Doug hadn’t been in any rush to see what Trent wanted. His comment about Earl had left a bad taste in his mouth. Even though they weren’t close at all, he still was Earl’s son. Not that anyone knows that.
After unpacking, he went back into the living room, hoping to find Rose. Her bedroom door was still closed. He walked over and knocked softly. If she was resting, he didn’t want to disturb her. When there was no answer, he decided to go for a walk around the island before they met for dinner later that night.
The last time he’d been here, he’d found a secluded spot. It was a steep and rocky hike and just far enough so most wouldn’t even notice it. For Doug, it was the perfect spot to find some desperately needed solitude. He needed time to think. Actually, there was too much going on in his head for him to comprehend anything. If he’d known what the lawyer was going to say, he’d never have agreed to come to Marpe-Agape.
He went to his room, switched out his jeans for a pair of shorts, and put on the boots he’d need for the climb. Then he left the suite and quietly made his way to the other side of the island. As he maneuvered his way around the brush and boulders, he replayed everything in his mind. The thing troubling him the most was the day of his father’s wedding. It had been almost two years, and he’d never given it another thought. Now he needed to recall as much as he could.
Doug had been disappointed that day for many reasons. His father had invited him to the wedding yet hadn’t acknowledged he was family . . . never mind his son. Now thinking back to his father’s expression as the introductions were made, had he been using Doug’s presence as a warning? Or had the entire reason for him being there been to size up the guests? Earl had followed my career, so he knew I counseled families. I might not have earned my PhD, but I’ve helped so many people. Dad, if you’d only opened up to me, been honest with why I was there, maybe I could’ve helped. Hell, maybe you’d be alive now.
As Doug began the last leg of the climb, he was filled with anger. Anger toward a man so fucking independent and stubborn he couldn’t let his own son in. Not even when I could’ve helped. Instead, his father died alone.
Doug was so deep in thought, he didn’t notice his place of solitude was occupied.
“I’m glad you could break yourself away from my sister,” Beckett said sarcastically from the highest spot.
Doug had several snappy comebacks yet resisted saying any of them. They both knew he was here only because Beckett asked him. KJ. That’s what Beckett had asked him to look into.
“I didn’t think anyone knew about this spot.”
Beckett stared off into the distance as he replied, “You mean you never thought I could make it up here.”
Doug never doubted Beckett could do it. He was a man who made possible anything he wanted. It wasn’t the loss of Beckett’s right leg that concerned Doug. Physically, the man was a powerhouse. His emotional state was troubling. Although he’d been looking forward to some time alone, this was the perfect opportunity to find out what the hell was going on with Beckett.
“What are you, forty-three now? Yeah, I’m shocked you still made it up here,” Doug said, trying to lighten the mood. He’d counseled Beckett enough to know he needed to ease into it.
“Is that a challenge, Doug?”
Doug laughed as he sat down on the ground near Beckett. “Hell, no.”
“Shame. I’m stuck on this island with a bunch of guys who work in the office all day. I’d have liked to see what a fellow Marine could bring.”
Doug laughed. “I wouldn’t say these guys are fat and out of shape by any means. Yet I know what you mean.” It was a fitness that went far beyond physical. It was the mental aspect that gave them the advantage. It’s what was needed in the field. An inner strength enabling them to do their job and not break. What people don’t realize is we do break, but have perfected the art of acting, so the average person never sees it.
“What brings you up here, Doug? You look as though you have a lot on your mind. Does it have anything to do with the chopper you flew in on?”
Doug didn’t want to talk about his problems. That wasn’t the purpose of the trip. However, he knew Beckett would be useful in sorting things out. Between the two of them, the truth about what’d happened to Earl would come out. If it wasn’t an accident, someone’s going to pay.
“I don’t think I ever spoke about my father.”
Beckett shook his head.
“There wasn’t anything to tell. He was never really part of my life. Not in any way that’d matter to a young child growing up.”
