“It’s so small.”
“Tiny.”
“Like, that is really, really small, Ayla.”
Smiling hard, I fought to keep my mouth shut and inner thoughts clean right now. Just a subtle yep was all that was needed.
“That’s your baby, growing healthy for eight weeks.” The doctor pulled us out of our battle over how little the baby is. “How have you been feeling?” he asked.
Griffin did not let me have a word in. It was obvious how excited he really was about the pregnancy. “She’s been sick, a lot. Like pulled-over-twice-on-the-drive-here sick.”
“I’m fine.” He was making me out worse than I really was. “It’s just morning sickness.”
“She’s throwing up all day and night. Is that normal?” Griffin asked, ignoring me.
The doctor nodded, straightening his glasses back up. “Of course, some women experience morning sickness that lasts all day. It should start to fade towards the second trimester. Just make sure you keep your fluid intake up, and once again, if there’s any sign of cramping of bleeding, please call my office immediately, just in case.” Just in case lose another baby. “Other than that, you’re good to leave.”
As happy as I was, I was also terrified, constantly worrying that maybe I would lose this baby at any moment. It was a normal thought, so Griffin kept trying to tell me as he comforted me. It may be normal, but it still scared the shit out of me.
Paying the bill, we made our way back to the car hand in hand. Griffin silently beamed beside me as I looked up, and I wanted to shake my head and laugh. It was pretty cute. He was really happy. I had not seen him this happy since I married him.
After all the shit that has happened lately, he could be as happy as he wanted. Hell, I was on cloud nine and ready to shout it from the rooftops that I had his baby growing in my tummy.
A slight breeze picked up and blew my hair around. Letting his hand go, I tied it up. His hand did not move and only went to my ass as we kept walking to the car. He closed the car door, and I could have just burst into tears when he pulled out our ultrasound picture and stared in awe at it.
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
“I know.” I was pretty damn excited myself. “I can’t believe I’m eight weeks. I thought probably four or five.”
He looked up, giving me an adoring smile as he gazed at me. Reaching his hand up, he cupped my cheek. “Yeah, considering you only took a test a week ago, I have to agree.”
One week ago, I had shocked the hell out of him with that tattoo. There was not just him and me in the shed; There was also a little baby inside me, making it the three of us. Too bad if it turned out to be nothing, and I had just inked that on Griffin’s wrist for the hell of it.
Luckily, I was pregnant, and our baby was going strong.
“When do you want to tell the boys?”
We had not really talked about that much. I did not want to throw too much at them at once. I was not sure how they would take the news that they were going to be big brothers to a baby fifteen years younger than them. Oh, god, what an age difference.
“How about tonight once they get back from school? We can have a family dinner?” He suggested, dropping his hand and starting the car up.
“What if they get mad? Maybe they’ll hate the idea.” I asked, almost afraid of their reactions.
“I doubt that. Mack will probably be more excited than Toby. Toby will just be grossed out knowing we had sex.” He went to pull out but hit the brakes and pointed. “Is that Harvey?”
My nausea picked up again as I looked to where he pointed. There he stood with a woman beside him—a heavily pregnant woman who, of course, was all sorts of beautiful. He looked happy, but in a way, he looked different. His hair was much longer, and the piercings were gone from his face. There was no facial hair or tats showing. He looked, well… not like the guy I knew.
A pang hit my chest. It was no jealousy that I felt. It was hurt for the friendship lost between us. I felt as if he only wanted me when Griffin was treating me badly. Then when Griffin came back, I was pretty much dropped for the new woman—the woman he was in love with.
“Are you okay?” Griffin asked, giving my thigh a rub.
I nodded. I really was okay. “Yeah, just wish he did not turn out to be such a dick.” For making a move on me while I was suffering a broken heart.
“I ought to go over there and introduce him to my fist, fucking wanker.” There was no love lost between those two.
I just laughed as he began to reverse once again and drove us home. There were no pit stops needed. I made it just in time to throw up in the kitchen sink.
“Are you okay?” Griffin came rushing over, his hand rubbing my lower back. Yeah, because that was going to help. “Fuck,” he muttered as I threw up once again.
“Water,” I mumbled, between hurls. This really was not fun, but in a way, it soothed me. As long as I was throwing up, I could be eased that my pregnancy was going well.
Cool liquid filled my mouth, and I swallowed, relishing the comfort it gave me. Griffin had not left my side and was all eyes on me. “Do you want to have a lay down?”
“Not really.”
“What about on the couch? I could put a movie on for you?”
I did not feel like watching anything, really. “Maybe just turn the TV on.”
“I’ll get the hard drive and put on Greys?”
He knew me well. “Please.”
“Anything for my pregnant wife.”
Snuggled up on the couch, a water bottle plus a bucket was beside me with a towel in case I needed to throw up again. I swear, he was more concerned about my vomit hitting the new couch than anything else. His body was behind mine, holding me closely.
