Chapter Twenty-Five
January 2017
Andorra was a beautiful backdrop for a writer. Lydia had ordered room service for lunch and spent the afternoon in her hotel room at the desk putting together all her notes. She was already shaping the article more than she’d thought she would’ve done on this trip. Her creative side was in full flow and she couldn’t ignore it.
Jonathan had texted again to thank her for last night, and she found herself comparing him to Theo again. Theo had been a typical rugby lad right from the start and she sensed he’d not settled down into coupledom properly until they were both well and truly out of university and in the workforce. And while Lydia and Theo had slept together very quickly after they met and the deep feelings beyond a physical attraction had developed much later, Jonathan had been cautious last night in his approach, extra polite, a complete gentleman. But, she sensed, if things progressed he’d be all man when the time was right, and the thought distracted her continuously as she tried to concentrate on what she was doing.
Midway through the afternoon, Jonathan texted again to say he was about to do the same black run he’d shown her a recording of last time. He’d asked her to meet tonight for a drink at one of the local bars and as soon as she replied that yes, she would, he texted back to say that if he wasn’t there at eight o’clock, she should feel free to send out the search party.
She wrote for a while longer, and then after a walk in the fresh air, returned to the hotel for a shower and got ready for the evening. It was a long time since she’d dressed up for another man and it felt odd, but she told herself she’d make the same effort if she was going out with Sally. Sometimes Theo had asked why they got dolled up for a night on the town when they both had other halves waiting at home. She’d told him it made them feel good, reminded them they weren’t past it, at least not yet.
The bar they found in town was loud, and the après-ski was in full swing but it didn’t take long for Lydia and Jonathan to join in, and they danced long into the evening. By the time they left and negotiated the steep hill down towards the street below, Lydia was ready to drop.
‘I haven’t danced that much in a bar for ages,’ she said as they began walking in the direction of her hotel. ‘How small was that dance floor?’
‘Pretty small. And I very rarely dance. There should be a law against uncoordinated people like me even being allowed on the dance floor.’
‘I think you’re putting yourself down. You weren’t bad at all. You can move and you’re not too stiff in the hips like a lot of men.’ She was glad he couldn’t see how her cheeks flushed at the last comment.
‘How come you’re so good?’
She grinned at him.
‘Oh don’t tell me, you’re a dance champion?’
‘Not quite. But I do dance, I have done for years.’
‘Well I’m glad you didn’t tell me back there at the bar.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I wouldn’t have set foot on the dance floor, no way.’
‘Then I’m glad I didn’t tell you either.’ Her insides fizzed at the thought of how much fun they’d had together tonight.
They reached the entrance to the hotel and he followed her through the glass doors. ‘I’m not working tomorrow,’ he said. ‘I was wondering whether you’d like to go out on the slopes with me again.’
‘Honestly?’ They’d reached the lift and she pressed the button.
‘Is that a no?’
‘You’ll be bored going at a snail’s pace while I tackle the green runs in my dainty snow plough. Can I make a suggestion?’
‘Go for it.’ He stepped in to the lift after her. He was obviously walking her all the way back to her room again, just like he had last night.
‘I need to check out the shopping precinct—’
‘Oh no, don’t do that to me.’
‘I wouldn’t.’ She laughed. ‘But how about we meet in the afternoon and go mushing?’
‘That sounds like a good idea.’ His eyes locked with hers until she was saved from the moment by the lift doors opening up to reveal their escape.
At the door to her room they confirmed the time to meet tomorrow, and just before Lydia pushed open the door, Jonathan stepped closer and kissed her goodnight. A simple kiss but it landed on the side of her mouth rather than her cheek and he only pulled away for a second before their lips met again and the kiss became more passionate than Lydia thought possible. Different to kissing Connor, this kiss was filled with feelings that were one hundred per cent reciprocated. It was a kiss to start something new rather than run away from something that was fading into her past, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for it to end.
The thumb of his hand holding her face caressed her bottom lip. ‘That was a nice way to finish the night.’ He kissed her once more and she was convinced he was going to come into the hotel room but instead he said goodnight and she hovered until he was almost at the lift before she went inside.
She leaned against the closed door in a daze. This was real. This wasn’t a romp in the hay like it’d been with Connor, to help her grieving and break the drought of not having sex for a really long time. This wasn’t a source of comfort to take her mind off Theo and whether or not she was right to be moving on. This was real.
And it scared the life out of her.
*
Jonathan suggested Grandvalira for mushing this time, and happy to experience a new terrain, Lydia couldn’t wait to get going.
‘The dogs look like they’re raring to go.’ She watched as the huskies pulled at their harnesses, the sled fixed so they wouldn’t go anywhere.
‘Are you?’ asked Jonathan.
‘Of course. Wow, look at them over there.’ To one side, a couple on skis were mushing with a professionalism Lydia could only dream of. ‘I think I’ll stick to the guided version.’
‘Maybe next time we can try it ourselves,’ Jonathan suggested, but her face clearly told him it wouldn’t be happening.
