I divided my last week in Childress between Holly, Megan, the family, and Garrett, but never at the same time. Garrett and I were having fun together, and as physical as the relationship between us was, we were also communicating. Something I hadn’t put much time into with any of the other guys I’d dated in my adult years. Having that connection with someone was nicer than I’d thought it could be. We spent our time debating politics and discussing things like taxes and legalization laws, or even silly topics like porn and the quality of the production these days compared to that of the nineties. Nothing was off the table between us, and I loved every second of my time with him.

I was due to leave on Monday, so I had promised the Sunday night to family activities and Holly as it was technically her night, but my Saturday night was promised to Garrett. We’d spent most of our time in bed together, but as we made our way out to his porch wrapped in blankets, I let out a small sigh of disappointment that this would be our last night together—something Garrett was intuitive enough to pick up on as he pulled me down into his lap after he’d sunk into one of the Adirondack chairs he’d built himself. I nuzzled into his warm neck and stared out at the vast sky that was shining brightly with the stars that were sprayed across the midnight-blue sky.

“Don’t do that,” he whispered, wrapping his blanket around both of us and resting his cheek on the crown of my head. His chest was still damp with sweat from the sex we’d exerted ourselves with. It made him smell delicious.

“I can’t help it. This sucks,” I admitted, one hand cupping the side of his neck.

Garrett didn’t respond. He held his silence, his breaths sending random strands of my hair scattering over my face and tickling my cheeks. Not talking about my leaving had become somewhat of an unspoken rule. Ignoring what was coming seemed easier than constantly dwelling on how little time we had left together. Only now my big exit had arrived, and it was all I could think about. I wasn’t going to lie to myself about how much I would miss him anymore.

Reaching up, I wrapped my arm back and around his neck, my hand plunging into his hair, nails scratching his scalp as I watched the leaves caught in the porch light dance in the cool breeze. I was actually going to miss Childress for the first time in my life.

“I don’t fucking want you to go, Kay,” he finally said, twisting his head to press his lips into my hair. “I know that’s wrong. You have a life there, and I have a life here, but I’m not crazy when I say we’re good together, right?”

“You’re not crazy,” I answered, fisting his hair and letting my eyes slide closed. I wasn’t in love with Garrett—we’d barely spent two weeks together—but I could see love happening in the future if we had more time together like this. We were good together. We worked in ways I hadn’t considered since losing Dustin all those years ago. I just couldn’t change my life on a whim and make huge changes without thinking them through thoroughly. I had another person depending on me to make good choices and be the lighthouse on the ocean of life. I had a daughter who was the center of my universe, and she always had to come first. I needed her to come first.

“But you have to go,” he said, finishing my silent thought.

“I have Holly to think about, Garrett. She’s in school in Trinidad. She has friends there. I have a business. I can’t just…”

“And I’m not asking you to,” he said gently, tightening his arms around me. “I’m just saying this sucks, and I want more time with you.”

“You’re gonna forget all about me by the time you set foot in the bar again.”

“You’re kidding, right?” The exasperation in his tone was flattering.

“A little.” I craned my head so I could place a kiss on his neck and then rested my forehead on the spot my lips had just been. “You’re not short of admirers.”

“Except none of them are as hot as you.”

“You’re so full of shit.” I snorted, but the sound died into a small gasp when Garrett spread his legs under mine, forcing mine apart, allowing cool air to hit my overheated and sensitive flesh. He let his palm flatten on my stomach before sliding lower and covering the apex of my thighs, the promise of something more forcing my breath from me in little stutters. “Garrett…”

“Shh,” he whispered, dropping his chin to my shoulder where his beard tickled the bare skin there. “Just listen.”

I didn’t have much of a choice. My capacity to think was dwindling as he inched his fingers closer to the dampness of my arousal. So I nodded and was rewarded with a finger slipping between my folds and stroking my sensitive clitoris in a circular motion that was too soft, too slow.

“Hear me out here. What if you and I tried the whole long distance thing? Phone calls, texts, video chat and phone sex, and we can visit when the opportunity presents itself.”

“I…” My voice died once again as he penetrated me with two of his thick fingers, his thumb continuing the ministrations on my clit.

“I’m not fucking ready to let you go, and I sure as hell don’t want to share you with some asshole.” He pumped his fingers slowly, the pads of them stroking the walls inside of me so sensually that my head fell back against his shoulder and a strangled moan fell free. “That’s my girl. I’m not saying you have to agree now but think about it. We’re fucking good together.”

One of my hands dropped to his, guiding him in and out of me with more ardor. His lips closed around the lobe of my ear sucking gently before biting down as his finger pressed against the sweet spot he’d found the second time we’d had sex.

“Tell me what you want, Kay.”

“Fuck me,” I grunted.

“Oh, I plan on that, baby. Will you think about what I said?”

“Garrett… Oh, fuck.” His thumbnail pressed again, and I came undone in his hands, calling out his name to the stars as tremors took over my limbs and my hips rocked my body against his fingers drawing out the pleasure.

It was so easy for him to unravel me like this.

Effortless.

Garrett waited me out, milking me slowly while his lips roamed my neck and shoulders as the pleasure coursed through my veins. I wasn’t willing to give this up, not yet anyway. I was too greedy to let him go that easily. I didn’t need to think about my response any more than I had.

