Chapter 8

The air around Lawson was constricting as the helicopter jolted and the men inside sucked in what might be their last breath. Everyone knew it. They were in the enemy’s zone.

Adrenaline, and what some might call courage, forced him to say the words he didn’t quite believe. “Calm down. We’ll be all right.” He looked out the window, spotting a few scurrying men—like black dots on the ground at this distance. “Jenkins?” He glanced over at his copilot. “What’s the damage?”

Before Jenkins could answer, however, the helicopter was jolted again, throwing everyone around the metal container like they were nothing, mere feathers instead of trained Marines.

Someone screamed. The calming words that Lawson wanted to say didn’t come out this time. Partly because he was barely conscious. He could feel it, along with the warm trickle of blood on his face. There was no air now, only smoke and a pending feeling of doom.

Lawson sat up in bed, sucking in all the air around him, gasping for each breath as if he were still trapped inside the smoke. His hand clutched hard at his chest and he coughed with the memory. His shirt was sweaty.

Fuck. Another nightmare. When would it end? Or would he always be haunted by that helicopter ride? There should be a pill for this, to give the afflicted amnesia. He’d be first in line to take it, wipe out every memory he ever had. There weren’t too many good ones anyway. Becoming Sabrina’s uncle was one. Every moment with Julie was another.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes before glancing at the clock. It was early Saturday morning. The sun would be up within a half hour. A good jog would clear his head. After pulling on a pair of New Balance sneakers and a lightweight T-shirt, he grabbed his ball cap from the hook by the door and headed out. There was a path that led around the Seaside Park, then bordered the Intracoastal Waterway. He usually jogged it three or four times a week, if the weather permitted. Otherwise, he hit the gym for the treadmill and weights. And, lately, he did yoga.

Lawson stretched his calves for a long moment. They were sore. Julie’s class was meant to be stress-relieving, and it was up to a point, but it also stretched and strengthened areas of his body that he’d clearly neglected. He got in his truck and drove the short distance to the Seaside Park. Then he got out and started walking, working up to a fast jog and following the paved pathway as it curved. There was a nice spring breeze coming in off the water this morning. And despite his racing thoughts, hearing the gentle rustle of the trees that bordered him on one side as he passed the park was calming. He was nearly in a meditative state as he pounded past the waterway when a man in a pair of black sweats fell into stride beside him.

Lawson looked over and groaned. “You.”

“Me.” Griffin smiled widely. “You haven’t been at Heroes as much lately. I hear you’ve been seen spending time with Julie Chandler.”

Lawson’s pace slowed. “You keeping tabs?”

“Part of my duty as one of your best friends. The unspoken part. Are you seeing her?”

“Ah, geez.” Lawson headed toward a bench along the waterfront. “I came out to exercise, but, fine. If you want to talk, we’ll talk. But we’re not talking about me. We’ll talk about you.”

Something shifted in Griffin’s gaze.

“See? It’s no fun being on the other side of things, is it?” Lawson laughed despite his mood.

“Point taken.” Griffin wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Just be careful, man. That’s all I’m going to say. You have a lot going on right now. It might not be the best time to…you know.”

Had Griffin been talking to Dr. Pierce?

“Having sex is fine. Great for stress actually,” Griffin continued.

Lawson frowned. “I’m not talking to you about my sex life.”

“Good.” Griffin nodded. “I think that’s good. I favor my sleep. Don’t want visuals of you and Kat’s sister doing the dirty deed in my head. Not that she’s unattractive. Quite the opposite, actuall—”

“Done talking about this now.”

Griffin laughed and jabbed an elbow into his rib cage.

Lawson doubled over. “Ouch! Is that part of your unwritten job description, too? Beating up fellow Marines?”

Griffin shook his head. “Let’s go. I wanted to get in at least two miles before I head to the kennels and run Jaws.”

“Two?” Lawson stood and shook his head. “Lightweight.” Then he left Griffin in a blaze of dust, knowing good and well that his friend would be by his side in a matter of seconds. Good. Griffin was a needed distraction from the things he was running from.

