His hair had dried in an amusing swirl, sticking up from the top of his head. His shirt was bunched up on the left side. His socks drooped off the end of his toes. But it was his hands that made my heart gather itself into a tight fist in my chest. One of his hands was wrapped around the other, and both were tucked beneath his chin.
I knelt down beside him and watched his eyeballs twitch under the lids. Unable to resist, I held my hair back from my face and leaned over him, pressing my lips to his right eyelid. His eyes popped open and I rocked back on my heels, hoping he didn’t realize what woke him.
He propped himself up on his elbows. “Hey.” He looked around. “It got dark out.” His voice was scratchy from sleep. He rubbed a hand over his hair, grimacing when he felt the way it dried.
“Paul,” I said softly, trying to breathe through the frightful tenderness I felt toward him. I wanted nothing more than to take him in my arms and comb my fingers through his crazy hair. I could do it. He’d let me do it. I trembled from fear and restraint, and hardened my voice. “You’re soaking wet, you bonehead. You’re going to get sick.”
He smiled. “You do care about me.”
I rolled my eyes.
He sat up all the way. “I was hot, so I jumped in.”
“You’re always doing that—just jumping in without thinking it through.”
“It always seems to work out.”
“And you’re always falling asleep outside.”
“I like sleeping outside.” He lifted his arms and stretched toward the sky, yawning. “So what are you doing here?”
Water leeched from the ground and into the seat of my pants, but I didn’t care. “I’ve been all over the place looking for you.”
A grin pulled up the side of his mouth. “You have?”
“Don’t get all crazy on me.”
“I’m already crazy on you. Crazy about you, crazy for you—all the prepositions.”
I shook my head at him, and forced my face into a neutral expression. He needed no encouragement. “Yes, I was looking for you. I guess you make me feel like I have to walk all over town until I find you, soaking wet and asleep under a tree in the dark.”
He leaned closer to me. “You make me feel all stirred up. Like I need to outrun my own body. Like I can’t sit still.” My heart pounded in my chest as he scooted closer. He reached out and pulled both of my hands from my lap and cradled them in both of his. His hands were freezing cold. “Celia, I’m all in. Are you in this with me?” I watched his throat move as he swallowed.
“I’ve never had something like this before.” It was true. This was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
“Me neither.”
“Expectations make me nervous.”
“Only think about this minute, right now. In this minute, do you want to be with me?”
“In this minute?”
“Right now.”
I only had enough breath to whisper. “Yes.”
He leaned in close, and my head nearly floated off my neck, I was so sure he was going to kiss me. But instead he rested his forehead against mine. “No expectations,” he said. “We’ll just let it take us where it takes us.”
“What if it takes us nowhere?”
I felt his smile. “What if it takes us somewhere? We’ll see where it goes together.” He reached up with one hand, and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. His thumb caressed my cheek on the way down. I closed my eyes against the feelings building up in me.
“What if it ends at a rocky cliff?” I didn’t see how it could end any other way, and it had to end. Everything ended.
“If we come to a cliff, that’s just where we jump. Together. Into the water, and we swim to the other side, climb out, and keep going.”
“How are you always so sure of things?”
“The only thing I’m sure of is that expecting the worst doesn’t change anything, so I’d rather hope for the best.”
There was that word again. Hope. He smoothed his thumb over the back of my hand. I looked across the smooth water, the reflection of a few stars twinkling on the surface. My body loosened and unwound itself, and an insistent smile formed on my lips. I glanced at him and noticed the way he looked at me, a bemused smile on his face. “What?” I asked.
“I like seeing you so relaxed. And happy. With me. This just feels so normal.”
“Well, don’t expect it to last. It’s like Bigfoot. Sightings are exceedingly rare.”
He reached over and grabbed his boot and stuck his hand inside it. He pulled out his phone and held it up. “Let’s get some footage then, before Bigfoot goes back into hiding.”
I held out my hands to block my face as he snapped several pictures of me in a row. Laughing, I grabbed the phone from him and took a bunch of pictures of him in retaliation. He just grinned and let me, crazy hair and all. “It’s no fun if you like it,” I said.
“Here, I want some of both of us.”
I handed him the phone, and leaned back against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I didn’t mind him taking pictures so long as he was in the frame with me.
Finally he set the phone down on the grass. I fiddled with the straps on my sandals.
“So this was a pretty great first date,” he said.
“This is our first date?”
“Yeah. It was a sneak-date. That way we didn’t have time to worry about it or get nervous.”
I opened my mouth to remind him he didn’t make me nervous, but closed it when I realized I only ever wanted to tell him the truth. And being with him scared me in ways I never knew existed.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, trapping me against him. “Do you work tomorrow?”
“Only until four.”
“I’ll pick you up at six.”