Tobias found it difficult to believe that someone like Vivian existed anywhere on his family tree. His family tree was a large one, but every single cousin, aunt, uncle, and every variation of each had been like the rest of his family. His family was generally conservative, soft-spoken, polite, and exceptionally religious. Vivian was almost the polar opposite of it, speaking as freely as she wished, her cultured, clipped conversation peppered with oftentimes blunt, coarse opinions and phrases. She was utterly irreverent about the topic of religion, and despite the seeming old world charm about her, was very much a woman of the modern world.
Tobias found Vivian completely refreshing. With her, the more honest you were, the more she liked you. He didn’t doubt that there were subjects she avoided, like any other person, but she put on the air of a someone devoid of any sensitivity or bashfulness. In only a day’s time, he found himself wishing that he had been able to spend more time with her growing up. In her straightforward way of living, he had found something of a twin.
Dinner with her had proven to be a repeat of her greeting, with her keeping up a free flow of conversation that spanned various topics. She adored Azrael, even if she seemed almost bemused by his quiet nature. Azrael had seemed equally put off by her, and the mutual confusion they shared with one another amused Tobias. Azrael could be hard to read sometimes, even for Tobias, and it was nice to see that shared by someone else. Tobias couldn’t tell if Azrael was simply disarmed by her candor or was offended by her manner at times, though he suspected it was a mix of both.
Her home was wonderful, and filled to the brim with various works of art and carved pieces. However, it had been the library that was the real winner for Azrael, and the delight in his eyes at the wall to wall shelves of books had been a treat. It was the first time that Vivian showed pure warmth toward Azrael, all but shoving the quiet man into the room to enjoy himself.
“And you,” she had told Tobias as Azrael ran his fingers along the various book spines, “Are going to be a proper gentleman and accompany me while I deal with some shopping. I find as I get older, I crave company more than I ever did as a young woman. Though nowadays, my choices have been narrowed to the other women in the neighborhood and I would certainly prefer the company of my intelligent, handsome, young nephew to the blathering old women around here.”
Something else he had learned about Vivian was that she had a way of getting what she wanted with just a simple demand. It was hard to tell her no when she insisted, and people oftentimes found themselves overwhelmed by her sheer force of personality. He had come here to spend time with his estranged aunt, however, and seeing as how Azrael was content to fold himself up in a nearby comfortable chair with a stack of books, Tobias couldn’t find a single argument against it.
She had insisted on walking, and despite her age, walked with the kind of energy someone his age should have. She kept up the conversation the whole way to the nearest stop for the streetcar, and he was surprised to find he could keep up with her train of thought. He could see why Azrael, a person who spent much of his time focused internally, could be so puzzled and even worn out by someone as extroverted and lively as Vivian. Tobias loved the energy that seemed to pour out of her, invigorating him as much as Azrael’s company calmed and relaxed him.
“I never did ask. Did you and Azrael find the guest rooms to your liking?” She asked him as they stepped off the street car onto what appeared to be a street filled with various little shops.
“A hell of a lot more than we’ve been enjoying some of the hotels we stayed at.”
That was mostly true, since the setting was less impersonal, and the bed he slept on had been far more comfortable. The only real drawback had been that he had slept alone for the first time in months. It had been a strange night. After the years of both living and sleeping alone, he would have thought himself able to slip into the pattern of sleeping solo again easily enough. Instead, he had tossed and turned in the large bed, unable to find the right position to help him fall asleep. By the tired look on Azrael’s face that morning, Tobias guessed that the former angel had slept even worse than he had.
“Good. It’s been so long since I’ve had guests over that I was afraid the beds had simply turned to stone.”
“No, it was quite comfortable.”
“I’m sure it was different, spending the night alone as well.”
Tobias’ head snapped to her hard enough that he felt his neck crack. “What?”
She bent to look at a series of displayed floral arrangements in a nearby window. “Well, the two of you have been traveling so much these last handful of weeks. I assume that you haven’t been buying two separate rooms. A person can become very used to the presence of another in a short amount of time, especially if they spent who knows how long alone on a mountainside.”
Forcing himself to relax, Tobias nodded. “Yeah, it was different.”
“Certainly, it must have been very different to have your lover sleeping across the hall in another room, let alone a different bed.”
Tobias’ eyes widened. “How did you-?”
She laughed, straightening to look at him. “What, know that the two of you were together? I am old Tobias, not blind. I did wonder when you mentioned over the phone that you would be bringing him, carefully leaving out what sort of relationship the two of you had. But when my first thought upon seeing the two of you get out of that behemoth of a truck of yours was how handsome you two looked together, I just knew. The way the two of you take cues from each other in a simple conversation was another sign. I would have been more surprised if you weren’t lovers.”
