Swinging a hammer is therapeutic. It is for me, anyway. I’ve spent the last four hours working on the porch of my house. This will be the most secure set of stairs in the county by the time I’m done with them. I should be inside working but this is better for releasing the tension that’s built inside me since I left Piper at the school. Or, more accurately, since she left me at the school.
The last few weeks have been great between us. We’ve grown closer, had quality time, and I thought we were on the same page with where we were heading in our relationship. I even planned to talk to Piper tonight about telling Ashton next week during Thanksgiving dinner.
I should’ve known this day would turn to shit when I had an early-morning text from Laurel. She’d started dating a guy she met through work so I hadn’t heard from her in a few weeks. When I checked my phone this morning and saw a text from her asking me if we could meet for coffee today during my lunch, I knew in my gut something was wrong. Then Tessa showed up.
I will never say anything against Tessa because she’s Piper’s mother. That being said, I now know who is responsible for all of the self-doubt Piper harbors. I’m under no guise that I am the best catch in town, but to encourage Piper to go back to Tony instead of being with me is ridiculous. I don’t know what else they talked about after I left, but considering her reaction to me this afternoon I can’t believe it was anything positive or Team Ben.
Lunch with Laurel solidified my feelings for Piper. There was never any doubt on my part, but one of the first things Laurel asked me was if I was in love. I didn’t tell Laurel that I was in love with Piper. That wouldn’t be fair to Piper or our relationship. She should be the recipient of that information before anyone else. I did confirm that I was with someone and this was a forever kind of relationship. Laurel said she was happy for me. Then she started crying.
I knew something was wrong when she texted me this morning. Since our split, we have talked a few times, but mostly kept in touch via text. A little over a month ago she kind of fell off the grid and I hadn’t heard from her. I knew she was dating again and figured she had met someone. There was nothing specific in the text this morning but it was just a feeling I had.
My instinct as she started crying was to offer her comfort, but she seemed to retreat from me. Instead, I held her hand and she started talking. Apparently the guy she was dating wasn’t the good guy he had portrayed. He is possessive and controlling. Picking up on what she wasn’t saying, I deduced he is also an abusive asshole.
Refusing to confirm or deny the abuse, she did confirm that she had secured a protection order from the bastard. I immediately saw red and wanted to hunt the guy down. Laurel said that since she began dating this guy, she hadn’t seen or talked to most of her friends and that was why she reached out to me. Unfortunately, a piece of paper doesn’t protect a person and he has still been bothering her indirectly.
I’m grateful Laurel knew she could come to me. Without a second thought, I invited her to stay at my parents’ house for a while and to spend Thanksgiving with us. She balked at the idea at first, but relented when I reminded her the jerk couldn’t find her here. I wanted to send her to the house immediately but she insisted on going home to pack a few of her things. I begrudgingly agreed after she promised to check in when she got home and come back tonight regardless of the time.
I wanted to get some time with Piper after school to check in from her talk with her mom this morning but also to let her know that Laurel was coming to town. I know that initially it may be awkward, but Piper will understand my need to help Laurel. Plus, if Laurel is going to be staying with my parents for the next week, we needed to come up with a game plan to explain why I’m staying with her for the next week. My personal preference is to just lay it all out and let the chips fall as they may. Like anytime I am able to just watch her, seeing Piper with her student reaffirmed how deep my feelings run and how amazing she truly is.
Then she served me her bullshit headache excuse instead of talking to me. I know it’s a bullshit excuse because she used it before on Ashton to get out of lying to her face. Obviously she doesn’t have the same concern when it comes to me. I have no idea what happened from the time I left her apartment and I arrived in her classroom but, whatever it is, I know I’m not going to like it.
I put down the hammer and walk to the cooler, contemplating one of the beers I brought or a water. It takes all of thirty seconds before I choose the beer. This choice means I’m done working for the night. I opt instead to have a fire and try for the fifth time to call Piper.
Like I’ve done the other four times, I follow up the voicemail with a text.
Me: I hope you’re feeling better. Call me so I know you’re ok or I’m coming over.
This time, I receive a response.
Piper: I’m fine. Please don’t come over.
