Chapter 6
A Stern Lecture and a Chance of Perspective
“I can walk, you know.”
Anani didn’t even look at her in response. Zandra tried again, “If you keep carrying me, I might start to think that you are reconsidering how you feel about me.”
“If I don’t carry you, there is a good chance that you will end up going back on another promise to me, and I don’t think that should be an option. Do you?” His eyes were stern as he looked down at her.
Zandra looked away, shame replacing her pathetic attempt at banter. She used to be so good at this stuff, but ever since Melzi, the witch seemed to have forgotten how to be charming, or even sarcastic.
“I’m sorry, Anani. I’ve managed to become a burden when you need me.”
“It’s alright for the moment. Just recover your strength so that you can make it through this. I need to fall apart for a little bit, and that really isn’t possible if you are wilting before my eyes.”
Zandra frowned at the description, not liking the way he made it sound like she had suddenly aged. Then she remembered her hands and her hair. Shit, shit, shit. The memories of the last two years had crashed in over her, and after that display on the beach, her time was a lot shorter.
She gave a firm push against his chest. “Put me down. I need to take care of something, and they aren’t going to want anyone to hear what I have to say outside of the association.”
The look he gave her was one of extreme entertainment. “While I am very pleased to see you are somewhat recovered from the events of the last 24 hours, your body is in no condition to do what you seem to think it can.”
“Put me down.” Her voice rose as she pushed harder, and that was when she noticed how old it sounded. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Trying to calm herself, she relaxed in his arms. “Alright, you win for the moment, but please, when we get there, I will need to talk to them alone.”
“Did you become a medic in the last 20 years?” He gave her a wry look as his pace quickened.
“No, I’ve mostly been myself since the last time I saw you.”
His sparkling eyes ran over her face as he calculated his own response. “And what about the last 5 years? Just how many of those did you act like yourself?”
“More than half of them.”
“You mean the first half of them because the last half you were too busy trying to deal with something well beyond your ken.”
“You sound like an old man when you talk like that.”
“I am an old man.”
“No, you are a young man, as anyone who can see you can tell.”
“More than 700 years, I am well past middle age.”
Zandra sighed, “And yet you have the youthful look that no human can achieve. Oh, how lucky you are not to be cursed with any human blood so that you will look like yourself forever. Every time I see you, I could swear you are bending time so that you are aging backwards.”
“If I could bend time, I can think of a lot of better things to do with it.”
“As can I.” Her words were so low that they were almost inaudible.
“Okay, here we are. Are you sure you can make it on your own?”
“Of course, I can. Do I look like an invalid to you?”
Anani looked down on her with something like pity before trying to smile at her. “If you need anything, just say my name. I will be right here for you, even if the medics decide to turn their backs on you.”
“You are a king among peasants, Anani.” She smiled at him, but her face felt weird as she did so. Had it always been so heavy?
He moved up the small steps to the front of the Medics Association outpost and gently put her down. “Remember. I will be right here.”
She gave a little laugh, and headed to the door. Her joints and body felt so much heavier than she remembered, almost as if the buggane attack had poisoned more than her blood. Trying to shake it off, she opened the door. Her eyes automatically ignored her hands as she entered the facility.
“Hello?” Her voice wavered a little, and she frowned. Clearing her throat, she said a little more forcefully, “Hello? Is anyone here?”
A young man entered the area from a room on the side. “May I help you?”
Zandra could tell from the look in his eye that he expected her to request something for herself. Annoyed, she began to fumble in her bag.
He stepped up to her, placing one hand on her elbow and another on her shoulder. “Why don’t you sit down? If you need a tonic for your joints or something for one of your grandchildren, I’m sure we can get you sorted out quickly.”
“Grandchildren!” Zandra shook him off of her. “Do I look like a grandmother to you?”
The look on the young man’s face showed that he did, in fact, think that she looked like a grandmother, but there was cleverness in his eyes that showed he knew what the right answer was. With a beaming smile, he apologized, “I am so sorry, of course you look more like a mother than a grandmother, but usually mothers aren’t able to come on their own. Not without their children.”
