Today was the day. It was Griffin's birthday. Well, tomorrow, it would be. Tonight, I was taking him away for two nights—two nights with just him and I.
We were going to do something that I knew he would love, and no, it was not fucking me even though I planned to do that a lot with him. I was taking him camping, and I really could not wait. I had even brought him a new fishing rod along with all the tools to go with it. It took me so long to choose rods. I called Dad who gave me some advice, but I was still confused. In the end, I put Dad on the phone to talk to the guy, and he told him what to sell me. It was all packed. I had everything loaded up in the boot of my car… marshmallows and all.
I spent the morning being all giddy and excited. I sucked at keeping secrets, and since I had a major secret I was yet to tell Griffin, I was desperately trying to keep myself busy. Riding his cock kept me distracted well enough to focus on something else. I did not even think.
Mack is gay.
That was a lie. Truthfully, I had thought about it a lot.
He and Samuel are apparently not just friends. Yes, and I was yet to get used to that.
Dinner was awkward. The poor boys were afraid, assuming I was going to out them both to Griffin’s father. I did not know how he would handle that, and I did not feel it was my place to tell Griffin. Mack needed to do that himself and have that talk. I just hoped it would be soon.
The boys were sleeping in the living room watching movies, and I made sure that Toby stayed out with them for the night too—in between them because, well, same rules apply as if it were a girl staying over with Toby. None of that hanky panky was happening in this house anytime soon.
I would only have a quick conversation with Mack about what I had walked in on, and although it was just kissing, I wanted to have more of a talk. It was something he promised we would do when we came back home. Hopefully, he would also decide to tell his father about this. The secret was eating me up, and I could not keep it for long… not something this big. Griffin would be so hurt if he knew that I had known and not confided in him. My point was that Mack trusted me with this, and I somewhat felt it bonded us closer together.
He chose me, not his mother.
“Your bags are packed. Please be good, and don't get in any trouble.” I knew Karen had a love of yelling at them while they stayed there.
Toby nodded, picking up his duffle bag and sighing. “I don't want to go over there.”
“Me either. Can't we stay here with you?” Mack asked. “We will be good.”
“Boys, I'd love that, but your mum wants you both over there.”
“What's wrong?” Griffin came inside. “Your mother is out there waiting, and you know how she gets.”
Yeah, we all knew her ways. “They don't want to go,” I told him.
His eyes softened, and he walked over, pulling them both to him and hugging each of them with one hand. “When you're back here, I promise we'll all go do something… just the four of us. How's that sound?”
“Like what?” Toby asked, cocking his head to the side. He was a perfect likeness to his father as he did that.
“Something fun. This weekend. Just us.”
Just us. I liked that.
Kissing them both goodbye, I watched as they walked down and over to their mother’s house, slowly and unhappily. It broke my heart, but I guess we were not that far away from them. Only, I felt like shit for planning to go away for Griffin’s birthday without them. I did ask her if we could have them here, and she said no. She had plans, she said.
Turning to me, he slowly swept his tongue across his lower lip. “Kids are gone. Bed and undress?”
“Why go to bed, when you can have me right here?”
I squealed and giggled as Griffin charged at me, lifting me up by my thighs as he held the curve of my ass and pushed me over his shoulder. “I'll have you all over the house.”
“I have work, remember?” I said between laughter as he gave my ass a swift spank. “Oooh! Daddy… please hurt me since I've been such a naughty girl.”
“Ayla,” he chuckled, giving me another smack. “Kinky girl.”
I had tricked him into taking a shower with me before I left for work even though I was not really going anywhere. I wanted us to be clean before we took off to the camp site with no shower or power. We would really be roughing it, something Griffin once told me he loved to do when he was younger—camping without the worries of technology getting in the way. We would fish, talk, hang out, and drink. I could manage that.
“Can’t you stay here?” he asked, watching as I straightened my hair. Like I said, I was preparing for the days to come.
Glancing through the mirror at his reflection as he stood behind me, I nodded. “I'm sorry. I can't chuck a sickie now. It's too late. Hey, let me straighten your hair?”
He made a scoffing sound when I snapped the tongs in the air. “Dream on, baby.”