Me: Tell me what I can do.
Piper: Just give me some space.
Me: Space? Is something wrong? Don’t do this Piper. Don’t run from me.
Piper: Please, Ben. Space. I just need to process.
Me: Can I at least text you?
Piper: In moderation. Don’t be a creepy stalker.
Me: It’s not stalking if you want me to do it.
Piper: Says every stalker.
Me: See if I was there we could debate my stalker status.
Piper: Nice try. Please respect my request, Ben.
Me: I always respect you. I don’t like it but ok. Get some rest and sleep well.
Piper: I will.
Me: I won’t. I’m used to you in my arms.
Piper: Ben…
Me: It’s true. Sleep well, Princess.
Piper: Night, Cowboy.
It’s not the same as talking to her, but at least it was a conversation. Since I won’t be spending my night with Piper, I decide to text Jameson. I’m sure he’s going out or has a date but it’s worth a shot. When I scroll down to his name I note it’s been over a week since I’ve called or talked to him. He’s sure to give me shit for that.
Me: What are you up to tonight?
Jameson: Who is this?
Me: Screw you asshole.
Jameson: Oh is this that guy I know? Ben Sullivan?
Me: Hardy har har. Don’t quit your day job.
Jameson: What’s up dick?
Me: Nothing just seeing what you were up to. I was just finishing up work on the house for the night.
Jameson: I’m actually out your way, I’ll swing by.
Me: Cool. I’ll be here.
Twenty minutes later Jameson has joined me by the fire I started. Armed with his own beer, he takes the seat next to me. We’re quiet for a few minutes and I welcome the silence because I know I’m about to get an earful about leaving my buddies hanging and about Piper. I still haven’t confirmed there’s anything going on between Piper and me, but Jameson has enough figured out to know where I’ve been the last few weeks.
“So, where’s Piper tonight?”
That didn’t take long.
“She has a headache.”
“So we aren’t skirting the issue, you’re going to admit you’re together?”
“I’m not skirting. I’ve been respecting her wishes but I have a feeling something is wrong and I need to talk to someone.”
“Mmhmm. I see. So I’m good enough when you need someone to unleash your secret relationship on but not enough to just hang out? That’s cold, Ben.”
I turn to him to defend myself and see he’s smiling.
“Dude, I’m sorry. I’ve been a shit friend haven’t I?”
“Nah, man. You’re in love. This is what happens. I’m just giving you a hard time.”
“Thanks.”
“Wait, you didn’t deny the love part.”
I opt to not answer. I am committed to Piper being the first person to hear that I love her, but I won’t deny it.
“I’m not talking about that with you. If I’m having that conversation, it’s going to be with Piper.”
“I see. Well, good for you. Both of you. When are you coming out?”
“I hope next week. I wanted to talk to her tonight and tell my parents first. Kind of use them as a buffer for Ash on Thanksgiving.”
“Thanksgiving. Good call. Ashton is her happiest when there is pie.”
Over the next few hours I relay my day to Jameson and he offers the spare room at his house for Laurel. As much as I appreciate the offer, I think Laurel needs to be somewhere she is familiar with. Plus, my mom will mother her to death and that’ll also be good for her. Before we leave I promise to not be a recluse anymore and commit to a few runs this week and poker with the guys.
The drive back to my parents’ house is depressing. Each mile that clicks away on the odometer is a reminder of how I’d rather be heading to Piper and her bed. I should’ve just stayed at the house tonight, but Laurel texted me that she’s going to get in after midnight and I want to be there when she does. Plus, I need to run a little interference with Ashton before Laurel gets there. Ash has never really been a fan of Laurel’s and I need to get her up to speed before she says something snarky.
I have a little time before Ashton should get home from work so I opt for a shower and a snack. After rummaging the fridge, I put together a mish-mash of a meal and am only about halfway through it when the kitchen door opens and Ashton walks in.
“Well, hello there, stranger. Finally come up for air?”
“Hey, sis.” My response is not nearly as antagonistic as hers.
“Whoa, what’s going on? Someone die? Are the parentals okay?”
