Six
Piper
The funeral was large and loud. When we stepped inside the church, I immediately spotted ten cousins and four second cousins. They were all crammed in the middle of the aisle talking loudly and boisterously. If you didn’t know why we were all there, you would have thought someone was getting married not buried.
My mother led the way down the aisle, squeezing her way between relatives, stopping to say hello as she went. I kept my head down. Avoiding eye contact was the best way to get through this without someone…
“Piper?!” A voice yelled from a few feet away. Everyone in the vicinity immediately fell silent. “Piper! You came!”
I turned to see my cousin Melissa hurrying toward me. She engulfed me in a bone crushing hug before pulling away. She held onto my arms and looked me up and down.
“Ugh! You look gorgeous,” she said with venom in her voice. “I don’t know why I’m surprised, you always were the pretty one.”
“Thanks Mel,” I said softly. “You look great. How long has it been?”
“Six years!” she half-yelled. “Can you believe that?”
“No,” I shook my head and glanced around me. I caught Audra’s eye and tried to silently convey I needed help. She just laughed and made her way into a pew with the kids. I could have killed her.
“So, what have you been up to? Still in New York? How are things? Are you still a paralegal or something like that?”
“A lawyer,” I nodded. “Yeah, I’m still…”
“Oh no!” Melissa interrupted. “Looks like they’re about to start. We better sit.”
Melissa hurried away in a blur. I turned around and made my way over to Audra in a fog. When I sat down, I shoved my shoulder hard against hers.
“Ouch,” she snapped.
“I can’t believe you just left me with her!” I hissed under my breath.
“You looked like you were doing fine,” she chuckled.
“I hate you,” I told her again.
“You might want to be careful with your hatred today. I could be next, you now?” She gestured toward the casket at the front of the church.”
“Drama queen,” I mumbled.
***
At the funeral, I realized how sad I actually felt about my Uncle Jeff. It may have been a decade since I last saw him, but when the eulogies were read, I remembered everything I loved about him. It didn’t take long for me to start crying. Audra held my hand and all of our bickering was forgotten.
After everyone moved to the cemetery and we watched as Uncle Jeff was lowered into the ground, we piled into cars and drove through town toward Kellan’s pub. Uncle Jeff’s one request was an Irish wake and the Prewitts were nothing if not accommodating to the dead.
Kellan’s was decked out in pictures of Uncle Jeff. Every inch of bare wall was covered with his face. I shook my head and went straight for the bar. Grabbing two pints, I claimed a table with Audra and we raised our glasses to Uncle Jeff.
“He was a good uncle,” Audra said.
“He was a little pervy,” I reminded her.
“But good all the same,” she argued.
“Yeah,” I agreed sadly. “He was.”
“I know I already said it,” Audra began. “But I’m really glad you’re here, Pipe.”
“You’re just happy to have someone else around to incur Mom’s wrath,” I teased.
“I’m serious,” Audra said. She took a swig of her beer. “We miss you when you’re not around.”
“She’s right,” Jack, Audra’s husband, said as he pulled up a chair beside Audra.
“Where are the kids?” I asked with a nervous glance behind me.
“I set them up on the patio,” Jack said. “They’re good for a few hours.”
I nodded and took another swig of my beer. I had forgotten how good beer from Kellan’s tasted. I took another drink.
“Even Mom and Dad talk about it,” Audra continued. “Things just aren’t the same without you.”
“Is she drunk already?” I joked, looking at Jack.
“Nope,” Jack laughed. “Just sentimental. It happens when you turn thirty.”
Audra slapped Jack’s arm playfully and rolled her eyes.
“Fine,” she said. “I won’t gush over how much I miss my little sister or how badly Mom and Dad want her to move back. If it bothers you guys that much, I’ll just go check on the kids.”
“No,” I said quickly. “Audra, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to make fun of you.”
“Yes, you did,” she snapped.
“I miss you guys, too,” I promised.
“Do you?” She asked seriously.
“Of course,” I laughed. “You’re my family.”