“Don’t patronize me. I already know what you were thinking.” Her mind had brushed up against his, and she had seen the way he thought of her, and her stomach had turned at the words that had floated through his head. “I’m not here for myself. I’m here for your damn Association. Here.” She pulled the letter from Ailey out of her bag and shoved it into his hands. “One of your medics figured out what was wrong and has written it up for the Association to disseminate as needed.”
The young man began to open the envelope. The hand that she had tried so hard to ignore immediately stretched out and covered his. “I don’t think so, boy. You certainly don’t qualify.” She pulled it back. “Go get one of your superiors. I need to talk to someone, and I’ll be damned if it is going to be a conversation with a kid who thinks he knows what the world is about.”
The young man frowned at her. “There is no one else here, ma’am.”
“Then I will wait.”
He shook his head, “I mean that I am the only one at this post, ma’am. As one of the heads in my year, I was given my own outpost because of my ability to–”
“So help me, if you don’t go get the woman sitting upstairs right now, I will start screaming.” A small fire flashed in her eyes at the last words.
The young man jumped at the words and strange look in her eyes. Fearing that perhaps they were being attacked, he ran up to the medic who had arrived there the night before. As he dashed up the stairs, he wondered how the visitor had known when he had completely forgotten about her.
The medic who was there was only a few years older than he was, but she had an air of authority that he could only feign at achieving. Having never really spent time in the field, the young man had no idea how to achieve the same air of authority. Whenever one of his superiors tried to explain it, the young man had ended up tuning it out. The reason the Association had chosen people like him for the post that he held was not because they were particularly skilled, but because they could feign authority when it was needed. A good medic would get into the weeds trying to talk with people about their problem when what was needed was to send communication. A great medic would actually go solve the problem, leaving the outpost unmanned.
The senior medic listened to him over her bowl of soup, only half paying attention to what he said, until he mentioned Melzi. “Good lord, boy. You should have started with that.” She rose in one smooth motion and strode out the door. Taking the stairs two at a time, she quickly found the woman who had injured the pride of the messenger.
“I hear you have word of Melzi.”
Zandra nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind, I would prefer to talk somewhere private.” Her eyes darted around the place and to the open door. The Medics Association never closed the front door to an outpost, and that meant anyone could listen. This was meant as a way of encouraging people to speak up, but it also made it difficult to discuss the deeper, more troubling problems.
The senior medic nodded, then turned to head up the stairs. With her foot on the bottom stair, she turned and looked at Zandra. “Will you be alright with the stairs?”
“Would you be alright with my foot up your ass?”
The senior medic looked shocked for a minute, then laughed and began her ascent. The young man looked shocked as Zandra strode past him, standing at her full height, which was almost the same as his. Though it was difficult, she managed to make it up the stairs without too much cursing under her breath.
“I am Dakota,” the senior medic stretched out her hand.
“Zandra.” She shook the younger woman’s hand. “We don’t need any more pleasantries. Here.” She handed the letter over and waited for the woman to finish reading it.
About halfway through, the medic sat down and covered her mouth with her hand. “How did she figure this out?”
“She drank high concentrations of the black sludge along the walls, confirming her hypothesis. I helped her where I could, but I’m afraid my skills are not those of a medic.”
Dakota looked down at the letter, then up at the woman. “She describes a witch who helped her, and said that the witch would be delivering the letter. I am to compensate her accordingly.”
Offended, Zandra scowled, “Do I look like I need any compensation?”
The younger woman leaned back. “You don’t look quite the way she described you.”
“Yeah, well, time hasn’t been kind to me. Some day you will wake up and look in the mirror and be rather mortified, too. When that happens, I hope some younger person is there to rub it in your face.” Zandra pursed her lips at the words coming out of her mouth. She was usually so friendly and outgoing, keeping those thoughts internalized. What the hell was happening to her?
The woman raised an eyebrow, but stopped pressing the issue. Instead, she looked over the letter again. “Is there anything else you can tell me about this?”
