Thank you,” Beth said, closing the door behind her. “Something’s up. You thought that was Lawson just now and you looked devastated. And Lawson has been acting strange since Monday.”

“Lawson is acting strange with you?” Julie asked.

Beth swiped at a long lock of bangs that fell in her eyes. “Yeah. When I asked him to help me interview, he said that Sabrina and I didn’t need him anymore. Which is just wrong. We’ll always need him. But I can see his point. I’ve depended far too much on him for far too long. It’s time I learn to do things on my own. Still…Lawson has always insisted on being here with us. It’s not like him to just let go.”

Julie nodded, wishing she didn’t care. If something was going on with Lawson, it didn’t concern her. He’d made it very clear the other night how he felt. “So if you’re going to start doing things on your own, why am I here?”

“For moral support, of course. And because you know Sabrina so well. Plus, it’ll be good to have a second opinion. I don’t have the best radar when it comes to people. What if I hired a total lunatic?”

Julie’s gaze fell to the countertop. Apparently, she didn’t have the best radar about people, either. Not according to Lawson, at least. “You won’t pick a lunatic.”

“Mommy? What’s a lunatic?” Sabrina asked, soliciting both of the women’s looks.

“Nobody, baby.” Beth cringed at Julie, who laughed.

It felt good to laugh, considering she’d cried for the good part of the last twenty-four hours. Today was a new day, though, and she’d put the past behind her now. No more crying over jerks who didn’t deserve her time or energy.

Two hours and four interviews later, Julie and Beth sat at the counter again. Sabrina was fast asleep on the couch, exhausted from her cross-examination of each interviewee.

“I didn’t like any of them as much as you,” Beth confessed. “But Lacey was nice.”

Julie held a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. “Sabrina liked her, too. And she said she could teach Sabrina how to play the piano. That’s cool.”

Beth considered this. “Lawson would’ve approved of her. I wish he’d been here. His is one of the most important opinions to me.” She looked up. “I’m not sure he cares about my opinion as much, but I think you’re pretty awesome together. He needs to hold on to you and never let go.”

Julie glanced down at the counter.

“Okay. Spill. Something is going on between you two. What is it?”

Julie shrugged as her eyes watered. Damn it. “Lawson and I broke up on Monday. It’s over between us.”

Beth’s eyes widened. “What? But he’s crazy about you. I’ve never seen him so happy. What happened?”

Julie shook her head. She still had no idea what had happened. “I guess he just changed his mind.”

“No way. Lawson is steadfast. He chooses a direction and doesn’t waver. If he chose you, he meant it.”

Julie reached for the box of Kleenex on the table. “Doesn’t matter because I have no business being in a relationship right now. I’m focusing on my career. It’s fine. Really.”

“Liar.” Beth lifted a brow. “I’ll talk to him tonight. He’s coming over for dinner. He’s being a dickhead and, as his sister, it’s my job to tell him so.”

Julie grabbed her purse. Whatever Beth learned, it wouldn’t change things. Lawson had broken her trust along with her heart, and she’d never be foolish enough to give him that chance again. “I have to head out. My cupboards are bare, so a trip to the grocery store is in order.”

“Thanks again for coming.” Beth walked her to the door. “So, you think Lacey is the one?”

“Lacey is definitely the one.” Julie hugged Beth’s neck. “Listen, I’m teaching a yoga class for children tomorrow afternoon at one o’clock. It’s usually on Sunday, but we’re moving it to accommodate some of the parents’ schedules. I think Sabrina would love it.”

Beth nodded. “I don’t have any plans, so maybe we’ll see you there.”

Julie smiled. “I hope so.”

Lawson had spent his Wednesday shuffling papers. He’d made schedules, put out some mild fires in the office, and tried not to think about Julie. Now his mind was numb. All he wanted to do was go home and watch a game on TV. But he’d made a promise to Beth and Sabrina. It was bad enough that he’d be leaving them the way everyone else in their lives had. He wasn’t going to start early by canceling on dinner tonight.

He drove home and put on a T-shirt and jeans. Leaving his hat on the hook, he walked through the woods to his sister’s home. Something loosened inside his chest as Sabrina came running out the side door to meet him.

“Uncle Lawson!”

“Hey there, sweetheart.” He lifted her up in the air. In a couple years she’d be too big to do so. And he wouldn’t be here to watch her grow. Damn. “What’s to eat?” he asked, setting her down.

“I’m getting grilled cheese,” she told him. “You and Mommy are getting yucky grown-up food.” She stuck out her tongue and giggled at him.

