Tobias looked up from the stack of envelopes he held in one hand to eye Azrael warily. The former angel was glaring at him, though looking as if he was trying not to. It took effort not to laugh at the shaky emotions crossing over Azrael’s face. Well, either that or he was simply trying not to make a scene as they stood in the post office during the busiest time of the day.
“A man?”
Tobias almost did laugh. “Yes, Az. a man.”
“In a bar, who bought you drinks.”
“People do that, you know. Buy other people drinks. It’s a friendly thing to do.”
Azrael huffed, giving into his emotions enough to cross his arms across his chest. “Very friendly, apparently.”
Tobias looked back up from the envelopes, wanting to get through them all before they continued on. “Az, he never tried to hit on me, or tried to sleep with me. He’s the reason I even found the courage in the first place, to open my mouth to you about everything. Luke bought me a few drinks, let me be vague about why I was there, and then basically told me to suck it up and go talk to you. It was a nice slap back to reality.”
“And what did Luke look like?”
Tobias bit his lip, knowing that to actually release his laughter would only dig him a hole so deep he wouldn’t be able to climb out of it. “Blond hair, blue eyes, looked out of place in his nice clothes. I believe this is the second time I’ve seen you jealous over someone showing me some sort of attention. I didn’t know angels even got jealous, thought it might have been a fluke or my imagination.”
“I am not jealous.”
“Uh huh,” Tobias grunted, disbelieving as he sorted the various pieces of mail into piles of what he wanted to open and what he would simply toss in the shredder. He’d had all of his mail diverted from the box he kept in the town at the foot of the mountain the cabin was built on. If he could have had it so that his mail could follow him all over the country, he would have. Instead he just chose a random post office in Indiana and had kept it there. They had been gone from the cabin for weeks now, and he had a stack, though most of it was junk.
“I know enough about bars and humans to know what humans get up to in them.”
That statement finally made Tobias laugh. “Azrael, c’mon. Why the hell would it matter if the guy did try to hit me up? He didn’t, and he was the perfect gentleman throughout the whole conversation. But even if he did, so what? Let them hit on me.There’s not a person in the world who will ever convince me to leave you for them. There’s no one alive who knows the things about me that you do.”
“After being prompted by a stranger.”
Ah, now it made sense. “Az, you’re not being fair, to either of us. Sometimes the best advice can come from someone who isn’t actually in the situation, and you know what? I’m thankful Luke was there to talk to me about it, and to give me a kick in the ass. But at the end of the day, I wouldn’t have told him more than I already had, but I was able to tell you everything. It was you I talked to about that, just like it was you I talked to about my family. It’s you I’m playing felon from Heaven with, and it’s you I fall asleep next to every night, and wake up to every morning. I’m not going anywhere if it’s not with you, and there’s no one who can compare to you, ever.”
His earnest speech had the intended effect of mollifying Azrael enough to make him look a little embarrassed. “I…apologize. You are right. I should not have assumed anything was amiss in the first place. It would not be fair to demand that you do not talk to someone, or that you should be kept away from people simply because they may desire you.”
Tobias winked at him. “Don’t worry about it, Az. It isn’t like you flipped out on me, or tried to figure out the guy’s last name so you could beat his ass. You already said being a human is different, and I’m guessing angels don’t really do the jealousy thing. So, chalk it up to all of this just being new to you.”
“Is there anything of note in that pile?”
Tobias let Azrael change the subject without comment, though his face still held a small smile. “Mostly just junk, and a couple of lawyer letters. Probably getting yelled at for disappearing, again. But that’s about…hold on, what’s this?”
The scrawl on the envelope was handwritten, but not anyone’s handwriting that he recognized. The name had him blinking in surprise. “Vivian?”
Azrael leaned forward to peer over his shoulder. “Who is Vivian?”
“My aunt, great-aunt actually, on my mom’s side. All of my family had as little contact as they could with her, called her crazy and I’m pretty sure my mom called her a heretic and blasphemer. Then again, she said that about anyone who might take the Lord’s name in a way she thought was wrong. I only saw her a couple of times when I was a kid. Last time was when I was like, 12, and I barely remember her, except for the fact that she was skinny and loud. How the hell did she even know where I was living?”
“Well, what does it say?”
