Chapter Nine: Wyatt

After tossing and turning for many, long hours, I finally fell into a restless, troubled sleep. I wanted sleep to be easy but instead my brain wouldn’t let it go. Whatever the hell it was.

Even though I was out of the military I still slept like I was. I was trained to sleep lightly, to be able to wake up at a moment’s notice. I don’t know when the last time was I fell so deeply into sleep that I forgot my surroundings.

Sleep like that was luxury and not something to indulge in enemy territory when the squad could be attacked at any time. Being back in civilian territory hadn’t been enough to change my sleep pattern I developed over the last few years.

Tonight, in my dream, I was seated around a table with a group of five other guys. We were all dressed in camouflage gear with patches proclaiming U.S. Army.

We had just come back from a successful mission and were having a drink at a local bar in a small town in the Iraq to celebrate. The town was known to be friendly to American soldiers and we had thought ourselves safe enough.

We had been ribbing a newcomer to the group Luke Temple, just before all hell had broken loose. In typical fashion, Luke just been initiated into the group with a bunch of pranks, the latest of them left him running around the base nude with nothing but whipped cream covering his dick and a bright pink bowtie around his neck.

Luke’s face was red as the rest of the guys, including myself, laughed. He took it well though, guffawing with the rest of the men as jokes were made about the sight of his bare ass fumbling around the camp in search of his clothes.

I kind of felt bad for the barely twenty-year-old guy. My own initiation into the group had been no less embarrassing. However, it was funny remembering the horrified look on his face when our base camp leader had spotted his mad dash.

A fresh round of laughter sounded at the table just before the world exploded.

The sound deafened me as my body was flown with the force of the blast. When my hearing came back, lots of noise intruded, hurting my ear drums.

My vision was blurred and a dull ache started to pulse on the back of my head.

I was disoriented and confused and for a moment I lost all my senses

“Medic,” someone yelled and I recognized the voice of my squad leader. “Medic, we need you over here!”

The voice grounded me and my focus became clear. My training kicked in and I got to my feet.

My job was providing medical support to the others.

It was my role in the group but most importantly, it was who I was.

I rushed over, steeling my muscles when my legs threatened to buckle under me.

People were screaming and some - those who could – were running away from the scene. Words I couldn’t understand were being shouted with panic and fear in the pitch and tone. Smoke and debris were making it hard to breath and faces were darkened with the mess the blast had created.

Later, we would learn that the explosion was the work of a suicide bomber with something to prove to a radical group hiding out in the area. Fuckers. But all I knew then was providing my team, and others who were injured in the incident, with the medical help they needed.

There were broken bones and limbs and blood, due to the bombers crazy beliefs. I saw a few sightless eyes and unmoving chests but I ignored them as I moved to where my squad leader was hunched over Luke. The other men were helping the injured people in the bar.

Luke was bleeding. Red was all over him, coming from his nose and mouth. He was just a fucking kid.

A large slab of wood was protruding from his chest and threatening his life.

I got to work, pushing my emotions to the side and focusing on the task at hand as my leader radioed in for more medical support and reported the explosion to the relevant authorities.

Luke suddenly grabbed onto my hand with surprising strength. My surprised gaze jumped up to his.

“Please save me,” he begged, coughing up more blood and fluids.

For a second his face changed, and it was my father’s. His lips repeating the same words.

That wasn’t the first time this had occurred while I worked on an injured person. I had gotten better as pushing my personal issues to the side, and just as quickly as my father’s face had been superimposed on Luke, it was gone.

I looked him in the eyes and said, “I’m going to do my best, buddy. Just hold on for me. You’re going to get through this”

Luke’s eyes had closed then and his life was left in my hands.

Presently, mine opened and I was awake, transitioning into consciousness in less than a second.

I laid still in my bed, my body quiet and my senses scanning my surroundings automatically. I heard the distance hum of traffic and a light drizzling of rain sounded outside.

My heart beat was slow and heavy and a fine sheen of sweat had broken out over my skin.

My mind was still reliving the event of that night almost a year ago.

Luke had lived, although his injuries had changed his life forever and left him no longer able to serve his country. They told me it was because of my efforts he had survived.

Every time I was told I was instrumental in saving someone’s life I felt a rush of pride but it was also accompanied by an insidious wash of guilt.

There was no going back with my dad. I would never be able to save him no matter how many others I helped.