“Even though my father was deployed overseas a lot, I always knew he was there.”
Doug nodded. “That’s the difference. My father chose not to be. He had every opportunity yet declined each offer. As a kid I always hoped he’d show up for birthdays or my sporting events, but nope. The few times I remember him saying he’d show he never did, so one day, I decided he didn’t exist anymore.” Looking out over the ocean he added somberly, “Now he’s gone.”
“Sorry.”
He wasn’t looking for sympathy. “I need your help, Beckett.”
“You’ve got it.”
Doug turned to him. It was a bond they had. Automatically the answer was yes without any idea of what it entailed. “You have a baby on the way.”
Beckett looked at him and with all seriousness answered, “I know that. Trust me. What do you need me to do?”
“My father’s death is unclear. The police suggest suspicious circumstances, and the death certificate states unknown causes. I need to find out what happened.”
“Did you bring anything with you?” Beckett inquired.
“My father’s lawyer gave me a few files early this morning. I’ve looked at them, but there’s not much in there. I suspect my father knew his life was in danger.”
Beckett arched a brow. “I thought you weren’t in contact with him.”
“He invited me to his wedding a couple years ago. When he introduced me to some of his guests, each of the men gave me bad vibes as if I would never want to turn my back on them or trust them. You know when you look someone in the eye, and you see nothing but darkness? They were the guests he introduced me to.”
“You think one of them killed your father? Why?”
And therein lies the question. Doug could only guess, yet the obvious motive would be money. A deal gone bad. He wasn’t ruling out Candi either. “That’s the problem, Beckett. There are too many suspects and motives. Earl wasn’t a liked man.”
“Earl LaPrade? The guy Trent was talking about? He’s . . . was your father?”
Doug nodded. “The one and only.”
“Fuck, man. Trent was telling me about his reputation. Trent and Earl had gone head-to-head several times on a few prospects. From what I heard it got pretty heated. Trent hadn’t done any business with him in the last few years, well, since Elaine and he got together. If it wasn’t for Elaine, I’m sure Trent would kick your ass off the island.”
I’d like to see him try. “Sounds like Trent knew my father better than I did.”
“You really know nothing about him?” Beckett asked, sounding doubtful.
“Hard to believe, but, as a kid, I wanted to know, and he wasn’t around. Then as an adult, I just didn’t give a fuck anymore. Seemed to have worked for Earl as well because he hadn’t sought me out over the years.”
“If you feel that way, why do you give a shit what happened to him?”
That was a good question. Was he doing this for his father or for himself? He wasn’t sure, and truly it didn’t matter, but ever since the meeting with the lawyer, he had nagging suspicions and questions swirling around in his head. This was something that needed to be done. After he had the answer, he could stop and think about his motivation.
“He was my father.” The answer seemed so brief, yet it was the only answer he had.
“That’s good enough for me. Tell me what you need me to do.”
“I’m going to get a list of people who were at that wedding. Can you use your connections to get me all the information on them? And you know I’m not looking for the type of info that anyone can get. I need you to dig deep.”
“I could use the distraction,” Beckett said.
That was the opening he’d been looking for. “And why is that? What’s going on? Why did you bring me here? And don’t say for KJ. She looked fine to me.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“You’re on edge, and I’m trying to figure out why.” Doug could guess, but he was hoping Beckett had started to work things out already.
“I got it. Don’t worry about me.”
Doug laughed. “You lie and manipulate your sister’s love life just to bring me all the way out here to tell me you’ve got this?”
“Doug, you just lost your dad. You don’t need anything else to think about.”
He appreciated Beckett’s concern, but that didn’t change the facts. His father was dead, and Beckett needed him. If it meant he’d put finding out what happened to his father on hold, he would. Doug preferred to take care of the living first.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Then tell me,” Doug said plainly, knowing very well that Beckett needed to talk it out.
Beckett took a long inhale and slowly let it out before he started. “The baby is due in a few weeks.”