On Tuesday morning, Julie stepped into her car and sucked in a breath. And, unless her imagination was screwing with her, the scent of Lawson’s cologne still lingered in the driver’s seat from when he’d fixed her car last week. If not for it being the first day at a new job, she might be tempted to sit here another few minutes and just soak in the aroma of a gorgeous man.

A gorgeous man who was a mistake waiting to happen.

She parked at Beth’s home and got out for her first day of babysitting.

“Hi,” Beth said, smiling wide as Julie approached the screen door. “Right on time. I left my cellphone number on the bar and Lawson’s number in case of an emergency. I’ll only be gone for a couple of hours. I’ll have my phone on vibrate while I’m riding so the ring doesn’t spook my horse…Oh, and I left out some food to cook for Sabrina’s lunch. She’s on a grilled cheese kick right now, so that should be easy. She’ll try to get you to raid the secret stash of last year’s Halloween candy, but that’s a big no-no.”

Julie nodded quickly at all the tips that flowed from Beth’s mouth. And there were a lot. How hard could it be to take care of one four-year-old for a couple of hours, though? Didn’t you just feed them and put them in front of the television? Or play dolls until it was time for their nap?

“And don’t even think about trying to get her to nap,” Beth said, pulling her purse over her shoulder. “That’s probably not a fight you’ll win.”

“Oh. Okay. No problem.” Julie waved a hand. “We’ll be fine. Go.”

Beth gave her an assessing look, then smiled. “Great. Thanks. I’ll see you later.” She grabbed her keys and kissed Sabrina’s cheek as the little girl came storming back into the kitchen. “Be good to Ms. Julie, okay?”

“Okay,” Sabrina said in a sweet-as-nectar voice.

When Beth was gone, Sabrina turned to face Julie. “Yay! Mommy’s gone! Let’s go play!” Her voice was full of enthusiasm. She grabbed Julie’s hand and started dragging her toward her bedroom down the hall. “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Right.” Julie kicked her shoes off as she was being pulled down the hall. A couple hours—no problem.

Forty-five minutes later, Sabrina had “made over” Julie’s hair, which was now knotted and sticking out in varying directions. Julie also had a new manicure in glittery orange and a throbbing headache behind her left eye.

“Wheee!” Sabrina said, jumping on the bed and landing with a loud thud on the floor.

“I’m not sure you should be jumping on the bed. Haven’t you ever heard the story about the Five Little Monkeys?”

“Wheeeee!” Sabrina said, not listening.

“Hey, Sabrina? Sweetie?” Julie stood and walked around to the front of the bed just in time to catch Sabrina as she jumped off the mattress again.

“Wheeee!”

“No more jumping on the bed,” Julie said, becoming a little more forceful.

“You’re not the boss of me.” Sabrina climbed up on the bed again and began to jump. So this was what Beth and Lawson had meant when they’d warned her that Sabrina was a handful.

“Okay. Time to relocate.” Distraction seemed like the best plan of action.

“Sabrina, let’s go watch a cartoon!” Julie tried to sound enthusiastic about the idea—anything to get the bundle of energy to take a rest. She hoisted Sabrina onto her hip and headed toward the living room. Julie still needed to pick up all the toys that Sabrina had strewn and refused to pick up on her own. She also needed to prepare lunch.

Setting her down on the couch, she put Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the TV.

“Are you hungry?” Julie asked.

“Cookies,” Sabrina said, grinning from one dimpled cheek to the other.

“I don’t think filling you with sugar is a good idea. Grilled cheese it is.” Julie headed toward the kitchen. She was second-guessing any future children she’d ever considered having. She didn’t have high hopes for finding love again during her childbearing years anyway.

Julie dipped inside the refrigerator and pulled out the items she needed. She was just about to unwind the twisty-tie on the bread when Sabrina’s scream tore through the house, piercing straight to Julie’s heart.

“Sabrina?” she gasped, dropping the bread on the counter and running down the hall. Her heart was beating so hard, it actually hurt as she ran. “Sabrina?” she called, turning into the room to see the little girl curled up on the floor and holding her head.

“Oww!” she cried. “It hurts!”

“What happened?” Julie went to her side, inspecting every square inch.

Sabrina was sobbing now. “Oww!” She held her hand to her head, right above her ear.

