Chapter Thirty-Five

James

 

Pedro and Kyle put in a hard day’s work on the ranch, and I hated to tell them it would be their last, at least for a while. I’d spent my morning at the bank, first closing on the ugly house, and then drawing out checks for each of them, their yearly bonus checks, slightly inflated, and severance packages large enough to tide them over several months while they looked for new work.

“I wanted to say thank you,” I smiled as I handed each a white envelope.

Kyle opened his first, a quick hoot and then a pause of silence as it sank in what it meant. Pedro peeked inside his envelope without making a sound. His eyes lifted to mine, filled with sadness, and his bottom lip started to quiver. I couldn’t stand to watch a grown man cry, so I reached out and slapped him on the shoulder as I forced on my largest grin.

“It’s gonna be okay,” I insisted.

“So, this it?” Pedro questioned.

I nodded, my grin fading from my face fast.

“It’s only Thursday, just over a week since the court ruling,” Kyle gasped in disbelief.

“I know. It still may take a while for the place to sell. I looked up the price this morning, and it’s way over fair market value,” I admitted.

“Where you plan to go?” Pedro sulked.

“I bought a fixer-upper in town,” I sighed.

“Good,” Pedro cheered up a bit when he found out I wasn’t leaving town, at least not yet.

“So, that means you can still buy me a beer every so often,” I laughed.

“Sure, sure,” Pedro chanted.

“I need you to do one last thing for me before you call it quits; load up Queen and Gulliver and take them over to Jack Fuller’s place,” I instructed.

The men nodded, and then extended their hands in my direction at the same time. I grabbed them both, clasping my hands around theirs, shaking them together as they both laughed.

That was that. Nothing left to do except finish packing my belongings, and to leave. I breathed in the fresh country air, knowing that it wouldn’t be the same on the crowded street where I just bought a house. Damn, I would miss that mixture of manure, straw and alfalfa in the air.

My phone rang, pulling me away from the guys as they headed into the barn. I couldn’t bear to look Queen in eyes as they loaded her, so I was glad to be distracted.

“This is James,” I answered, listening to silence through the speaker.

“Hello?” I sighed.

“James, this is Eliza,” a soft voice responded.

I hesitated, clearing my throat before I spoke. I’d always thought she was the good one, at least from the others. She was sweet, even though uninterested in the ranch, or having a relationship with her father. I knew her siblings were the force that kept her away, fearful of going against what they believed, or what they wanted. That was what hurt old Jasper the most, knowing that he had a chance at being her father, if not for the other two who refused to allow her to call, visit, or even smile in his direction when they were around.

“What can I do for you, Eliza?” I choked out.

“I wanted to call you, and to tell you how sorry I am about everything, about dad,” she consoled.

I unraveled at her voice, her kindness, and the mention of her dad. I hadn’t heard her call him ‘dad’ since she was a little girl. As the kids grew older, and John and Jill soured by their mother’s bitterness, they called him Martin, no longer even addressed with his rightful title.

“Thank you, Eliza. I know it wasn’t your doing,” I mumbled.

My hand quickly swiped the tear that rolled from the corner of my eye, knocking it to my boot. It left a clean spot in the dust near my toe.

“I wanted to be the one to call you, so Jill or John wouldn’t have the chance to gloat,” she sighed.

“Gloat?” I questioned, wondering what in the hell else they could rub in my face.

“The ranch sold this morning,” Eliza confirmed.

An ache in my chest sharpened like a knife stabbing me in the heart. I sat down on the steps of the porch, watching Queen and Gulliver being guided into the horse trailer connected to Pedro’s old pickup. It was suddenly real, all of it. I wasn’t going to be coming back here, ever again. I was moving to the ugly house in town, where I knew I’d be miserable, and Queen and Gulliver would be stabled away from me, where I could visit once or twice a day at best. I’d lost. I’d lost everything, even Evelyn.

Why had I been so stupid? I needed her so badly, to hold, to make me believe everything would be okay, but I’d blown it. I didn’t dare call on her now asking for comfort, for anything. Fuck!

“I’m sorry, James,” Eliza whispered.