Doug sat quietly waiting for Beckett to say something not so obvious.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”
He arched a brow, puzzled. Beckett was already raising two children. Granted they were no longer babies, but he was amazing with both Jamie and Bethy. Both children had such troubled past lives. If it weren’t for Becket and Danielle, neither of those two kids would have a stable life.
“What concerns do you have?” He made sure not to use the word that’d been at the tip of his tongue. Scares you.
“Danielle is amazing. No matter what’s going on, she holds it all together. Me, not so much. I never thought I could worry so much.”
“About?”
Beckett sat still for a moment, and all was quiet. When he spoke, they were words that haunted Doug as well. “Of being happy. Happier than I have a right to be.” Survivor’s guilt. This isn’t the first time we’ve had this discussion. My friend is in pain. Each of us have something we regret, something that we can’t escape from. We can’t live in the past. Either it’s missed opportunities, lost friends, or a lost love.
“Beckett. We can’t forget our past, but to move forward, we need to prevent the ghosts from choking our future. If you hold on to the past, you’ll miss the new opportunities, new friends, and new loves. By intentionally letting go of yesterday, you can be the best you today. It’s a new day every morning. Remember that mantra?” Beckett’s expression was neutral, but he knew his friend well enough to know he was processing, searching . . . listening.
The hardest thing for many servicemen was to forgive themselves for things that were out of their control. Survivor’s guilt took so much longer to heal than any physical wounds. Most likely because they weren’t as visible to the world, and many people tried to hide them.
“Doug, I don’t deserve—”
“Did your little girl, Bethy, deserve cancer?”
“What the fuck? She’s a sweet innocent child. I’m a—”
“Good man who did everything he could to save his men. Yes, people died, Beckett. It’s an ugly truth that’ll never change. You’re not the one who killed them. Their families know that. The men you led on that mission know it. And the men you lost that day wouldn’t want you to punish yourself.” He put a hand on Beckett’s shoulder. “If you want to honor those men, make every day of your life count. Be the best you can be for your family, friends, and every person who needs you. If you define yourself by what happened in that one moment of time, the people closest to you, your family, will pay the price.”
This wasn’t the first time he’d needed to say this speech to someone. Unfortunately, more people than he could count faced the same challenges. It came in waves. One day they could be fine and life was going smoothly. The next, they were troubled beyond compare, and Doug feared they would snap.
That was something Doug could never let happen again. He hadn’t lost anyone in battle while on active duty, however, he’d never forget the name of the young man he’d lost once they were home. Doug had decided he needed some R&R for himself and went camping, leaving his phone at home. The troubled man had reached out to Doug for help, but when he finally retrieved his messages, it was too late. Larry Jackson had taken his own life.
So the words he just said to Beckett, were the same ones he needed to tell himself daily. He understood feeling like he didn’t deserve any happiness. As he looked at his friend, he saw his own torment reflected in Beckett’s face. Two men, wearing different masks, yet facing the same struggles.
This was exactly what Doug had feared Beckett was wrestling with when they’d spoken on the phone about KJ. Beckett was a strong man with a loving support system around him. If anyone had a chance to heal, Beckett was that man. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t have setbacks like this one.
Having Beckett help with research on what happened to Earl might be the distraction he needed to escape the dark hole he was in. Never thought the death of my father would be considered perfect timing. It might pull Beckett out of this self-destructive emotional state.
“After the wedding, why don’t you work for me for a while? Help me find what I’m looking for.”
“Work for you? I’m not qualified to counsel others. Hell, I can’t even—”
“Not counsel. I’d like to hire you and your team to uncover the truth about my father.” Doug wasn’t sure what they’d find, but with a friend like Beckett on it he wouldn’t need to worry about a bribe to look the other way. In his gut, he honestly started to believe foul play was involved in his father’s death.
“Explain.”
