The modicum of calm that Dustin and I had carved out lasted until a week after my seventeenth birthday. We’d been spending more time with one another around the halls of our school. Whether that time was between a set of lockers, down a quiet hall, or as the cliché demanded, under the bleachers, we took what we could get. In our minds, graduation was approaching too quickly since Christmas had passed. I had begun to forget why we were being so careful, and I found myself joining him in the halls when I caught him on the rare occasion he was alone. He was just as forgetful, slinging his arm around my neck and pulling me into him, where he would kiss the top of my head and tell me about his day.

Pretty innocent to most eyes, not Libby’s though.

Dustin and I were tangled together in one of these instances when we walked right into her. Libby saw us coming long before we noticed her. Dustin’s stride faltered, and we both looked up to find Libby blocking our path to the cafeteria. The interaction wasn’t going to end well, and her stance and rage were quickly drawing attention from the other students passing us by.

Dustin didn’t drop his arm, and he didn’t move away or try in any way to calm the situation. Instead, he held me close to him, his cheek resting against the top of my hair as he exhaled in exasperation.

None of us said anything to one another for the longest time, and the lingering standoff just gave the students a chance to gather around us. I realized a little too late that this was exactly what Libby had been hoping for. She worked best in front of an audience, after all.

“So, this is who you dumped me for?” she asked, her haughty tone edged with a layer of frost.

Dustin laughed once, the sound cold and humorless, which I wasn’t accustomed to hearing from him in any capacity. He had always been so warm and affectionate with me that this inflection of unkindness made me uncomfortable.

“I didn’t dump you for anyone, Lib. We ended the relationship mutually, remember? Now I’m moving on.” He’d kept his voice calm but detached.

“You are so full of shit, Dustin.” Libby pointed one of her perfectly manicured fingers at me. “This bitch has been all over you since September. You think I didn’t notice?”

Dustin stiffened around me, a long, calming breath releasing as he carefully removed his arm. He was genuinely upset, and anger seemed to gather around him like an impending storm, white-capped waves carrying the intent outward.

There were only a few things I could think to do in order to dampen the situation before it escalated because I wasn’t fragile enough to let a few names hurt me. She could fling what she wanted my way, and I would laugh it all off. I was built to weather any storm. Throwing up defensive walls was how I’d adapted over the years, and this was just another reinforced wall that I used to protect myself… especially from people like Libby. Placing my hand on Dustin’s chest, I turned my body to face him, my back now at Libby.

“Let it go. She can’t offend me.”

Dustin nodded but looked past me to the girl he’d been tied to for the last three years. If I had any doubt about how he felt about her, that was obliterated as the coolness filtered into those blue eyes of his as they focused on his ex.

“I think you’ll find I was the one chasing her down, Libby. She’s got more class in her baby finger than you have in your entire being.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn’t want him to do this. Confrontation and an argument were just what she wanted, and she would keep pressing his buttons until she got that very reaction. Me? I didn’t need defending. I never had.

“That’s just insulting. She’s white trash, Dustin.”

Considering the I know I am but what are you defense stopped working when I was ten, the words still rose to the tip of my tongue and went down hard as I swallowed them back. Libby was nothing, she meant nothing, and her opinion meant even less. In four short months, she would be graduating with every other senior, and I would be free of her.

“Does your dad and Rett know about her? Who she is? Do you even know who she is?” she asked, her tone accusing.

Something in her accusation triggered my defenses, and I spun around to face the angry girl as she continued to sneer at Dustin. The curl of her lip and crease of her brow made her look very unattractive. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Libby?”

“Mikayla! Principal's office. Now. That language is not tolerated in this school.” Mr. Burke, my American history teacher, was standing behind Dustin, his arms crossed as he stared at the three of us. “I’m not sure what I just walked up on, but break it up, and get to where you’re going before I send all of you to the office.”

Dustin gave me an apologetic look and turned to walk with me, but I waved him off and headed to the administrative offices at the front of the main building alone, cursing my luck. I’d never sworn in school before. I’d barely spoken if I was honest. I answered the teacher’s questions promptly and politely then shut up again. Of all the infractions they could have caught me on this year—skipping class, sex on the roof of the gym, making out in quiet spots—they’d caught me… cussing. The incident actually started to amuse me, at least until they threatened to call my dad.

All humor drained from me, and I apologized profusely, even if I had learned every single foul word and their connotations from my father and his nightly gatherings. The very last thing I wanted was for the school to call and wake him up. Then they’d really get a lesson in some colorful language. My saving grace turned out to be my exemplary record and history in the school. As far as they were concerned, I hadn’t so much as toed the line in the past. I was advised to choose my friends wisely and was sent to my next class where Dustin was waiting for me.