Zandra looked to the door, then moved over to the table. “This is not the first time that a city has been under this plague, as I am quite certain you know. Though the cities and towns have long been deserted, following Ailey’s recommendations, the areas can be cleansed and balance restored.”
“Such as?”
Zandra gave her a look of annoyance. “I feel certain everyone has heard of Banton and Lekkining.”
The woman looked surprised. “They have been abandoned for decades. Do you really think this is what caused the problems?”
“I saw both Ailey’s and Ester’s notes. They both suspected Sluagh contamination, but there was no justification for going there to test the cities since they were deserted. Melzi was the first chance either of them had, and if you are smart, I think you will make sure the Association starts to find a way to fix things before they get worse.”
“What do you mean?” The woman leaned forward and folded her hands on the table in front of her.
“In the last millennia, there have been maybe 25 cities entirely wiped out by plague. Two were in the last hundred years. And if Ailey hadn’t finally figured it out, there would have been a third. At what point do you think that it is a coincidence that such a large percentage of cities have been so badly contaminated within such a short period of time? There is something worse going on, and it seems to me like the Medics Association is in the best position to actually do something to stop the next outbreak.”
The woman leaned back, her head nodding in agreement. “I’m not sure what has happened to you. Ailey said that you were a pleasure to have around, very enthusiastic and with seemingly unending energy.”
“This is the result of removing the pain of the dying for two years. Take a good look, and the next time you encounter a witch or wizard, you will remember to treat them better.”
“Why would anyone treat a–”
“Because everyone does. You are a full-blooded human, so you know exactly what I am talking about. The only reason you are talking to me now is because Ailey told you about me. You were hoping that I would be the same smiley personality that she described, but now you are reconsidering, even as I talk about the truth, just how to get rid of me before I hex you.” Zandra held a finger up and the woman flinched a little. “That is called dumb ignorance. Do you have any idea how many witches and wizards you have met over the years?” She didn’t give the woman time to respond. “Of course not, because we know that we have to hide who we are to pass through society. We are dangerous and terrifying. No person in their right mind would willingly befriend a witch or wizard. And then you learn that so-and-so is one, and you know that person is the exception. Well, sweetie, that is about as accurate as saying all humans are saints or morons. Although most of us humanoids would agree that you do tend to morons. Ester was the first human in over 45 years to challenge my ideas about humans, and Ailey was the first I’ve ever met who shattered them. For the last few days, I felt a great sense of respect for medics. Don’t taint it by acting like a normal human.” She rose to her feet. “A week ago, I was holding back two years’ worth of pain that I accumulated by taking it away from the dying. Because I did that, I will now live only slightly longer than a wealthy human. You guys give your lives in the name of saving others, but you get accolades and praise from all sides. You are immune from the follies of most humanoids because your skills are considered too valuable. When we come along, we can’t even let people know what we are for fear that we will be harmed for being born with magic. Yet we still help. We still bleed. And we still die. The thanks we get is mild mistrust at best, and outright hostility at worst. Is it any wonder why witches and wizards have become so hostile in return?”
The medic rose. “How dare you come in here and lecture me about what it is your kind–”
“Exactly. I listened to Ailey give a similar speech against someone very much of your mindset, and it was met with quiet anger. When one of my kind points it out, you see it as a sign that you need to stick up for humans everywhere. If you truly want to show that you are different, shut your damn mouth and open your goddamn ears. We will not continue to live as we have, and gods help you if you humans don’t learn to respect us and treat us better.”
“Are you threatening me?” The woman was glaring at her.
“It’s a history lesson, idiot. Every war ever waged against humanity has nearly annihilated you, but every time, there are some of us who take pity and spare you. You know the signs of infection and rot. Learn how to see it in your society because not all humanoids are as kindly disposed to humans as I’ve been. More humanoids died in Melzi than humans. Do you know why? Because humans are more corrupt than other beings. The Sluagh contagion takes longer to harm the humans than any other creature.”