“Beckett, I don’t know anything personal about my father. I want . . . no, I need answers. Not just about how he died, but I want to know who he was.” It was the first time he’d felt knowing his father was important. I need to know how this money was made. If it’s dirty, then I don’t care who gets it. Even if it’s Candi.
“What if you don’t like what you find?”
From what Trent said, I probably won’t. “At least I’ll know. It’s better than wondering.”
Beckett stared at him for a moment then said, “I might not be a counselor like you, but I sure as hell am damn good at reading a person. What aren’t you telling me, Doug?”
He wasn’t about to discuss what transpired in Handa’s office. “Still trying to process it all. I only found out the other day through a letter from a lawyer. I wasn’t even notified before the funeral.”
Doug knew that’d suffice for now. Eventually, he’d tell Beckett everything. Right now he needed time.
Beckett reached out to Doug. “My team is all yours. You tell us what you need, and we’ll find it.”
Doug grasped Beckett’s hand. He was glad to feel the strength and drive in the handshake. Beckett was back on track for now. That didn’t mean Doug wouldn’t keep a closer eye on him over the next few months. Happy occasions like the birth of his upcoming child were sure to rekindle the doubts. This time Doug was going to be proactive. No waiting for the call. I’m going to be around watching.
That came with both a positive and negative outcome. Rose. He shouldn’t be surprised, but he enjoyed being around her. Even though she didn’t feel the same, it was going to get worse once she found out about her boyfriend.
“Speaking of what’s really going on, tell me about Rose. She’s not too happy with me. Since you dropped the bags and took off, I suspect you’re aware of that.”
Beckett grinned. “I’ve learned a lot since being married.”
“Yet not enough to have pissed Rose off in the first place,” Doug added.
“Nope, just enough about when to duck and take cover.” Beckett laughed.
And I learned where your loyalty starts and ends. Doug laughed. Then he brought the subject to the seriousness it required.
“I don’t think she’s put two and two together yet, regarding Toby Martin. Rose is a smart woman. It won’t take her long. When she does, there’s going to be hell to pay. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m the one sharing the suite with her. Which puts me in the line of fire when she goes ballistic.”
“Rose is a happy-go-lucky girl. I’ve never seen her flip out.”
You weren’t in the suite earlier. “She’s more vocal than you may believe.” And no pushover.
Beckett arched a brow. “Guess I still look at her as my sweet, bubbly kid sister.”
She’s all woman. Not that I’m going to tell you that. “Don’t underestimate her, Beckett.”
“I won’t. Besides, if shit is about to hit the fan, you’ll let me know.”
“Oh, it’s going to hit, and it’s not going to be pretty. Try not to throw me under the bus when it does.”
Beckett shrugged his shoulders. “At least you get to go home after and not hear it for the next twenty years. In case you don’t realize it, women have a very long memory. Even over the smallest things.”
Doug shot Beckett a look. “You broke up her relationship and brought me here without telling her anything. If that’s small, I hate to think what big is for you.”
“I didn’t break them up. I only spoke to the weasel and made it clear that she was too damn good for him. Since he’s not here, he got the message.”
“Sounds like major interfering if you ask me,” Doug said, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe Beckett’s denial.
“There’s no way I am letting anyone hurt the people I love.” Beckett’s tone concerned Doug. He wasn’t sure how far Beckett would go to ensure their safety. “If he really cared, my words wouldn’t have meant a damn thing to him. It only proves my actions were right.” Beckett eased up then chuckled. “Danielle has her hands full with me.”
I think I’ll be doing a lot of damage control this week. If I’m right, things are going to get heated very quickly, and it has nothing to do with the sunshine.
Rose wasn’t one to hide from things despite what her family might think. She wasn’t happy with Doug, yet she knew who the mastermind was behind this fiasco. Although she was willing to share the suite, at the moment she wanted some time with her dear brother without Doug present. Opening the door to her bedroom, she peered out. Not seeing or hearing anyone, she quietly left the room and headed toward Beckett’s room.