The experience with Libby didn’t change anything between us, which was what she’d been aiming for, but her reaction and callousness did make us more cautious about flaunting our relationship anywhere Libby could corner us again. She was angry, bitter, and malicious. I still had no idea what she’d meant when she’d asked if he knew who I was with such an accusing tone.

I worried about the implication for days until her words finally faded and fell by the wayside, and I forgot about the incident completely. Only two weeks later did those words turn around to haunt me.

I hadn’t seen Dustin for most of that weekend. His absence was something to do with his brother’s ranch and the transition from cattle to horses—all things I was more than clueless about—so I nodded and smiled with bemusement after school on Friday as I waved him off. I was prepared to curl up all weekend, listen to music, and catch up on some books I’d been buying and leaving by my bed. I’d managed to get through two by Sunday night and was finishing off the second in a nice hot bath.

The slide of my window was harsher than normal before it was slammed closed again, the sound echoing through the bathroom, forcing me to slide deeper under the layer of bubbles that were still fluffy and towered high. I knew my visitor had to be Dustin, no one else knew to come through my window but Megan, and she was so involved with Rob these days I barely saw her. She would also never slam my window closed. She knew better than to attract the attention of anyone else in my dad’s house. The consequences were normally not worth the trouble, and she was easier to explain that Dustin was.

When the bathroom door creaked open, I had to stop myself from hiding under the bubbles. Dustin was standing in the frame, a gathering thunderstorm of fury surrounding him. He looked like he’d been through Hell and back. His shirt was seriously creased and bunched at the collar like someone had grabbed him there. His eyes—normally so calm and warm—looked wild and vacant, and there was a bruise blossoming angrily on his jaw with dark purples and reds standing out against the gentle honey hues of his skin.

I tried to find the right words to ease, or at the least calm him, but I came up blank, my heart aching as the radio played softly. Dustin took a step to the right, his back pressing against the wall before he slid down, so his ass was against his heels. His elbows were propped on his knees, and his head fell into his hands. I’d never seen him so despondent before, and my inability to puzzle out the emotions scared me, forcing a pool of dread to collect in my gut like acid.

“Dustin?”

Sucking in a breath, he looked up at me between his wrists and attempted to smile. Typical Dustin really, he was falling apart, lost and bewildered yet he was still trying to reassure me. God, I loved him.

For a moment, I considered getting out of the bath. My nudity wouldn’t be anything new to him, but my instincts told me to stay where I was.

“That bitch fucking told him,” he finally said in a hoarse tone. The gravelly sound of his normal voice layered on top made him sound as though he was growling. I knew who the bitch was. She’d been subtly provoking me since the confrontation in school. Not blatantly because she was smarter than that. The ‘him’, however, I was uncertain about.

“Your dad?” I asked, keeping my voice quiet and calm.

“No. Rett.”

Leaning forward, I rested my forearms on the edge of the tub and dropped my chin down to watch him. Dustin was torn apart mentally. His hands were shaking, and his knuckles were darker than usual. His jaw was set and completely rigid, the blossoming bruise spreading out from a darker area, which I could only imagine was quite painful considering the shades of blue and green his skin was turning.

“He hit you?”

“Of course he did. He’s a fucking asshole. Just as bad as my fucking dad.”

“What’s going on?” I asked gently, my fingers sliding along the edge of the tub, wanting desperately to reach out to him. Dustin moved across the tile, one of his hands sliding into my damp hair, and his cheek coming to rest on my forearms so we were as close as we could be without him climbing in.

“From what I understand, your dad and my brother got into a situation a couple of years ago. Rett was drunk, and the girl he was with decided that your dad looked like more fun. According to Rett, they exchanged some pretty harsh words, and being the impulsive asshole he is—my brother punched your dad.”

“Christ.” I knew his brother probably wasn’t completely inculpable, but I had an idea that my dad had known just which buttons to press. He’d provoked people before—something I’d heard second hand from Jen. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Dustin smoothed my hair in long, languid strokes as he watched me. A genuine but sad smile formed on his lips. “I know you didn’t, baby.”

“But there’s more,” I said, releasing a sigh, lifting my finger to brush the lobe of his ear.

“Your dad sued him for assault. That’s how Rett lost the majority of the land on his ranch—his dream ranch. He couldn’t pay the mortgage and the settlement, so some of his acreage went into foreclosure. Your dad then saw the opportunity to really get under Rhett’s skin and bought the land with the settlement. Rhett thinks he sold it on for almost four times what he paid.”

