Chapter 19

SEQUESTERED

JENNER

For the next few weeks, I did everything in my power to give her the space she wanted. In court, I fought not to make eye contact, hoping she found comfort in the space. She didn’t squabble when I ruled against the State. And, she hadn’t been to my office even once. But I waited. Hoping.

That day, I woke to dry gin mouth. Trying to drown memories, I’d indulged in a few too many martinis last night. And now a severe ache seared through my head. Never had I utilized sick leave before, but I speculated today might be the day.

My phone rang as I sat at my desk contemplating my decision. At the same time I picked up the receiver, Larry walked into my office. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night I left his house. He was undoubtedly the one who had informed my father about my questionable relationship. I understood. I wasn’t mad at him. He was my chief judge and my father’s friend.

“This is Judge Weber,” I answered, holding up my index finger to Larry.

“Judge Weber? This is Wayne Collison from the Post.”

I swallowed hard as my eyes darted up to Larry who literally plopped down in my office chair. “The Post?” he whispered.

I nodded.

“Sir, I was wondering if you’d like to comment on a piece we are running in tomorrow’s paper.”

“That depends on the nature of the piece,” I answered. My eyes never left Larry’s. His carried enough concern for the both of ours.

“Yes, sir. It’s an article reporting that Your Honor participated in a love affair with a New York County assistant district attorney who served your division. Would you like to comment for the story, sir?”

“No. I have no comment. But I suggest you get yourself an attorney,” I threatened.

“Judge Weber, we have a witness who is reporting such actions. Are you concerned that your cases shared with Ms. Edwards will be scrutinized by the appellate court?”

They knew it was Lucy… Fuck! A witness? Who the hell? Larry held up a piece of paper as he glanced down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I read directly from it. “This story is a complete fabrication; therefore, I have no comment.”

I disconnected the call, loosened my tie and regret soured my mouth instantly. This was a truth I wasn’t going to get out of. I had no answers. None. This was not fabrication. The only thing I was sure of was Lucy.

Larry abruptly stood. “What the hell are we going to do?”

“How about you call 9-1-1.”

Larry’s jaw tightened ticking in and out as he ground his teeth. “God damn it, Jenner. This isn’t just about you. This is also about your father. This is the integrity of this court system. This county.”

“Has the Post contacted Lucy about this?”

Larry’s eyes widened nearly bugging out of his head. “You’re concerned about Lucy?”

“Yes, I am.”

“If the news has wind of this story, she has probably already been fired.”

“Shit!” I should have realized Daryanne wouldn’t leave it alone.

“I’m going to call your father, Jenner. He needs to prepare and brace himself for this.”

I stood, grabbing my cell phone from my jacket pocket. “You see Larry, you added in a fuck there that I didn’t give.”

My phone screen was blank. It had been blank for several weeks.

“I have to prepare a statement, Jenner. We have to stay ahead of this. Will you at least help me with that?”

“Stay ahead of it? I think we are a little too late on that. But, of course I will. My statement would begin with ‘Daryanne Watkins should be fired. I’d had a relationship with Ms. Watkins prior to my judgeship. I ended things prior to beginning my judicial service. She reported this to the press as a jilted, rejected lover whose only motive was revenge. This had nothing to do with Lucy Edwards and she should be completely left out of the equation. Neither a case nor child was ever in jeopardy nor was any bias or favoritism shown. Lucy Edwards is a brilliant attorney who has the best interest of the child always at the foremost of her mind.’”

I smiled at Larry and the adversity in front of us. With caution, he reached over, touching my forearm.

“Jenner. You have the perfect little world. Please think about this before you blow it off.”

I slid my arms into my suit coat. “The thing is Larry, this isn’t really my world. It’s the world that my father created for me.”

There was no malice in my words to him. Unfortunately, Larry was having to deal with something that he shouldn’t have to. And…that was my fault. Things were just becoming clearer every day to me.

As I left my office, my reputation, everything I’d thought was important to me was on the line. I knew that. But there was a bigger part of me that needed to make sure that Lucy was ok, and honestly, that trumped everything. Whether she wanted to see me or not, I was coming her way.

LUCY

The muscles in my arms burned as the boxes filled with the little bit of crap I’d accumulated in the five months I’d worked for the State. My eyes scanned the cars parked in the loading zone, but I didn’t see Henley yet. I set the boxes down, giving my aching arms a break, glancing at my law books, the pictures in the frames and my law diploma…a short shelf life for all of them.

When the light rain began to fall, I simply closed my eyes. Things had only seemed to get worse for me as the weeks had drug on. People on the sidewalks began to scurry indoors, held newspapers over their heads and popped up umbrellas, though they didn’t bode very well in the brutal, gale-force winds. Between the time Henley pulled up and parked and the time it took me to walk with boxes in tow to her car, I was soaked and frozen to the bone.

“Seriously?” she shouted, opening her trunk, then slamming it shut once I shoved the wet boxes inside. “She fucking fired you? What did he say? I thought you were going to quit.”