A good question, one he was eager to have answered as he tore open the envelope, pulling out the neatly folded pages to read aloud. “Dear Tobias, how are you, my boy? It has been ages since I’ve last seen you, though it’s been about half that since I heard your name. After a few years of barely speaking to your mother and hearing about your siblings but never about you, I figured you and I were in the same boat, at least where our family is concerned. I can’t imagine what a good boy like you got yourself into for your mother to not even dare speak your name, even in passing, but that’s this family for you, isn’t it? A hot poker in the eye would be more comforting and warm than they are.” Azrael’s brow rose slowly as he spoke, and Tobias laughed. “Like I said, loud.”
“But she has not spoken, only written to you.”
“I just mean she’s got a big personality, very…in your face. I’m remembering it a bit better, now.”
“What else does it say?”
“Let’s see,” Tobias continued reading. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I wrote you, and how I figured out where you live. As for how, well a lady has to have her secrets. Just know I found out, from a reliable source, where you were living and how to get ahold of you. How you have managed to live out in the middle of nowhere for so long is beyond me. Then again, I imagine you had your fill of people growing up, so perhaps living in the wilderness has been like a nice vacation. I am almost warming to the idea myself, save that I hate everything about being in the woods so I think instead, I’ll spare myself and the woodland animals, and instead move on to inviting you.”
“A visit?” Nonplussed, Tobias paused to squint at his aunt’s large, heavy handwriting a little more closely. “Why would she want me to visit?”
“She sounds like she is just as outside of your family as you are. Perhaps she wants to bond with at least one member of her family in some way?”
Tobias shrugged, flipping to the next page of the letter to read the rest. “I know. What could your crazy aunt want with you after all these years, right? Maybe I simply wish to reconnect with a family member, to have some connection to someone I’m related to beyond just blood? Maybe all those years ago I sensed a kinship in you that you’re finally old enough to appreciate? Or maybe I’ve just gone senile in my old age, as time does have a way of catching up with you when you aren’t paying attention.”
Concerned, Azrael looked down at the page in Tobias’ hand. “Oh, I was not aware she was nearing the end of her life.”
“Az, it’s the 21st century and she’s like…in her early 60’s. Unless she’s got a serious health problem, she’s probably alright.”
“She certainly seems lively enough to be of good health.”
Tobias continued reading, “If you should decide to come and visit me, just give me a call. I’ve managed to keep up with the times and have my cellphone (I believe that’s the right term for them) and everything. I’ve enclosed my number in here, and I do hope that you can spare the time to come visit me. I am eager to see what kind of person you have become since I last saw you. Hoping you are well. Vivian.”
He lay the pages before him with a soft, thoughtful noise. It was oddly comforting to read the words of this woman he had met only a few times in his youth. His memories of her were dim and distant, but he remembered the life that seemed to resonate from her. That same spark seemed to pour out of the pages, and he could almost hear her boisterous voice as he had read them. The thought that there might be someone out there related to him, who actually wanted something to do with him, was such a strange feeling.
“Tobias? What do you wish to do?”
Blinking, Tobias shook himself from his thoughts. “Honestly? I don’t know. I haven’t seen this woman since before I hit puberty, or right around that time, anyway. It’s so weird that she would write me after all this time, and I wish she would have told me how she knew what part of the world to find me in. Hell, I could have been hiding in China or be dead, for all she knew.”
“I believe you should go.”
“This one right up there with your reasoning for revisiting my past?”
“In a way, though I do not believe seeing your aunt counts as revisiting your past. If anything, it is more discovery than rediscovery. You remember this woman vaguely, but even in that brief mention, you speak well of her. I can hear it in your voice. She appears to be the one family member you have that seems to possess a positive attitude regarding you. Perhaps this is a way for you to rediscover something about your family, but with less struggle and pain.”
Tobias eyed the phone number on the bottom of the last page. “Uh huh. So while I’ve been trying to make this a trip to see parts of the world that you could appreciate through human eyes, we’re actually on a journey of self-discovery for me?”
“Think of it as being given an opportunity that so few people get in their lives.”
“I think a lot of people get the chance to do the self-discovery thing, Az. I’m not really unique in that.”
“Yes, but how many of them have someone like myself to point things out and nudge them to try?”
“Nudge?”
Azrael grinned. “Yes, very subtly, gently, and lovingly nudge in the correct direction. ”
“And you’re picking up how to be a smart ass. Look out, world, an angel with sass.”
Azrael laughed, placing a gentle hand on Tobias’ elbow. “Make the call, Tobias. If anything, at least you can find out how she found you. Then you can walk away if you want. But I feel that you will find much more than that by the end of the visit.”
“Like Detroit?”
“Like Detroit.”
Tobias sighed. “I suppose you get to learn about cell phones now. Hopefully, the damn things aren’t as fragile as they used to be.”