Tobias followed her as she briskly strode down the sidewalk to peer at another shop’s display window, seemingly immune to the effect that her statement had on him. It wasn’t the blunt way that she had spoken, as Tobias was already becoming well-adjusted to her manner of speech. He hadn’t had time to really decide whether he was even going to tell Vivian about him and Azrael, let alone how he was going to tell her.
She glanced up, reading his facial expression. “What? After all that you’ve seen, did you really think that I would care about such things?”
Tobias shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not really something that I’ve had to talk too much about. With Az and me, it’s just been…kind of just the two of us. Us on the mountain, on the road, doing our own thing without dealing with other people. You’re actually the first person who I’ve had to talk to about Az and me, so it’s just…weird is all.”
She grew thoughtful. “I suppose after growing up with our kin, you would have some reservations about discussing such things. It’s all too easy for me, as I have been free of their nonsense for most of my life. Lord, you haven’t even been free for half of your life yet, have you?”
“Just shy of a decade.”
Her gaze turned scrutinizing. “If I recall, you should be what, twenty-six?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“That young? Our family certainly has a way of driving its children away, doesn’t it? But then again, I suppose you were wiser about the world than most at that age.”
Tobias looked away. “Not as wise as you’d think.”
“Hmm, I sense a story, one that you won’t be sharing. I have a few of those myself. I won’t pry, but I will be prying about you and Azrael. Do you know that you look far older than you are when you’re quiet, but turn around and look years younger than you are when you look at him?”
“I…no. No, I did not know that.”
“It’s true. I am not much of a poet, but you look at him like he is all that is good in this world. Azrael is better at hiding his feelings, but not because he tries. Those quiet types are always so damned hard to read. But I’ve seen it in him, too. He looks at you like you are the answer to the question he’s asked himself for years. It’s obvious that the two of you are absolutely crazy about one another, and it warms this old, withered heart.”
Tobias snorted. “I think you’re a little too lively to be considered withered.”
“Aren’t you sweet? Now tell me, did you really meet him injured in the woods?”
Tobias took a deep breath, trying to channel an inward sense of calm as he nodded. She said nothing, which he took as a sign to continue his story. It was an odd feeling, talking about his history with Azrael, about as odd as the feeling that someone genuinely wanted to know. Yet, he did it all the same as they walked along the narrow street, her peering into the windows and him slowly getting the story out.
It felt right though, talking about the two of them, finally able to express the happiness that he was feeling about his life for the first time in years. He left out the otherworldly aspects of their relationship, since he couldn’t very well explain that his current boyfriend was actually an angel made human. Yet, he was able to couch Azrael’s innocence of the world in a way that made him seem sheltered and reserved. He could share his excitement at seeing the man’s joy at the smallest thing—from the feel of the ocean lapping round his ankles, to watching his first real snowfall. Tobias had been so embittered by the world that it seemed, at times, that there were no mysteries left, no wonder to be had. Yet, through Azrael, he could witness the beauty of the world that he had denied for so long.
“So,” she began, picking up a bizarre-looking wood carving and turning it over in her hands. “You met this strange man in the middle of the woods. You kept him in the home that you had on your own for years after the tragic loss of your last lover. Then, you fell in love with him and started showing him the world?”
“You make it sound so...banal.”
She glanced up from the statue, looking comically surprised. “Do I? I’m sorry, Tobias. I don’t mean to. On the contrary, I find it positively romantic. I don’t know if I would have had the strength to do what you did. God knows what you had to endure in your childhood, and from the world itself. Then, you finally find a man, only to lose him suddenly. I don’t know if I would ever have come down off the mountain, yet here came Azrael, and suddenly you were opening your heart like it was effortless.”
“It’s not effortless,” Tobias mumbled, taking the statue from her and setting the ugly thing back on the shelf. “He just makes it worth it.”
“That is precisely what I mean. You speak so positively of him, and you look at him like he’s the sun itself.”
“Don’t people squint and go blind if they look at the sun?”
“With a body like that, I bet you are squinting when you look at him, among other things.”
Tobias felt the furious heat of a blush creep into his face. “Vivian…”
She looked up, appearing pleased with herself. “What? Are you telling me that with all the alone time the two of you have had that you’re going to claim you’re waiting for marriage? I hope not, Tobias, otherwise I might be forced to intervene.”
“Ah, no,” he stumbled over his words, praying she wouldn’t feel the urge to sit down and have a talk with either him or Azrael about this. “We’re…we’re good on that.”
“Says the man who stayed in his lonely room all night rather than waiting for his doddering old aunt to fall asleep to slip across the hall.”
“I was trying to behave.”
She snorted derisively. “Behaving is for trained pets, not full-grown men. You have spent weeks and weeks with this man, and this man alone. Why would you suddenly stop doing that on my account? Please, Tobias, move him to your room or you to his. It would make me far happier to know that you are comfortable than for you to be miserable just because you think it’s proper. Heavens, what about me has made you think that I give a whit about propriety?”
“I was trying not to insult your hospitality, Vivian.”