“Did you hit your head? Were you jumping on the bed?” Julie’s gaze went to the bedpost right behind Sabrina. Oh, God. She’d fallen and hit her head on the wooden post. The worst-case scenarios, which Julie was sure she didn’t know the half of, flashed through her mind. “Let me see.” She tried to pry Sabrina’s hand away, but it only made her cry harder.

“Oww! I want my mommy!” Large tears spilled over her ivory cheeks. “I want my mommy!”

“Okay.” Julie nodded, pulling her cellphone from her pocket. She might get fired over this, but right now she was more worried about cracked skulls and brain damage. She pulled up Beth’s name in her contact list and waited impatiently as the phone rang and Sabrina screamed in her ear. “Come on, come on, come on.”

The phone went to voicemail. Beth had told her she’d be available at all times. Julie dialed again, her fingers crossed, praying that Beth would pick up. She didn’t.

“How are you feeling, Sabrina? You okay?”

“Noooo!” Sabrina cried, shaking her head vigorously. “No. It hurts a lot! I need Uncle Lawson! It hurrrrts!”

Julie’s mouth fell open. She really, really didn’t want to call Lawson. He’d been nice enough to get her this job, and she’d gotten his niece hurt in a matter of hours. But what if Sabrina was seriously injured? Julie needed to call somebody. “Okay.” She scrolled through her contact list again. Beth had given her Lawson’s number as a second contact in case of an emergency, which this was. Or might be.

The phone rang twice and then Lawson’s voice came on the line. “Hello?”

“Lawson?” Julie hated the way her voice shook.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as Sabrina screamed louder beside her.

“It’s Sabrina. She fell and hit her head.” Tears were in Julie’s eyes now, too. She’d only walked away for a second to prepare lunch. How could things have gone so wrong?

“Calm down,” Lawson commanded. “I’m five minutes away. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay.” Julie took a breath, keeping her eyes on Sabrina. “It’s okay, honey. Your uncle is almost here.”

A soft whimper replaced the loud screaming. Just knowing Lawson was on the way made Sabrina feel better. It made Julie feel better, too. “He’ll take care of you.” Because, obviously, she had failed to do so.

“I’m pulling in the driveway now,” he said, still on the phone. “I’ll be there in just a second.”

Julie nodded to herself, more relieved than she’d ever been to know someone was coming to her rescue.

Lawson strode through the door of his sister’s home two minutes after disconnecting with Julie. He’d torn down the street just like the jackass who lived a few houses down. He had an excuse, though. Sabrina was in trouble, and family always came first. At least in Lawson’s book.

“Julie?” he called, walking briskly down the hall. When he turned the corner to Sabrina’s bedroom, he stopped to find Sabrina and Julie laughing. Julie was holding an ice pack to the side of Sabrina’s head.

“That was fast,” she said, looking a lot less stressed than she’d sounded on the phone a minute earlier.

“I was just down the street, heading in this direction anyway,” he said.

“To check on me?” she asked, her chin lifting just slightly.

“To drop these off.” He tossed a bag of cookies on the floor in front of them. “I promised the squirt a special treat if she didn’t run you off by noon.”

Julie’s eyes widened.

“So? What happened?” he asked.

“She fell and hit her head,” Julie recapped, looking sheepish, and sexy as hell. “I’m sorry. I just left her for a moment, I swear. I was going to make lunch and—”

He held up his hand. “Looks like you have everything under control now.” His gaze moved to Sabrina, who was reaching for the bag of cookies.

“You got the healthy kind, didn’t you?” Sabrina accused, crumpling her face.

“Yeah, so? It’s a cookie, isn’t it?” He sat on the floor beside them. “So your head is feeling better?” he asked his niece.

Sabrina nodded. Her eyes were bright, he noticed. Alert.

“Are you tired?” he asked.

She shook her head vigorously. Something a child wouldn’t do if they had a concussion.

“Good.” He turned to Julie. “And how are you doing?”

“It scared the”—she looked at Sabrina—“bejeebies out of me.” A soft smile colored her pretty face. She really was gorgeous, he decided, sitting this close to her. From her rigid posturing, he could tell she was expecting him to be mad at her. He hated that, and couldn’t help but wonder who the jackass was that had put that fear in her eyes.