Panic suddenly tightened my chest, making it hard to breathe. Even though I knew there was no one else in the apartment with me, I could hear voices calling out to me to save their life. Others blamed me for failing them. My father’s voice was the loudest of all.

I recognized the onset of the PTSD attack and quickly got out of bed, trying to block out the voices. I went into the bathroom, grabbed the prescription pills out of the medicine cabinet and filled a glass with water from the sink.

My hands were shaking and it took a few tries before I was able to open the small tube of white pills.

I threw the pills into my mouth and chased them back with the entire glass of water.

I just stood there for long minutes after, trying to calm my mind and center myself in the here and now.

My diagnosis of PTSD was part of the reason I got out of the military. The other was wanting to pursue a career as a doctor.

Eventually the voices quieted, and I was able to think clearly again.

I looked at the simple digital watch on my right wrist. It was after four AM and I knew there was no hope of me getting any more sleep before the sun rose.

Besides, being inside my small apartment, I felt claustrophobic after the panic attack. I needed to get out.

I donned sweat pants and a hoodie over the pair of boxer briefs I had slept in. With keys and cell phone in my pocket and headphones in my ears, I headed out the door.

I ran for several miles before my mind cleared and I was just able to enjoy the crisp early morning air.

I returned to my apartment just after six AM and immediately headed for the shower to wash off the sweat from my skin.

The heated water beat down on my head and shoulders. Hands braced against the tiled wall and head down, I was able to think about something other than death and war and of course, my thoughts turned to Hailey.

Instantly, my dick became hard and my heart beat quickened for an entirely different reason. My eyes closed and I imagined her face as she orgasmed on top of me. The image filled every corner of my mind, chasing away the shadows it held moments ago. I had wanted to spend the rest of the night bringing that look of bliss to her face. Our time together had ended far too soon.

After our friends with benefits agreement less than twelve hours ago, she had answered her cell phone instead of continuing our interlude. After a whispered conversation that had me all kinds of jealous, she hightailed it out of my apartment without an explanation.

I hadn’t asked if she was seeing anyone. Was that her reason for resisting the obvious connection between us? She made me fucking crazy. I just wanted her for myself.

Eyes still closed, I wrapped my mind in the passion we shared earlier. I remembered the hot silken feeling of being inside her snug body. I remembered the way she responded to my every touch and word. She had been so open and generous with her wants. With her body. In her eyes, I thought I saw my every desire, physical and otherwise, reflected there.

I could come from just remembering those few stolen moments we had.

I didn’t remember grabbing hold of my dick but I hissed from the contact of my hand on the pulsing flesh.

My soapy hand gripped my swollen length tight and stroked hard. My hips jerked to the movements of my hand. My release rushed towards the surface.

“Hailey,” I groaned her name as I came. The sound was drawn out and low. Filled with longing.

My cum spurted from me, mixing with the falling water to run down the drain. It felt like I came forever yet it was over far too soon.

Energy suddenly depleted I sagged against the wall then looked down at myself ruefully.

My cock was still hard and pulsing like an angry snake. Despite my orgasm, I was still aroused, my fist a poor imitation of the heated clasp of her body.

After my release within Hailey’s body, my heart told me what I already knew but didn’t want to admit. I still had feelings for her. I was an idiot to have ever let her go but I wasn’t going to let her get away from me a second time.

My normal defenses were down once I found satisfaction in her body and I began imagining how things would be like they used to be. Better in fact, if the way we just fucked was any indication.

Then I looked in her eyes, saw the regret and knew my little fantasies were just that… Fantasies.

I was hung up on this woman like nobody’s business and all she wanted to do was get away from me.

Was this my penance for handling her heart so callously in the past?

Before she even said us being together was a mistake I knew she would. It still felt like a knife to my heart hearing it though.

I panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

“Let’s be friend with benefits,” I had said.

It felt wrong saying it but having a small piece of her was better than having nothing at all.

I would settle for any piece she chose to share with me.

For now.

I told her I would keep my emotions out of it but that was just a promise I could not keep. I needed a plan to win her over. I got out of the shower and towel dried my body. While my mind schemed, I got dressed and headed out. I would grab a bite to eat then head to the library to put in a few hours of studying.

My school bag was on my back when I closed the front door behind me.

It was a new day. The sun was out and even after the terrible way the night ended with Hailey, I was optimistic.

She would be mine again.

I never failed a mission.