Erin

The closer I get to the Denver hospital I’m driving to, the more worried I get.

Matias has been on my mind constantly since leaving the bunker. I know he’s in good hands now, but he was so sick when we were rescued. I need to see him with my own eyes.

This early-morning solo road trip was a welcome break from the nonstop action of the past few days. My family swarms around me, still marveling that I’m alive. They all want to feed me and ask questions about the bunker and the people I was stranded there with—particularly Derek.

Derek sparks the most curiosity because he’s a famous pro athlete, I know that. But every time I talk about him, I feel like my flushed cheeks must be giving me away. I can’t think of Derek without remembering how it felt to have his warm body wrapped around me, or the way his mouth felt on my skin.

I miss him. I’d gotten used to our little underground world, and having so many people around now is overwhelming. It’s good to be near my family, but there’s always some curious neighbor or family friend knocking on the door to come visit, and their phones have all been ringing steadily.

I didn’t get my phone back when we were rescued. I never knew where Kenna put it before we went into the bunker, and I didn’t care enough to wait around and find out. Not many people have my number, anyway. I’ll just get a new phone when I can.

From the look of things, though, that may be a while. There have been half a dozen news vans parked at the end of the long driveway to Morrison Farms since I got home three days ago. Uncle Cal let them all know anyone who trespasses will have the police called on them, so they’re staying off the property.

The couple times I’ve left the farm, reporters and cameramen have chased my vehicle in their vans. I went to dinner with my family at a local diner and had questions thrown at me the entire walk from the car to the diner and back. Cameras were flashing, and reporters were blocking my path. I couldn’t wait to get back home.

The other time I left was to go to the local sheriff’s department for questioning. Again, a caravan of reporters followed me.

I wouldn’t have left the property again anytime soon, but I have to see Matias. So, early this morning, my cousin Logan helped me leave the farm undetected by the reporters. I curled up on the floor of the passenger side of his truck, and once we were out of sight, he had me drop him off at his house and take his truck for the day.

I was released from the hospital right away, but Matias was admitted. Since I don’t know how to reach anyone, I’ve had no information about how he’s doing. It’s making me crazy.

When I reach the hospital and have to drive into an underground parking deck, I only pause for a second before doing it. The old Erin would have turned around and found another, aboveground parking place, no matter how far away I had to go to do it.

I thought about the old Erin as I drove and looked out at the horizon this morning just after sunrise, and as I admired the mountain view in the distance. Before, I would have longed to be free of the city traffic and the hustle of everyday life, wishing instead to hike into the wilderness for a solid week.

But now…I feel different. Not just different about that particular thing, but about many things. I’ve never had close friends. Trusting people has always been hard for me. My aunt, uncle, and cousins are the only people who have never let me down, and they’re the only people I’ve ever completely let my guard down around.

Until Derek.

With Derek, I laughed until I snorted, cried, and shared my deepest anxieties. He saw me—and liked me—in all my completely unshaven glory. No makeup, no sexy dresses and heels, no efforts to impress.

We walked miles around the bunker, talking about everything from politics to eighties music. That first day I walked down the steps into the bunker, not having any idea what was about to happen, I didn’t give Derek Heaton a second thought. I assumed he was an arrogant, playboy athlete.

As the days passed, though, I got to know him for who he really is. No football, no fame, no fancy million-dollar lodge. And I didn’t just like him—I was slowly drawn into him until it felt like we were one. He became the beginning and ending of every day for me. The one I went to when I needed to talk or cry or just lose myself in something more than the sadness for a little while.

That was a different world, though. Down there, I was one of only two women he could turn to. Now we’re back on the outside, and he’s a football star again. The media interest in me is nothing compared to what’s happening to him. News hosts spend hours speculating about where Derek is and how he ended up in a doomsday bunker.

I wonder where he is too, even though it doesn’t matter. Our lives are separate once again. Eventually, he’ll fade from my thoughts, even if I can’t imagine that happening now.

I park and get out of the truck, then pull my Rockies baseball cap down, hoping to keep a low profile here. News vans are also camped out at the hospital, but only because they’re hoping for news on Matias. No one has been given the full story on what’s going on with him, and reporters are speculating about whether he was injured while in the bunker.

The hospital is huge. It takes me a while to find an information desk, and when I do, the woman sitting behind it glares at me over the rim of her glasses.

“No information and no visitors allowed,” she says as soon as I say Matias’s name. “If you’re a reporter, you’ll have to call our communications manager for a condition report.”

“But I’m—”

She puts up a hand. “I can’t help you.”

I turn around and head for an empty bench, sitting down. Logan loaned me his cell phone in case I needed it for anything, and I take it out and key in the passcode: 6969. He’s a real comedian, that one.

With a quick internet search, I find the webpage for the sheriff’s department heading up the investigation into the explosion and our captivity. There are two detectives on the case, and one of them told me I can reach out anytime, even if it doesn’t seem like something they can help with.

“Hi, I’m calling for Detective Harris,” I say to the voice that answers.

“Hold, please.”

After a few seconds, he picks up, saying, “Ryan Harris.”

“Hi, Detective Harris, it’s Erin Morrison. From the bunker?”

“Erin, hey. It’s Ryan, remember?”

“Ryan, right.”

There’s an awkward pause before he says, “It’s good to hear from you.”

“I was actually wondering… I mean, you said to call if anything came up, even if it didn’t seem like something you could help with…”

“Sure, what is it?”

I sigh softly. “I’m at the hospital in Denver. I want to see Matias, but I can’t get past the information desk. The lady thinks I’m a reporter.”

Ryan laughs softly. “Gotcha. Yeah, let me make a call. Can I reach you right back at this number?”

“Yes. It’s my cousin’s phone, because I never got mine back.”