“Want to know a secret?” he asked, leaning in toward her and lowering his voice. As he drew closer, the scent of her perfume tempted him to keep leaning in. Her gaze was hesitant to meet his.

“Am I fired?” she asked.

“Fired?” He laughed softly. “No. The secret is, Sabrina fell off the bed on my watch once, too. Except that time she actually did get a concussion. I had to take her to the emergency room. It was horrible. Scared me to death.”

The corners of her pink lips lifted. “Sounds awful. I’ll have to keep a better eye on her. Unless, of course…”

“No unless. You’ll be back tomorrow. My niece needs you. My sister needs you. That means I need you.”

Julie’s mouth quirked to one side.

“You deserve a cookie, too.” He reached for the bag and pulled one out, offering it to her.

“I happen to like healthy cookies,” she said, winking at Sabrina. “They make you big and strong.”

Sabrina seemed to consider this as she took another bite of hers. “I’m big,” she said finally.

“Bigger every day,” Lawson agreed.

“Can’t talk like that to a girl once she gets my age.” Julie met his gaze and damn, she was breathtaking even with the makeover Sabrina had given her.

“I have different ways of talking to a woman like you,” he said without thinking. Because if he were thinking, he wouldn’t be flirting with Sabrina’s sitter. According to Dr. Pierce, he shouldn’t be flirting with anyone at all.

“Can you stay for lunch?” Julie asked.

He started to say no. Needed to say no. But Sabrina was already climbing into his lap with cookie crumbs sprinkled around her lips as she cheered.

“I mean, you have to eat, right?” Julie asked, smiling.

Good. He’d made her feel better, which in turn made him feel like a million bucks. He’d been feeling more like a penny on tails lately. “Well.” He scratched his chin, finding a crumb that Sabrina had left behind when she’d landed a slobbery kiss on his face.

Julie laughed. “Need a tissue?” she asked.

He inspected the crumb and then licked his finger. “Those are good,” he said, making both of the girls in the room burst into giggles. Julie wasn’t a girl, though. She was a woman, one he’d be very obliged to spend time with if the circumstances were different. “Sharing a meal is nearly common law marriage in some places.”

Julie ran her hand along the carpeted floor. “I’m not looking for a commitment longer than half an hour.”

He nodded. “Then I guess my answer is yes,” he said, unable to argue. He’d just have a quick bite and leave. Easy. There was no reason to get skittish.

No reason at all.

Julie’s gaze kept flicking up to meet Lawson’s across the table. It was harmless. There was a child between them, supervising their every move. And they were both here for Sabrina. Not because of the man-woman, melt-the-clothes-right-off-you attraction buzzing between them.

Julie swallowed the last bite of her sandwich and got up to start the cleanup process. She carried her glass to the sink. When she turned around, Lawson was gone.

Sabrina shrugged. “He’s a Marine, you know.”

As if that explained her uncle’s disappearance. Julie guessed in Sabrina’s mind that explained her father’s current MIA status.

“Lawson?” Julie called, scanning the room. She heard movement down the hallway and went to check on what he was doing.

“I have to get back to work,” he said, walking toward her. In his hands he was carrying a pair of women’s boots. “They’re Beth’s. She won’t mind. Looks like you two wear about the same size.”

Julie’s brow furrowed. “Um…” She glanced down at the sparkly flip-flops on her own feet. They showed off the pedicure she’d given herself the other night. Her toes were painted a soft lavender color. “Thanks, but—”

“My turn to show you what relaxes me.” He held the boots out to her. “Beth won’t mind if you borrow them. Ask her for a pair of riding pants, too.” He kept walking past Julie.

“Excuse me,” she called after him, confused about what he was ordering her to do. She didn’t take orders from men anymore.

Lawson turned to face her. “I want to take you horseback riding this afternoon, Julie. I want to show you the world through my eyes. Show you what kicks my heart into overdrive and calms me like only Mother Nature can. Would you come with me?”

Her lips parted. Lawson’s order now sounded more like an invitation—one she couldn’t refuse. “Okay.”