“You do a greater insult by not being with your man, Tobias. Lord have mercy, if I was your age and I was with someone who looked like Azrael, and who made me as happy as he makes you, I wouldn’t be behaving.”
Despite his natural embarrassment, he had to laugh. “Vivian, we do more than just sleep together, you know.”
“Yes, and James and I did so much more than that as well, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t do plenty of the other, too. You wouldn’t know it now, but I was something when I was younger, and James was nothing to be ashamed of without clothing himself.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about us discussing you and your late husband’s sex life …or mine and my current partner’s.”
“Fine. At least promise me that you’ll cut out this nonsense of the two of you separating yourselves simply to be proper. You should be able to sleep with the man you so obviously love. And Lord knows, someone in that house should be having some fun.”
Tobias groaned, glad that the store they were in was empty except for the clerk who was so absorbed in a book they wouldn’t have noticed the ceiling caving in. “Alright, I promise. Just please, have mercy on me.”
“Yes, yes, if you were to get any redder, someone might mistake you for an overly large tomato.”
She gave the carved statue another glance, and Tobias could see the dismissal in her gaze as she looked away. “What is it that you or your husband used to do for a living?”
“As if the collection of various bits and bobs in my house wasn’t a sign? We dealt in historical artifacts, providing them for museums, and to private collectors. I still do a bit of it every now and then, but as I get older, it becomes almost tiresome. I love the modern world and all of its new marvels, but nowadays it seems as if any collector simply wishes to have something for its value, rather than for the sake of the object itself.”
“So, like, antiques?”
She let out a puff of irritated air. “Not really. We weren’t digging up old curio cabinets and Victorian tables to sell to stuffy old women for their parlors. James was rather fond of weapons. It’s not particularly difficult to figure out why a man enjoys such things. I preferred books and scrolls. Things older than this country, or one of a kind, few in circulation, those sorts of things.”
“That would explain the library.”
“Oh, nothing I have on display in the library is of any real value. I do have people over now and again, as hosting is expected. But most of my real collection would turn some of those women’s hair whiter than it already is.”
“Why, do you have a collection of old world porn or something?”
She eyed him as she slipped between the narrow rows of other oddities. “You can talk freely about porn, but not your own sex life? And no, those, I do keep in the library. My main source of business were those eccentrics who were heavily into occult materials. Magic, demons, angels, rituals, that sort of thing.”
Tobias stiffened at the mention of ‘angels.’ “Do you, uh, believe in that sort of thing?”
“Does it matter? Many of the people who bought from me were believers and that was what mattered. If you asked me when I first began on that path, I would have scoffed at the very mention. So desperate to separate myself from the blind dogma of my childhood, I was willing to deny even the slightest idea of something beyond this world without thinking. Now? Well, there are things one discovers as they age, that calls doubt into doubt.”
Tobias thought of witnessing three real-life angels in front of him and snorted. “I think I know what you mean.”
“Oh? Having a crisis of self, are we?”
“Not really a crisis. Just, like you said, had a few things happen that make me question what I thought I knew about the world.”
“That is healthy, at least if you ask me. The day you stop questioning things is the day you really begin to die. Now tell me, Tobias, do these ‘few things’ have to do with a certain quiet man probably still curled up in my library?”
“More than you know.”
“Oh, now that’s interesting phrasing. Does this go beyond the ‘miracle’ of love?”
“You’ll have to get me pretty drunk to start talking about that sort of thing, Vivian.”
“So many secrets,” she sighed. “Ah well, that just gives me an excuse to drag out my collection of wine and whiskey. James was a great collector of both, right along with those weapons he practically drooled over. Honestly, if it wasn’t for how attentive he could be, I might have been jealous of those things. Can you imagine, being jealous of a sword?”
Tobias chuckled, turning to her. “I think on some level that’s why he loved you so much. You were probably his favorite weapon.”
Vivian looked thoughtful. “I was referred to as a ‘battleaxe’ more than once. It was, of course, meant as an insult, but I always rather liked it as a title. I never thought of it like that, but that is very much like James. Not that he would have thought it himself, the man was brilliant and yet dense in so many ways.”
“I think that’s referred to as ‘being a guy,’ Vivian.”
Her laugh was throaty and she slipped around a display to wrap her arm around one of his. “It’s always nice to find someone as self-aware about their own. Now tell me, how are you about picking out clothing?”
Tobias felt himself being pulled along by her surprising strength, shaking his head. “I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong man for the job.”
“And here I was hoping that the way you dressed was simply a matter of practicality. A good thing you have me around, then. Come, I have a few places you must see, and we can look into getting you something other than denim and cotton.”
Tobias winced. “Maybe we can renegotiate talking about my sex life instead?”
Vivian laughed as she dragged him behind her. “Come now, Tobias, do you really think they aren’t one and the same? By the time I’m through with you, Azrael won’t be able to wait to pull you back out of them.”