“Oh. I actually have a couple phones we recovered from the scene. Do you want to come by sometime and see if one of them is yours?”

“That would be great, yes. Thanks.”

“Okay. Just sit tight, and I’ll call you right back, okay?”

“Sure. Thanks.”

I watch people walking through the bright, massive lobby from beneath the brim of my hat. There’s a couple holding hands, and it makes me think of the way Derek would reach for my hand sometimes when we were walking on the track.

The same hands that pressed me against the bedroom wall and coaxed me into coming so hard I had to bury my face against his shoulder to muffle the cries of pleasure were the ones that wiped away my tears. Derek’s hands are big, with prominent veins and dark hair near his wrists.

Just thinking about his hands is making my heart pound and my body warm up.

My phone rings, and I’m jolted back to reality.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Ryan. You’re all set. Go up to the eighth floor and look for the security guard by the door once you get off the elevator. He’s got your name, and he’ll tell you where to go.”

I’m taken aback. “Wow. That was fast.”

“That was an easy one. Anything else I can help with?”

“No, I think that’s it. Thank you.”

“No problem.” There’s a pause. “Hey, I was thinking… Why don’t I come pick you up this evening and take you out for dinner? I can bring the phones with me, and you can see if one of them is yours.”

“Oh.” Now, I’m really taken aback. Is he asking me out or just being nice?

“It’ll be painless, I promise,” he says warmly.

“It’s not that, it’s just…there are reporters waiting for me to leave so they can follow me. I had to sneak out this morning.”

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll figure something out. Pick you up at six?”

“Okay,” I say, mostly because I want my phone back. “Just dinner?”

“Just dinner.” There’s a smile in his tone. “See you then, Erin.”

“See you then.”

Ryan seems like a cute, nice guy, but I’m not up for dating yet. Not so soon. The memories of Derek are still so close. I still wake up at night and reach over in bed, expecting to find him there.

Maybe this dinner will help get my mind off Derek. Because when the media frenzy dies down, he’s going back to his old life. His real life. He’ll have more than two women to choose from then, and his mind will be a million miles from what happened between us in the bunker.

I swallow hard, tuck Logan’s phone back into my bag, and walk toward the elevator.

In plain, dark skinny jeans and a gray, long-sleeve T-shirt, I’m hoping I look completely inconspicuous. The eighth-floor security guard just gives me a nod and a smile when I give him my name, and then he points me toward the entrance to the ICU.

My heart sinks. Matias is in intensive care. I’m not surprised, but I was harboring a secret hope that the doctors would know how to make him better right away.

When I ask to see Matias at the desk, a nurse comes over and introduces herself.

“I’m Lorelei,” she says, grinning. “Matias’s nurse today.”

She’s a pretty redhead, and I’m sure Matias is thrilled to have her seeing to his care instead of Derek, Kenna, and me.

“Can I see him?” I ask.

She comes out from around the desk and leads me to an open spot near a wall.

“He’s sleeping. I know he’d love to see you, but his family has been in and out a lot these past few days, and the doctor said no more visitors for a day or two. We’re trying to get him strong enough to get dialysis.”

My heart sinks but then jumps with hope. “That’s good, right? Dialysis?”

Lorelei nods. “It’s a good step. I can discuss his case with you because you’re on the list of people he said he wants to have open access to what’s going on with him.”

My eyes flood with tears. “He said that?”

She smiles. “I feel like I already know you. And Derek too. You guys are all he talks about.”

“I’m so happy he’s well enough to talk.” I blink, and the tears fall onto my cheeks.

“He’s improving. Our goal is to get him going on dialysis and hopefully get him strong enough for a transplant.”

“That would be—” My throat tightens with emotion. “God, I hope that happens.”

“I’d take you to meet his family, but they’re all in another part of the hospital being tested to see if they’re matches to donate a kidney.”

“His family is here?”

She nods. “Most of them don’t speak English, but we have nurses who translate. They’re all very nice.”

“I’m not surprised. They raised a really nice boy.”

“I think they’re staying at the Four Seasons. I can get the phone number to their room if you want it?”

“The Four Seasons?” I lower my brows in confusion, because from everything Matias has told me about his family, they’re unassuming people who don’t spend unnecessarily.

“Apparently Derek Heaton is putting them up,” Lorelei confides. “And he’s paying all of Matias’s bills too. My crush on him is getting unmanageably large.”

She laughs, and I feel a surge of jealousy. Why, I have no idea. I’m sure many women lust after Derek.

“Well, that’s…it’s great,” I say, trying to force images of Derek from my mind.

Derek sweaty after a run.

Derek bare-chested and wet after a shower.

Derek telling me he’s going to make me come three times before I can even touch him.

“I’ll tell him you came by,” Lorelei says. “He’ll be so sorry he couldn’t see you.”

I clear my throat, trying to focus on where I am and why I’m here.

“Is there any way I could just…see him?” I ask. “Like through the window or something?”

Lorelei considers. “Sure, we can do that.” She turns. “Follow me.”

She leads me to another corridor, through another door, and then stops outside a room. She goes inside and moves the curtain aside from the glass wall facing the hallway.

Matias is asleep in a hospital bed with machines and tubes hooked up to him. His color is better than it was the last time I saw him. I watch his chest rise up and down, a habit I formed in the bunker.

I can’t help crying some more. I thought we’d lose him. Not just us, but the world. Matias is a bright, happy soul with so much to offer. And now there’s a chance he’ll get to do all the things he thought he’d never get to do.

Lorelei walks out of the room and pulls the door closed. I wipe my eyes and smile at her.

“Thank you,” I say. “That really meant a lot to me.”

“No problem.”

“Hey, one more thing…”

“Sure.”

“I want to be tested too. To see if I’m a match to give Matias a kidney.”