Chapter Twenty-Eight - Ivy
“Just take a deep breath,” Nora says. “And tell me what happened.”
What happened was I got in that Uber car and hauled myself all the way down the coast to the San Diego airport where I arrived after the last flight of the day and had to spend the night on the concourse because the Motel 6 was all booked up and I didn’t have an extra two hundred and twenty dollars for the Hilton after I paid for my one-way ticket home.
And the worst part was that all I kept thinking about was the jet and how comfortable it was to sleep in that bed and order drinks at a bar with a real bartender.
Stupid jet.
“Ivy,” Nora says, shaking me by the shoulder. “Why are you crying?”
What am I supposed to say? Nolan Delaney took my virginity, played some kinky artist game with me, and then asked me to participate in a fantasy rape scene? Oh, and by the way, I didn’t get the job. Even though I had really great ideas! Really, really great ideas!
“Ivy?” Nora says again. “Do you need a cup of tea?”
“Yes,” I sniffle. “I’m damaged, Nora. I swear to God.”
“What happened? Was he rude?”
“Tea?” I squeak. I want the tea, but what I really need right now is not to have to explain myself.
“OK. Just sit here and calm down. I’ll be right back.”
We live in a townhouse, so the kitchen is on the second floor and the bedrooms are on floors one and three. I have the bottom, since this is technically Nora’s place and I only pay rent. She has the master bedroom with the rooftop terrace.
Nora runs up the stairs to the kitchen to get my tea started and I sit on my bed, still wearing Nolan Delaney’s clothes, and… and… I can’t even say it…
But I can smell him. His manly scent is all over these clothes. All over my body. And I know that makes me a freak, but I can smell him and it just makes me want to cry harder.
Calm down, calm down. Nora is going to come downstairs with my tea and start demanding details. And I’m not telling her anything. No one will ever know about this weekend and horrible….
I stop crying.
I take deep breaths and try to think of something else.
Like that stupid Mr. Corporate. Nolan followed me out of the house, saying, “We’ll figure it out,” and, “I don’t think you did anything wrong.” But then stupid Claudette came back and called me a lying whore from the comfort of her ugly Mercedes. And that I was only after Nolan’s money. And that I probably wasn’t on birth control.
I’ll probably get pregnant from the one time he came inside me and then she will be proven right!
I want to die.
And then Nolan said, “Shut up, Claudette! Go home!”
But she said, “No. I’m not letting you make more embarrassing mistakes and this tramp is…” Well, I don’t remember. By that time, I was walking down the hill, in what I thought was the direction of the main road. But it wasn’t and then the Uber driver charged me extra because I wasn’t at the right address.
And Nolan and I had a big fight in the middle of the street and people turned on their lights and the cops came!
I can’t believe this.
So I just got in the Uber car and said, “Drive!” And he said, “Where, lady?” And then I had to calm down and be all rational and explain. “The airport,” and, “Could you please hurry?”
It was all very dramatic.
I sigh, feeling a little better now that I ran it all through my head. I’m still not telling Nora. I can’t tell her what happened this weekend. She will want all the details about losing my virginity and what he did, and what I did, and how it was. And that will lead to the next day and the posing nude for him, and his offer.
That fucking offer.
And the worst part is… I can totally picture that yellow dress in my head.
“I’m sick.”
“Oh, honey,” Nora says from my bedroom door, my tea in hand. “I’m sorry. Is that why you’re crying? Did you get the shits while you were there? Did you drink that water they have? It does that sometimes.”
“I think that happens in Mexico,” I whine. “But yes,” I have to say something to account for how upset I am. “Yes, I totally got the shits and I had to borrow these clothes!”
I cry again. Wail into my pillow. Because I’d rather pretend I shit my pants in front of a hot guy instead of what really happened.
“I need to go home and see my parents,” I say. “I need to decompress.”
“Decompress from what?” Nora asks.
And I really do need to tell her something. So I opt for half the truth. “I didn’t get the job.”
“Oh, Ivy,” she says “I’m sorry, honey. But you knew that, right? You knew you weren’t going to get the job.”
“I know, but it’s worse. They said they never asked me to come. And they had a copy of my résumé that wasn’t mine. That’s why I got invited in the first place. It was just some big old mistake!”
“Well, that’s weird. How do they explain that?”
“They didn’t. They just sent me home.”
“Hmmm,” Nora says.
“So I’m going to go home for a few days and cry about it.” I sniffle. Then wipe my hand across my face.
“OK,” Nora says, sitting down on my bed and hugging me. “That’s a good idea. A few days away will do you good.”
“Yeah.” I get up and open my little carry-on. It’s filled with business clothes and right on top is the revealing black bathing suit that someone who is not me put inside my suitcase.
I realize it must’ve been Nolan and want to cry all over again.
Suck it up, Ivy.
I do. I suck it up. I throw my interview clothes into my closet and pack some shorts and tanks, and then slam it shut and fish through my purse for my keys.
“When will you be back?”
“I don’t know. A few days, maybe?”
“OK,” Nora says. “OK, if that’s what you need.”
I nod. “I need to be with my family. I’ll call you later, OK?”
Nora pouts her lip and hugs me again. “Drive safe,” she says. “And if you need to have another cry, just pull over and get it all out.”
“OK,” I say. “I will. Don’t worry about me. Really. I’m OK.”
“Oh, and I didn’t want to tell you, but I have an interview in New York on Wednesday. A huge PR firm. I’m leaving tomorrow night so I can miss traffic and then go shopping for a new outfit before. So I’ll be gone anyway. It’s good you’re going home. I don’t want you here alone.”
I feel like a complete loser. “I’m so jealous.”
“Oh, Ivy,” she says, sad again. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
But I wave her off and force myself to smile. “Congratulations, Nora. You deserve a good job. Really. I’m so happy for you.”
She squeezes my arm and says, “You too, sweetie. The right one will come along, don’t worry.”
That was the right job, I think as I walk out of the house and over to my car. I beep the lock open and then throw my carry-on into the back seat and get in. My ideas were so great. And Nolan never even got to hear them.
I pull away from the curb and start making my way back home to Bishop, Massachusetts.
But the only thing I see in my head is that yellow dress he promised me. And the date. The date and the fantasy. And his smell makes it all worse.
But by the time I drive the hour and a half to my parents’ house, nestled at the end of a winding road in the middle of the Bishop School for Girls campus, I’m all cried out and just need to sleep.
I greet my parents like nothing is wrong, but then make a hasty excuse to escape to my old bedroom for a shower and a nap, and stillness.
That damn dress. That dangerous offer. And that dark man.
Those are the only things I think about.
I even dream about him. And to my horror, when I wake up, there’s a pool of wetness between my legs.
I came just from the memory of what Mr. Romantic was promising.