“Griffin… pause the TV.” I told him, yawning and reaching for my phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, doing so.
“Nothing. I just need to make a phone call.” I could not hold off any longer.
Mum burst into tears when I had called her on the phone. I was going to wait, but in the end, I could not. We would tell others when I was further along, but for now, the kids and my parents were the only ones who would know.
Speaking of the boys, they still did not know. I could not wait to tell them either.
My bladder also could not wait, and I darted off to the bathroom.
I was standing in our bedroom, holding the photograph in my hands and smiling like a dork.
Griffin came up behind me. With a hand, he brushed all my hair from the side, leaving my neck exposed. “Am I allowed to be extremely turned on, knowing that you’re pregnant with my child inside of you?”
I nodded, a soft moan escaping. “Mmm, course you are. Am I allowed to be lazy and not get on top this time?”
I shivered slightly, and my eyes closed on their own accord as I felt his lips against the nape of my neck, trailing soft kisses down that left a tingle of goosebumps right down my spine. “I’ll be gentle.”
“Oh, yeah? Like when you said you’d pull out, and you didn’t?” I laughed, remembering that moment.
He laughed, turning to face me. “I didn’t pull out because I wanted you pregnant, and mission is accomplished. I’m going to go slow because I don’t want to hurt you or our baby.”
Aww, so sweet. “Hate to break it to you, babe, but as big as you are… it kind of isn’t that big, and it’s definitely not going to touch the baby.”
“I know that,” he muttered, shaking his head at me. “I just… I want this baby, Ayla. I really want this.”
As I went to undress, he stopped and reached for my hand. I was confused as he stood in front of me, halting my movements. “Did you not want to? We don’t have to... I’m okay to just cuddle.”
His eyes locked on mine. Taking a step closer, he shook his head. “Let me do this. I want you to feel it, Ayla… feel just how much I love you right now.” Slowly, he began to continue undressing me.
As he promised, I felt it. I felt the love and need he had for me. His mouth took its sweet time bringing me to that glorious O, twice. It felt like forever when he hovered above me. His teasing thrusts filled me with satisfaction as I wrapped my legs around his thighs and locked him in close.
He really did want it gentle, slow, and tender.
Lifting my head up, his arm slipped underneath my neck, and I moved in against his chest. His arm curled around my face, and I traced a finger over his wrist. The tattoo has healed almost completely. “Are you sure you like it?”
“I do.” Pausing, his voice changed, and he was leaning over me once more. “What’s wrong?”
“Why would you think something is wrong?” He knew me well, that was why.
“You keep asking if I like it. Are you not happy with it?”
“I should have added the boys into my calculations. It’s not just us. It’s them, too.” I had been kicking myself about that. “Maybe I could—” My words were cut off by a chaste kiss.
Pulling away, his hand grazed over my temple and down my cheek. “Yes, it would make things five, but pretty, this baby is ours first… just you and me.”
“But it’s not just us. It’s them, too.” I would hate for them to feel neglected and put out just because there was a baby coming along soon.
His chest rose and fell with a deep sigh. “When Karen told me that she was pregnant, I asked her to get rid of it. I’m not proud of that, Ayla.” I did not think I would be either. His admission did not shock me as much as it should have. I understood, in some crazy way.
“You were young.”
“I was too busy getting high and pissed to bother with the check-ups.”
I nodded, not sure what else I could do. “That doesn’t make you a bad father.”
“I told her I didn’t believe her, that I wanted to break up, then went on a boys camping trip.” A mocking laugh rumbled through his chest. “Came back, and she had the pregnancy test and ultrasound out on the table. Realised that, fuck yeah, she’d gotten pregnant, and my life was pretty much over.”
“You’re a wonderful dad to them, Griffin. It’s okay that you were afraid at first. You’ve always put them first. Everything you do is in some way for them, to provide and protect them.” He could not be judged on a thing that happened over a decade ago. He needed to let go and forgive himself.
“Wish I had met you back then.”
“Creeper, I was like four back then. Are you trying to tell me that you want me to call you daddy and ask for a spanking?”
He laughed. I finally got a smile from him. “If I want to spank you, then I will.”
“Shall I bend over?” I suggested, wiggling my brows. “Can I count, or would you like to gag me with my panties?”
“Pretty, I’d rather gag you with my cock, but you’re off oral duties until you stop throwing up.”
I pretended to pout in frustration. In actual fact, I could not be happier. That was the last thing I wanted in my mouth. I knew I would definitely throw up. I could barely stomach brushing my teeth without heaving over the sink and having my eyes water.
“So the tattoo is okay, then?” Time for a change of subject.
“The tattoo is more than okay. This is a baby between us. It’s something you and I created.”
“Oh, when you lasted like ten seconds?” I grinned, brushing my fingers through his hair.
He laughed softly. “I apologised for that. It had been awhile.” His hand splayed out across my naked stomach, rubbing softly as he leaned over my body and smiled down. Looking into my eyes, he went to kiss me, skimming his lips across my jaw and whispering out those three words I adored. “I love you, crazy woman.”