I wasn’t in the mood for the questions. Outside of feeling emotionally depressed, I was physically exhausted—to the point that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed. “I was going to quit. But I still don’t have another job, and I was hoping to find one first. It’s fine. My resume has been sent several places.” I sighed, collapsing into her front seat.

“What a bitch. I can’t believe she fired you. Though I would have fired you too.”

“Thank you. Will you do me a favor?”

“Go beat her ass?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Drive by the courthouse.”

“Of course. Why?”

“Because it’s perfect and symbolic of everything I just lost. When I walked up the steps of that courthouse the first time, something inside of me came alive.”

“Yeah, so alive, you fucked the judge.”

My hair was so wet that water streaked my face and dripped onto my clothes and off the tip of my nose. As we drove by the courthouse, I stared up at the ginormous pillars and steps leading up to them. “God, Henley. This all happened so fast. How did this happen?”

“I don’t even have anything funny to say to that, Luce. This is crazy. This is like national news shit. Or at least Inside Edition or something. Scorned lover fires current lover of district court judge who happens to be the son of US supreme judge. Wicked news.”

“Well, let’s just thank God that it hasn’t made the news. Better that the bitch fired me than telling the entire world.”

Henley zigzagged through traffic as she drove me to my apartment. Once she parked out front, I sighed. “I’m going to the farm. Just for a bit.”

“That’s a long ways away.”

“I know. I just really need to get my shit together. The farm is home. Honestly, I need to get away from him.”

“Have you seen him?”

I shook my head; my heart racked with unbearable hurt. “No. Not since the funeral. I told him to stay away from me.”

“That’s good. He knows the two of you aren’t right, too.”

“What difference does it make now that I’m fired?”

Henley shrugged. “I guess none. But do you really believe that bitch just stopped by his house?”

I tilted my head to the side. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.” I blew out a long breath. “I’ll have my phone, but reception is a little spotty.”

She nodded. “OK. I understand. Please keep me posted. OK?”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

It didn’t take me long to throw some clothes into a bag, gather a few personals, pack up my computer and shut things down in my apartment. I told Midge where I was going, and she agreed to take care of my mail plus keep an eye on the place. Being true to her character, she didn’t ask anything, just embraced me with a tight, soothing hug. The smell of confections and joy clung to her.

I had to figure this thing called my life out. It was time.

***

Two days…that’s how long it took for me to get settled and for the old farmhouse to feel like home. I spent the first day cleaning most everything, thinking about times spent with Pops. Thinking about our spring planting, summer crop, fall harvest and cold winters. A lifetime of memories spent with the best grandfather in the world. Sadly, only a shell of him existed now. I’d make a point to go into the city to see him tomorrow. The place Jenner had found for Pops was perfect. I never got to tell Jenner thank you. That sick feeling in my gut returned as thoughts of Jenner filled my head.

Still feeling exhausted and run-down, I’d not gotten out of my pajamas all day. I’d made a pot of chicken and noodles and mashed potatoes, and I ate until I was stuffed, sitting in front of the fire enjoying the smell of the burn and the sound of the crackling wood. When the doorbell rang, I shot upright. No one knew I was here. Except for Henley, and she would have called first.

I peeked out the side window, to see a man standing in the front porch light. His brows pulled together in confusion.

“Lucy?” he said, but I didn’t really recognize him, I didn’t think.

I opened the front door, knowing the screen door was locked. “Yes?”

“Damn girl. It’s been a long time. It’s me, Ethan. Hank’s son.”

Without reservation, I unlocked and opened the screen door. “Ethan! Oh my goodness.” I threw my arms around his neck.

He’d gotten older, we all had, but he’d filled out and was a mini replica of Hank. Better looking even.

“Please come in.”

He stepped into the house, his flannel shirt smelled like outdoors. His brown work boots were worn as were his faded jeans.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, Dad’s been staying with Cindy in town to stay as close to Pops as he can. So, I come here nightly to get the mail, check on the place and all. I was in the city last night and didn’t make it by. What about you?”

I shrugged. “Life. Circumstance.” I hid my pain with laughter.

“You always wanted to get to the city to be a hot shot attorney and now you’re back here? I’m surprised. You look great by the way, Little Miss.”

Ethan’s crooked smile was the best welcome home present ever.

“Your eyes are sad,” he said, walking past me to Pops’ liquor cabinet. I watched as he spun the cap off the Jack. He poured two shots, then held one out to me.

After an exaggerated eye roll, I smiled and walked over and took it. He held his glass, waiting to be clinked by mine. The whiskey burned all the way down till it collided with my stomach—and then came rushing right back up. I sprinted to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before hurling up the whiskey, and my dinner.

“You ok in there?” Ethan called from the living room.

“I’m fine,” I called back, running water in my hands to rinse out my mouth. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror as I passed. Pale face. Dark circles under my eyes. God, I was a mess.

“Sorry about that. I guess I can’t hold my liquor as well I thought.”