Pushing my plate away, I take a drink of my milk before answering. “Yeah, they’re fine. It’s just been a shit of a day.”
“Problems with your lady love?”
I’m taken aback by her comment. She couldn’t possibly know about Piper and me. “Lady love?”
“Come on, you haven’t slept here in weeks and if you’ve been at your house then you’d be in traction from sleeping on the floor. One can only assume there’s a lady love in the scenario,” she replies, sitting down as she takes my fork and starts eating the rest of my food.
“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I’m going to just skirt on by her comments about a lady love.
“Sure, what’s going on? You’re being weird, even for you.”
I tell her about Laurel and how I invited her for the week. I expected a smart-ass comment from Ashton about Laurel, but I was wrong.
“Oh my goodness. Ben, that’s awful. Is she okay? Of course she should stay here. Did she call the police and stuff?”
“Yeah, she did. I think she just needs a change of scenery and regroup. I figured this was a safe place for her. I felt really bad, Ash. Can I tell you something?”
She nods as she slides the plate away, the topic obviously effecting her appetite.
“I feel responsible.”
“What? No way, Ben. You cannot assume the responsibility of this.”
“Logically I know it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but wonder if I hadn’t moved back home if this would have happened.”
“Of course it wouldn’t have happened.” I’m stunned by her response, and before I can respond she continues, “You never would have broken up and therefore there would have been no asshole rebound guy. But, Ben, you weren’t happy and since you’ve been home … well, you’ve been different. I kind of like you now. You’re not all stuffy and boring.”
I laugh a little at that last comment. I was completely boring the last few years. I blame the ties I wore every day. Of course I know I’m not responsible for Laurel’s current situation, but the reality of it all is that I ended things between us and she dated this guy. I wish I could call and talk to Piper.
Screw it. I pick up my phone while Ashton is lecturing me and send a text to Piper.
Me: Sorry it’s late. I need to talk to you. Are you up?
After ten minutes, Ashton has wrapped up her lecture on how Laurel’s life choices are not my responsibility and that she’ll spend the next few days with her to help keep her busy. There’s been no response from Piper. I realize how late it is and that she’s probably asleep.
Suddenly the weight of the day hits me like a ton of bricks. While I wait for Laurel to arrive, I make up the couch as my temporary bed. A quick check of the time confirms that tomorrow is going to be a long day.
Laurel looks slightly overwhelmed with the attention my mom and Ashton are giving her this morning. The entire time we were together I would have sworn neither of them liked her or wanted her in this house. Now, I think they’d prefer I leave and she stay. Which I’ll have to do at some point because they are planning a movie marathon. I heard something about avoiding all romances or movies with happy endings so I assume it’s going to be Ashton’s preferred collection of Dolly Parton movies. While they do have happy endings, they also are campy with a lot of singing.
I manage to steal Laurel away from them for a check-in. Grabbing our jackets, we make our way outside and each settle in one of my mom’s deck chairs. Happily enjoying the quiet, I realize this is something that Laurel and I have always done. We’ve always been able to just be in each other’s company and enjoy a comfortable silence. After a few minutes I can feel a shift in the mood.
“Thank you for inviting me here, Ben. Your mom and sister have been great. I could’ve sworn they hated me all these years.”
I turn my head to look at her and she mimics the movement. “Honestly?” I ask and she nods. “So did I.” We both laugh. “My family is kind, Laurel. Let my sister and mom hover and care for you.” She offers no response so I continue, “How are you doing otherwise?”
“I’m okay.” I notice that she absently tugs on the sleeves of her coat and rubs her forearms. I flinch as the thought of that asshole laying his hands on her. My own hands morph into fists in an instant. My desire to find this prick and pulverize him is high.
“I hate this for you. What do the police say?”
Turning her head to look off in the distance, her voice is flat and devoid of emotion. “Not much. I spoke to the prosecutor yesterday before I came to see you. It’s his first offense.” I scoff in response. “Okay, the first time someone has followed through with the allegations.” She laughs in a way that kills me.
“That’s what they call them. Allegations. Like he didn’t…” I hear a hiccup as she pushes down tears and emotion.
“He’ll likely plead it down and be ordered to some sort of anger management. No jail time.”