“Nope. I’m eating all the grilled cheese. It’s all mine,” he teased, following behind her.

“Nooooo!” Sabrina went running inside.

Beth looked up as they entered. “Wash your hands, you two. Dinner’s on the table in three minutes.”

Lawson did as she asked, and then headed back into the kitchen to help Beth lay out the silverware.

“Why didn’t you bring Julie?” Beth lifted a brow as she looked at him. “I made enough, just in case.”

“Maybe I wanted you and Sabrina all to myself tonight.”

His sister continued to watch him. She was fishing for information. He knew that Beth had spent the morning with Julie, who had no doubt filled her in on the breakup.

“Just say what’s on your mind,” he said.

“Okay. You’re being a jerk. You are screwing things up with Julie. She’s the best thing that has happened to you in a long time, and you know it.”

Not responding, he grabbed his glass and poured a generous serving of sweet tea. He breathed a sigh of relief as Sabrina came charging back into the room to dominate the conversation. Good.

“This isn’t over,” Beth said, pointing her fork in his direction.

“Is that a threat?” he teased, laying eyes on his meal. It looked good, and it felt good to be here with his family. This was something he would miss when he got transferred.

After eating, he did the honors of reading Sabrina her bedtime story and tucking her in. Then he made the long walk back into the kitchen knowing Beth would be waiting with questions. He just hoped he had the answers.

“What’s going on?” She pointed at a cup of coffee on the table. “Just the way you like it. Now sit.”

His weight came down heavily in the chair. “I got in a helicopter this week.”

Beth leaned forward. “What? That’s fantastic. Isn’t that fantastic?”

He shook his head. “I was set to fly it for a training exercise and my commander stopped me. I must’ve looked like I was marching toward my death or something. He said I wasn’t ready. It’s over.”

Beth frowned sympathetically. “You have to give yourself time, Lawson. You’ve always been one to want to just plow through challenges. It’s okay to—” She stopped when he looked up.

“There is no more time. I’m meeting with my commander on Friday, and I’m pretty sure he’s sending me to Camp Neally to be an instructor there.”

“Camp Neally? That’s two hundred miles away.”

The look on her face was one he hated to see. He’d always loved teasing his sister, ruffling her feathers. But disappointing her, that was something he avoided at all costs. “I’m sorry, Beth.”

She reached her hand out to cover his on the table. “You have nothing to be sorry about. You’re a Marine. I knew you wouldn’t stay here in Seaside with me forever. Sabrina and I will miss you, but we’ll be fine. Really.”

He nodded. “I know that.”

“Do you?” she asked. “Because sometimes you still think I’m that fifteen-year-old girl whose father bailed and whose mother was left to battle depression in addition to her cancer. You took care of us, Lawson, and you never stopped.”

Acid burned inside his throat. He wasn’t ready to stop caring for her just yet, either.

“And no one took care of you,” she said, squeezing his hand.

“You just made me a free dinner.”

“Some deal.” She smiled. “Maybe you can convince your commander to give you one more chance.”

Lawson had considered that, too. But that felt desperate, and while he was a lot of things, he wasn’t desperate. “I’m sure.”

Beth got up and stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “So that’s why you and Julie broke up? Because you’re leaving?” she asked. “She didn’t mention anything about that to me this morning.”

He didn’t respond.

Beth pulled back, her gaze searching his. “You didn’t tell her you were leaving?”

“She’s better off without me. Things are good for her here. Her dreams are coming true and…I don’t know. Maybe it’s better if—”

“You stupid idiot. She’ll go with you, Lawson. Julie loves you.”

“No.” He shook his head. “This is Julie’s home. She deserves to be happy.”

“You make her happy. Can’t you see that?” Beth sat across from him again. “Lawson, really? I thought you were smarter than this.”

He stood, unwilling to talk about it anymore because part of him wanted to run back to Julie and ask her to give up everything here and go with him. He’d considered doing just that every waking hour since he’d pushed her away. “I’ve got to go.”

“Lawson?” Beth said, reaching out her hand and grabbing his forearm. “Tell her. At least give her a choice.”

“I’ll think about it.” He pointed at her. “But, sis, you stay out of it. Promise me.”

She averted her gaze.

“Beth?”

“Fine. I promise,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “But I still think you’re a stupid idiot. And the best brother in the world.” She frowned. “I just want you to be happy.”

Bending, he kissed her forehead. “Ditto. Thanks for dinner. Good night.” Then, before Beth could say anything more, he walked out into the night.