Chapter Thirty-Seven

James

 

I couldn’t look at her. Why would she do that for me? I didn’t deserve anything from her after the way I’d run away, sticking my head in the sand like a dumbass.

“I wished you hadn’t done that,” I groaned.

“Do you want me to put it back on the market?” she snapped.

“Can you back out of the deal?” I asked.

“No. I paid cash, and the bank already has the certified check made out and ready to send,” she mumbled.

“I didn’t ask you to do that; you shouldn’t have done that,” I sighed, finally looking up at her.

The palms of her hands rubbed up and down her outer thighs; her eyes flickered as they unsuccessfully tried to fight back tears. She stood there, stubborn and shaken, but not backing down from the fight. Her nostrils flares as her fingers curled into her hands until forming a fist. She was a firecracker. Something about her rage aroused me, releasing some steam from my anger. I was still pissed, but more at myself than at her. She was just trying to help, and Axel told me she had plenty of money, but it wasn’t right for her to bail me out, to rescue me like a kitten stuck in a tree. Fuck, this was why I stayed away. I have nothing to offer her, a strong, independent woman with the nicest set of tits I’d ever laid eyes on, and I’d seen plenty of tits, from all over. Evelyn’s were the best.

I’d figure out a way to handle this, to pay her back every cent she spent on the ranch, and for her lawyer fees. The last thing I was going to be, was her charity case.

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” I repeated softly.

“I didn’t ask to fall in love with such a proud, pig-headed man, but here I am,” she howled in a rage, stopping abruptly, her cheeks bright red, eyes wide, and her bottom lip trembling.

I stood from the couch, walked towards her slowly as she began to visibly shake.

“What did you say?” I whispered once close.

“I said I love you. That’s why I did it. The thought of you leaving, of losing your home, I would’ve paid three times as much as they asked,” Evelyn confirmed.

My face ached as it stretched into a wide smile. My heart beat into my chest like a tornado into the side of a barn. Our bodies were so close I could feel the heat coming from her shallow breath, almost taste the sweetness of her lips.

I reached around her small frame, gripping her tightly as I lifted her from where she stood, pressing her hard into my chest and bringing her mouth closer to mine.

“I love you too,” I whispered.

Evelyn exhaled as tears filled her bright green eyes. Our mouths pushed together passionately, desperate for one another as she trembled in my arms. I could taste the sweet saltiness of her tears as her body shook wildly in my arms. I didn’t let go, not for what seemed like a while. The world stood still, and then disappeared as only Evelyn and me remained, kissing, the sounds of my whispering “I’m sorry” over and over, and of Evelyn’s adorable soft noises of satisfaction and contentment.

We broke apart, and the world started to fade back into focus: the ugly couch, the dirty carpet, and the pile of beer cans in every corner. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and most of all, sorry, for it all.

“I’m sorry I shut you out after court,” I spoke softly as I wiped a lone tear from Evelyn’s rose-colored cheek.

Her lips curled into a smile, something I feared I’d never see again, at least not directed at me. I couldn’t help but smile myself; my heart filled with so much happiness that it overflowed.

“I would’ve been there for you, maybe made things easier,” she replied.

“I wanted you there for me, I just didn’t want you there for you,” I tried to explain.

She looked confused, and I didn’t blame her. I wasn’t any good at discussing my feelings; it wasn’t something I’d ever really done before. At home, before I met old man Jasper, my dad only had one emotion, and that was anger. Old man Jasper was rough around the edges with a hard exterior, but his heart was kind and genuine, but feelings weren’t something he liked to discuss. It was a slap on the back when he was proud, a hand squeezing a shoulder when consoling, and plenty of hours spent teaching what he knew to show he cared. In the SEALs, we didn’t talk about our feelings, but we didn’t have to. Living so closely with the same guys for so long, you catch on to their behaviors, their body language, and just know when somethings wrong. You get a beer, slap them on the back, kick them in the ass, something to get their head back on straight, but you don’t talk.

“I’m not sure I follow,” Evelyn finally responded.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I felt it would be selfish for me to have you, when I had nothing to offer you,” I admitted.

“Wow,” she laughed.

Now I was confused. I stepped back, eyeing her up and down as I tried to figure out what she found so funny about me sharing my true feelings.

“You have some ego, don’t you?” she continued with laughter.

I think I was offended, no, I know I was.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I growled.

“Why do you have to have something to offer me other than your love?” she questioned, her eyes narrowing on mine.

“I’m the man,” I staggered.

Evelyn howled, her laughter filling the small room where we stood. I didn’t like that other people were so close, and that she was being so loud. It would add to the dog bark, the metal cans rattling, the cat’s screeching, the train sounding its horn, and the baby crying. Neighborhood noises. I didn’t care for it at all.

Fuck, even mad at her, even when she offends me, I can’t find her anything but beautiful.

I joined in the laughter, but only briefly before shaking my head and raising an eyebrow in her direction to show my confusion and disapproval of her mocking.

“Are you done?” I chuckled as Evelyn pulled herself together.

She slid her arms through mine, placed her head on my chest, and let out a sweet sigh. I could listen to her sweet noises forever.

“You have much more to offer than you realize. I never wanted you for your ranch. My grandmother left me more money than I’d ever spend, and what I need from you, besides your love, is for you to never shut me out of your life again,” Evelyn soothed.

I lifted her face to mine with a thumb under her chin. I lowered to her, kissing her gently. As I released, our eyes connected, there was something electric about the way we spoke without saying a word.

“You got it,” I promised.

“Can we go back to the ranch now?” she smirked.

I laughed, looking around the dump I’d spent a good portion of my savings on, and wanted nothing more than to leave.

“Well, I never had a chance to unpack, so let me load up, and I’ll meet you there,” I smiled.

“I’ll stop and get us dinner,” she offered.

My stomach grumbled at the mention of food. I nodded, reaching into my pocket for my wallet. As I handed her a fifty, she started to refuse, but quickly bit her bottom lip into her mouth and accepted.

“So, what do I do with this place now?” I huffed.

“It would make a great investment as a rental once it was fixed up; maybe that’s something Pedro and Kyle could help you with,” she suggested.

I pulled her in close, squeezing her into my chest.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I sighed.

That wasn’t exactly true. I knew that without her, I would be sitting in this ugly house, not heading back to the ranch, my home. I would be lonely, heartbroken, and most likely miserable, at least until I grew accustomed to the idea of being without her.