“Please, just a little part. It's long; what do you expect me to want to do with it?”
“Pull it when I'm fucking you.”
Rolling my eyes, I parted my hair to the side and began to iron it out. “I do that already.”
“Well, then nothing else needs to be done.”
“What if you cut it?” I suggested. “I haven't seen you with short hair before or a smooth face. I want to see it.”
Shaking his head, he ran his fingers through his long hair and then rubbed his beard, laughing. “It's taken me a long time to grow this out. Ten years, nearly.”
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes at him, snapping my tongs together once again. “I have to go. You going to wait up for me?”
“I'll be in bed waiting, my love.”
Oh, I could not wait for this surprise. I was so excited. Turning to face him, I slipped my arms around his neck and jumped up, wrapping my thighs around his waist. “I love you. Don't fall asleep on me, and maybe I'll just come home in a willing and very giving mood.”
“Mmm.” He raised his brows. “I'll have to stay up and keep ready for you.”
“You better.” I inhaled his scent and slowly began to kiss him. “I miss you already.”
“I miss you more, baby.” His mouth covered mine as I slid down his body and landed on my feet. “Would you like a lift?”
“It's okay. I'm getting a ride tonight. I'll meet her at the end of the street.” I smiled and kissed him once again. “I love you.”
It was freezing outside as I walked down to the end of the road. It was only a ten-minute walk but long enough for my legs in this weather. Pulling my phone out, I sent him a text to let him know that I was with my so-called friend who I worked with.
On the way to work now. God, I miss you.
His reply came in fast, almost instantly. Miss you more, sexy girl. Hurry home. I'm waiting.
I waited twenty more minutes before I began to make the walk back to the house. My hands were shoved into my pockets, and my stomach was swirling with butterflies at my first big surprise for him. It was dark, so hiding was not too hard. The lights were on at Karen's, and her music was thudding, but it was something I did not care about tonight.
She could party it up all she liked, but I was not going to be around to listen to it.
Walking inside the house, I crept down to the bedroom, finding it empty. All lights were off as I walked around. I even checked outside for him. Nothing. He was not there.
Oh, god. He knew. I sucked at keeping secrets, alright. “Griffin, very funny. You can come out now.” I called out with a slight laugh. My laughter stopped when I realised he was not here. There was no sign of him. He was not in the kitchen, living room, office, or bedrooms. Both bathrooms were empty, and it was silent outside.
His car was in the driveway, but where is he? My eyes went straight to the window where the loud music was coming from, and my heart began to beat faster. No way. He would not.
Bile rose in my throat as a wave of sickness washed over me. Nerves of doubt filled me as I flicked the living room light off and made my way to the front door, peeking out over to her side of her house as people came in and out of her front door.
There was no way Griffin would do that to me. He knew how I felt, and he promised me. I did not want to believe it. So I picked up my phone, and I dialled his number. He would answer me if I called, and if he were there, I would hear the music.
On the sixth ring, I hung up. He did not answer.
I kept scanning across the road, looking around, and could not see him… until I spotted him walking up the driveway. Relief filled me for a slight second as I quickly hid behind the door, peeking out the curtains and watching as he took the stairs. My smile dropped. They were not ours, but hers. He had a beer in his hand, laughing and lighting up a cigarette with Charlie.
I wanted to march over there and scream my lungs out at him. I wanted to hit him and make a scene, but I could not move. I was frozen to the spot, unable to move. Just staring at the man who lied to me made every possible emotion course through my body. Still, I watched him laughing away and talking with his friends. Karen was also there. She came out and joined them for a smoke, and he did nothing.
She looked happy—like she had won the fucking lottery.
I stayed in my spot until all of them disappeared inside. I found my feet and spun on my heels, down to the bedroom where I grabbed a suitcase and packed my things for real. He thought I was at work and would not be back for a few hours. I wondered how long he would stay over there with her for. All night? Would he come home? Would he get drunk and sleep with her? Oh, god! The thought just made my stomach churn.
Running to the bathroom, I fell to my knees and threw up until it hurt.
The sight of them all stuck in my mind killed me. It drove me insane.