There was so much she wanted to say. Her brother had no right to fix her up with Doug, and she was going to tell him that. She knocked on his door, and a very pregnant Danielle answered. She looked exhausted.
“Hi, Rose. I was hoping you were Beckett.”
“He knocks?”
Danielle pointed to the table. “Only when he forgets his keys. He seemed to have a lot on his mind when he left for a walk.”
Rose wondered if he was on his way to see her. If so, we would’ve passed each other. No, he’s probably hiding from me. Wise choice, brother dear. “If you’re resting, I can come back later.”
Danielle reached out and grabbed Rose’s hand, practically tugging her into the bungalow. “Don’t you dare. I was just about to get Jamie and Bethy ready for bed. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, but I don’t think I can stand up a moment longer. Would you mind?”
With Danielle holding her so tightly, saying no wasn’t an option. Besides, she loved her new nephew and niece. She hadn’t seen them since the baby shower. Rose wanted to spend as much time with them as she could. She enjoyed being an aunt.
“I’d love it. Why don’t you go lie down, and I’ll get the kids in bed? Anything special I need to know?” Rose asked, not knowing if either of them had any special routine.
“Just that Jamie will say he brushed his teeth, yet if you’re not there watching, he doesn’t do a great job.”
So much had changed. A year ago, Jamie didn’t speak and was reclusive, but now he was acting more like a normal young boy. And Bethy was so full of energy. No one would ever know she had chemotherapy a little less than a year ago.
After the kids had each taken their showers, they huddled on the couch with her for a bedtime story.
“Is Daddy going to read to us too, Auntie Rose?” Bethy asked.
Rose put an arm around the little girl and said, “I think you’re stuck with me tonight if that’s okay with you.”
Bethy nodded.
Then Rose turned to Jamie and asked, “How about you? Can I read for you tonight instead of Daddy?”
“Can I pick the book?” Jamie asked.
Since Rose knew neither Beckett nor Danielle would have anything inappropriate in the house, she agreed. Jamie bolted off the couch and flew into Bethy’s room. To her surprise, he came back holding a book with a princess on it.
Rose took the book from him and asked, “Are you sure this is the one you want me to read?”
Jamie nodded. “Yes. Daddy said you always have to make sure you think of the ladies too and not just yourself. This is Bethy’s favorite book.”
Rose resisted pulling Jamie into her arms as she fought back threatening tears. For the tough act Beckett portrayed, she was seeing a side of him through his children she never knew. Yes, he was still a controlling jackass, but he was also obviously very loving and gentle with his family, even teaching Jamie to always respect others and especially women. How am I supposed to stay angry at Beckett now?
Once she had a child on each side, she opened the book, and whatever anger had been inside her diminished. Being in a home filled with so much love touched her heart. Knowing that this was Beckett’s home, a man who just a few years ago was in such a dark emotional place, made this more special. I’m glad they hired him to handle security here. This place is good for him. Actually good for his new family too.
Rose wasn’t shocked at all when Bethy said, “Let’s read Jamie’s favorite one now.” There was no way she was going to refuse, even after seeing the book was about all different insects. She didn’t have many fears. However, when it came to centipedes, she couldn’t even bring herself to look at a picture, never mind be in a room with one. When she flipped the page to one, she almost dropped the book.
Jamie chuckled and held it for her, turning the page. “It’s okay, Auntie Rose. Everyone is afraid of something. Daddy said sometimes people have fears that no one else can ever see.”
Rose grinned. “I guess you can see mine.” She tussled his hair. Then she closed the book and added, “Okay, you two. It’s off to bed. We all have a big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah. I’m going to be dressed like a princess for Drew and KJ’s wedding,” Bethy exclaimed.
Jamie wasn’t as enthusiastic as he said, “And I have to wear a suit and tie. I hate getting dressed up.”
“I’m sure your daddy feels the same way. But you’re going to be so handsome. I can’t wait to see you.”
