Chapter Thirty-Eight - Ivy
OK. I’m convinced. I heard him laugh. This really is just a fantasy. We’re playing, I like it. And even though he took me by surprise with the anal, I like that too. It did hurt, I won’t lie. But it feels so good now.
His hips slap against my ass, the sound enough to pull me back into the moment. I was afraid, I admit it. But that laugh puts me at ease like no words ever will.
Nolan yanks on my hair, making me look at him as he fucks me from behind. “There should be only one thing on your mind, Ivy. How this will end.”
Is that code? Didn’t he say the ending is the best part?
“And not the ending you’re expecting,” he clarifies. Just like he’s reading my mind. “You think you deserve the hearts and flowers, Ivy? You think I’m going to fuck you like this and then… what? Just say, Kidding?”
His hand is gripping my left hip tightly one moment, and the next… a crack sounds off in the room and my face is stinging from his slap.
I can’t breathe.
“You have one job right now, Miss Rockwell. One. Be in this moment with me or I’ll drag you into it.” He reaches down to grab my throat, his thumb and fingers gripping either side of my jaw so hard, I cry out. “Do you understand me?”
I nod.
He spits in my face, rubs it over my lips, and then slaps me. “Talk, bitch!”
“Yes,” I say, trying not to cry. Telling myself over and over again, It’s a fantasy. It’s a fantasy. I’m going to love the end. I will love how it ends. “Yes,” I manage, just as he’s about to slap me again. “Yes. I understand.”
He lets go of my face and the hard pumping slows. He eases in and out several times before leaning over my back and resting his chest on me. We are skin on skin. His breathing isn’t nearly as labored as mine.
Every part of my body is shaking but I’m no longer cold. My legs tremble from exertion. My arms can’t even hold me up anymore, and when he rests more of his weight against me, I just collapse on the floor.
He fucks me in the ass so slow, I want to close my eyes and forget this fantasy. Just enjoy it. Enjoy everything about what he’s doing.
“You’ve been bad, Ivy. You laughed at me. So I’m not going to let you come. But I will let you decide what I should do next. What is the one thing you’re probably hoping I won’t do?”
I can think of many things I’ve seen in porn that have disgusted me, but before I can articulate them, his fingers find their way into my mouth, forcing it open. “Should I choke you with my hand before I choke you with my cock?”
I shake my head, the gag reflex taking over. I can’t stop it, and a pool of saliva drools out of my mouth as he pinches my nose closed. I gag again. And while I’m busy recovering and figuring out how to breathe with a hand in my mouth, he stands up, his cock slipping out of my ass as he pulls me with him, an arm hooked under mine, and walks us down a long hallway.
There are so many doors up here I can’t make sense of them. The mansion from the outside looked massive, but from the inside it looks like a puzzle. A maze. A place to get lost and never come back. Is that why he brought me here? So I will give in to him and lose myself?
We stop at the end of the hall, near another set of stairs that go both up and down, and he twists the handle and opens the door.
There are candles everywhere. In every corner they are alight, atop tall pillars, atop the pretty white mantel over the fireplace—even in the chandelier.
Nolan pushes me forward, making me trip and fall to my knees onto a soft sheepskin rug. He slams the door closed and then I hear the tell-tale click of it being locked from the inside. “Just in case you get any funny ideas about leaving early tonight, Ivy.”
My heart races. Why does he have to say these things? Just when I’m certain this is nothing but the fantasy we discussed, I get this. Either deliberate attempts to keep me frightened or a promise that things are about to go very wrong.
I might be the only one here living the fantasy tonight. He could be totally serious about what he doing.
No, I say in my head. No. He laughed. I heard it.
He’s mocking you, Ivy. Tell him to stop. Now! Before it goes too far and you can’t even press charges because you agreed to it!
No. No, he can’t be that man. Nolan cannot be that man that everyone says he is.
You haven’t even known this man a week, Ivy Rockwell. You’re as stupid as he is sick.
“Do you like the candles?”
I look up at him as he looms over me. He’s slowly unbuttoning his shirt. My wrists are burning from the rope. It’s soft, but it’s rubbing and they are red and will be inflamed tomorrow.
You’re not going to live until tomorrow.
“Yes,” I say.
“Well, that’s just about the only romantic thing I’ve planned for you tonight. The rest can go easy or hard. Depending on how you like it. Do you like it hard, Ivy?”
“Jesus Christ,” I say. “How am I supposed to answer that, Nolan?”
“Truthfully,” he says, extending his hand. I take it, gripping it in both of mine, the rope sliding along my skin, the friction making the burning sensation even worse.