“You have no proof. You are only–”
Zandra slammed a hand down on the table. “I can feel the way they all died. I can still sense their lives ebbing away, and I can guarantee you that humans are the biggest benefactors of these kinds of plagues. Your numbers are less affected, while the rest of us die. There is something going on that is trying to push the species into a war by creating the kind of discord and mistrust that humans seem to breed into their children. If you don't start to recognize your own biases now, there will be nothing left for you to save later.”
The medic clenched her teeth trying to find the words to argue with the witch, but her mind was already reeling from the implications of what it would mean if it were to get out about the Sluagh. Finally, she managed, “You know if you were to talk about what happened in Melzi–”
“Humanoids would assume that the humans had acted and begun to cleanse their cities. Three cities in 100 years is no coincidence. I know that humans are not behind it, but I doubt that you would have so many willing listeners if things do not change. I am not about to speak of what happened because I do not want war. But I cannot sit by and watch the folly any longer. My time is–”
“That is enough, Zandra.” Both heads turned. Anani stood in the doorway, his expression calm, even though his tone was firm. “You are only hurting yourself.”
“And who are you?” The medic leaned over the table, her eyes narrowed.
“Not someone that you want to mess with because I have long loved humans, despite all of your faults. Yet even I cannot argue with what Zandra has said. There is something going on, and it is something that we will need to investigate. But humans will have to change because there are an increasing number of humanoids who grow tired of places like Antakya and Siccenna. It may not be all humans who are the problem, but there are too many who are complacent. You barter and trade with them, showing humanoids that you are willing to sacrifice them for wealth. You go into the areas to cure and heal, knowing that they recently beat and killed humanoids. If you truly believe that you are above such cruelty, then you need to show it by forcing them to change. There is much you can do to show that humans are not all the same.”
Dakota pursed her lips. “Do you think that I believe all witches and wizards are the same?”
“The fact that you could not listen to Zandra without the approval of Ailey is proof enough. Without her words, would you have been open to anything that Zandra had to say, or would you have required proof first?”
Dakota opened her mouth a couple of times trying to respond. Then she hung her head. “To my shame, I would not have listened.”
“How many times have you turned away the help of magic because you feared the motive behind the offer?”
Dakota tried to look at Anani, but she found it impossible to hold his gaze. “How can we trust magic without knowing what could go wrong?”
“How can you trust a new potion? Or a new method of treatment? According to your logic, nothing would ever advance. By overlooking the generosity of those honestly seeking to help, you are condemning people to death. Yes, there are witches, wizards, and humanoids whose motives are selfish, but that is also true of humans. That boy downstairs, for example.”
Dakota groaned and rolled her eyes. “He’s destined for a desk job.”
“And yet, he is not turned away because he is human. Will that still be the case if I were to tell you that he is actually only three-fourths human? The fact that his maternal grandfather was actually an incubus might make you look at him in a different light.”
She gave him a funny look. “That is slander. If he were to ever hear it.” Dakota threw the last sentence in because personally she felt that it probably was true, and she liked having something to show that he was lesser than he claimed to be.
“He’s not less than you.” Zandra was glaring at her. “And it isn’t the incubus part of him that makes him such an arrogant brat. It’s the human in him that feels the need to prove himself in a field where too many people will look down on him if they knew what he was. That is your starting point, the easy indicator that you are not as enlightened as you think you are.” Zandra wobbled a little as she tried to move away from the table.
Dakota looked at the witch and began to see the situation differently. Zandra had come to the Medics Association of her own volition, asking nothing for herself. Instead, she had started in on a lengthy lecture that had shaken the foundations of everything that Dakota had believed about herself. “I am so sorry.” Her brow knitted together. “I hadn’t even–”
A hand patted her on the shoulder. She hadn’t even noticed Anani near her. As he spoke, there was no judgment in his voice. “No one realizes their own flaws because it is much easier to spot the problem in others.” His eyes turned to Zandra. “It is always easier to blame someone else who has made mistakes than to admit your own shortcomings. Realizing your mistakes is what will make you better. And remember, there is always something you need to change about yourself, so never become complacent.”
Dakota nodded and sat down in front of her cold soup. When she looked up to say something, the room was empty.