Rinsing my mouth and going back to the bedroom, I pulled out my phone and dialled the person I knew I could count on to come and get me. I did not even hesitate.
After two hours of sitting here and spying through the blinds, which turned out was like front row seats at a movie theatre, I have had enough. Karen had her blinds wide open, and I could see them all inside, partying with drunk girls dancing around.
He was having the time of his life, so I sent him another text. I'm on the way home. Not feeling too good.
I wanted to see his reaction. I wanted to be here when he walks in and sees me.
He exited her door, downing another beer and laughing as he waved bye to his friends. I was so angry, I was pretty sure that I was going to lose my shit with him once he walks in. My bags were at the door, packed and ready to leave.
There was no denying it. I was losing myself here. I had given up things, and he gave nothing in return.
My heart thudded loudly as the door clicked open, and he stepped inside. He turned on the light and then finally, he looked up at me sitting on the couch with tears streaming down my cheeks. I had been crying most the time I packed and watched him enjoy himself over there.
“Ayla...”
“Hey…” I did not look at him. “Been out?”
“I can explain.”
“Go ahead. I'd love to know all about Karen's house. Is her bed comfy?” Sarcasm mixed with anger was laced in every word I spat out.
“It wasn't like that.”
Standing up, I shook my head. I did not give a shit anymore.
“I…” He stammered, at a loss for words. Then the lights clicked in his head. “No.”
“I'm done.” It was final. He broke my one fucking condition with him.
“No, Ayla.”
"Fuck you. I'm so fucking done with you and this bullshit."
We were using sex to push aside all our other problems, and it could not keep happening. We desperately needed to talk, but there was no longer anything to talk about. I had been spineless, and now, my backbone was back. I was not going to let him walk all over me again with his fake promises.
He was in front of me, holding me by the shoulders, as he tried keeping me close to him. “I didn't plan it. I swear.”
“Really? How long were you over there for?”
“Not long…”
Fucking liar.
“I never went to work tonight. I was planning on surprising you for your birthday tomorrow. My car is in the shed full of camping gear. I came back after half an hour. So how about you answer me with the fucking truth this time because you have been over there all night?” I yelled, every word growing louder. “How many times have you been over there?”
“Just this once.”
“I don't believe you.” I pushed him away. His touch was like a burn to my skin. “Don't touch me.”
“I'm sorry. Ayla.” He was running his hands through his hair, obviously stressing out. “I didn't plan to go there. Baby, I swear. Charlie and Brian… They pretty much showed up just after you texted me you were on your way to work, and then they wanted me to go over there. I said no, but fuck… you know how they get. They wanted to have a few drinks for my birthday tomorrow. Karen was throwing a party, and yes, I fucked up by going over.”
I listened, and he sounded as if he were telling the truth, but I did not care anymore. “It's too late. You were in her house. You were smoking and drinking with her. I saw it with my own eyes, Griffin. Did you fuck her too?”
Hell, I was losing my mind. Sitting here and stewing over everything for the past hours really did my head in.
“What? No!” He shot back, offended. “I would never cheat on you.” I stayed silent, no longer sure if I believed him. “It's not too late... Baby, please, let me fix this. I'll go get the guys. They'll tell you I barely spoke to her the whole time.”
“I don't give a shit anymore. I'm done.”
“Don't say that. I fucked up badly. I know.”
“No, you don't know! Christ! I screamed, wiping my eyes to see clearer.
He took a step away from me, and his eyes went to the large case by the door with a smaller bag. “What's that?” His eyes widened. “Ayla, please don't do this.”
“I told you!” I screamed until my throat hurt. Thanks for the music next door, they could not hear the fight we were having. “I told you, you step one foot inside her house, and it's over. For all I know you've been doing this every time I go to work. I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth anymore. I don't trust you anymore.”
Swallowing hard, his own eyes began to grow teary. “Sweetheart, don't end this. It was just one time, I swear on my life. I swear on everything, it was just tonight.”
“I gave up everything for you.” I sobbed. I could hardly believe it hurt this much. “I always chose you. I put you and your sons first all the time. I love them like my own, and you don't give a shit about that. You're just a selfish asshole who doesn't care about me.”
“I care. I care about you.”