“I’ll tell you,” I say, squaring my shoulders. “I’ll tell you if you untie me. I don’t want to be tied anymore.”
“You’re not the one in control tonight, remember? I am. I get to tell you what to do, not the other way around. And if you hate the rope, you can bet I’m gonna leave you tied up even longer now.”
He grabs me by both arms and hauls me over to the bed, throwing me down on the soft down comforter face first. Then his hips have me pinned, but I buck my body at just the right time, in just the right way, and he falls to the side. I get a foot up and kick him in the chest, giving me even more space. And then I’m off the bed, running towards the open bathroom door. If I can just get in there and lock it. If I can just—
He grabs my ankle and I go down hard onto the rug. And then he’s dragging me by my foot as I kick and yell and—panic.
The word is there. My tongue is pressing against my teeth, that sssss sound even coming from my mouth, but then he goes still.
I stop. I don’t say it, I just go still and wait. I’m sobbing, tears are running down my face. I’m breathing so hard I can’t stop the hyperventilation this time.
His next touch is soft. Just one moment of softness. A single fingertip slides up my calf and stops in the dent of my knee. Then his lips are there. Reminding me of what this is.
I won’t say it. I won’t.
He grabs my foot and drags me back to the bed the instant he realizes I gave in again. “I’m going to tie your legs open for that little stunt, Miss Rockwell. And then I’m going to fuck you sore.”
I don’t know what to do at this point. Cry? What good is crying? Tell him no? That will only make him try harder. Let him do what he wants? That feels like defeat.
Tell him to stop?
That feels like a mistake.
The yellow rope is around my ankles before I even reach that conclusion. He ties one leg to the footboard, then pulls my other one open, looking at my pussy as he walks to the other bedpost.
“Now you can’t move.”
But that’s not true. He didn’t tie my hands down. They are still bound together, so not much use. But they are not tied to the headboard. Yet.
“Do you know why I left your hands free?”
I have a feeling, but I stay silent.
Nolan leans down and kisses me on the lips as he unfastens his pants and pulls out his cock.
“So I can give you a better blow job?” I say.
He shakes his head and smiles. “So you can fight back. Maybe you’ll get in a good punch. Right here, Ivy. Right where you slapped me earlier this evening.”
I’m terrified again. How can my feelings be so all over the place? “It’s fantasy, it’s fantasy, it’s fantasy.” I whisper it like a chant.
“You think so?” Nolan asks, climbing on top of me and settling down on my hips. He leans forward, making his long, hard cock rest on my bare stomach. He grabs my wrists and flings them over my head, pressing them painfully against the headboard.
I don’t struggle. I want to close my eyes and make it stop. But I’m too chicken shit to even say the word.
“Do you really think you got here by accident, Ivy Rockwell?”
“What?” My eyes fly open.
“You’re perfect, right? A virgin,” he whispers. “When I claimed you. Did you really think I didn’t know? Please.” He laughs. “You’re so trusting. So innocent. So repressed. I knew you’d buy into the lie. Fuck you in the shower, make you come, talk you up with all that drawing business. Most girls don’t want me to demonstrate, but I did a passable job, don’t you think?”
“What?”
“You didn’t really think this was just a fantasy, did you?” He tsks his tongue and places one hand on the side of my head. My hair is wet, and not from the pool. I am burning up and sweat is pouring down my back. “So, so sweet,” he croons, dipping his face down to mine. He licks my lips and I recoil.
“What?”
“It’s real, Ivy. It’s real and you agreed to it. I’ve got it in writing. I’ve got—”
I spit on him. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you—”
He places a hand over my mouth and nose and says, “Sshhhh, Ivy.” And then he slaps my face so hard, the sting takes a second to catch up.
I buck my back, trying to throw him off me, but his hand is back over my nose and mouth, holding tight until I really can’t breathe. I’m in the full throes of a panic when he lets go and I start gasping for air.
“Just think of all the pretty pictures we’re making, Miss Rockwell.” Nolan kisses me on the mouth and I lose it.
“Goddamn it!” I yell, my bound fists pummeling into his chest. I reach for the tie and yank, taking control of him for once.
“Goddamn it!” I scream. “Goddamn it! Goddamn it! What is real? I can’t fucking tell!”
But my outburst only lasts a second and then he’s got his silk tie wrapped around my face, painfully tight against the corners of my mouth.
Nolan cocks his head the way he does when he’s amused, as he ties the knot at the side of my head.
“That’s the point,” he says, grinning like a madman.