“That’s bullshit. Can’t you fight that?”
“I’m not in charge. I really just want this to be over. I think I’m going to find a new place to live. One less way for him to bother me.”
The pain in her voice is unlike anything I’ve ever heard from her. I reach over and grab her hand and offer a gentle squeeze. She never moves her gaze, but responds with a squeeze of her own. Another few minutes go by and she twists to her side and faces me, offering me a smile. I know what comes next.
“Tell me about the woman you’re seeing.”
My eyes go wide and she raises a brow at me. “It’s complicated.”
“Come on, complicated or not you need to tell me.”
“Uh, actually I don’t. How’d you know, anyway?”
“Ashton. She said something about not seeing you and how you were obviously hooking up with some girl you were ashamed of, otherwise why would you keep her away from the family.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Leave it to Ashton to use Laurel for her dirty work.
“I see. Is this some sort of bonding experiment between you and Ashton? She’s having you find out the details on my personal life since I won’t tell her?”
“No, this is completely my doing. Come on, Ben. You look like you’re ready to burst at the seams. Plus, you’ve checked your phone at least a dozen times since I arrived. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know that I feel comfortable talking to you about this.”
“Hush up. We’re friends, aren’t we?” I agree. “I came to you when I needed help. That’s what friends do. Let me reciprocate. Please, Ben. I need something good to happen for one of us.” I can hear a quiver in her voice and know that she’s trying so damn hard to be strong in all of this.
“Okay. If I talk to you about this, you have to promise to lock it up tight. Nobody knows.” She smiles in response. “I’m not kidding, Laurel. Do not use this as a bonding tool with Ashton. Especially Ashton.”
“Okay, geez. Dramatic much? Hit me with your secrets.”
“I’ve kind of been seeing my sister’s best friend.”
“Whoa.” I nod in agreement.
“Have I met her before?”
“No, and actually I hadn’t seen her in years until the night I moved back. I guess anytime we visited she wasn’t around.”
That gets me thinking a little. Piper never was around when Laurel and I visited. For years I came home for visits, sure they were far and few between but I visited, and never once saw Piper.
“Very interesting. So, nobody knows? Ashton?” I shake my head. “Is there some sort of reason nobody knows?”
I lay it all out for her. How I made a spontaneous move one night at the bar, Ashton’s likely response, my trying to pursue something with Piper, her stance regarding Ashton, and her sudden headache yesterday. I stopped short of my feelings for her.
“You’re in love with her.” I don’t respond. “You haven’t told her, have you?” Again, no response. “I see. Well, I think therein lies your problem.” The only response I offer is a motion of my hand for her to continue. To which she responds with an eye roll. “I’d bet that this woman, can I at least know her name?”
I smile. “Piper.”
“Thank you. Piper, great name by the way, needs you to lay it all out for her. Tell her you love her, Ben. Make the grand gesture. You have to do this before it’s too late. She’s in limbo right now.” My expression must show the confusion I feel. “You are an amazing man, but so very stupid.”
“Hey!” I shout and she shushes me. I take it down to a whisper. “Hey, I’m not stupid.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she says, very patronizing, “but you are.” She all but tsks me like a child.
“Here’s the deal,” she begins as she sits up straighter, and with a little fire in her. “You love this Piper and I’d bet my last dollar she loves you too. But, you’re both so worried about doing things right you aren’t being true to yourselves and surely you aren’t giving Ashton enough credit. I don’t know your sister well, but I can tell you from a female perspective, the secret will be worse than the truth.”
Laurel stands up and begins to walk toward the slider when she stops and places a hand on my shoulder. “Follow your heart, Ben. Tell her how you feel and then tell your sister. If I’ve learned anything in these last few months, it’s that life is too short and true love is something to respect.”
I remain in my seat as Laurel returns to the house to begin her bonding time with my mom and sister. She’s right. I have sat back these past few weeks trying to not scare Piper and all it has done is leave us in limbo. I love her and want to be with her. I see her living in my home, hosting our own Thanksgiving dinner, and as the mother to my children. I need to stop waiting for her to be ready and make the grand gesture.