“Then why don’t you ever come home?” Audra demanded.
“Aud…” Jack warned.
“You know why,” I told her softly. “It’s hard for me. Being back here.”
“But it doesn’t have to be,” Audra insisted. “The more you come back, the easier it’ll become.”
“I don’t want it to be easy,” I said. “I like my life in New York.”
“Do you?” Audra’s skepticism annoyed me.
“Audra, don’t you remember how long I spent thinking up plans for my life? By the time I was fifteen I knew exactly what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be.”
“I remember,” Audra said.
“So, aren’t you the least bit happy for me?”
“Of course, I am,” Audra promised. “I just don’t think you are happy.”
“What does that mean?” I could feel myself getting defensive and the last thing I wanted to do was fight with my sister.
“It means that you’re drowning, Piper.”
“Drowning?” I scoffed.
“You flit from relationship to relationship, never settling down. You work crazy hours and…”
“I have a job, so what?”
“So, that job is not your entire life.”
“And you think I don’t know that?” I demanded.
“I think you’re scared,” Audra said bluntly.
“Scared?” I asked, “Scared of what?”
“Living.”
I fell silent and leaned back in my chair. As annoyed as I was with Audra, I couldn’t find it in me to argue with her anymore. She hit on a touchy subject that I didn’t want to explore. It was bad enough having to picture Logan’s face. I didn’t think I could handle having a conversation about him.
Jack sat beside Audra with a concerned look. He’d always worried about me, from the time I was a little girl and he and Audra started going out. He was a good brother, a good husband to my sister. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ignore my sister and focus on Jack.
“Jack,” I said pointedly. “How’s work going?”
“Oh,” Jack said. He glanced at Audra who just shook her head and sighed. “It’s really good. Things have been…”
Jack launched into an explanation about how wonderful business had been lately. The repair shop he owned was the only one in town, so it wasn’t like he had competition, but it was his pride and joy. He loved that shop almost as much as he loved his family. It was his goal in life to pass it down to his sons when they grew up.
I listened to the rise and fall of Jack’s voice, not catching every word, but happy to be sitting there listening to him. Despite what Audra thought, I did miss being in Bradberry. It was nice to see her and Jack. It was nice to see my cousins and even Aunt Miriam. As much as I hated to admit it, I was even happy to see my parents. There was only one thing keeping me away from Bradberry and it didn’t have anything to do with my family.
The door clanged open behind me and I turned around instinctively. I expected to see another relative or family friend walk through the door and grab a pint, but instead my eyes fell on a familiar face. The exact face I had been picturing moments before.
Logan walked further into the pub, his eyes scanning the room. He looked bigger than the last time I saw him, stronger. His muscles were threatening to tear apart his suit coat and his tie seemed too tight around his neck. Still, he looked handsome. More than handsome. My eyes roamed over his body and his face, glad that he hadn’t seen me yet. I felt glued to my chair. I wanted to move, to run before he saw me, but I couldn’t. My entire body felt heavy.
“What is he doing here?” I heard a voice ask, but it took me a minute to realized it was mine.
“I don’t know…” Audra said, but her words were lost as Logan’s eyes finally found mine. We stared at each other for a fraction of second before my body suddenly felt light and I jumped to my feet. Without a word, I ran toward the back of the pub and disappeared out into the alleyway out back. I didn’t stop running until I was several streets away and breathing heavily.
My heart was racing and my forehead was dripping with sweat, but I didn’t care. I sat down on a curb and put my head between my knees. I told myself to breathe, that I was being ridiculous, but my mind was still racing.
Why was Logan at Kellan’s? Why would he show up to the wake? Was it to see me? Or was it to see…
I sat up and shook my head roughly. My thoughts were running away from me and I had to pull myself together. When Audra accused me of being scared to live I knew she was right. I didn’t want to admit it, but there was a truth to her statement that I couldn’t ignore. Ever since Logan broke my heart, I had been hiding. Ever since that night, I had been terrified of everything…