I would show him crazy when I was eight months pregnant and moody. “Crazy woman who’s pregnant with your baby.”
***
Dinner was in the oven, and my nerves were like a tornado inside my stomach. Toby and Mack were sitting at the table waiting to be fed while Griffin was opposite them, asking about their day at school.
“Why are we having dinner early?” Toby asked, drumming his fingers on the table with a yawn. “I have Halo that I wanted to play.”
“You can play after we’ve eaten. We wanted to speak with you both. What’s a better way than when there’s food involved?” Griffin said, smirking as he stood up and made his way to the oven just before the timer went off.
Okay, since when did he ever help with cooking and dinner? He was really outdoing himself with all of this, letting me take it easy. I did not mind, but he better not get me used to it and then all of a sudden ditch the helpfulness.
“Griffin, I can do that.”
“No lifting.”
Oh, god. He could not be serious. “It’s a casserole. Not ten kilos of spuds.” I sighed, giving up and reaching for the ladle to dish the chicken curry over the rice.
“Why can’t Mum lift?” Mack asked, taking his plate once it was ready.
“I can. Dad’s just being ridiculous.”
Sitting down, Griffin cleared his throat. “Ayla’s pregnant. She can’t lift, and I need you boys to make sure she doesn’t pick anything heavy up.”
Both boys, including myself, sat wide-eyed, shocked and staring open-mouthed at Griffin.
“Griffin!” I kicked him in the leg “What happened to easing into this lightly?”
“Ayla, we’re having a baby. There’s no going into this lightly. It’s a good thing.” He smiled, taking my hand and squeezing it gently.
“Gross. You two..” Toby pushed his plate aside, gagging. “That’s just… I can’t even eat knowing you and Dad took a trip to pound town.”
“Pound town?” Griffin looked more impressed than disgusted. “Never heard of that one. May have to take another trip after dinner.”
“Please stop,” Mack begged. “I beg of you.”
I laughed. “Yes, let’s stop, but you still have to eat your food. So sit back down, Toby, and eat.”
Mack cocked his head to the side. “When will the baby be here?”
“Just after Easter next year. Are you okay with that?” I began to feel nervous again. Maybe they were not happy about all of this.
Griffin and I shared a nervous glance. “You do know, that this doesn’t change the way we feel about either of you.”
“Chill, old man,” Toby scoffed. “We get it. We kind of expected it. I mean, Ayla, doesn’t have any kids of her own, and you’re always banging.”
“Do you have an ear at the door? We aren’t always doing that.” I defensibly said, my cheeks burning up.
“No.” He shot back, looking equally embarrassed that I could suggest such a thing. “Just saying that you and Dad were going to have kids of your own. It’s okay.”
I wanted to believe him. I badly did. “Are you sure?”
Mack grinned. “Yeah, a baby! I bet it’s a girl. I want a sister.”
“Put some money on that, nerd, and you got yourself a bet,” Toby said, smirking. In no time, he and Mack began to bet on whether our baby would be a boy or girl.
“Wait, it could be twins.” I pointed out. “Maybe one’s just hiding.”
The cough of shock beside me was well worth it. Griffin cleared his throat with a glass of water. “Twins?”
I played along. “Sure, I mean, there’s always that chance of one hiding. Two sets of twins could be fun.”
If he weren't shaking his head so fast, I would probably be able to see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “But we saw just one today. He said just one.”
“Dad’s about to have a heart attack.” Toby snickered, and Mack grinned.
Putting him out of his misery, I rubbed his arm. “Don’t look so ecstatic about it. There’s only one. Relax.” Although there were those cases, I thought it was best not to scare him anymore.
“Yeah, not funny,” he muttered, shooting me a glare.
My smile did not falter even once. This was fun. “Aww, I think you’re losing your sense of humour in your old age, baby.”
Mack laughed. “Dad, can you imagine how cool that would be? Two babies.”
“Be fucked if I’m buying a minivan,” Griffin exclaimed. “I refuse to buy one of those, Ayla.”
Oh, this was his concern. “Oh, truth comes out now. Don’t worry. No minivan for us.”
Blowing out a breath of relief, he winked. “Even if we did, you’d be the one driving it.”
I laughed hard. “Afraid you’ll lose your bad boy cred, huh?”
“You know it.”
The boys finally passed out, and that meant we could go to sleep. I did not like going to bed before them. You never know what could happen. Pulling the covers up over our bodies, I yawned, rolling to my side as Griffin turned the lamp off.
“Sweet dreams, baby.” I yawned, half-asleep already.
I felt his lips against the nape of my neck as his arms slid around to their usual place: one underneath my neck and the other around my waist. Only this time, his hand was holding protectively over my belly.
With a whisper, he softly spoke, “Told you they’d be happy.”
Yes. He sure did.