“That was fast,” I shook off the feeling of doom looming over me and put on a strong front.

“Yes. The offer was low, but John insisted Jill take it,” Eliza explained.

I chuckled angrily, knowing exactly why John wanted to jump on the first offer.

“Imagine that,” I growled.

“The new owner plans to show up next week, as soon as all the paperwork is complete. I know legally, you don’t have to leave for almost three more weeks, but I wanted to warn you, in case you wanted to leave sooner,” she explained.

“It’s fine. I was packing now anyways. I’ll be out; you can tell the new owner not to worry,” I growled.

“I understand,” she sighed.

“Well, I can’t say I don’t hope they get hit by a bus on their way to the bank,” I sneered.

Eliza giggled, causing me to laugh into the phone.

“I wish you well, James,” Eliza concluded our call abruptly, leaving me to sort out my pain alone.

I waved to Pedro as I walked towards his truck. Queen was snorting, a deep snort that she made when she was irritated.

“The place is sold,” I informed them, and then gave them all the details Eliza had given me.

I didn’t know who bought the place, but being so quick, I feared it was a developer, someone out of town. I assured Pedro and Kyle that I would keep in touch, and rubbed my hand across Queen’s snout to calm her before they took off.

Watching the trailer roll down the lane choked me up, leaving me a damn mess, snot and tears all mixed and uncontrollable. Dammit!

In the barn, I checked on the new calf, looked in on the one that was a bit older, and then stood in the center of the barn, staring at the empty stalls where Queen and Gulliver had been just moments earlier. It was surreal, like a bad dream that I should wake up from any minute, Evelyn snuggled in my arms, her sweet perfume drifting under my nose, greeting me as I pulled her into my chest. But, it wasn’t a bad dream, it was real.

All the animals were watered and fed, and Pedro and Kyle were to check in on them every morning until the new owner arrived. I couldn’t help but wonder what would become of the place. The freshly painted fence, the sign that proudly displayed JJ Ranch, all would be gone soon, I was certain.

I packed my belongings, there wasn’t much, and loaded the boxes into the truck. In the office, I stared out the window to the sky that started to darken with clouds and a setting sun. Even on a dreary night, it was beautiful.

Everything in the house was neatly organized for the new owner. The fridge was emptied, most of the contents tossed out, only bringing what I could to the new house since it had a small fridge with very little freezer space. Pedro and Kyle split the meat I’d stored from the last slaughter, leaving me a stack of nice steaks. I carried the grill to the truck, the coffee maker, and boxed up some of the better dishes and cookware that I thought I might be able to use.

As I packed, I started to fume. This was my home, my fuckin’ home, and some fancy suit was gonna come in here and rip it to shreds. What did it matter that I took a few things that I needed, it wasn’t like they were gonna need any of it when the bulldozer came through?

All of Martin’s personal items, papers, pictures, and documents were shoved into a box and carried to the truck, pushed into the bed with the rest of the stuff. I sucked on my bottom lip as I looked at my life, and part of Martin’s, reduced to fit into the bed of my pickup truck.

A twelve-pack of bottled beer in hand, I locked up, sat on the porch, and twisted the cap from one, bringing it to my lips as I watched the sun settle into the earth. It was a view like no other, and one that I’d never see again.

One last goodbye to the ranch and I slid the remaining eleven bottles of beer in the truck seat beside me, pulled out, and watched the JJ Ranch sign disappear from my rearview mirror.

The drive into town brought on a feeling of sadness similar to the one I felt when old man Jasper passed. It was loneliness, something that he’d protected me from as a young boy, but now couldn’t as a man.

I pulled up in front of my new house, unloaded everything inside, stashing the beer in the fridge as I unloaded the steaks and few food items I’d bothered to take from the ranch. Once everything was inside, I grabbed a beer and moved to the front porch.

A dog barked somewhere close, a clank of what sounded like metal garbage cans being knocked over, a screeching cat, a train horn sounding, and a baby, crying in the distance. The noises were foreign to me, grating on my frazzled nerves. The stars in the sky, what few I could see of them, were dimmed by the lights in the town. This wasn’t home. This wasn’t where I wanted to be. But here I was.