CHAPTER 12
Evan
Because I so badly wanted the day to end, it naturally slugged by with excruciating slowness. I needed to be free from the hospital’s walls, free from thoughts of Sarah, and free from the childhood memories I so desperately wished to leave behind.
Not to mention, I needed to be free from the feelings Tessa kept bringing to the surface. Damn, that girl. She got me to talk about my past, while I sat there and considered slipping a hand underneath her scrubs.
As I rounded the corner to leave the hospital, I came to a screeching halt at the sight of Tessa talking with Nurse Watson and the intern. It sometimes seemed like the simple thought of Tessa could make her appear, as if my subconscious somehow had a way of wheeling her in. Unfortunately, now just wasn’t the time to face her again, especially since I knew Sarah was undoubtedly the topic of the conversation she was partaking in. What else would Tessa have to talk to Nurse Watson and her intern about?
I clenched my jaw and slowly started to move backwards, hoping my presence would remain undetected. But of course luck wasn’t on my side. Sensing me, Tessa looked up right before I’d managed to take myself out of view. Shit. Our eyes locked for a moment before I turned my back and hurried off in the opposite direction, deciding to use an alternate exit. It would take me longer to get to my car, but I didn’t care.
“Hey there, Dr. Sholly.”
I looked toward my left and mustered a smile at Molly, a nurse who I knew was friends with Tessa. “Good night, Molly. See you later,” I said.
“Wait, Sholly—I think Tessa wanted to see you before you left.”
I’m sure she did, I thought, and fought to keep my expression neutral. “I’m kind of in a hurry. If you see her, tell her I’ll catch her later,” I said, and then picked up my pace because I knew that speaking of Tessa would make her appear again. Some God damned magic or something.
I burst out of the hospital doors, welcoming the cool evening air. I hadn’t realized how much those walls had been stifling me until that point. Despite the coolness of the air, there was a slight mugginess to it too, and the darkening clouds hovering overhead foretold of rain. I listened to the sounds of my shoes hitting the pavement, along with the gentle hum of distant traffic and the varying styles of music coming from the occasional cars that passed by me. The noises managed to momentarily cloud my mind until I finally reached my car and hopped in. With a sigh, I cranked the engine and turned on the own radio, blasting it at full volume. It was no use though; my thoughts could no longer be silenced.
I tore out of the parking lot and watched the hospital building grow smaller in my rearview mirror. The smaller the building appeared though, the larger Tessa’s face grew in my mind.
Although I hadn’t disclosed much to her, I had still told her more than I could remember telling anyone in recent memory. Hell, not even just recent memory—I’d told her more than I had ever told anyone, period.
All throughout school, classmates had been able to piece together parts of my story due to the rampant rumors that tended to snake through adolescent mouths. And although I’m sure plenty of my teachers must have known, I had never verbally confided in anyone. Even when I entered the military, I kept my mouth shut about my past, including with my superiors. My past held too much power over me, and I never wanted anyone to have any access whatsoever to that power.
Yet, I had given Tessa Kennery a piece of it. I could practically count on my fingers how many days I’d known her, and now she knew one of my biggest secrets.
Again, I marveled at why this woman had such an effect on me. Whatever it was, it went beyond her pretty face. I’d seen plenty of beauty in my day, but had never been so close to falling to pieces over other women like I felt when around Tessa. That woman made me feel like a mystery, even to myself.
As I neared my home, I contemplated whether to stop by a fast-food joint for dinner, but quickly changed my mind, figuring that I would rather cook instead. Preparing a meal would help fill the hours before I crashed in bed, and help occupy my thoughts as well.
So as I parked and entered my bachelor’s pad, I headed straight for the kitchen after taking a shower. After rummaging in the refrigerator for what supplies I had readily available, I pulled out some tomato sauce, chicken breast, and parmesan cheese, and then raided my cabinets for pasta, herbs, and spices. Chicken parmesan had always been my go-to meal in the military. It was something that wasn’t too difficult, but impressive nonetheless.
Once it was done, I pulled out a wine glass and almost immediately replaced it, settling for a couple beers instead, despite knowing I would regret it in the morning because I had a mandatory staff meeting to attend.
As I sat at my kitchen table eating my meal, I found that it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as I wanted it to be. I was alone, as usual, but this time it was different. I didn’t want to be. My night shifts might be over.
After meeting Tessa, being alone just didn’t feel right anymore.