“I want that,” I said, my hand tightening around his as it stroked me calm again. “I don’t need to think about it.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes. Of course, I do. How the fuck am I supposed to even think about anyone else?”

I was barely conscious of his movement, but I found myself on my knees in the chair as he plunged himself into me in less than a blink later, and he took what he wanted from me, again and again, all night until my voice was hoarse and my body ached.

I woke up after only two hours sleep, legs sore but satisfied, and my cheek pressed against Garrett’s warm, muscular chest while I was encased in his arms. I stayed as still as I could, listening to his breaths as he drew them in and released them, and I realized with a deep sense of satisfaction that I’d identified that as his sleeping rhythm.

I lifted my head slowly and studied him for the last time. I watched him sleeping, the twitches of his eyes, and the slight curve to his lips as dreams I could only imagine passed through his mind. I wanted to share them with him, to greedily take more of his time before we would be apart.

He looked so peaceful in slumber that I didn’t dare move, even if I did need to be back at the barn apartment before Holly woke up. She was taking leaving harder than I was, but she hadn’t known about my decision to put off the sale of my father’s assets—a decision that came from a slow nagging buried deep in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to be hasty and make a decision when I wasn’t sure what was best for Holly and me. The house I was certain about, but I wasn’t in a rush for that anymore, either. I needed to know the lay of the land before I decided how many acres I would sell of it. Then again, knocking the house down and planting a weeping willow there sounded like a better use of the land.

All I knew for certain was that I had to go back to Colorado. Holly had to finish out her school year, and we had to go on with life and discuss what we wanted for the future together. My strong-minded teenager was a thinker. This would give us time to do exactly that.

“You’re thinking looks like it hurts,” Garrett said, brushing my hair back from my face and behind my ear in languid strokes.

“It does. I was thinking I should go before Holly gets up.”

Dropping his hand, Garrett tugged the ends of my hair with a sad smile, looking exactly how I felt.

“Can I make you coffee before you go?”

I nodded, swallowing back the emotions as I rolled from his chest in an excuse to hide my face from him. Pushing up from the bed, I started toward the bathroom, but a hand caught mine and pulled me back to the mattress with a squeal. Before I’d landed, I found myself under his muscular body, grinning up at him.

“No tears.”

“I wasn’t crying.”

“You were thinking about it.”

I laughed and pushed up from the bed to kiss him. It was indulgent, and I committed the feel of his lips and the taste of him on my tongue to memory before I tugged on the end of his beard with a grin. “No tears, I promise.”

He nodded, kissed the tip of my nose, and pushed up so he was kneeling between my legs looking down at me with those unfathomable pools of melted chocolate. Once he was confident I was going to keep my word, he rolled from the bed and pulled on some boxers as he headed to the kitchen, leaving me on my back in the center of the bed, head shaking from side to side as I laughed silently.

It didn’t take me long to get dressed and drink my coffee, but I took my time admiring his body as he leaned against the counter in just his boxers. The sight of him was yet another thing to commit to memory for later assessment.

“You’re staring, baby.”

“No, I’m memorizing. Drink your coffee and let me work.”

“Take a picture.”

“Only if you lose the boxers.”

He slipped his cup onto the counter, pushed his thumbs under the waistband of his boxers, pushed down and let gravity do the rest. Standing with my mouth curved into a very satisfied smiled, I patted my pockets for my phone and finally found it in the back pocket, dead. That was just my luck.

“Damn.”

“I’ll send you one.”

“Just like that?” I asked, pushing my bottom lip out in a pout. “I want to remember this moment.”

“Just like this.” His laugh filled the room as he bent to pull up his boxers and cross the room to cup my face in his hands. “Maybe I’ll come up to see you soon, and you can have your phone charged.”

“I like that idea even more,” I admitted, leaning forward to kiss him. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“Thanks for the amazing sex.”

“I feel like I should be thanking you for that.”

Garrett lifted his thick shoulders in a shrug. “I think we should pat ourselves on the back. We’re good at that together.”

“Agreed.”

“Don’t say goodbye,” he said, his smile faltering. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

“How about see you later?” I smiled up at him.

“Much better.”

“See you soon?”

“Warmer.”

“Call you tonight?” I asked, backing toward the door as he followed.

“You’d better.”

Leaning in, Garrett kissed me. This was a kiss filled with promises and intent. Garrett was warm and musky, and he smelled of man and sex. I took it all in with a sigh of satisfaction as he reached around me to open the door, while my ass pushed the screen door out of the way. I cringed as it screeched into the serenading birdsong of the impending dawn.

Stumbling out into the porch with a giggle, I took him in one last time before spinning on my heel and jogging down the steps to the gravel drive where my car was parked. I hadn’t thought it would be this hard to say goodbye, and with the mutual promise of the night before, I really hadn’t expected all of the emotions to rise like daggers inside of me, but they did, and the pain left me breathless.

I clamored into my car and unwound the window, waving as I pulled away and headed down the drive to get to Megan’s. My promise only lasted to the country road at the end of the driveway, and as I turned to head into town, the tears came.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Garrett was only supposed to be a fling that supplied me with much-needed sex and maybe a little flattery to keep me going for a while longer. He wasn’t supposed to mean something. I wasn’t supposed to feel sad about leaving. But I did, which meant only one thing… I was yet again screwed.