Ethan just smirked and poured himself another shot. His eyebrows shot up in a question.

“Oh, no,” I laughed. “I’m not about to put more of that whiskey in my stomach after that last shot.” I sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to me in silent request. Ethan obliged.

“You gonna tell me?” he asked, taking another drink.

“Not a lot to tell. I made a poor decision. Came out here to get lost for a bit.”

“I doubt you made a poor decision, Little Miss. You overthought just about everything growing up. But I tell you what, if you want to get lost, this is the place to do it—as you ain’t hidin’.”

I bit down on the side of my cheek as I slid my feet beneath me on the sofa.

“What’s his name?”

“Jenner.”

“He hurt you?”

I had to think about that. “We hurt each other.”

“You really want to talk about this?”

“No. Not particularly.”

“Perfect. Me either,” he laughed. “I’m the furthest thing from Dr. Phil. Claire and I can barely figure our own shit out.” He laughed doing another shot.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m gonna head back anyway. How long you thinkin’ ‘bout stickin’ around? Want me to come back tomorrow?”

He grabbed a throw off the chair and tossed it over me.

“I don’t know how long I’ll stay,” I said, snuggling beneath it. “It feels really nice here right now. I could make dinner for us tomorrow night if you want to come back.”

“Six?”

“Sure. Bring Claire?”

“Nah. I enjoy my own time here each evening.” He winked.

“See you then.”

He nodded as if he was tipping his hat in agreement. “I’ll dead bolt the door. You stay put. Goodnight, miss,” he whispered, leaning down and kissing the top of my head. I watched as he pulled the door closed and locked it.

“Goodnight,” I said to the back of the door.

When I picked up my phone, I saw a voicemail from Jenner that had come in that morning. I didn’t have a clue how I’d missed it but I wondered if reception kept it from coming in earlier.

Hi Lucy. I need you to call me. It’s urgent.

First thing, I called to check on Pops. Hank said he was doing just fine. The only other thing it could be was that he’d heard about my termination. My guess was guilt was getting the best of him.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. Maybe my knees would help keep my heart from beating so forcefully. I hated that even the thought of Jenner seemed to cripple me. My exhaustion was starting to get the best of me, and though my old bed was calling me, I was pretty comfortable right where I was. Lying there, the only thing on my mind was Jenner. His touch. His smell. His taste. I missed him so much. I was an emotional wreck…tears invaded again.

***

The key turning in the lock brought me upright. Sunlight barreled in through every window. Ethan burst through the door along with a blast of frigid air. His angry eyes narrowed and his brows pulled together.

“What? Is it Pops?” I asked, panic shooting through me.

“No. This Jenner…he’s a judge?”

I nodded, untangling myself from the throw and standing. How could one shot of whiskey make me feel like shit?

Ethan held out the newspaper. The Post. The headlines…oh God.

 

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Weber’s Son’s

Judicial Indiscretions

 

My jaw fell slack as I literally collapsed on the sofa.

“The article names you, miss.”

“Names me?” A sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed me. “How bad is it?”

Ethan strode over to me, yanking a chair out of the corner and sitting nearly knee to knee with me.

“It’s bad, Lucy.” He cleared his throat and read. “Blah blah blah…The Honorable Judge Jenner Weber carried on a romantic relationship with Ms. Lucy Edwards. Ms. Edwards, who is 9 years his junior, is fresh out of law school but not new to the judicial system. Ms. Edwards was the respondent in a child in need of care case out of Sullivan County. Ms. Edwards father is currently serving 13 years in the federal penitentiary for armed robbery. She has reportedly been terminated from the New York County District Attorney’s office and was unable to be reached for comment.”

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as Ethan read my pathetic life in a nutshell of less than a paragraph.

“Did Jenner comment?”

The creases formed in Ethan’s forehead could not be a good sign.

“His exact quote?” Ethan asked.

I nodded.

“This story is a complete fabrication,” Ethan read verbatim, glancing up at me.

Those words completely stole the breath from my body. Everything inside of me deflated. He could have said no comment. He could have not said anything. But he said that we were a lie. A fabrication. He and I were an untruth as far as he was concerned.

“Lucy?”

At the sound of Ethan’s voice, I remembered he was there. His eyes filled with pity. Ethan was as important to me as Hank. He’d been like an older brother growing up. He was actually my first kiss—my only kiss—in the pumpkin patch out back. Only one time had he ever made fun of me—he’d made me cry when he said my mother was crazy. Hank would have none of that and took a belt to Ethan. Later that night, we both cried together after Hank made him apologize. He had held me then and now he took me in his arms once again. This time his arms were thicker, his chest broader, but his embrace was just as comforting.

I thought about Jenner’s phone call yesterday and I couldn’t help but believe that his message was to let me know what had happened. Maybe he was trying to give me the heads up. Maybe he was going to admit to being a gutless coward. As I cried with my cheek pressed against Ethan’s chest, I wanted the inescapable hurt to roll away as freely as the tears. The pain seemed bound and determined to stick around, and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.