Jamie grinned as he ran off to his bedroom shouting, “Good night, Auntie Rose.”
Bethy gave Rose a long hug before trotting off to her room.
“Sweet dreams,” Rose said softly to herself as she was left alone in the living room. She picked up the books and put them on the coffee table then straightened out the pillows on the couch. She was about to slip out of the bungalow when Danielle reappeared from her nap.
“Wow. I can’t believe I actually slept. I normally am full of energy.”
“Welcome to pregnancy. Although I’ve never been pregnant, I’ve seen enough of them. Why don’t I go so you can lie back down?”
“I don’t want you to feel like you need to run off. I’m sure Beckett will be back soon. After his walk, he said he needed to attend to a few things. He shouldn’t be much longer,” Danielle stated.
“I’ll be here for a few days. We have plenty of time to catch up.”
“And since you didn’t come with that horrible man, we can actually enjoy this time together.”
Rose’s eyes widened. Horrible man? You can’t be talking about Toby. He’s many things but horrible, no. “Who’re you talking about?”
“That guy Toby, Beckett told me about. When he told me that Toby backed out, I was afraid you weren’t going to come. You know, coming alone can be hard sometimes. I get that. Yet, when Beckett said you had a date and it was Doug, well I almost had the baby right then and there. I mean, I saw the way you two danced at our wedding. Although Beckett refused to acknowledge it, I know what I saw. You two never took your eyes off each other as you danced. And I caught him checking you out several times when you were talking to others. I’ll admit, I was hoping you two really would hit it off. And look at you now. Dating. This is awesome.”
“Yes. Awesome.” Rose smiled, although she hated lying to her sister-in-law. How did Beckett know Toby canceled? Oh God. Surely not. Had Toby canceled on his own or had Beckett forced him to? Rose felt her heart pounding in her chest. Beckett liked to control things, but if he’d gone so far as to contact her boyfriend and threaten him to leave her alone, that was too much.
“What surprises me most is how accepting Beckett is over you and Doug. When I asked him about it, he seemed totally okay with it.”
Oh he should be. It’s all his doing.
The door opened, and Beckett entered. Rose had to hold her tongue and not start jumping on his ass right away. It was obvious Danielle was clueless in all of this, and she wasn’t about to upset her with the truth. “I should go and leave you two alone.”
Danielle once again reached out for Rose’s arm. “Wait. I know Beckett wanted both you and Doug here at the same time when we asked, but I can’t wait any longer. I don’t have any family of my own. Rose, we want you to be the baby’s godmother, and we’d like Doug to be the godfather.”
Rose froze. It was such an honor to be asked yet the timing couldn’t have been worse. Her emotions were all over the place today—happy, sad, pissed off, and now happy again. This wasn’t like her at all.
“Please say yes,” Danielle pleaded.
Rose forced a smiled and hugged Danielle. “Of course. Yes. I can’t believe you asked me. I guess you can tell I wasn’t prepared.”
Danielle nodded. “I thought maybe you were going to say no by the look on your face.”
Squeezing her sister-in-law tightly, Rose said, “Danielle, you’re family. We never say no to family.”
As they hugged, Rose looked at Beckett, who was standing behind Danielle. She gave him a warning look that the cat was out of the bag. When the women finally let go of each other, she said, “Beckett, we haven’t had any time to catch up. Why don’t you meet me for an early morning breakfast? Come by the suite, and you can join Doug and me. It’ll give us all a chance to catch up.”
Rose didn’t give him any time to respond. If she had, there was a good chance he’d find a way out of it. As she closed the door behind her, she let out a breath she hadn’t realize she’d been holding. Beckett Davis, wait till I get my hands on you tomorrow. When Doug finds out what you’ve been up to, he’s not going to be too happy either. You can’t be playing with our lives like this, and we’re going to set you straight.
She felt confident now, but was happy she was going to have Doug’s support tomorrow. Friend or not, this affected him too.