Not even the heat from the bathwater could keep me warm as my blood chilled and ran through my body. Knowing my dad was an asshole was one thing, but realizing just how unscrupulous, conniving, and manipulative he was made me feel like I was tainted by mere association.

I didn’t need Dustin to fill in any more of the blanks. I could do that myself. They may have been lenient about Dustin breaking up with Libby, but I was now a non-negotiable term. My father had made sure our name was dirt in the Hill household. He may not know that Dustin and I were together, but he was still doing everything in his power to make sure I wouldn’t have any kind of life in this town. Disassociating myself from him was all well and good, but the sins of my father would always fall on my shoulders, and he cast a very dark shadow.

“I…” didn’t know what to say.

My dad had made a fool of Dustin’s brother and had dragged them through courts for what? Get a payout because he didn’t want to work? I wouldn’t have put that laziness past him. The deduction made me feel nauseous when I realized that was exactly what he’d done. My stomach physically rolled in shame. “Your dad and brother have banned you from seeing me, haven’t they?”

“Fuck them.”

I didn’t know I was crying until the tears left fiery streaks down my cheeks. Dustin brushed them away with the thumb of his free hand, his own eyes glassy. “Don’t cry, Miki. They can demand all they want. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna listen. I love you, and you have to know that.”

My eyes slid closed. I did know he loved me. I’d felt the warmth of the emotion. I’d seen the pureness when he wrapped me in it every time we were together, but this was the first time he’d ever said the words aloud. My elation was tempered with physical and emotional pain. He may have loved me—and I did love him with every part of my being—but that didn’t mean that we could be together. Inevitably, his father would threaten him again, give him yet another ultimatum with his mom involved, and Dustin would be forced to choose between us.

I didn’t want to rip Dustin apart. His mom was sick, and she was slowly declining with every passing day. We never spoke about her cancer or what was coming, but the knowledge and fear were always there for him. There was always a second of guilt after he laughed or felt happy like he shouldn’t feel that way while she was fighting every day for another breath. That was why I couldn’t and wouldn’t make him choose.

“I love you, too,” I whispered, closing the distance between us and pressing my lips against his. Lifting our heads from my arms, we embraced one another, his shirt absorbing all the droplets of water that clung to my exposed skin. Dustin’s hands slid easily up my back and gripped the nape of my neck, holding me to him possessively.

Slowly pulling away, he met my eyes and held my gaze. His pain was a flash of water in hot oil. He could see the resolution in my eyes. He could see it because he was just as lost as me and couldn’t find a resolution of his own.

“There’s a but coming,” he choked out, the tone a non-verbal pleading for me to spare him more pain.

“Not really,” I said, inhaling deep enough to gather my wits. “You and I both know your dad is going to give you an ultimatum. It’s the only way he can manipulate you into doing what he wants. I just want you to know I will support you. No matter what happens. You need to spend time with your mom, and I encourage that.”

“I’m not giving you up.”

Running my hand down his unmarred cheek, I smiled at him. “You don’t have to. I would wait my whole life for you, Dustin Hill. Maybe even my next one, too.”

He kissed me again; the heat and passion making the water temperature feel as though it went from warm to boiling where it touched my skin. He tried to pull me closer against his body, but his grip slipped over my damp, bubbly skin almost comically.

“Come with me.” His eyes were so serious when he leaned away; a small puddle of anxiety circled me. Was he leaving?

“Where are you going?"

“College. This August.”

I relaxed a little. Leaving with him was a crazy notion, but it was also tempting as hell. The only two people I would miss here would understand if I explained the reasons behind my needing to go. Megan would probably be a little surprised I was running away after all this time, but she would understand, and I did have the phone they insisted I used.

“We can look into it,” I whispered, pointing to the towel behind him. He leaned back and grabbed the fluffy material, pushing to his feet and holding open for me.

“That’s a start.”

I laughed and stood, grinning as he folded his arms and the towel around me to lift me from the bath. There were no words for how much I loved being so close to him, especially when his mood was this elated with his insane ideas. For a moment, I allowed myself to think about a life beside him. Waking up to his smiling face every morning seemed like an amazing way to start the day.

“You never do things by halves, do you?” I asked quietly, a squeal following the words as he picked me up and draped me over his shoulder.

“Not when it comes to you, Mikayla Quinten.” He carried me into my room and dropped me on the bed, the towel falling open. He stared hungrily for a moment before blinking it back and nodding at my bared flesh “You wanna fix that? I still have words, and I can’t form them looking at you naked. You’re too tempting.”