“I wanted a ring…” I looked up, my voice a mere whisper.
His mouth formed a perfect O as he looked at me, speechless. No words he could say would change anything. Swallowing, he spoke back calmly. “You told me you didn't want that anymore.”
“I thought I could give it up, but I wanted a baby with you and have the chance to be a mother. You took it away, and I stupidly agreed because I was afraid of losing you. I wanted to marry you, but why stay with someone when we both want different things?”
“I wish you would have just told me this. You didn’t need to agree to what I wanted.”
Shaking my head, I could not help but be sarcastic. “And I wish you’d have grown a pair and told your ex to fuck off away from us, but that never happened either.”
His anger rose as he narrowed his eyes in on me. “What about Harvey? He's been trying to get in your panties for how fucking long? And you haven't told him to piss off.”
"He's never been a lover, and he's my friend. Yes, he may have feelings for me, but I make it quite clear that I am with you. Hell, I talk about you constantly. All I do is talk about you to him." Could he not see that I absolutely adored him?
Ignoring my declaration, he calmed down slightly. "I need you."
"I needed you until I realised she needs you, and you always make sure she's happy."
"I don't love her." He ground out, blinking away tears as he came closer to me once again. "I love you. I don't feel anything for her."
It could have fooled me, but it did not this time. "I want a baby. Don't you want to have a baby with me?
"It's not that." he sighed, letting out a frustrated groan. "The boys are teenagers, and they're able to do things for themselves. I don't want to go through that fucking stage again of having to watch a newborn constantly, dealing with nappies and screaming."
My lips parted. "Okay." Well, I wanted that.
"I didn't know you were planning a surprise," he said, giving me a sad smile.
I shrugged back. "No big deal. I had brought you a new fishing rod and tackle box gear. Surprise! Happy birthday, Griffin." Pulling away, I ran a hand through my hair. "Ah, I hate this house."
"What?"
I reached up, wiping my eyes on my cotton sleeve.
He swallowed loud enough for me to hear. "I didn't know that it was her for sure."
“From the second I moved in here, you should have told her not to come over.” I sniffed. “I can’t even hang anything on the walls or buy things to make it feel like mine. This house is a man cave.”
“Buy anything you want. Change everything, Ayla. Just don’t leave. Don’t do this to us.”
I just rolled my eyes, walking towards him and bringing my hands to his chest, touching him one last time. His hands tangled through my hair, curling into a tight fist as our lips drew together and crashed like ocean waves. Heat and electricity lighted up my insides as our tongues tasted one another. He tasted of liquor and cigarettes, but I was still addicted to him.
Pulling back, I shook my head. He looked pained, and it killed me to hurt him.
No. I could not do this. I needed to leave before I changed my mind. "I have to go."
He pleaded. "We can work this out."
"No, we can't. You refuse to change, and she's always going to have some sickening hold on you. You won't do anything about it. I understand you needing to do this and keep the peace for the boys, but you need to draw the line somewhere. She's in our home every day. Imagine if you were in my shoes and my ex was coming over, hanging out daily. You'd have beaten the shit out of him." Heck, he wanted to beat the shit out of Harvey, and we weren't even a couple.
He was about to speak when a horn honked outside, and his brows dipped. "You called Harvey to come get you?" he grimly said. "Unbelievable! I should have known."
I shook my head as I walked towards the door, passing him and picking up my case by the handle. "No, Griffin. I called my mum because I'm going back home."
"You're honestly leaving me?" Turning, I watched as he kept walking towards the couch. He blinked away more tears until he stopped trying and let them fall to his cheeks. "I've lost you, haven't I?"
I nodded as the reality set in. He had lost me, and I found myself.
"What am I going to tell the boys? You're not just leaving me, Ayla; you're leaving them too."
My hand stopped on the doorknob as my voice shook from the pain of leaving them all. "How about you tell them that you fucked up for once? You screwed up and lost the girl who worshipped you all."
"Ayla…" He sat, his head in his hands. His shoulders fell with each silent sob. "Don't do this."
He nodded, finally looking up with bloodshot eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, and I wished he did. If he had promised me the world, I would have stayed.
Instead, he said nothing. He said nothing, and I walked away.