Jonathan looked extra handsome today in a marl-grey jacket with salopettes with yellow piping at the sides. His face was tanned with only the faintest of goggle marks, suggesting he spent as much time outside when he wasn’t skiing as he did when he was.
‘I wonder if the sun ever goes down around here,’ Lydia mused.
‘Beautiful, isn’t it? This is the right kind of cold weather. Not like back in England where it’s grey and dull, cold and wet. This is crisp, dry and bright. Much nicer.’
The musher indicated they could climb into the sled and Lydia realised she hadn’t quite thought this through because she’d be lying in between Jonathan’s legs. It was an intimate position, leaning back into him. Sitting on reindeer skins and covered with blankets tucked in around their feet, it was the epitome of cosiness. She laughed inwardly, knowing this gave her another angle for her article. She could talk about how to make that snow holiday romantic with a cosy sled ride for two, roaring fireplaces in hotels and restaurants, red wine drunk long into the night when the kids were tucked up in bed.
They’d been told to keep their limbs inside the sled at all times and so Jonathan wrapped his arms around Lydia. She held onto his hands and with a squeal as soon as they set off, she couldn’t stop smiling. She could hear him laughing too as the dogs took off upon the appropriate command, and with practised ease they followed the pathways with an enthusiasm that rivalled Lydia’s. The wind whipped past their faces. She caught her breath, and before long the laughter and excitement gave way as she relaxed and looked ahead, up at the spectacular scenery. The sun shone in the pale blue sky, tall trees tipped with frost surrounded them, and the snow muffled any other sounds apart from the mushers’ commands: Hike! Easy! Gee! Haw! and the faint tap-tapping of the huskies’ paws against the snowy ground.
Lydia let herself relax into Jonathan and felt his chin on her head. It was an electric atmosphere, charged with excitement, but at the same time she felt every other concern she may have had evaporate. The dogs made their way through the snowy paths of the forests, up hills as easily as they went down, skilfully negotiated bends as the musher continued to give commands. It felt like being in Narnia, having just stepped out of the wardrobe, and Lydia couldn’t imagine being anywhere else right now as the sun’s golden glow at the end of the pathway guided them and ensured the snow sparkled.
Back where they started, Lydia collapsed into more laughter as she tried and failed to pull herself to standing in the sled. She’d lost all strength in her arms and legs.
Jonathan stood behind her and hoisted her up. ‘Reminds me of the first time we met, on the slopes,’ he breathed into her ear once they were out of the sled and when she turned to him, swept up in the moment, she planted a kiss on his lips that surprised him so much he stumbled back and landed on his arse.
‘I’m so sorry!’ She put a hand out to help him up but when he took it he pulled her down on top of him and landed a pile of snow on top of her head.
Lydia scooped up more snow and the fun continued until they were asked to please move out of the way.
Reprimanded, they giggled their way back to La Massana. ‘So tell me…’ said Jonathan, nursing a cappuccino as Lydia sipped the froth from a hot chocolate. She’d cut out the cream this time, it was getting sickly even for her. ‘…how is a girl like you single?’
The hot chocolate burnt her throat. She hadn’t anticipated the question. Stupid really. If you were cavorting around with another man, it was a perfectly legitimate thing to ask. But behind her hot chocolate, she shrugged.
‘Are you single?’ she asked to avoid the question.
‘Of course.’ He grinned. ‘I wouldn’t be kissing you otherwise.’
‘That’s good.’ He was still staring at her and that, if nothing else, would force her to be honest. ‘It takes a lot for me to describe myself as single, but there’s an explanation.’
‘Go on.’ She hesitated until he said, ‘I’m a good listener. And I could tell from the first time we had drinks that there was something you weren’t telling me.’ When she looked at him with something akin to panic, he added, ‘Why do you think I’ve left you at your hotel room each time and didn’t try to follow you inside?’
She pushed her drink away even though she’d only had half. ‘Do you mind if we walk? Somehow the fresh air might clear my head and make this easier to explain.’
‘Sounds like a good idea.’ He fetched two takeaway cups but Lydia couldn’t stomach hers and so he poured his coffee into one and they left the café.
‘I guess I should start from the beginning,’ she said as they set off down the street, away from the crowds.
She wasn’t sure how long they’d walked for, but by the time they eventually arrived back at her hotel, Jonathan knew everything there was to know. He knew about university, their lives in London, the home in Bath, the accident and every day since. He knew about Theo’s affair, the gambling. She even told him about Connor, because whatever this thing between them was, it had to start with total honesty. And for the whole time she talked, Jonathan hadn’t said a word.
‘So…’ Her breath met the air as she sighed. Standing outside her hotel she couldn’t look at him. ‘That’s it, that’s my story.’
He put a hand beneath her chin and tilted her face so she had no choice but to look at him. But he still didn’t say anything. He kissed her once, on the lips, and then pulled her into a hug so tight she knew this was a whole lot more than a simple holiday romance.