Laughing, I pulled the two ends of the towels over the front of my body and scrambled to sit up, holding the material to my chest while Dustin dropped to his knees in front of me. Gripping my thighs, he watched me for a while, and I didn’t move. I just waited patiently, looking at the guy I loved with my heart pounding desperately in my chest.

“I know this sucks. I know I’m an asshole for even asking you for this, but I can’t let you go, Miki. They’ll ask me to do it, too, but before they do…” He trailed off, lifting one hand to rub his face.

“You want to go back to sneaking around with no one knowing?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t think I can make it through the next five or six months without you. If I were a decent guy, I wouldn’t ask you to do this. I wouldn’t have been doing what I’ve been doing. I would stand on the gym roof fucking hollering about how goddamn lucky I am to have you in my life. I want to be that guy. I want to tell the world that you’re mine, how goddamn lucky I am, but I’m weak.”

Sighing, I looked down at him with a small smile. Sometimes, it felt like no one in the world got me like he did, and other times, I felt like he was still getting to know me. Our relationship was never boring, but at the same time, he should have known better than to think I would judge him.

I didn’t need a declaration of love from him in front of the whole student body. I preferred our quiet stolen moments together. I didn’t need to wear our relationship like a badge of honor because it was a permanent fixture in my heart. Once we were out of this town, we’d know what it really felt like to be a couple without limitations put on us by the people who should have supported us. I was fine with waiting for that day. I didn’t want any more unwanted attention from these people who barely noticed I was alive. I didn’t want to deal with Libby and her gang of bitches, either. Even if this new ultimatum hadn’t have come up, I probably would have encouraged him to keep our relationship under wraps. I liked what we had, and I liked the privacy.

“Dustin, you’re not weak. We’re just stuck between a rock and a hard place. We have been since the very beginning.”

“I don’t want to be stuck. I want to hold your hand walking down the halls, to eat lunch with you, and whisper about the assholes in that fucking school. I want to take you to prom, to stand up at graduation, and point you out while telling everyone you’re the only reason I ever did any fucking homework in this shithole school. I want to look back at my yearbook when I’m old and gray and point out to our kids the images of us holding hands in every fucking photo.”

“Kids?”

“Eventually,” he said with a smile.

Running my hands through his hair, I tipped my head to the side and studied him. “Well, then it’s up to us to make our own memories privately. I’ll bring my camera to school from now on. You and I will be covert.”

“That’s my girl.” He smiled up at me, sadness meeting the corners of his eyes as he studied me. “Does this mean you’re willing to officially be my unofficial girlfriend?”

“For the eventual kids.” I sighed dramatically, smiling. “I would be honored.”

Dustin laughed and pushed up, his body coming against mine, forcing me back to the mattress before settling between my legs. Propping himself up on his elbows, he peered down at me. “I love you, Miki, and one day you’re going to be as excited as I am to tell someone about us.”

I smiled up at him. The only people I cared about did know about him. I’d confessed to Jen about our relationship, and though she’d been a little disappointed at the clandestine nature of it, she still supported me, just like I knew she would. Running my hand through Dustin’s hair, I drew in a breath.

“Do you trust anyone enough not to relay that kind of information to your dad or brother?”

“Outside of Troy? Not really. I just wish I didn’t care so fucking much.”

“Your dad and brother have some pretty good blackmail material in the form of your mom.”

His eyes darkened in sadness, the pain as clear to me as he was. “It won’t last forever. And the football scholarship means my dad can’t threaten to pull tuition after we leave.”

“We?” I smiled. “I kinda like the sound of that.”

“Come with me,” he pleaded again, his eyes so earnest I felt the intensity burn through me.

“You know I can’t just say yes.”

“Sure you can.” He smiled and pushed up, one hand peeling that side of the towel away from me. His thumb brushed the edge of my chest, and his eyes widened as my body reacted to his touch. He always seemed so in awe of the skin tightening under his command. “You’re the only person I know who has enough drive to get shit like that done.”

Rolling from under him, I hopped to my feet and stretched out, the cool air on my naked body making me shiver a little. Dustin rolled onto his back and watched me for a second, almost looking rejected.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a hint of bemusement.

“Why, I’m headed to the library. I have an unofficial boyfriend to satisfy, research to get done, and a limited time in which to make it all happen.”

Dustin laughed and grabbed my wrist, tugging me back toward him. He trapped me between his thighs and pressed his cheek against my belly, turning his head to kiss the skin reverently. “Unless it’s the art of sex and you plan on trying out some new positions, you’re the only thing in the world I need to satisfy me.”

“Smooth Talker.”

Dustin pulled away, removing his shirt in one easy movement as he stood and looked down at me. It was my hands that moved to his belt, but his broad smile was most definitely my prize.